Disagreeing is not permission to disassociate! EL

WEDNESDAY’S WORD

Colossians 4:6: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

Have you ever been in a discussion that suddenly got heated, but you were white-knuckling through it to keep your cool?  How do we throw some water on the heat of the words?

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Wednesday’s Word with Trench Classes United.

So I was in the midst of such a conversation, but before I tell you the ending, let me give you some backdrop so you can understand the context: I had gone to a conference for women and had taken someone very special to me. After a sweet time of worship, the first speaker got up there and began sharing the purpose of the whole conference, to begin a movement wherein we would build others, serve and sow in a time of so much confusion, and she went on to state homosexuality as the biggest part of that confusion. It was like she had an arrow for this group/behavior and she was aiming for a bulls-eye!

Well, this person who was with me is in between that lifestyle, has lived that lifestyle for more than 20 years – as a result of being physically, emotionally and sexually abused. And that’s not to excuse her behavior/choice but to understand it. I dropped the gavel a long time ago on such controversial issues and let God deal with them for He is the only one who knows their heart. It’s not my battle or my call; my only call is to love them.

The words definitely hit her heart and not in a good way, but she exerted some self-control. She said she knew to take what she could from the speaker(s) and to leave the rest on the floor. I breathed a sigh of relief, until on break she brought it up and began to get pretty angry about it. In fact, the more she talked about it, the madder she got!

To make a long story short, on the last day of the conference I posted something positive on Facebook about it, and tagged the speaker who had spoken out so vehemently about this lifestyle. I said nothing about that; I focused on what was good, the things I had taken from the conference.

The next day I was shopping with my BFF and I got a phone call from the one I had taken to the conference. She wanted me to help her understand why I would post “such nice things” about the conference when I didn’t agree with her.

I shared that I didn’t disagree with everything she had said, but if I were ever given a chance to speak into her life about this particular subject and give her thoughts to help her think twice about casting judgment so righteously, would she listen to me if I bashed her on social media?

“Well, that’s true,” she acceded…but not for long. Within minutes she got herself all worked up again – my friend could hear her as we were in line waiting to pay for our stuff – and I literally had to ask her to lower her voice as eyes began turning in my direction.

She said, “But you are guilty by association,” to which I asked her what she meant. “You shouldn’t alienate any group of people from God by being like that. You need to disassociate yourself.”

God intervened in such a powerful way by giving me these words: “We are called to be salt to the world, to be light. Just because I don’t agree with her doesn’t mean I get to disassociate with her.”
Silence…

“Hey, it’s my turn to pay so I’ll call you back later.”

It felt so good to not only say those words but to live by those words!

I pray they give you something to think about and help you thru your next difficult conversation.

Love,

Kim-Evinda

Unresolved bitterness snuffs out what He’s trying to bloom in you!

Happy Friday! Thank you in advance for taking time and joining me for Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Faith Filled Friday with Trench Classes United.

A few days ago I was talking with a friend; we were having great conversation, and boom! She mentioned something that she had no idea was very sensitive to me about a certain person and what that person had said. Now, I didn’t show my hurt and anger; I hid them from her, afraid to let my tongue unleash everything my heart was bursting to get out.

But when I got home, I vented to my husband and spent time praying over it, but this tiny comment planted a tiny seed of resentment and bitterness within me. It wasn’t until the next morning, which just happened to be Sunday that I realized that this seed of bitterness had taken root and that I was watering it with all my anger and hurt.

God knew my great struggle with this issue, and that I wasn’t releasing it, and He revealed that the next morning in church through the message. Take a look at the verse below…. and see how faithful our God is!

James5:9 New International Version (NIV) ⁹Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!

This verse smacked me hard right in my heart: Don’t grumble against one another, even if they are wrong in their doing. God is the judge and is standing at the door.

I believed I had every right to hold onto this anger yet God, in His grace, showed me that it would only destroy me and do nothing to the one who caused the hurt. The enemy relentlessly sends his army after us, knowing just what is going to send our vision off of God and onto the issue at hand. He wants to distract us, to keep us trapped in the chaos that can so easily consumes us.

I must endure. I must be patient in times of hurts, anger, and suffering. It may seem like an infinite trail that will never let up, but the verse below tells me that God will count those who endure blessed. That through this trail, if I keep my focus on my Jesus, loving those who seem impossible to love isn’t so impossible after all. It’s not through my love, strength, but through Christ’s love and strength through me. James 5:10-11: ¹⁰ Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. ¹¹ As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

Beloveds, are your struggling with bitterness and anger in your heart? Has someone hurt you so much that you can’t comprehend forgiveness for them? Let me encourage you, don’t let the bitterness and anger fester inside of you because it will grow like weeds out of control. It will snuff out every beautiful flower that has taken root and has bloomed in you. Lay it at the Judge’s feet, for He is standing at the door.

Gripped In His Grace,

 Ashley

Relationships are like cars: they have all kinds of warning signs when headed for trouble! EL

Ignoring my fuel light almost cost me…a lot more than a tank of gas! Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Tuesday’s Trench Truth with Trench Classes United.

Have you ever done that, push your gas tank to the very last drop, praying all the way to the nearest gas station while holding your breath…as if that makes a difference! J I have, and more than once!

But if I’m honest with myself, I do this with my significant relationships, especially with my husband, where I’ll be going and going and forget to stop and fill him up so he knows he’s loved and important to me. And after a while, we fall into a pattern of distance which creates tension and before we know it, we are dizzy with discontentment.

The truth is that relationships need maintenance, too!

We don’t need to wait until the relationship is in a rut to get it back on track, and this goes for any relationship: husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, parent/child, brother/sister, co-workers and friends, too.

Join us for all the tools you’ll need for relationship maintenance!

Looking forward to seeing you

Join us to learn the simplification for any relational complication!

How important is it to you for you to feel loved and understood by those whom you love? Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and our Invitation Tuesday with Trench Classes United.

I don’t know about you, but one of the quickest ways to emotional frustration is to feel misunderstood…especially those I am invested in…until I learned some powerful truths in our How to Love Who You Love Trench class.

I am so excited to extend this invitation to you and a loved one to join us for this relationship-refresher workshop with special guests Milan & Kay Yerkovich, authors of the BESTSELLER, How We Love. Believe it there are simple answers to the complications in relationships!

Hope to see you there,

Kim-Evinda

We have to look into the pain to see the beauty on the other side -EL

^{Galatians 2:20} I have been crucified with Christ…

I remember when I first read that and thought what in the world? How in the world?

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Faith-Filled Friday with Trench Classes United.

Have you ever seen that movie The Passion? I’ll never forget when I did and how I finally understood why all the bad that happened on crucifixion Friday really led to what we celebrate as Good Friday. It is true that we won’t ever endure what He has in all aspects of life; however, we are afforded, on a daily basis, at a minimum, the opportunity to partake in His crucifixion.

How? I’m glad you asked.

Each and every time we die to the desires of our flesh that are not pleasing to Him, in other words, things that we wouldn’t do if He were in front of us, things that we would never do, say or even think if we saw Him looking, we participate in that crucifixion and validate the necessity of all He did on the cross and off!

When we participate in His crucifixion, we can say with joy the rest of this verse: “--and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

May this Good Friday be the beginning of a true understanding of what it is to be crucified with Christ.

Love,

Kim-Evinda

GOSSIP IS POISON; WE EITHER SPEW IT BY SPEAKING IT OR DRINK IT BY LISTENING TO IT!

The more we talk about somebody to somebody when that somebody isn’t there, the more wood we add to the fire of unhealthy relationships. How does gossip contribute to unhealthy relationships? Those who speak it spew out the poison of gossip for the listeners to drink it.

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Invitation Tuesday with Trench Classes United.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just go right to the person we’re talking about and share what we’re talking about? Why stops us from doing that? Why do we feel the need to gossip? Is it to “feel” accepted, part of something bigger than you? Perhaps the way you were loved didn’t prepare you for healthy relational interaction. It’s not too late to learn! Join us for this one-day seminar that is guaranteed to better your significant relationships through understanding your own story!

Thursday’s Trench Truth

 As I was going over the conversation again and again in my head, the echo that would sound in the hallways of my heart brought all my scurrying thoughts to a stop: His love is bigger than any conflict!

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Thursday’s Trench Truth with Trench Classes United.

What would conflict look like if we learned to step back instead of jumping forward with our not-so-thought-out burst of thoughts and defenses? See, most conflicts are heightened in our own heads. We conjure up all sorts of ways the other person is going to respond if we say this…or we say that, because we just know them, right?

It’s been said that there’s three sides to every conflict: the two parties involved and the aerial view, the rational one that can see both sides.

The truth is His love is bigger than any conflict…but how do we experience that truth so we may put it into practice to use as a tool for conflict resolution?

Join us to learn how to love who you love, a powerful conflict resolution eight-week class beginning February 1^st!

Click on the link below for your invitation!

www.trenchclassesunited.com/classes

Love,

Evinda