Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Laugh With Me

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Wow, can you believe it; the last day of the month! Whew, come on in and take a break with me before May is here! Grab your coffee and let’s go find some more reasons to giggle, and share a laugh or two! I think we left off in Proverbs.

Proverbs is also full of relationship advice, whether that relationship is a friend, a spouse or a co-worker or family member! I don’t know about you, but when I learn something new, I do smile from the inside out. Proverbs is full of word pictures that reveal ways to show love, dedication and high moral standards, and these word pictures breathe consistency into us as we ingest the words of Solomon.

Proverbs also addresses speech! What’s in our hearts has a way of coming out of our mouths! There’s sort of a funny picture. See, how we talk reveals our soul, who we are, what we are really like. Proverbs teaches us that choosing our words wisely before we speak them takes self-control. I love the word picture in Proverbs 17:14: The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts. What a word picture, huh? Can you just close your eyes and visualize someone whose mouth just keeps pouring out like a broken faucet?

Proverbs also reveals that God is the one with the final say, the one who controls the outcome of all we do! Why do we buy into this illusion that we are in control! Have you ever had that bubble popped before? I have and more than once! We are accountable to carry out our work with diligence, discipline and determination, which equates to leaving the laziness in the Lazy Boy chair! See, He evaluates all that we do and say so we should work with a purpose, speak with a purpose!

And finally, on the subject of success, the Book of Proverbs reveals that success is found in our relationship with God for that is what counts in               He fills my heart
eternity. I can’t help but smile when I think of that; all this stuff we endure,          with laughter!
all the relationship problems are temporary, in our lives to prepare us for the
One we will spend eternity with. Yes, as much as is possible with me, I want
to live peaceably with others so when I get there, I can hear Him say,
well done my good and faithful servant. How can I not be cheerful when
I think upon these things?

Join me tomorrow for some funny words out of Christ’s own mouth, from Him to us . . .

Loving His sense of sovereign humor,


Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Laugh With Me

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Wow, where has April gone? Whew, we are about to begin a new month . . . AGAIN! Grab your coffee and come on in, before the month is gone! We are exploring some fun truths about laughter and cheerfulness and how digging into His word brings just that!

Check out many of life’s lessons which are delivered with a smile and a wink in the Book of Proverbs. Now, many of us may not consider “wisdom,” the theme of Proverbs, funny, but let me tell you, to receive the Good News, this is a great place to start. God desires for His kids to be wise in the ways of the Lord, not wiser in the ways of the world but wise to the ways of the world! Let’s look at Proverbs 1:8-9: “My son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother, for they will be a graceful ornament on your head, and chains about your neck.”

At first I thought, well, I don’t have a father; however, God did bless me with a great self-adopted mom and a wise one at that. Ah, a smile from the inside out. It’s okay that I didn’t grow up with a mom and a dad, the way HE designed; He has made it all good. But when I saw the “chains about your neck” I thought, what, as in choking me? And sitting there looking at it again, I realized, no, silly, wisdom is like a beautiful necklace to be worn, an attitude to express, a light in the dark parts of the journey.

In Proverbs 15:13 we read: “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.” Do you think someone who walked around with a frown from the inside out wrote this? No way; they experienced true joy, cheerfulness, laughter.

Proverbs 17:22 says that a cheerful heart is like medicine and a crushed spirit dries

up the bones! Look at the humorous symbolism in “dry bones,” and yet, what a sad picture, huh! But oh how true it is that to have a broken and sad spirit, one is hunched over, burdened, weathered. Why? It takes more energy to be sad/mad than it does to be happy and joyful and yet, the latter takes a bit of work and re-training! Sadness/negativity is a burden carried while laughter is a gift that is shared.

Have you ever been in a group and suddenly someone starts laughing and you look over to see what’s so funny, and one by one, the people in the group catch the laughter as if it were a fire, and soon, it reaches you, and              He fills my heart
even though you don’t know what in the world you are laughing about, you            with laughter!
 laugh? It’s contagious! So if you see someone walking around without a smile,
give them one of yours. You never know what kind of spark it will ignite!

Oh, that we would meet Him every morning to be refreshed, ready to meet life and embrace the opportunities to laugh. Join me tomorrow for more ways to look at laughter in the Scriptures.

Smiling with you,


Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Monday Manna

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy Monday!

My wife Kay and I had a great conversation last night; we somehow got onto the topic of the aging process. I think it all started when Kay asked me what we should plan for our birthdays, since they’re only five days apart. Before I could respond she looked at me, froze, and with a serious face she said, “Garrett, you’re turning 28…that’s old!” I laughed about it but then I suddenly went into quarter life crisis mode. “I am getting old!” I responded.

As Kay was planning our birthday weekend getaway I began realizing that she just identified the correlation to my chronic lower back pain, premature wrinkling, and suppressed metabolism. Oh to be young again! Kay, observing my concern, reminded me “Gar, don’t worry…40 is like the new 30!” She always knows how to cheer me up…

Looking back at our conversation I’m reminded of how resilient the human body truly is. We are wonderfully made. We have the ability to feel pain, through a series of chemical reactions that occur within the body. We have the ability to identify certain smells and catalog these for later use. God has given us eyes, that have the ability to focus and adjust to light with such ease, that no camera will ever be able to replicate. God has given us the ability to hear through tiny vibrations that occur within the membranes of the ear. And let’s all thank the Good Lord for our ability to taste. My Coconut Ice Cream is beckoning. How is it that our taste buds can communicate to our brain that the stomach and G.I need to prepare for the absorption of nutrients once I place that delicious bite of Coconut Ice Cream on my tongue?

That same day I began watching a movie titled Evolution Versus God. In the film, multiple students and professors are interviewed and asked questions about their beliefs in evolution. The interviewer asked every student and professor to give an example of observable evidence of a change of kinds, for example- the assumed link between the monkey and the human. Many students were completely stumped by the question and a majority said that they had faith in the scientists that advocate Darwinism evolution. Many students, who didn’t know how to answer the question, simply brought up examples of adaptive responses, such as the changing of bird’s beak size as a way to adapt to its ever-changing environment. A professor who was interviewed used the example of bacteria and stated that a certain type of bacteria change, since they can produce new metabolic capabilities. But it’s still bacteria!

I encourage you to take some time to watch this short film. We know God is sovereign, therefore we know that God has the ability to create something out of nothing. The late Pastor Chuck Smith summed it up best when he replied to the question of an atheist regarding evolution. He stated “Every creation demands a creator.” Our ability to understand science coincides with our own beliefs through faith in the Bible. The secular world will do everything they can do disprove our belief in creation, but doesn’t it take more faith to attempt to disbelieve? I want to leave you with a verse out of Colossians 1:16- “For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through Him and for Him.” God Bless you and have a Great Week!

In His Love,


Garrett Castro
P.S. Join Steve & Evinda as they pick up where they left off on Blog Talk Radio with How to Love Who You Love! They will be finishing up the pleasing imprint! Are you the one always trying to please in your relationships? Tune in! www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Power Friday

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for joining me for Power Friday @ Chicklit Power! Grab your coffee and come join me for this little download He planted into my mind and rooted in my heart just a couple of days ago!

Have you ever been involved in a conflict where you knew and were defending not necessarily who was/is right but what was right? What a tough thing, right?

My husband and I are involved in that very type of conflict with family members, and while I’ve been able to remain fairly objective, it’s been difficult to watch as the conflict continues to divide our family, with a harsh and ugly line.

I learned quite some time ago that it’s not who is right that matters, but what is right that we should stand for, but how do we do that in a way that is pleasing to Him without trying to do His job?

Oh, He is faithful to answer when we seek Him. This is the answer He gave me as I was running on the beach, listening to the crashing waves, mesmerized by His sovereignty as He holds back the waters:

Jesus doesn’t fight for "what" is right or "who" is right; He just loves the wrong right out of us . . . if we let Him!

Letting go, letting God,


Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Laugh With Me

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for joining me for a little more light-hearted series, Laugh with Me. Grab your coffee and come on in and hopefully when you leave, you’ll have a smile in your heart that wends its way to your face, and is given to many who you see without one! Let’s dig a bit more on the subject of laughter, so we may laugh a little deeper and a lot more often!

Some other Hebrew definitions for laughter are: "To be fresh, i.e. full, rosy, (figuratively) cheerful; to announce (glad news) ... bear, carry, preach and tell good tidings."

What? It means to preach? Really, you ask? (Well, maybe you didn’t ask but I sure did when I read it!) :)  But now I get it. Come with me. Let me introduce you to one of the greatest prophets in the Old Testament.

Isaiah, the prophet, was a great example of “cheerful." In fact, in Isaiah 61, we can literally almost touch the “cheerfulness” Isaiah is preaching with here: He is speaking about the Good News of Salvation! Of course he was cheerful. He says: “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,” which were the same words that Jesus quoted in Luke 4:18-19.

For those of us in relationship with Christ, accepting Him as our Savior, we know that His Spirit is part of the deal; it’s in us. But what a great Christ-like example for the Spirit to be upon us; in other words, able to be seen by others as it splashes hope, grace and love on to others. You can’t help but notice the light coming from that person.

Have you ever been the bearer of good news? Were you smiling from the inside out and could you hardly wait to get it to them? I just love telling my little four-year-old grandson I have a surprise for him or some good news. His little eyes get as big as quarters, and they light up with sparks of childlike joy that make me smile from the inside out.

Believe it or not, each day, there is something that can be considered exactly that! All we need to do is rewind the movie form the day before, in slow motion if you will, and look at the God-winks, or God stops along the way. He waits with anticipation to replay the movie from the day before, to show us His Good News in action by reminding and refreshing our memory and soul of the times He intervened the day before. This is why He tells us: "Be still and know that I am God"!

For example: did you avoid a fall, experience a near-miss while driving, receive some sort of good news about a situation or problem, hear from an old friend, experience a divine appointment? There are so many times when He extends His hand out to us, without us seeing, and He speaks into our conscience through a song, a person, or even creation, and most especially His Love Letters to us.
Unfortunately, most of us don’t take the time to be still and know that He is God because we are in the throes of life and we miss the reality of His blessings and acts of provision and protection. But a little dab will do ya; I promise! He realizes you don’t have all day to sit and read, put your feet up and eat bon-bons! Just give Him the first minutes of your day.

What, intimidated by the Big Book, you say? That's a common feeling, and it can be even more so, based on our interpretations of God and the feelings we ascribe to Him. Maybe if we put ourselves into what we are reading, the intimidation will disappear slowly, like a cloud from the sky. And you don’t have to read an entire chapter to be full of His Good News.

Take a Psalm a day and experience the highs and lows of the psalmists. Write your name wherever possible and then add your circumstance, relationship issue or whatever is zapping energy from your soul. For example, today is the 24^th. Let’s go to Psalm 124, which is a psalm about being delivered from an enemy/unlovable person in our life. We’ll just take verses 6-8 and let me show you what I mean by putting yourself in it:

“Blessed be the Lord Who has not given” ________ (put your name in that blank) “ as prey to their” ___________________. (Put the word scheme, or gossip, or trickery in this line, depending on your current relationship problem and who it is with.) “Our" (My) "soul has escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the” _______________ (fill it in with the same word you just used in the last blank line) “is broken and we” (I) “have escaped. Our help is in the name of the Lord Who made heaven and earth.”

Now so it’s a bit clearer than mud, let me re-write using something I’m going through and let me tell you, there is a cheerfulness that begins within that turns my frown into a smile:

Blessed is my God Who has not given me as prey to their anger and bitterness. Please cause my soul to escape their bitterness and their anger as a bird from the snare of the fowler and their anger and bitterness will be broken. Yes, my help is in the name of the Lord, the creator of heaven and earth, not in this person and their bitterness and anger.

                                                                                                                                Good and Cheerful

When we put ourselves into His Love Letters which were written about us                     News!
and for us, that is some cheerfully good news! Go ahead, it’s your turn; give                 
it a try and let me know if you don’t smile from the inside out!

In His love and laughter,


Evinda

Coffe Hour @ Chicklit Power: Laugh With Me

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for joining me for Laugh with Me and Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. It’s great to be with you for this new little series – at least I think it will be a little series, but hey, who knows? Grab your coffee and come on in and hopefully we can share a giggle or two!

So in our last coffee hour, I shared that I was amazed that despite being surrounded by some conflict, He blessed me with the ability to let go and just laugh!

If we believe that the Word is Holy Spirit inspired, then a sense of humor really did begin with God Himself and He passed it down to His Son. :) Scripture is full of some hilariously ridiculous analogies for some of life's most important and serious lessons.

Let me explain to you what I mean. The Hebrew concordance says that "laughter," translated to “basar,” doesn’t always translate to humor, per se, but there is always an undertone, or overtone, of cheerfulness. This reminds me that no matter what is going on in our worlds, and our lives, there is always something to be cheerful about. See, to be cheerful takes a grateful heart. When we are thankful, no matter what our circumstances, we can turn a frown upside down.

I think the first time “laughter” appears is in Genesis when Sarah laughs at the visitors who visited Abraham and told him that she would conceive. She was laughing because she was 89 years old and had given up on that dream, and discounted the guy's comment as ridiculous. How many times do we give up on our dreams and the possibility of God fulfilling them and call them ridiculous?

He fills my heart with laughter!

 

I don’t mean to get serious, but I think there are two lighthearted but poignant lessons here: We shouldn’t laugh at the expense of another person! I don’t think that makes Him smile! Second, never discount God's sense of humor as He weaves His plan into your dream!

I have been like Sarah but in a different area of my life. For example, I was never going to get married again! Here I am, almost married for ten years -- I've never been married that long! God's plan! And then there's this writing journey; I just wanted to write a book, and here I am, writing from my heart to yours and working on my fifth!

If He would have shown me the full movie, or even any part of what happened after the first book, I would have laughed myself silly! And I probably would have run as fast and far as I could without stopping!

Oh, how glad I am that I didn't and I know that I know, looking back, I would do it all over again because I can truly see His sense of humor in it all, amidst the refining process!

See God's ways are not our ways and just when you think you have HIS plan for YOUR life figured out, He does something different, completely unexpected, and there may be some time that goes by before you can actually laugh, but I know that I know that the ability to laugh at His sense of humor comes as we learn to let go, let God and just laugh!

Smiling with you,


Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: LOL

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for stopping by for our Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. Today is a new day; His mercies are new and it’s time for a little laughter! The more I get to know Him, the more I realize He has such a sense of humor so this may become a series! Grab your coffee and come on in.

Have you ever yearned for laughter? I have, and am in need of it even more so during this season of my life. I’m experiencing a learning curve, if you will, trying to not take myself, and life so seriously, despite all that I am learning in and through the curriculum He is writing through me about hurts, habits and hang-ups. Incidentally, I am so excited about this curriculum! I can’t wait to share it with everyone!

Ecclesiastes 3:4 reminds us that there is a time to weep and a time to laugh! I want to laugh! By golly, I’ve been yearning for laughter for several days now. But I had no idea He would bring it about in the way that He did despite the conflict surrounding it. Why do I continue to be surprised at His ways? Now I’m smiling!

We were spending time with our four-year-old grandson and it was getting close to bedtime; however, he was still fully charged! I was beyond tired and his emotional thermometer, aka, his attitude, revealed he was too. He demonstrated quite an attitude when I asked him to do something – I don’t even remember what it was – and instead of pulling the “I’m boss card” and getting puffed up with my own attitude, I was overwhelmed with this reflex to pick up a pillow and lightly swish it at him. It worked!

An all-out pillow fight ensued and George came over to join us. I let all the cares in my world go within the first few heaves of pillows. First it was               He fills my heart
Bryden and me against George; then he would quickly change sides over               with laughter!
to George’s side. “Papa, here, here’s anuder piwow.”

Bam! One came flying at my face and knocked my glasses to where they were all caddy-wampus! I was laughing hysterically as the next one came and knocked me off balance. And then Bryden was back on my side and we were shooting pillows at Papa faster than bullets coming from a BB gun could fly.

The pillow fight turned into hut-hut 24, our favorite chasing game we used to play during the season of Nana Holds!

Oh, it felt so good to laugh like no one was listening, to play like a child with the child God chose to teach me so many things, including how to be a child! I just know Jesus was laughing with us too, rejoicing over us with gladness that in what could have become a trying moment became a joyful one because of He who is within us!

Love and laughter,


Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Monday Manna

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy Monday Manna,

I hope each and every one of you had a blessed Easter. On Good Friday I had the blessed opportunity to meet with an old friend and brother in Christ, Mike Austin, for breakfast. As we fellowshipped, we began discussing what worship meant to each one of us and how we interpreted the act of worship. I was surprised to find out that our interpretations varied substantially, but both were based upon the same understanding.

It’s amazing how the Holy Spirit can work through fellowshipping. I’ve always interpreted worship as the act of praising God through song, prayer, or through reading of The Word. Up until Friday, I had never considered the act of fellowshipping as an act of worship. As Mike and I really peeled away the layers of what worship meant to each one of us, the veil was lifted and I realized that as we were discussing scripture and its application within our own lives, we were actively worshipping God for who He really is- Our Lord and Savior. I was blown away at the many different forms of worship. The Holy Spirit is always at work, even at IHOP!

Mike says many prolific things, but I will never forget what he told me on Friday. He stated “Garrett, think of a rose. When you see such a perfect creation, with it’s vibrant petals, and dark green stem, think about what God sees; one of his many creations looking up to the heavens, worshipping Him, and declaring His sovereignty. God’s creations are all so unique but have one thing in common, in that we have all been equipped with the capacity to worship. That rose has been made to honor God, to submit to God, and is loved by God just as we are. That rose is perfect in the eyes of the Father, and through faith in grace, we are made perfect.” I was left speechless!

Friday was definitely a Spirit filled day and as I returned home I decided to let our dogs out back for some much needed activity. As I was watching them roam around chasing lizards and lounging in the grass, I decided to tend to our backyard, which is our outdoor sanctuary. As I was pulling the weeds in our planter I remember what Mike had said and suddenly became mesmerized as I saw our long stemmed flowers facing the heavens and swaying with the cool breeze. As the puppies lounged in the grass I could see their noses moving, trying to identify the unique smell of the over-sized Chinese Jasmin vine growing in our neighbors yard. It was amazing seeing all surrounding creation worshipping and praising God. I bowed my head and prayed.

Shortly after, Kay arrived home and once again I was overwhelmed with joy. I told her about my day as we gazed at an orange and violet sunset and together we worshiped. Worship happens everywhere. Now I’ve learned that song, prayer, reading of The Word, fellowshipping, and just stopping to reflect and appreciate God’s creations are all methods of worship. I want to leave you with the following verse from 1 Chronicles 16: 23-31. I hope you all have a blessed week and I urge you to take time this week to just stop, breathe, and recognize God’s creations and how they have been uniquely formed to bring glory to His name. God Bless You.

“Sing to the Lord, all the earth; proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day.  Declare His glory among the nations, His wonders among all peoples.  For the Lord is great and greatly to be praised; He is also to be feared above all gods.  For all the gods of the peoples are idols, But the Lord made the heavens.  Honor and majesty are before Him; Strength and gladness are in His place.  Give to the Lord, O families of the peoples, Give to the Lord glory and strength.  Give to the Lord the glory due His name; Bring an offering, and come before Him. Oh, worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness!  Tremble before Him, all the earth. The world also is firmly established, It shall not be moved.  Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad; and let them say among the nations, 'The Lord reigns.'"

In His Love,


Garrett Castro

Coffe Hour @ Chicklit Power: April WOW

Less Is More!

Proverbs 17:27

He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy day to you! Thanks for coming back for the conclusion to April’s Words of Wisdom and Weapons of Warfare. I am learning more and more the value of fighting spiritual battles with spiritual weapons! Grab your coffee and come on in for a bit.

So we left off with the truth that knowledge – which is an understanding that comes from reflection and experience – helps us speak more by speaking less and Jesus was the epitome of this example. I’m still weeping tears of joy at how He wrote this through me for such a time as this. Now let’s move on to the second part: “. . . and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.”

Wow, this is like refreshing water for my thirsty soul! I used to wonder what a “calm spirit” looked like, let alone if I would ever have a calm spirit! Oh, Coffee Hour friend, there is such truth in this little nugget here, that "understanding is of a calm spirit." When we are running around, chasing our tails – emotionally and/or physically – that is confusion, not understanding!

Understanding is one of the most quietly powerful weapons of warfare. I know because I have experienced this very truth just recently, and because of all He’s given me to understand, especially through writing the Transform curriculum, I was armed with understanding as I went into what turned out to be a lions’ den; that’s right, lions, plural!

I’ll spare the unnecessary details and just say that I was given the opportunity to remain the most objective person in a situation that turned into a confrontation and an all-out fight between four people. It was one of the ugliest things I had witnessed in quite some time as I watched the enemy get his foot in each of the doors of their hearts. I watched the possibility of immediate resolution fly away higher than a helium balloon let loose by a child. It was almost as if I was watching from a different angle, almost as if I weren’t there.

I’m not trying to freak you out and act like I was a ghost in the process; oh, no, for they each knew I was there and furthermore, He used me to speak just a few words to each of them, including asking the “pastor” who became part of the problem a simple question that was about ten words! For each person involved, I understood where they were coming from, their behavior as well as their point of view and they all had this one thing in common: their flesh/pride.

It filled my heart with sorrow that they couldn’t see it; that I could but they couldn’t. Please don’t misunderstand my understanding for any kind of pride – I constantly stand guard against that monkey to keep it off my back – but I experienced this Godly sorrow that each of them had been deceived into adding to the problem instead of becoming part of the solution.

But the calm spirit was the gift He gave me to reward me for my digging for understanding and now I’m left to pray that one day, they would be granted not necessarily my understanding but their own given to them by the Father of a calm spirit, the Author of Understanding . . .

Oh, I’m so thankful for the gift of grace that grants us understanding despite us! I pray that He would grant you a knowledge that allows you to speak less while offering more, and rewards you with a calm spirit!

In His love,

Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: April WOW

Less Brings More

Proverbs 17:27

He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Wow, it’s that time again, time for our monthly WOW, Words of Wisdom and Weapons of Warfare, and interestingly enough, our words this month come from the book of wisdom, Proverbs. Grab your coffee and come on in.

Kind of funny that last month’s WOW was about our words, and now this month’s Words of Wisdom and Weapons of Warfare are about the same thing. What are you trying to tell me, Abba? :)

I am consistently hearing words to this effect: I never knew anyone who had so much to say! For that reason, saying too much is ALWAYS a temptation for me and I often feel like I need one of those lassos and a professional lasso person to reel in that tongue of mine! Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever said something and then BAM! Just like that, you wish you could take it back? Oh, praise Him for His Love Letters that remind us of His mercies being new every morning; that we can never out-speak the gift of His grace!

So the first part of this verse speaks to knowledge as the key to choosing our words carefully -- "He who has knowledge spares his words" -- so let’s check out something about knowledge because I have a sneaky suspicion we are going to be free from condemnation and quietly convicted from what we learn.

The Hebrew translation is a form of “yada” and means: “to know by observing, by reflecting, and to know by experience.”

Do you see it? This type of knowledge requires observation, reflection and . . . EXPERIENCE! He gives us many opportunities to “practice” this kind of wisdom, this choosing our words sparingly. When I think of some of the most powerful lessons that Jesus Himself taught, less was more! Think about it: He didn’t have to throw up on everyone verbally to get His point across!

And when He went to the cross, His last ten words were so powerful they echo in all of our lives today, reminding us of the gift of grace given to us that must be given to others: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do!” (Luke 23:34)

Out of all He could have said before He surrendered to the punishment for all our sins – He could have defended Himself; He could have told God every reason why He didn’t want to go through with it; He could have pointed to the ones who beat Him and given them a what-for, or to those who held His “trial"; He could have finally defended Himself, but no, He left us with His heart, focused on us and not Himself.

I had no idea this WOW was going to take this turn; I had another direction in mind! I have goose bumps as I realize what week this is: Easter, just days before He was crucified for our sins, the time where He paid for every stupid and unkind thing I’ve ever said!

Oh how sovereign He is to be the one who lassos my fingers and tongue, redirecting my focus before I write for you. Join me tomorrow for the conclusion of our April WOW!

In His grip,

Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Loving the Unlovable

Loving the Unlovable-Step 10

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Ah, it’s so good to be sharing this time with you. I can’t believe this is the last of this series. I’ve so enjoyed sharing some of my innermost feelings as they relate to loving the unlovable and/or difficult people in our lives. I hope you had a chance to write the three things that you feel you are missing from the first person on your list. Grab your coffee and come on in for the rest of Step 10.

We have almost completed this process, at least for our first person. Picture a package wrapped with pretty paper. What is it missing? The bow, the finishing touches that make the package look even more beautiful. For us ladies, it’s all about the packaging, right?

It’s funny; as I was rewriting this series, and in this very moment of concluding with this step, I was suffering from an emotional hangover after a blowup with my husband. It’s amazing how that guy jumps on and off my list! :) Do you ever have that happen to you? I guess it’s a great reminder that every one of these steps can work as tools for a healthy marriage, too, at least our side of it!
Okay, sorry about that mini detour there.

This final part of Step 10 is rather mind boggling because of its simplicity, and yet, its simplicity casts a brilliant ray of understanding, freeing us from so many things within us. Those things that we feel are missing from the other person can be ours, even with that unlovable/difficult person! Did you notice what you just read? “With” and not “from”! Let me explain this principle inspired by my Courage to Change devotional.

To give what we think we’re missing, we have to become what we want to attract! This is Step 10!

Friend, we don’t need to wait for the unlovable person in our lives to give us these three things that are actual needs within us. We only need to realize that we get back what we give! What we need may not come from that unlovable and/or difficult person we’re dealing with but when we give what we feel we are missing from that person on our list to others, there is this guarantee that comes with it: Others will respond to our changes!

So as I rewind the emotional hangover I’ve felt many times with my husband, this step squeezes my heart with conviction, not condemnation but conviction. I usually want understanding and affirmation and respect from him and when I’m demanding of these things, I, in no way, show him any of these things that I need!

Looking back to the three things I needed from my mom, laughter, kindness and understanding, I can’t help but get goose bumps from the inside out as my needs collide with the revelation of giving what I’m wanting!

I’d like to say I guarantee that your unlovable will change, but that would be a false proclamation and contradict every step we’ve walked through. We can’t change anyone but ourselves. When we continue to stay in our lane, and in our own emotional car, there are a few really good side effects that follow, the first of which is better self-esteem. That one side effect alone can aid in the unpacking process as well as keeping the emotional trunk clean.

I can share, however, that I did have a happy ending with
the one who God used to write these ten steps: my biological                                My mom whom I
mother who as you read this is dancing up in heaven and waiting                    learned to love with all
for me! Oh, how I love and miss her!                                                                           my heart

Fellow sojourner, let’s commit to practicing these ten steps together. The very worst that will happen is that you and I will become someone we want to be, someone we learn to love as He loves us. Thanks so much for walking through this series with me. You have no idea how you’ve blessed me.


Loving the unlovable,

Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Monday Manna

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy Monday Manna,

I hope you all had a blessed weekend. This is a very exciting month; with Easter and Passover quickly approaching, we are reminded of the true meaning of Passover and how it correlates with scriptures within both the Old and New Testament. The first Passover, which occurred in Egypt, required the sacrifice of an “unblemished” lamb or goat. Then, the blood of this lamb or goat was to be spread over the doorpost of the homes of the Israelites and it was to go from side to side as well as up and down, symbolic of the cross! The sacrifice that was provided by the Israelites replaced the sacrifice that would have been made of the first-born son in each household. God commanded Aron and Moses to instruct the people that Passover would not only be celebrated in Egypt, but would also be celebrated in the Promised Land.

Throughout the book of Leviticus we find that Levitical Law required that five major sacrifices were to be made to Yahweh- the burnt offering, grain offering, peace offering, sin offering, and guilt offerings. All offerings consisted of the sacrificial slaughter of an animal, with the exception of the grain offering. The disposition between these five major sacrifices varied depending upon their intended purpose, and through the Levitical Law, the Israelites had the ability to consecrate themselves before God through sacrifice.

Although each offering represented an integral component of the sacrificial covenant, the Peace Offering represented the fellowship that existed, and continues to exist, between Yahweh and His chosen people. Isaiah 54:10 reminds us “'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you.” The abounding Love and grace that comes from our Father is so enormous that His creation of a new covenant would remove the sacrificial atonement for the substitution of sin.

“Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me, nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). This was Jesus' prayer to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemene, hours before His arrest. Jesus knew that the cross would set us free from our sins, and He was one hundred percent man and one hundred percent God. Knowing the pain and suffering that was to come, He still followed the perfect will of the Father and because of the living sacrifice that was made at Calvary, we have been freed from the bondage of sin! There is no need for substitution atonement, since we have been paid for in full. Paid for in full…that’s heavy stuff!

This Easter and Passover, let’s remember the victory that was made on the cross. Jesus Christ is our new covenant and His blood covers each and every one of us who is saved. Through faith in grace we have been “Paid for in full;” we are no longer prisoners to sin and let the heavens rejoice! This Easter Sunday let’s remember the gift that was provided to us through the blood of Jesus Christ. May God Bless Each and Every One You!

In His Love,


Garrett Castro
P.S. Join Steve & Evinda at 1:00 for more relationship truths that will help transform your relationship! Click on this link to join or listen at your convenience. www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Power Friday!

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Power Friday!

Thanks for joining me this spring day for a little power thought! Grab your coffee and come on in for a few minutes so I can share a mini download with you that I pray will encourage and equip you in your every tomorrow!

This power thought came as I was working on the curriculum for our Transform Trench Class, an In-Depth Study of the Eight Roots to Any Hurt, Habit and Hang-up! I was actually working on the root of rage, and had been given some amazing revelations about the power of this root and its genesis.

Anyway, one of the questions in the symptom assessment asks “Are you angry at God?” Wow, don’t we all know someone who is? Life keeps happening on life’s terms and there is so much that happens that we don’t/can’t understand, but it doesn’t change our God and His love for us.
Here’s the power thought that I pray will comfort you in those difficult times when you just don’t understand what in the world He is doing!

 Bad things happen to good people.

It’s what the ‘good’ people do with the ‘bad’ that either makes them bitter or better!

Looking at How He makes bitter better,

Evinda

Cofee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Loving the Unlovable

Loving the Unlovable-Step 10

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

This series is really driving the saying, “Practice makes perfect” home to my heart. I sincerely hope that these ten steps stay with you well beyond our coffee hours. Grab your coffee and come on in. Let’s begin the final step.

Step 10 is powerfully revealing. The funny thing about this step is it really requires us to go back to Step 4 – listing the three adjectives that describe why that person is unlovable and/or difficult, in your opinion – and Step 6 – to detach in love. Don’t misunderstand me; all the steps need to be worked through, and more than once. It’s just that these two steps work like the power tools of all the steps which we can use to accomplish Step 10. I don’t think it was a coincidence, more of a God-incidence that the two super power tools together make up 10. I know I don’t have to tell you what 4+6 equals!

I actually found the frame for this step one morning while reading in my “Courage to Change” book from Al-Anon. I read from this book every morning for a year as I struggled to understand my mom’s disease of alcoholism and her behaviors and attitudes. But more importantly, I was learning how to accept her right where she was, still in her disease. I’d have to admit that it was the first real unpacking of the emotional piece of junk: the delusion of being in control and trying to control others!

Anyway, as I was reading this particular day’s reading, another revelation lit up in my heart and I started putting this step into practice. it came to life within me immediately! I remember quite vividly the confidence that accompanied me in and through this step, the assurance that at least one of the difficult people in my life would be moving off my list soon. It doesn’t matter that there are more people jumping on to my list; that’s a given depending on how much we are out there interacting with others!

So here it is, Step 10: Go back to the first person on your list – go ahead, get your list. You might as well start today! Now, let your thoughts settle on that one person. As you think of talking with that person, ask yourself” What three things do I feel are missing from _________ anytime I talk with them. Go ahead and fill in the name; doing it makes it real!

I’ll go ahead and use my mom as an example for this step. Whenever I would dwell on what I wished could be in our relationship, inevitably I would always go to the ways in which if she would change, what I’d like to have from my mom. I imagined what it would be like to laugh more with her, to receive kindness more often and a big cupful of understanding too. These were the three things that I felt she failed to give me whenever we did talk and I felt down in the very core of my heart that if I experienced these things from her and with her, we would have a healthier relationship.

Let’s take the time to write those three things now. The realization will be so much more powerful if you do; I promise! Remember, these are things you would like to have from this person.

Learning with you,





Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Loving the Unlovable

Loving the Unlovable-Step 9

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for inviting me into your coffee hour and back into this series. It’s been years since I first wrote these steps, and yet, they still seem so new, so foreign to this tent of flesh! I love how they are all coming back to life within me, and I pray they are coming to life within you! The fact that He has allowed me to share them with you squeezes my heart! Grab your coffee and let’s get to Step 9!

Ah, as I look at this step, and remember, the memory takes my breath away. And though the incident happened a long time ago, and was the inspiration for Step 9, I remember it with such vividness that it could have happened yesterday! See, I shared this amazing moment with three people who were actually on my list in the beginning of this process all those years ago. And I know I was on theirs! :) What we shared makes this step ring so clear and true. This experience couldn’t have taken place without living these truths that sparkle more brilliantly through real-life experiences.

For several years prior, I had longed for a relationship with all three of them, despite the unfortunate history riddled with pain and differences that each of us brought to the table. Looking back at the process with them, I can now see that because we had detached in love and were each working on ourselves, instead of trying to fix each other, we were moving closer and closer to a healthy relationship. Each of us recognized our need for the love and grace of God in our own lives, and all of this led us to this beautiful sunny afternoon.

We were all outside talking. I would have loved to be inside the mind of the people who passed by while we were laughing and sharing stories out in the driveway, as though we had never gone through all the pain we had endured. Our joy was shining through all the animation. It was a conversation that we all participated in, leaving no one out. As I got ready to leave, I asked if we could all pray together. They agreed. We all scooted in together closer and for a moment we rested in the sounds of creation, the leaves rustling on the trees, the birds in the air, and then we each bowed our head as if we did this all the time.

Without going into the specifics of what we were praying about, let me just tell you that our hearts joined in one accord as our arms came around one another and tied us together in a beautiful Christ-centered knot of prayer! All of these steps we’ve talked about up to this point made the moment we shared a possibility!

Step 9 is simply this: Pray for them. After all, you never know when you’re going to pray with them! You may be asking, “How do I pray for them?” Well, what we don’t do is give God a “to-do list” of all the changes He needs to make in them; but we start by genuinely praying for their well-being. For some of us, that may be close to impossible, which indicates there may be some bitterness, envy, et cetera you’re hanging on to, so begin by asking Him to help you let go (Step 7) of anything that is preventing you from genuinely praying for their well-being. If we hold on to anything negative as it pertains to that unlovable/difficult person, love will not be able to flow through. It’s kind of like a clogged pipe. If you try to do Step 9 before Step 7, you’re going to get stuck.

Oh, that we would remain conduits, free of any clogs in our hearts, junk in our trunk, making loving the unlovable a reality, not just a possibility!

His conduit,

Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Loving the Unlovable

Loving the Unlovable-Step 8

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thank you for coming to Coffee Hour today. I am blessed beyond comprehension sometimes when I sit and think about all this series means to me personally and to the ministry. I truly thank Him for providing this platform to share and learn together ways to extend grace to those unlovable people in our lives. Grab your coffee and come on in.

Before we move to Step 8, I wanted to share with you that I did write my mom that letter of apology for my disrespectful attitude. I made an emotional deposit by practicing Step 7, and I admitted to her in that letter that I needed to get better at accepting her for who she is. It was a huge bite of humble pie to swallow, but I must admit, the aftertaste and effects have been so good to my heart!

I don’t know about you, but I am definitely ready for Step 8, which is simple: Review, Remind and Rewind! It’s time to go back through the steps and make sure we’re not missing anything. For those of us who have more than one person on our list, we get more practice and we can actually multi-task as we go to the next person on our list; therefore, it will be a review for the first person on our list. I hope that was clearer than mud! :)

So let’s review, remind and rewind: Make a list. Keep in mind that the list continues to change as people come in and out of your life. At the time I wrote this series, I felt as though my top two were fairly stationary so this review was extra powerful for me.

For each one on the list, write three adjectives that best describe why that person is difficult and/or unlovable, in your opinion. At this point in these steps, I still had no clue how infected I was with what I term the relationship infection, aka as co-dependency. I think that revelation makes this step even more valuable as it reveals that for years, in trying to have a relationship with her, my focus was on her attitudes and actions instead of my own. Don’t stunt your own

growth by not completing this step; it reveals so much. But remember, only do it for one person at a time!

Share your list with someone you trust and respect. If you are having trouble finding someone, look up! He’d love to be your accountability partner.

Now go back to that first person on your list and look at the three adjectives. Ask yourself: “Have I ever been ____________ or ______________ or _______________? Do you see you staring back at
you when you fill in these blanks and think of your unlovable? Do you believe      My mom whom
that that person is even more unlovable when you’re acting just like them?            I learned to love
Oh, this truth shines as brightly today in my heart as it did all those years ago       with all my heart!
when I wrote this series! Remember, these adjectives we believe describe our
unlovable people are actually symptoms of something deeper, usually something
we can’t see.

Send her, or him, a card with some sort of positive message, with NO expectations. Your gesture will begin the planting process. When you plant a garden, you don’t stand there nonstop and wait for the seeds to grow, right? (At least I hope not!  ) Do go back and water the seed, though, by sending another card, a text message or even a Facebook message. We have so many tools available to us today to put a smile in someone’s day!

Detach from the unlovable . . . without attitude! Separate those adjectives you used to describe them and picture them without those! In other words, in my situation, I had to separate alcoholism, the disease, from my mom, the diseased. Do you realize that Jesus separates our sin from us? When we accept Him into our hearts and lives, and continue to seek Him for that grace, He sees us without our junk! Be sure that you don’t just shut down emotionally when you detach! Keep your whole self in!

Let go and let God. If you are hanging on to anger, frustration or any other negative emotion that rises to the forefront of your mind and heart when you think of this person, let it go. Ask God to take it. Then, and only then, will you be free and able to accept them for who they are. Remember, respect is letting someone be who they are! Accept the truth that it won’t be you who changes them. When we let go and let God, we begin to change.

Did you know that part of our self-worth comes from how we love the unlovable? Remember, the journey is every bit as important as the destination!

That was a lot to think about, and most likely very noteworthy. Spend some time journaling the journey . . .


Evinda