Power Friday: A Power Thought for Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine’s Day, and thanks so much for joining me today for our Power Friday! Grab your coffee and come on in.

First, let me say to my single friends, Happy Valentine’s Day to you, most importantly. I pray that you will do something that embraces your SOS (season of singleness) and not resent this day that society says is for couples. It’s a day to celebrate love and friendship, so grab a few friends and determine to go have some heart-felt fun!

This Power thought is really to encourage you, but it also speaks to those already committed in relationships:

There is no such thing as a perfect person, but there is a person perfect for you!

See, for those of you waiting for that person, God hasn’t completed some things in the one He has for you, and He may be trying to do a work in you as well. For those of you in marriage, you know by now that the one you’re with isn’t perfect, but God says, in the covenant of marriage, that that person is who HE will use to accomplish His work in you so He may work through you!
                                                                                                                                     Jesus love U 2
                                                                                                                                           pieces!
 Oh that we would allow others to not be perfect, loving them for the gift that they are to us and what they bring to our lives!

Have a loving day!
Evinda

Nana Holds: The First Lesson

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thank you for taking a coffee break in your day and joining me for more of Nana Holds. I think we left off with my first lesson, the first big drop and dip in the ride of this life since John’s homecoming. Grab your coffee and come on in.

While life was picking up speed for me, meaning the framework was being established and formed for the ministry of CPM which required much of my time, there were warning bells that were clanging for boundaries to be set in our home so we all could enjoy living together, except John was “living” less and less with us and more and more with Jenel and her family. They were becoming inseparable and moving toward their future. This journal entry explains it in the moment:

“I started feeling very anxious yesterday. I guess that’s because I thought it would be different. Why am I so bothered and why do I think it’s inconsiderate for him not to call and say he’s not coming home?”

It was like I was having this conversation with myself because in the sentence following that entry, I say: “But it’s not him being discourteous, rather an ignorance of not knowing how to show courtesy, and I am guilty of ignorance in other areas of my life. Search my heart, oh, God, and see if there be anything in there displeasing to you. Thank you for helping me to be honest, for revealing this. I confess, Lord, I wanted a chance to have a real relationship with him, for our ‘blended’ family to truly blend before he began a new family of his own.”

I expressed my frustration, which was really a need, to George, but his inability became that wall, once again, that would have to be taken down, bit by bit, and at his pace, not my own.
In the meantime, I was on one side of the wall wrestling with my need to explain myself and my “loud” attitude, which was greater than my ability to be quiet, to not make things bigger than they actually were which meant I couldn’t be driven around by my emotions.

He was on his side of the wall learning how to speak up to his son and voice his needs driven by his concerns that he was not quite able to share with me . . . yet.

While a portion of the responsibilities pertaining to little Johnny were taken over by John and Jenel, his home was still with us and that was for several reasons, all of them for the well-being of Johnny, with the intent to provide him stability that would go a long way in his development and relationships to come.

But John and Jenel were eager to “be a family,” to practice that before marriage and they began to resist and insist in ways that became extremely uncomfortable. I understood but wrestled with their inability to grasp the truth that comes from experiencing the lessons in life, so a sort of silent tug-of-war began.

Join me next week for more of the end of the season of Nana Holds!

Learning the lessons,
Evinda

Nana holds . . . in her heart

Nana Holds...The Homecoming

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for joining me for a coffee break and more of this true life-changing season that is drawing to an end, but leading into a new beginning. Grab your coffee and join me.

We didn’t really settle into our new reality right away. As I look in my journal, my entries remind me of that time of rejoicing. Apparently I was experiencing more peace and joy than I remember, at least according to this entry on Monday, Memorial Day:

“Wow, what a full day we had yesterday. Father thank you for the joy you fill my heart with, your sovereignty blows me away. You are bringing me to a place I’ve never been. Thank you! Oh, if I could just stay behind the veil and worship, stay right here with you.”

That was evidence of growth, but why and in what way? Well, George and I had not established any sort of rules to live by for John, things we expected of him and from him as a member of our household. I do remember the anxiety I had over this issue, the fear that was threatening to take the steering wheel and drive my emotional car . . . right off a cliff!

Instead, I was learning to rest in Him, and not expect things from my husband that he just wasn’t capable of giving at this time in his journey.

With John’s homecoming came a freedom to participate in a role that God had prepared for me two and a half years prior, but one that I was unable to embrace for several reasons: the main reason was HE still had a great work to do in me before He chose to work through me in this role.

This season of Nana Holds was one of His most sovereign, awe-inspiring, painful but necessary surgeries He’s ever performed on and in my heart to prepare me to embrace the role of President of CPM, a “title” He gave me three years ago but one which I did not embrace with all of its responsibilities until shortly after John’s homecoming.

But then again, I was unable to embrace it because of the things that needed to be peeled back, revealed and healed, and thereafter, what/whom I wanted to embrace was this amazing little boy whom God had used and continues to use to squeeze lots of junk out of my heart and fill it with a love I had never experienced.

I am amazed how the season of Nana Holds and the new one following merged into one to make my present flow with new life, new love, new lessons, lessons that began just one week after his homecoming.

Join me tomorrow for more of this journey,
Evinda

Nana Holds

Nana Holds Continues...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Welcome back to more of the beginning of the end of this season and series, Nana Holds. Grab your coffee and join me where we left off, meeting George, John and Jenel for lunch after his unexpected release from his “new job.”

JoAnne and I walked into the restaurant and were greeted by the host. “How many?”
I explained that we were meeting three others and a flash of recognition danced across his face as he smiled. “Follow me. They’re outside.”

When we arrived at their table, George stood up to greet me. I hugged him to me and gave him a quick kiss and by that time, John was standing and I embraced him. “Welcome home, Sonny,” a nickname his dad always uses.

“Thank you.”

I re-introduced JoAnne to Jenel; they had met at our last event, and then introduced her to John, who was seated next to her, and Jenel was on his other side. After getting our drink orders, John and JoAnne began talking, so with my right ear I was listening to my husband – don’t let him know that! :) --- and with the other ear, I was listening to JoAnne draw John into a conversation about the difficulties of the recovery process, the program and other things related to the process. I was amazed at how she was able to not just talk with him, because she’s a great conversationalist, but draw him into the conversation with his thoughts and opinions. That was so encouraging.

See, she was in the beginning stages of what we had already walked through: an adult child self-destructing, but her adult child was still in that self-destructing process and not quite ready to admit she had a problem, let alone stop the behavior.

Before our food came, George’s phone rang; it was his boss, who used to be John’s boss, wanting to talk with John. Their conversation was very short, but John told us after he hung up that they were welcoming him home, and if he was ready, they invited him back to work as early as the following night. Since it was the Memorial Day weekend, John asked if he could start on Tuesday so as to get settled and back in the swing of things. He was jumping right back in the saddle, so to speak, and it was absolutely amazing that God had extended him such favor once again! Just hours out and he already had a job, a promising relationship and things were really looking good for him and little Johnny.

That first meal was more of a celebration than I thought it would be. I was amazed at the touch of grace that had been painted on the fresh canvas for his new beginning. That same grace helped me to stay out of my head and put myself in John’s shoes, thinking of the relief he surely must have felt to finally have this behind him, ready to embrace new beginnings.

Another person who was incredibly happy was/is George. For the most part, I was truly, down to my toes, happy for him, his re-ignited happiness and joyful nature that attracted me to him all those years ago spilling out and touching us all, pulling laughter from each one of us.

I had to really work at it to not let the past interfere with my present, to stay in the moments of celebration. I didn’t want my fears to rain on John’s victory, and I didn’t want my selfishness to take away his relief at the freedom that was granted to him to come home and be his son’s daddy. It was just all happening so fast, and when lunch was done, and John and Jenel stood and announced they were going to go and pick up little Johnny from school, reality hit, like a sucker punch. But of course they wanted to be the ones to go and get him.

Oh, how excited he was going to be when he looked up and saw his daddy’s face, right there at his big boy’s school. I can just see his sweet face break out in the hugest of joyful smiles, his eyes getting bigger and brighter as John told him the words his heart didn’t even know he wanted to hear: “Daddy’s home!”

Join me tomorrow for more of the beginning of the end!
Evinda

Nana holds . . . in her heart

Manna Monday is back!

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Dear friends of CPM,

I am extremely grateful for the comments you all left on the last blog. I’m blessed that Kim (Evinda) has given me the opportunity to write on another topic that is extremely near and dear to my heart- my brother’s ultimate surrender. Let’s pick up from where we left off last week!

It wasn’t just me who became very disconnected by my father’s death; my brother also became very disconnected and through the use of different coping mechanisms, his dependency upon the Lord seemed non-existent. That is until recently. But I never really gave it the thought it deserved until a very special weekend in the not so distant past. We both were given an opportunity to attend a men’s conference and Raul Ries was the guest speaker who elaborated on the topic of repentance. It was incredible to be sitting next to my brother who, like myself, hadn’t attended church due to spiritual disconnect from a living a life of carnality. As we worshipped, my brother bowed his head and began to pray- something that I have not seen since before the passing of my father. It was evident that God had moved him in such a way, as to welcome back his prodigal son.

I have never prayed harder for anyone, besides my father who was ill, than I have for my brother. And God has remained faithful to my prayers. I was searching for an immediate solution but little did I know that God would use me, the ultimate mess-up, to bring my brother back to the Lord.

During the break-time at the conference my brother and I began discussing how we might be able to share the word of God with young men who have been going through difficult times in their lives. God put something amazing on his heart…but I promised I would not share until we have          prayed about it, but I’m extremely excited to see what the future holds!          my brother @ my mom!
This will be something to blog about in the future.

But in the meantime, let me just fervently encourage you that consistency in prayer builds faithfulness in God’s ability to work in our lives. God’s in the business of transforming hearts! Have a blessed week guys and thank you for all of your support!

Warmest Regards,
Garrett Castro

Power Friday!!

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for joining me for Power Friday @ Chicklit Power. Grab your coffee and come on in for a quick break.

This power thought came to me just recently while preparing for our third session of How to Love Who You Love, our Relationship Trench Class. We are learning so much in this class and my heart just wants to sing at all the revelations and breakthroughs the class is experiencing, both individually and as a group.

This past week the subject of respect came up, and a couple struggling with their three and five-year-old admitted to really struggling with this issue. Well, this really pulled a good majority of the class in while the ones who had already raised their child or children looked on, and before you knew it, we had been talking for 45 minutes.

See, many of us experienced either one of two philosophies about respect: It was either demanded from our parents, or crammed down our throat that it is something earned. Well, both of those reek with pride and what’s in the middle of “pride”? Yes, I!

You should have seen everyone’s expression when I humbly said it is neither! Do you know you can totally respect someone who is disrespecting you, and do it in the moment?

How?

I’m glad you asked! There are a few ways, but one of the most effective is by informing the one disrespecting you that you care too much for them to participate in that conversation, and then walk away!

The questions came at me like arrows to a dart board aiming for a bulls-eye and they all had to do with children behaving disrespectfully and that’s where this power thought comes from.

If you want your children to understand respect,

live it, be it so they see it.

Children, for a short period of time, are your little mirrors, repeating nearly every move you make, your body language, your attitude, your words. If you are fighting in front of them, then you can rest assured when it comes time to discipline them for something, they will fight with you. Children learn to love how they see you love as well as from how you love them!

Be the example of respect for your kids . . . they are our next generation of preachers, teachers, workers, doctors, scientists, inventors, encouragers, artists, engineers, and the next addition to the Bride of Christ.

Respectfully,
Evinda

February WOW: Part 3

The Internal Tug-of-War

“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh and these are contrary to one another so that you do not do the things that you wish.” Galatians 5:6-7

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Oh, it’s great to have Coffee Hour with you today and share from my heart to yours. I pray that the tug-of-wars we witness today will resonate in your mind, body and souls and help you let go of the rope and allow His Spirit to pull you into victory! Grab your coffee and join me in the front row of some tug-of-wars.

I just had a thought: tug-of-wars are inevitable, but they are also avoidable. In order for there to be a tug-of-war, there has to be a volunteer!

Let me introduce you to the participants in this tug-of-war and I hope you can try to get a mental picture: You, or I, and our flesh/desires, tangled with our emotions which have buried our spirits, are on one side of the rope; and The Spirit is on the other end of the rope. The participants are always the same, namely the flesh, and The Spirit, but the tug-of-wars, or the battles, may vary.

Look around. I don’t know about you, but I can see family members, friends and co-workers in all sorts of tug-of-wars, all different in intensity, all the same battle: flesh versus Spirit. Some of the ropes are super thick, and some, not so thick. You would think that the longer the tug-of-war goes on, the thinner the rope. Not so! The longer we feed our flesh, the more it cries out for more! It’s a never-ending, never completely fulfilled being and the more you feed it, the more it takes!

The flesh and the emotions tend to fight and pull on the rope using the same methods: longings and lies, taunting the spirit that is buried with words that threaten the self-esteem, poke at the delusion of control and all in search of acceptance and perfection. And they do it so loudly so as to drown out the voice of The Spirit on the other side of that rope in the tug-of-war.

To the right there are the tug-of-wars with addictions, all kinds of addictions to things that feed the flesh but have also ensnared the emotions, convincing one that the need is greater than the ability to let go. Wow, there’s the rope of food, alcohol, prescription drugs, illegal drugs, pornography, power, money . . . the ropes go on, threatening to pull us in at any moment.

How can we avoid that tug-of-war? Well, I must say that everyone has participated in a tug-of-war, voluntarily or involuntarily. But how can we stop picking up that rope, feeding the flesh? We must heed the call of deep crying out to deep. His Spirit beckons our spirit to join forces and win the battle over flesh.

Oh how thankful I am for the promises that remind us this tent we live in is temporary: For we know that when this tent we live in - our body here on earth - is torn down, God will have a house in heaven for us to live in, a home He Himself has made, which will last forever. (1st Corinthians 5:1 Good News Translation)

What if we were to treat the cravings of our flesh as a labor pain where we know they are going to continue to strike but we breathe and pray through them, not even picking up the rope to participate in a tug-of-war?

I would venture to say that then, you are walking with The Spirit and your journey has just become easier! But when you do find yourself in a tug-of-war, remember that deep cries out to deep; His Spirit will empower you to let go and join forces.

Entwine my spirit with Yours, Abba Daddy!

Evinda