Embracing Waves of Change

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for joining us for our Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. Oh, my goodness there’s all kinds of changes happening within our ministry; some have been painfully challenging and some have been seemingly easy…but change I know is for our good and His glory. Grab your coffee and your SOF and let’s go talk a bit more about some of the most difficult types of changes.

The third most difficult change is a change in a relationship, such as getting married or a marital separation, or conflict with what was once a good friend or family member. Conflict…hmmm, why do we have to talk about conflict? I hear you asking! Because conflict can bring good change, or bad change, depending upon the way we handle it!

See, conflict is usually because emotions get in the way and cause friction between people. The sad truth is the conflict may have begun over something small but the longer it stays unresolved, the bigger it gets! Often times, conflict sucks the energy right out of us because we conflict over who’s right instead of what’s right!

But let’s, just for a moment, look at the positive side of conflict that we may utilize it to bring positive change in our hearts, our families and our world. Conflict surfaces important problems so they can be addressed. Conflict can also cause us to give careful consideration about important decisions. Conflict can also cause us to reconsider a decision, especially those decisions that were made without thinking or made in the heat of a moment. And finally, conflict provides opportunities for creativity, especially if you are conflicting over truth!

Did you know that there is a win/win solution to conflict? Let me give you the two ways in which both parties can feel a sense of winning in the midst of a conflict and in this way you can both bring about a positive change: Both parties need to recognize that something is wrong without pointing fingers, which requires information gathering before making judgments.  Let me see if I can use this analogy: A treating physician has to do the lab work, assess the medical problem, before coming up with a diagnosis. In other words they don’t just grab some Advil to treat cancer! See, conflict can be like a cancer, poison to the soul and fast-spreading! Stop it in its tracks and take a good look into all sides of it before throwing your hands up and your relationships out! See, not to spiritualize conflict, but listen to what Rom 12:18 says about conflict: If it is possible and to the extent that it depends on you, live at peace with….

The second way to achieve a win/win in the midst of a conflict would be to come together and collaborate ; this forces us to deal with what’s true, not with what’s false, and not that emotions are false, but they certainly are not anything to depend upon, and they most definitely need not be why a relationship is thrown away!

So when conflict threatens to change your relationship(s), remember to strive towards a win/win solution to reach connection so as to not disconnect and bring negative change!

Thanks for joining me for the third toughest change that can truly send us tossing and turning in the sea of life, especially if our well being is a bit too dependent on someone else! Remember, for things to change, I must change and as Mahatma Gandhi says, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world” or in your relationships!

Love,

Evinda

Thanks for joining me for our Coffee Hour today and for the conclusion to Embracing Waves of Change. Grab your journals and your Strand of Faith and let’s go tie some knots in what can be a difficult subject to talk about, let alone live through…
When I was researching the toughest life changes that can sweep us off our feet and land us on our knees, or send us drowning as if in an angry sea, I was overwhelmed by a sense of compassion as I read the first one, and an attitude of gratitude as I read through the rest of them. Though I’ve not endured the first and most difficult of life’s changes, I have come through the rest and I have to say, change changes you…if you let it…for His glory and our good!
Let’s take a look at two of the top 10 changes that can send us tossing and turning like a wave that hits us unexpectedly:

1. Loss of a spouse: Oh, I’ve recently had a very close friend lose her husband to pancreatic cancer…and we lost our precious friend/board member. What a battle he fought, and what a painful battle to watch; one that only time will heal but that the hope and knowledge of heaven can bring her/us through. I love this promise found in Matthew 5:4, a promise that will never bounce or fail: Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted!

Permission to mourn is granted by our Heavenly Father with a promise of comfort!
Let’s look at the next of the toughest life changes:

2. Divorce: Wow, this is a subject we can spend all day on. Divorce is like a death, usually a slow and tortuous one, one that our Father grieves over for it is a ripping/tearing of a covenant. I can speak to this change too well, for I have endured not one…but two of these ugly changes. Were they God’s will? No, it wasn’t His will for divorce but even in the midst of the aftermath, God, in His amazing grace, paints something beautiful out of the pain that comes with this life change, pointing us in a new direction, steering us away from old relational wounds and habits to teach us new and healthy ones so as not to repeat the same relational cycle. Are we willing to learn? There’s a powerful quote by Viktor E. Frankl that goes along with this change that I’d like to share: “When we are no longer to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

And here’s a promise from our Father: Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He WILL make your path straight!
Yes, when things don’t seem to make much sense, and change is tossing you to and fro, lean not on your own understanding, Coffee Hour friend…
Join me tomorrow for Paws for Coffee Hour by Jennifer Wyatt!
Until next week,
Evinda

Jenn's Journey-Thankful even when ... From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Jenn's Journey @Coffee Hour w/Chicklit Power…

Once again, welcome Monday! Here we are, at the start of another week and one that brings us a holiday at that. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, it trumps Christmas for me. Maybe it’s the food, the time off or maybe it’s the company of family and friends. Whatever it is, I am most grateful for this time of year. Pour a cup of coffee, or tea, and join me as I share some of what God put on my heart this week about thankfulness.

The other day I was driving to work after dropping my daughter off at school. I was already running late but had to stop by one office to pick up tools for work at another office. That in itself was causing me anxiety, but at the same time I had a dozen other things flitting through my mind. I had experienced a rather tense time the evening before with one of those ‘difficult’ people in my life. I had let off steam a bit more than I wanted to. I began rehearsing all the little, and big, annoyances in my life. I could feel the tension rise, could feel it even in my breathing. Suddenly, I remembered a song we used to sing at my old church. ‘When praises go up, blessings come down’ is how it begins … so I started singing … loud! I repeated it. You know what? I could feel that ball of anxiety begin to dissolve.

This led me to remember the Bible verse in 1 Thessalonians 5:16: …give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you.”  Really, God? I am supposed to thank you in ALL circumstances? I don’t know about you, but I start to think about some of the circumstances where I’d do anything BUT say thank you. How about going through an ugly divorce? Are we supposed to say thanks then? Or what about the difficult relationship with a co-worker? How can we be thankful if our child turns away from all we have taught him or her? How about when there is more month than money; am I really expected to say thank you?

According to what God says, yes. Why? Because this is His will for us.

This same day, I heard a blurb on the radio by a pastor, who said that the trials in our lives are opportunities for us to grow in strength in our relationship with God, and that is something to be thankful for. I had an ‘aha’ moment right then…that perhaps it’s not the trial itself that I am thankful for, but for the chance to run to God in that trying time and in so doing, allow Him to use that situation to grow me into what He has planned for me.

There are all kinds of studies that show a thankful heart is a happier heart. This week is all about Thanksgiving. Dig deep; give thanks for something you are struggling with. It could be the very thing God is using to bring you closer to Him. I give you the same challenge I have given myself…to make thankfulness a year- round habit.
Be blessed. Until next week …

Jenn

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Jenn's Journey from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Happy Monday my friends! This month is going by quickly, isn’t it?  This is a busy time of year, so I am extra thankful you are taking time to enjoy a cup of coffee and read some of my thoughts.

My daughter’s class sings a song that says “With Jesus in the vessel we can smile at the storm as we go sailing home.” I don’t know about you, but that visual gives me a glimpse of the peace I have sought for many years. I used to believe that Jesus needed to take away the storm, but my life has taught me He does not always do that. I bet many of you can attest to that as well.

I wrote the following thoughts about three years ago, when the storm of a divorce was quite fresh in my life, and when I re-read it a few days ago, I felt it was the perfect thing to share with you this week. May you smile at the storm today and rest in the fact HE is in the vessel with you!

Today is a beautiful day in S CA.: sunny, warm, calm, much different than the past few days. Wind storms created a lot of havoc. While my area was not hit as hard, there is a lot of cleanup. I went outside to tackle the mounds of leaves and palm fronds, and as I was sweeping, I started to think. Much of life is about cleaning up after a storm, a storm in the physical world or a storm in life… sometimes it comes as a surprise; sometimes we get a warning, but it is a storm nonetheless.

Then I remembered my favorite story in the Bible of Jesus and the storm. Remember how He was fast asleep as it raged around Him, perfectly content, able to rest? His followers, on the other hand, were freaking out, much like I do when I realize a storm has hit my life. They cried out to Him, “Lord, save us!”  [Matthew 14:30] He woke up, held up His hand and said “Peace, be still.” Immediately, the storm subsided and all was calm.

It often feels as if the storm that hit my life two-and-a-half years ago has not subsided. It has not calmed. Yet, I think how many times God has answered my cry, and has calmed ME. I guess that is the secret: He calms me, not necessarily the storm. He gives me the ability to rest, be content, while it rages around me. 

The conclusion I came to, which I have come to many times through my struggles, is that, when a storm hits, I want Jesus in my boat. What about you; are you inviting Him into your vessel to weather the current storm? Have an amazing week.
Until next week,

Jenn

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