Faith Filled Friday

Good day everyone! Hope everyone had a great Independence Day and ate some good food as well took in some incredible fireworks. We are truly blessed to live in this nation despite all the things going on. This brings me to my thoughts...

Would we as a society have so much to complain about if instead we were a nation of completely content people? After being around the world and back in the military and traveling some afterward I have seen just how much we have compared to others. It just really makes me sad for us to not appreciate these things. We don't tend to focus on the things we have; instead we focus on what others have. It’s the same thing when others do things that hurt us…intentionally or not. 

Years ago when I was a teenager in the system, my counselor once said to me: "John perhaps they did do these things wrong to you, but did that give you the right to respond in the way you did? Are they responsible for your actions?"  Over the years that has stuck with me. It really stuck out to me when I was told by a person very close to me: "I'm not responsible for your emotions or feelings." I felt they said it in a way that gave them a free pass for how they had acted and treated me, but they are not directly responsible. God gave us feelings. We can hurt people physically and we can hurt them emotionally. So in a sense I do feel we are responsible for how we make people feel on the inside; however, we are not responsible for how they act out with those emotions. 

God wants us to feel free and happy. No matter how many times we have done wrong...God still believes in us and continues to give us opportunities to do the right thing. I know I often let Him down but I am so happy that someone has the time to love and appreciate me in this life like that. I have not found it in people, though I have sought it, someone to love me for me. What a precious priceless gift.

Concentrating on being content has helped me take the stand in observing myself with bringing peace to anger, understanding to confusion, a warm light to a cold darkness. It is incredibly difficult but there is truly so much good feeling in it when we are there. Things of course will never be perfect but we must sort through the day-to-ay stresses of life. We must sort through the heartbreak and let go of it. It's hard to let go of such things because sometimes letting go takes practice; it takes time. It is a choice. If we rebound too quickly, do we really learn and appreciate the struggle? Oh, yes, contentment itself requires a good amount of patience, practice and prayer.

 We write our own sentences in life, but God can put the punctuation on the end of the sentence. When enough sentences are gathered, we have what we call our very life... our story. Just as a soldier enjoys living through the battle, he also sees the war ahead still goes on. 

Contentment: Absorb it. Let it fill you. Let it put you in check to help you realize that God is beside you as if carrying a flag in support of you.

Last time I wrote I spoke of the little things... Did any of you identify with some of them? I challenge you to find appreciate and contentment in your hunt to discover those small things. I can't speak for others but I can for myself and I know one thing beyond any other... I want to live with the ability to notice the small things, for it’s all the small things that work together to bring contentment. Besides, what’s small to me may be someone else’s big blessing! Join me next week as I share about doing a small thing that became somebody’s big source of encouragement!

Anyhow, much love everyone... May you have a great week until I catch you next time!

~John Tam

Wednesday's Word

It’s Wednesday…all ready! Last week, I left off in a very difficult moment, if you will, and sort of left you hanging as far as the revelations I received shortly after having my fit and falling in it! Well, grab your beverage for a little break, and your strand of faith, and let’s go ties some knots in these truths I’m about to share that were revealed to me from our loving Father, our First Husband. (If you’re joining us for the first time, you may want to check out last Wednesday’s Word to catch up so what you read today makes more sense.) ☺

So the morning after having my fit and falling in it, I was having my usual quiet time with God…and another revelation hit me like a ton of bricks, which is the way He has to hit me; otherwise, I may not hear it! ☺

My earnest prayer about this whole season, which is going on 18 months – did I just say that? – has been for God to change me, reveal to me ways I can be better. And I don’t tell you this to make myself look better, but to share with you that I’ve seen some ugly resentment come to the surface of my heart more often than is spiritually healthy. See, what is in the heart comes out the lips, so I’m consistently asking Him to work like a gentle sweeper, ushering that resentment away, but we all know a sweeper doesn’t always get it all and any tiny thing can bring it back and make the dusty resentment reappear.

It was in this particular morning of praying for Him to once again, for probably the hundredth time, to sweep away resentment that had snuck its way into the corners of my heart, and re-asking Him for forgiveness for having my fit and falling in it the day before that with the swish of the broom He reminded me: Just as I loved you through your fit, so you must love your husband through this season of unemployment…unchanging…unconditionally…until death do you part! 

I felt the aftershocks of a gentle sucker punch right into heart, and there I sat, connected to my Savior through the conviction of my soul, assured of His grace, strengthened by His promise that I didn’t have to do this alone. 

Sure, I could stay focused in my husband’s lane of unemployment, and keep asking God to just get him a J-0-B, but instead, I must choose to stay in my own car and in my own lane so as not to cause an emotional wreck within our home, or anywhere else for that matter. I must trust that in HIS time, after we have both learned what we need to learn, that God will restore what the locusts have stolen, (Joel 2:25) and in the meantime...we wait. Psalm 27:14 tells me to wait on Him and He will strengthen my heart. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 40:31. There’s a reason God used an eagle in this promise. I can either wait like an ugly angry crow by trying to force things and stir up dissention and create all kinds of conflict, or fly on winds of an eagle as I hope and wait on the Lord…for better or for worse!

Join us tomorrow for a special invitation!

Love,

Evinda 

Jenn's Journey

Good morning! Thanks for joining me and reading my thoughts. I hope your few minutes here, with a cup of your favorite drink, is relaxing and inspirational!

Last week we celebrated our country's freedom. It's easy to get caught up in enjoying a long weekend without taking time to think what it means to live where we do. I admit that I take it for granted sometimes. Our country was built on the idea of God's freedom and grace for all people. 

Freedom: 'The state of being free". Free:"Enjoying personal liberty.” Liberty: "Freedom from bondage, captivity, restraint." 

When you look at those words, how does it make you feel? What do you think about when you think of being free? Being free from bondage is what jumps out at me. That word actually makes my stomach tighten. I looked that word up too, and the definition of bondage is "involuntary servitude." 

Much of my recent journey involves changing my thought patterns, and challenging the ways I've believed much of my life. In last week's blog, I shared that I've listened to 'unsafe' people's opinions for far too long. What we tell our minds is a form of bondage, if you honestly think about it. We can keep ourselves locked in toxic relationships, unhealthy eating patterns, or ways of dealing with stress…all by what we say to ourselves. Sometimes, merely being a Christian gives us more ammunition to beat up on self through not meeting expectations of others in the church or worse yet, what we believe God thinks of us.

Romans 8:1-2 states, "Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Him the law of the Spirit of life set me FREE from the law of sin" Read that again…NO Condemnation. If He is not condemning me, why am I? And furthermore, why do I condemn others? 

True freedom comes from realizing the Grace that God gives us…allowing that to seep into our very souls. Once we have that, we can give that grace back to those around us. I truly believe God is waiting for His children to show this to the world…and it starts in our own minds.

Until next week, be blessed, 

Jenn

Power Friday

Welcome to Coffee Hour! I don’t know about you, but I’m so glad it’s Friday! Grab something refreshing and come on in for what I’ll call a Power Friday, a quick thought to encourage you in your journey.

So if you read my blog Wednesday, you may get the idea that I’m having a difficult time. Why do you think it’s not okay to say that? It’s crazy that we hesitate to share our struggles, especially within the church, for fear of being labeled as one who doesn’t pray enough, or have enough faith. You know what I’m talking about?

Anyway, I guess He made me transparent to encourage others to share their burdens and yet, we cannot focus on our burdens because when we do that, we tend to maximize our problem and minimize our Problem Solver! So with that in mind, here’s a power thought to chew on for the weekend, one that I pray will help you rethink what you focus on:

We minimize God when we maximize our struggles!

Have a great weekend

Evinda

Wednesday's Word

For Better or for Worse…

Hosea 2:19-20 “I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in loving kindness and mercy; ²⁰ I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, and you shall know the Lord.

Wow, it’s Wednesday…again! Grab your beverage and your strand of faith (red 1-2 foot strand of yarn) and let’s go tie some knots in our faith.

So how do I do this, share with you one of the darkest places my heart went to in a very, very long time? Well, from my heart, I guess, especially now that it’s beyond it...sort of. ☺ See, I am in a season of marriage that to be honest, most people walk away from, allowing the circumstances to tear them apart, pitting them on opposite sides. I get it now; I’ve gotten a VERY clear picture of how the enemy tries to do this in marriages for I am living it now and have been for quite some time, but I’m not giving the enemy that satisfaction! Come with me to one of my toughest revelations after a very hard day of court reporting.

I walked out of my second deposition for the day, a doctor’s deposition, trying not to cry. I felt like turning in my CSR license; like I had dropped way too much to be considered competent, a good reporter. I got to watch this testosterone contest between the questioning attorney and the doctor who was giving him answers he didn’t like! It was just one of those days, a bad writing day. At the end of the proceeding, one of the attorneys kindly asks: “Can I have a rough draft of this deposition and the one from this morning tomorrow?” “Sure,” I say with an outward smile that didn’t translate within. 

This was truly a financial blessing, but all I could think of is the work I was going to have to do to clean it up in order to send a rough draft, and my carpal tunnel and tendonitis were flaring up and the pain alone was enough to make me cry! 

As soon as my guy saw me, he got out of the car, ready to take my machine for me – he’s sweet like that☺ He had driven me to work in hopes of coming home with a car that was for sale near my first job. As he took my machine and put it in the car, I asked him about the car and held my breath, praying he had finally found one. Nope, it was not to be. He told me the car that was advertised to be in “great condition” was a piece of poop. 

My heart sank to lower depths. I grabbed my laptop from the back and got in, ready to work on the way home, hoping I’d get at least one of the two jobs done by the time we got home. I’m not sure what sent me over the edge: my sheer exhaustion, my dashed pride from expert witnesses who seemed to have no concern for the job I have to do, the bad news of the car which meant we were still down to one car, the computer acting up as I desperately pounded its keys with frustration in an effort not to reach out and lash out verbally or physically to my guy who I was suddenly angry with. Up to this point, for almost 18 months, I’d been letting go of any bitterness and frustration of him being unemployed…daily! I guess everyone has their limits…maybe it was the ghastly combination! 

The more I pounded on the keys the angrier I became. I can’t even describe the feeling that began to course through my very blood that pumps to my heart, but it was an old familiar feeling that hadn’t reared its ugly head for years and years. I could taste the bitter turning to hate…for my husband! What in the world was happening to me? Just when I thought I’d explode with the power of it, he pulled in somewhere to go to the bathroom! Oh, God is so good, protecting me from myself. ☺ ☺  

That car door wasn’t even shut and the tears began pouring out. I began to give God a what-for and a how-could-you and a why-can’t-you just get him a job? I didn’t plan it like this, Lord, How am I supposed to do ministry, and work nearly full-time? It felt so good to get it out, but as soon as I noticed George coming out of the bathroom, I began scrambling for more napkins because I was a snotty mess. My chaotic cries of confusion were now filled with Godly sorrow as I realized where my soul was…in the gutter of defeat and victimization. I continued to cry ever so quietly, trying desperately to catch the snotty mixed tears in my one little napkin before they fell on my computer and short-circuited it. Then I’d really be in a mess!

I know he saw my tear-stained face, had to have seen me trying to discreetly wipe at my snotty nose, but he didn’t know what to do so like most guys, he did nothing! ☹ I could go off on another tangent here, but I won’t.  Suffice it to say that my guy has not learned the art of comforting…and I definitely don’t make it easy. I mean, who wants to wrap their arms around a porky pine or a skunk giving off a horrible odor for that matter? 

He just began to drive as if he hadn’t noticed and I returned to my computer, a bit calmer, oddly enough. What’s really weird is I know my Heavenly Father loved me no less in that fit I was having.

Let’s push the pause button right here: See, this is where faith meets covenant, where love becomes a choice, a verb, not a feeling. Unfortunately this is when most people climb out, or run out of the confines and parameters of covenant, because it’s too hard, they’re not happy, this isn’t what they signed up for. Oh, friend, can I tell you, God isn’t after your happiness as much as He is your character. He will relentlessly continue to do what it takes to refine what needs to go. And though it may look like the “other” one is causing your pain, I continue to learn that there’s always something for me as a result of the “other” person’s choices and that’s what I have control over. 

So as we made our way home, I realized down in my gut that we are in one of those seasons of proving our confessions of love entered into almost 12 years ago, a testing of our faith, our commitment to God and then to one another.  I could walk away and forever have regrets because of all I know, and not being able to handle the “worst” part of the vow,  or I could push through, allowing God to be my first husband, connecting me to this man emotionally, physically and spiritually, asking Him to help me love him through this. It’s when we choose to love that revelations come! I’ll share the rest of this next week!

Until then, may you choose to love because of Who first loved you

Evinda 

Jenn's Journey

Happy 4th of July! Hope you are all having a fantastic long weekend. Remember to pray for this country of ours. We are celebrating living in a free country while behind the scenes freedoms are being taken away! Sit, have a cup of tea or coffee and take a few minutes with me.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." 1st Thessalonians 5:11

I have the privilege of having a group of women friends who are very good at encouraging and building each other up. We have a running private conversation on FB where we are free to be ourselves and share our joys, hurts, prayer requests…pretty much anything we want. There is no judgment, no dismissive comments. I've learned much from these friends. 

A friend sent me a blog that contained a list called "The Safety Sorter" which details emotionally safe and unsafe persons we come in contact with. This list was compiled by a lady named Cheri Gregory. A 'safe' person inspires, encourages, notices, listens, understands, and accepts. The message that type of person sends is “You're invaluable"; "You're worth knowing."

On the flip side, an 'unsafe person' presumes, dismisses, neglects, blames, shames and punishes. The loud and clear message from this is: "If you changed, things would be better for everyone." or "Who you are is unacceptable."

I recognized, as I am sure many of you do, that I have had too many of the unsafe types in my life.  I am now much more selective about who I let in. For a long time, I bought into the messages from the unsafe types. Thank God He has sent encouragers as well…and might I add, opened my eyes to see the positive more than the negative. 

It feels amazing to be accepted as we are, doesn't it? While at first I looked at this list and let my mind wander over who may be safe, or unsafe, I had to then ask myself: Which one am I? Am I safe or unsafe? I bet I've been both, because let's face it, sometimes it's hard to encourage someone when you can see better options for them. 

God is the ultimate encourager.  His voice is the one we should be listening for and to for directions. He has only good to say about us, about me! When that is embedded into our hearts, we'll be able to pass that on to those around us. We won't have time to point fingers or put down others. What a beautiful world that would be.

Until next week, be blessed, 

Jenn

Faith Filled Fridays

Thanks for joining us for another Faith-Filled Friday! I love reading this guy’s heart! I’m sure you will too! Enjoy!

What warms a heart? Most of us would think that this job falls to the very blood that flows through us. Miraculously and thankfully there is so much more to it than that. When you think about it, it truly is amazing how many things work together to bring warmth and a beating within our chests? Invisible oxygen taken, sorted and grafted by lung to blood, an infrastructure & network of veins and arteries that give direction to and from to the North, South, East & West of the body. How could a God have figured out such a complex puzzle to encapsulate a life... a beating heart? I have always found such beauty in these things... Going deeper... What of choices, memories, emotions, our very souls? Do these not contribute the warmth of a heart as well? 

As far back as I can remember the world was never so black & white to me. I don't tend to find the answers I seek in whether I went left, right, up or down. I have always found a multitude of answers in the feelings that rode the sidelines prior to any outcome. I seek a feeling of warmth in all I do. I want to feel the love in what I do. That takes me back to something I once heard in the military by a hard-nosed Sergeant. He said, “You don't have to like the job you have but you should love the work you do.” I am a firm believer in this. In fact it has become a lifelong motto for me. I found this other world as a child to get lost in. It's called “Small Things”... In the small things I find solace, comfort and warmth in my heart. So much so that I yearn to project it back to the world. 

A life and its heart have so much more warmth & meaning when we tend to inject some form of substance into it. So what is this substance? It’s the small things. What are the things that have escaped your notice? How can you appreciate them if you can't first put eyes on them? I challenge you all to find them, one by one...and appreciate them. In discovering them you will find answers to those unanswered questions within. Let it bring contentment, satisfaction and peace. 

I won't lie, when you choose to live & love this way, it can be quite vulnerable. Does God not want us to not have this substance, this meaning, this feeling, this peace, this 'ALL-IN' kind of love? Because of that vulnerability many stay clear of it... they know not what they are missing. God gave us these things small as they are all accountable to the puzzle that brings warmth to one's heart... 

May love, laughter & even better days be yours...

~John Tam