Freedom Fridays

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and our Freedom Friday’s series! Grab your coffee and your strand of faith because I’m certain you will tie a couple of knots in your SOF as you relate with Jennifer’s words from her heart to yours!

My post last week made me think of the story of the woman with the issue of internal bleeding found in Mark5:24–34 and Luke 8:42–48. I decided to research her and discovered much about her freedom journey.

First of all, she had a bleeding condition that had continued for twelve years. Could you even begin to imagine? She had spent all her money on treatments from many doctors, but still she continued to bleed, and even worse than before! (See Mark 5:25–26).

To make matters even worse, Jewish Law declared her to be ceremonially unclean due to her bleeding issue (Leviticus 15:25-27). This meant that she would not have been permitted to enter the temple for Jewish religious ceremonies. Why? Because according to the law, anything or anyone she touched became unclean. So she was physically ill, and I can only imagine how she felt spiritually and emotionally. Because of her illness she was in isolation which is a form of persecution. Talk about all kinds of bondage?!

I share that so you understand the significance of her walking around in a huge crowd making her way toward Jesus. See, the fact that she was in the crowd pressing around Jesus means that each person who bumped into her would have become unclean, including Jesus! (The punishment for being unclean from an issue of blood was a sacrifice of a lamb)

She was desperate for a miracle. “When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind Him in the crowd and touched His cloak, because she thought, ‘If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.’” (Mark 5:27–28)  Oh, to have a faith like that!

As soon as the woman touches the hem of His robe, her bleeding stops and she knows she’s been healed. Jesus does what no doctor in twelve years had been able to do; He heals her!

But let’s get a bit deeper into the story.

Jesus responds, “Who touched my clothes?” (Mark 5:30). The disciples were skeptical, but Jesus knew that healing power had gone out of Him.

After the woman comes forward and explains herself, Jesus clears up any misconceptions about her healing, saying, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” (Mark 5:34)

Her desire to be free from her affliction helped her push past the social, personal, emotional, spiritual and financial constraints.  She knew that Jesus would heal her and Jesus acted on her faith.  She had suffered twelve years of isolation – away from family and friends – and now she could walk beside them.

How many of us feel like this?  Isolated because of what has happened to us.  We don’t want to come forward because it might be embarrassing or make us feel vulnerable.  We don’t have to suffer in silence; we do need to take a risk.  Risk can bring healing into our lives, and help us to walk in freedom.

For me it wasn’t an issue of blood – it was rape, molestation, infidelity, drugs….the list could go on.  Freedom was taking a step towards Jesus and finding the healing that my isolated soul craved. 

What do you need healing from?  What has had you isolated?  Press into Jesus…He can feel you in a crowded room.

Jennifer

Wednesday’s Word

Less is more!

Thanks for joining me today for Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and Wednesday’s Word! I pray that you will find something applicable for your faith journey and be able to tie a couple of knots in your strand of faith!

Have you ever put too much of something into something? Come with me to my morning routine after waking up to a new day.

I sleepily walked toward the coffee pot, turned it on, and waited for it to preheat the water. I began to go through my ritual – grab for my multi-vitamin and a couple of other supplements, get my glass of water, drink them down and chew on a vitamin C for good measure. I reached into the refrigerator to grab my almond butter, turned and felt it slipping out of my hand because the oil was slithering out of the loose lid!! Ugh! I hate that slimy feeling!

My brain turned into alert mode as I realized I needed to stir it all up so it was edible, well almost edible. Have you ever noticed how bland almond butter can be?

I reached for my sea salt and tipped it into the almond butter. Out it came, kerplunk! Instantly my heart skipped a beat as I realized what I had just done: Poured way, way, way too much salt in my $14 brand new container of almond butter!

I think I stared at it for a few moments in utter disbelief and the phrase “Oh, no you didn’t” danced across my thoughts is a sort of smiling frustrated way. And then as if in auto pilot, instead of scooping some of the salt out, I began to stir it all in!

Strike 2!

As I stirred rigorously for several minutes, I kept telling myself it will be fine; it will not be too salty. I played stir and taste for ten minutes, finally coming to the conclusion that I had indeed ruined this jar of almond butter. It was grossly over-salted.

The next thought went like this: But….there was/is a solution: I could go buy another jar and combine them so as to not count it a total loss.

This over-salting got me to thinking about life and how the same concept applies: Less is truly more. How many times have I tried to make a point by saying too much? Has that ever happened to you? I know several times I’ve had people come up to me and virtually verbally vomit on me what must have been everything they were thinking and I walk away wondering, what just happened? I think it’s referred to as having no filter.

I think it bothers me even more because I used to be just like that and I still catch myself every now and again speaking without a filter, adding too much salt.

How many times have I tried to resolve conflict but only wind up creating a bigger conflict because I said too much…all because I wanted to be heard, to be understood? 

The same is true when trying to share our faith with one who is skeptical or with a person who is seeking for purpose and understanding in this life. He must increase and I must decrease (John 3:30) so that our salt isn’t too salty! In Matthew 4,verse 13, Jesus tells us that we are the salt of the earth, in other words we are not to blend in with everyone else. Christianity is one of many flavors of the world but sometimes we can be over-zealous in our opinions and over-salt our opinions!

Just like adding too much salt in my almond butter requires that I add more almond butter, so it is when we begin to over-salt a conversation with our opinions and need to be heard. There is a solution: We must decrease so He can increase; otherwise, we can get this word picture of saying so much that the one listening literally covers their ears begging you to stop while chanting la-la, la-la, la, la-la.

Whether it be sharing our faith, or trying to resolve a conflict, and/or even in general conversation, could it be that a little flavor will go a longer way and too much will send them away? When I think of all the healings that Jesus performed, He said little; in fact, His actions were the true salt!

Learning to decrease that He may increase

Evinda 

Jenn’s Journey

Happy Monday! Welcome to a new week and thank you for joining me today.

Last week I wrote about empathy and reality. This topic has been on my mind recently, not only because it seems I've heard a lot about it, but because learning the balance is an integral part of my journey.

If you've followed my blogs, you know I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for ten years. I was verbally attacked on every level, and I lost a lot of myself during that time. Though I've been out of that for seven years, the healing is a long process. I've done a lot of work in therapy and relationship classes trying to understand what drew me to a person like that in the first place. I've come to realize that my tendency to be a pleaser in relationships is an important piece of the puzzle. I suppose some of that is related to being the oldest child; we tend to want to tow the line, so to speak. And then some of it is because somehow I internalized the message that I was responsible for others' emotions and/or behaviors. 

The Christian message of turning the other cheek and putting others ahead of self has played a large part. It seems that society socializes women to be nice, to submit and even to give up part of self all to keep others happy.

Over the years, I've had many experiences where I ignored what my gut was telling me in an effort to be nice. This angers me. I am no longer content living in this manner.  A situation came up two weeks ago that was a light bulb moment for me. I hope it shines brightly in your life as well.

Every week at church, there is a security guard who stands outside greeting people. Everyone says hi to him. He's a gregarious sort of guy, tells jokes to the kids and helps old ladies up the stairs. As I walked up, out of the blue, he said to me, "You know, I never get a hug from you. Could I have a hug?"

Immediately I felt uncomfortable. It felt sort of out of place and unnecessary; however, I grudgingly gave him a quick hug. The thoughts I had went by in a flash, but I remember them. I wanted to say NO, but didn't know how. I felt pressured to give him the hug; after all I was at church and aren't we supposed to present as loving Christians? I wanted to appear 'nice'. UGH.

Though this is a relatively harmless example, I cannot get it out of my head. I am both mad at myself and irritated that he thought this was an okay request and yet, I might stop and think, what moment in the past is colliding with now, reminding me of other times I was unable to say no?

 I cannot change the fact that there will always be people who expect more from me than I am willing to give but I can change how I respond.

It is fine to have empathy for another person, but the reality is that each person is responsible for their own behavior, needs and wants. I need to listen to my gut, and find my voice. I believe that God is leading me towards a healthier way of living my life and that He will guide me on the path.

I share this because I know many of you can relate. Perhaps you too need to find your voice. I encourage you to join me in that journey.

Until next week, be blessed,

Jenn

Freedom Fridays

It’s Freedom Friday! Grab whatever you’re having for break, and don’t forget your SOF (Strand of Faith!) We have some more knots to tie to stay stronger in our freedom journey!

What if it isn’t what you think it is?

This sounds like a lofty statement, something you may hear from a professor in a college class.  Part of the freedom journey is learning to see things through new lenses, really trying to understand if things are what we have built them up to be.

In my blog a few weeks ago I addressed the issue of us carrying around offenses that may not really be offenses, just things or situations that we have taken personally.  Seeing through new lenses helps us to recognize this powerful truth in our freedom journey.

Through deeply analyzing why I do what I do in some situations, I have come across a new way of thinking: 

“As I think in my heart, so am I.” Proverbs 23:7

This could have a lot of different life applications.  I am looking at this scripture as plain, straight-forward truth.  Sometimes we build up things and give them meaning way beyond the reality of it.  This starts to encode in us responses to things that feel similar; thereafter, we react without thinking it through.  This can also help us in dangerous situations and protect us from accidents. 

The reality is that we are always in this “reaction” mode.  Most of us believe that we think then react but in reality it’s the opposite.  Part of freedom is taking a step back and looking at our responses.  

Through this I realized that others need freedom too! (Duh! ☺)  This may seem like a strange and self-centered insight.  It may be, but it comes from me feeling like everyone around me has it together or doesn’t need freedom like I do.  

This thinking stems from my own brokenness and thoughts of being unworthy.  If people have hurt me, I must have deserved it somehow.  I am now recognizing that this isn’t necessarily true, just the way my thinking has been shaped. 

To realize that others need freedom as much as I do was a huge freedom step for me.  I was released from my own bondage of thinking that I was less than others and it has helped me see others where they are at– hurting! Hurt people hurt people and un-free people struggle in their own bondage.

The way I felt I was being treated was not what I thought it was.

"Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." Mark 5:34 

Finding freedom requires embracing risk and a willingness to admit our thinking has been wrong. God wants to free you from your suffering too, but you have a role to play in the process. What "next right step" are you willing to take TODAY to find the freedom you seek?

Walking forward,

Jennifer

Wednesday’s Word

Grace Reality Check

2^nd Corinthians 12:9a: 

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’”

Thanks so much for joining me today for Wednesday’s Word! My prayer: that it would resonate in your heart, plant in your soul and bloom in your life! Grab whatever you’re having for our time together and don’t forget your Strand of Faith!

What if I were to tell you to prepare for a big storm, perhaps a flood, a snow storm, a wind storm, a hurricane or tornado? Would you panic and freeze or allow your panic to help you begin getting ready?

Whether a snow storm, wind storm, or an imminent hurricane or tornado, there are many things we must do to prepare to increase our chances for an easier mode of survival. If you’re lucky enough to receive advance warning, you can do all of these things to prepare and be found ready and waiting: board up the windows; purchase extra food and water to have on hand; have plenty of flashlights and candles as those are a must. You need an evacuation plan and a to-go bag and it’s always better if you let someone you know, know about it. You need some form of communication to stay informed, such as a phone or battery-operated radio; Charge up all your battery-operated essentials because you never know when the power will be back up. Protect your car, keep things from flying around you inside and outside; know right where your important papers are; be prepared for a flood by having mops/towels readily accessible. And don’t forget to have things to entertain the kids with to keep them calm and their minds occupied. Have your rain-gear handy; oh, and don’t forget, have some cash on hand because you never know when/if the ATM’s in your local area will be up or down!

Those are just some of the countless things to do to make life more comfortable in and through a storm. But how do we prepare for those storms within the storm?

Let me share what I mean. Life is full of storms, physical and emotional, expected and unexpected. We lose jobs, opportunities, things, but the worst kind of storm is when we lose loved ones, no matter if that loss is as a result of death physically or a tearing apart emotionally. These are the types of storms within storms that I just don’t think we can really prepare for, or can we? 

Recently, I faced one of my biggest storms: sinus surgery. ☹  That may not sound like a big storm to you or a storm at all, but when you add the issue of claustrophobia to this storm, suddenly it’s like a hurricane, or a gigantic earthquake! I did all I could to “prepare” for it: prayed up, stayed “up,” prayed through, worked through, read scripture, recited scripture, tried to swallow a spoonful of courage daily but the truth was no matter what I did to prepare, I was still not just scared, but terrified!

When the worst of the storm was behind me, and all that was left was the cleaning up in my mind, I was horrified at the mess I had made internally. I had not coped well at all. In fact, one could look inside my heart and see a mess, as if a storm had blown right through it and shaken everything all up. For several days I beat myself up on how I hadn’t really coped in the war room but had survived outside of the war room and every time I looked into the storm-brushed heart, there was still the aftermath of a storm…until finally I heard His voice speak these words:
My grace was and continues to be sufficient! You did nothing at all; I did it all and that’s okay! That in my weakness He was strong!

Talk about sending me to my knees for some serious after-storm cleanup! Oh, how humbled am I by His gentle reminder that I don’t have to do a thing in and through a storm and that my lack of active faith doesn’t render Him gone. That all the while, He not only watched over me, He carried me through the storm!

What storm do you need to prepare for, or just let Him carry you through? 

Carried…

Evinda

Jenn’s Journey

Happy Monday! I almost missed this week due to computer problems. Ah, the conveniences which become inconveniences! I am glad to be back and have you share a cup of coffee and my thoughts!

Life is messy.  When I was growing up, I somehow had the idea that life fits in an ideal little box. I thought I could make my plans and have them work out. I grew up within a religious circle, so I also had the idea that if I “followed the rule”' I'd be safe from harm. 

I've been recovering from those beliefs ever since. This may shock some of you, and I can understand why. I believe it is human nature to desire that our lives fit into the mold we have set for them which is achieved by a list of rules to follow. When we do this, we feel in control. Alas, it is a false sense of control. It quickly loses its luster once something traumatic touches our lives.

Recently, I heard a sermon about the balance of empathy and reality. Empathy is the ability to see life from the perspective of another and reality is the truth about life. The truth about life is that it rarely goes as we hope or expect. Quite often, life throws things at us which shakes and rocks our very foundation. It is then that we need the empathy of another.  In his sermon, the pastor pointed out that empathy is "your pain in my heart." 

Have you ever felt that kind of empathy from someone? I have. It's at those times that the reality of life feels easier to bear. True empathy does not try to convince you not to feel, or that the trouble will be short lived. It simply acknowledges and sits with the pain.

The truth is, God does not keep us from all harm. He does not promise a life full of ease. Sin, free will, the devil and the controversy between good and evil are at play every second of every day. I am reminded of John 16:33, "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." This is the the ultimate in reality and empathy. 

Until next week, be blessed,

Jenn