Showing posts with label perfectionist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perfectionist. Show all posts

Monday, July 13, 2015

Jenn’s Journey from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...
Good morning everyone! Happy Monday once again. Thank you for stopping by and having a few moments with me. I hope this new week holds some good adventures for you!

Speaking of adventures, I had one this past week. I've talked often here in my blog of being a recovering perfectionist. Life is full of opportunities for improving upon this aspect of my life. I've slowly but surely been practicing letting go of my high expectations, trying to give myself credit for the things I do right.

Back to my adventure. I promised to check on my parents’ home while they are out of town, to water their indoor plants and make sure all is in order. They live about 45 miles away, so it's a bit of a drive. I planned out my week; notice how I say, 'planned,’ figuring that Tuesday was the best day for this trip. I prepared my daughter for the excursion, promising a treat for both of us and charged up her DVD player. She let it be known this was not how she wanted to spend her day…but I assured her we'd have fun and make some memories along the way.

For once, we sailed right up the hill with no traffic and pulled into the driveway. I stepped out of the car, and with a sudden sinking feeling, realized I had the wrong set of keys with me. The house key to my parents’ house dangled safely from its hook 45 minutes away. Normally, this would really set me off, either I'd be mad, or be in tears. Instead, I laughed.
If you know me, you probably have your chin on the floor right now. My daughter asked me "Mom, what is so funny?" I told her the situation and she just looked at me, standing there, in the driveway, laughing. I explained that we would go to the backyard, pick the plums as promised and then we'd go get some lunch and take go to the park.
We did just that. You know what? We had fun!  I didn't spend time beating myself up for this mistake. I was able to stay in the moment, and make some memories with my girl.
To some, this would seem a small thing. To me, it is huge.  The still small voice of God says "Jenn, slow down; enjoy what is around you. I will help you handle whatever the day throws at you" Oh, may I count on Him more.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13

Until next week, be blessed.
JennJenn

Monday, June 8, 2015

Jenn’s Journey from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...
Good morning! Welcome back! Have you seen the quote that says "What messes us up most in life is the picture in our heads of how it is supposed to be"? Have you caught yourself upset because things just didn't go how you thought they would? Grab your cup of coffee and let's talk about that for a few minutes.

I am a recovering perfectionist. There! I've said it. I recently said this to a group of moms as we were working on our kid's scrapbooks at school. These books are a collection of memories of Kindergarten and we get to work on them at our leisure. It's been interesting to me to see all the different styles, some elaborate, some simple. My book is on the simple side, but I am pleased with how it has turned out. I've listened in as many of the other ladies compare themselves and their work, thus, the conversation that led me to make my statement.
I get hung up very easily on being perfect in other areas, however. I like my house to be perfectly clean, and the clothes to be hung and folded perfectly, the dishes done, the yard to be...well, you get the picture. This perfection has spilled over to how I view myself. As I've gotten older I accept my looks and weight better than in the past but now it's my personality and flaws that I have a hard time accepting.

I was talking to my cousin recently and I got very real with her. I said that I am really tired of being the one to recognize my flaws, to always be a work in progress, to be the one to change… and, I said, honestly, I want someone else to be at fault. Her response? "Yep. So you can be...’Perfect’! Ouch. I guess I have to own that.

I suppose this tendency is a result of sin and selfishness. If we look around, it doesn't take long to recognize this blame shifting is everywhere. Very few people take responsibility for what they do or say; there is almost always an excuse. What is at the bottom of this? Could it be that to own a wrong is to admit less than perfection?

As a Christian, I have to let go of perfection. It does not exist in a mere mortal like me.  I have to accept that I have never made a perfect choice, or been a perfect mother, daughter, sister, ex-wife or girlfriend. It's okay to admit this. God has me covered. He has us all covered. If I let that really sink in, it's a relief. You know why? It's tiring to keep up the pretense! I can let go. What does God say to me? In 2 Corinthians 12:9 He says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
I see this as a process that God is leading me in…and though I am not "perfect" at letting it go, He is right there with me reminding me that though I am weak, He is strong. I pray that I can boast more gladly in my weaknesses.
Until next week, be blessed,
JennJenn