Disagreeing is not permission to disassociate! EL

WEDNESDAY’S WORD

Colossians 4:6: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

Have you ever been in a discussion that suddenly got heated, but you were white-knuckling through it to keep your cool?  How do we throw some water on the heat of the words?

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Wednesday’s Word with Trench Classes United.

So I was in the midst of such a conversation, but before I tell you the ending, let me give you some backdrop so you can understand the context: I had gone to a conference for women and had taken someone very special to me. After a sweet time of worship, the first speaker got up there and began sharing the purpose of the whole conference, to begin a movement wherein we would build others, serve and sow in a time of so much confusion, and she went on to state homosexuality as the biggest part of that confusion. It was like she had an arrow for this group/behavior and she was aiming for a bulls-eye!

Well, this person who was with me is in between that lifestyle, has lived that lifestyle for more than 20 years – as a result of being physically, emotionally and sexually abused. And that’s not to excuse her behavior/choice but to understand it. I dropped the gavel a long time ago on such controversial issues and let God deal with them for He is the only one who knows their heart. It’s not my battle or my call; my only call is to love them.

The words definitely hit her heart and not in a good way, but she exerted some self-control. She said she knew to take what she could from the speaker(s) and to leave the rest on the floor. I breathed a sigh of relief, until on break she brought it up and began to get pretty angry about it. In fact, the more she talked about it, the madder she got!

To make a long story short, on the last day of the conference I posted something positive on Facebook about it, and tagged the speaker who had spoken out so vehemently about this lifestyle. I said nothing about that; I focused on what was good, the things I had taken from the conference.

The next day I was shopping with my BFF and I got a phone call from the one I had taken to the conference. She wanted me to help her understand why I would post “such nice things” about the conference when I didn’t agree with her.

I shared that I didn’t disagree with everything she had said, but if I were ever given a chance to speak into her life about this particular subject and give her thoughts to help her think twice about casting judgment so righteously, would she listen to me if I bashed her on social media?

“Well, that’s true,” she acceded…but not for long. Within minutes she got herself all worked up again – my friend could hear her as we were in line waiting to pay for our stuff – and I literally had to ask her to lower her voice as eyes began turning in my direction.

She said, “But you are guilty by association,” to which I asked her what she meant. “You shouldn’t alienate any group of people from God by being like that. You need to disassociate yourself.”

God intervened in such a powerful way by giving me these words: “We are called to be salt to the world, to be light. Just because I don’t agree with her doesn’t mean I get to disassociate with her.”
Silence…

“Hey, it’s my turn to pay so I’ll call you back later.”

It felt so good to not only say those words but to live by those words!

I pray they give you something to think about and help you thru your next difficult conversation.

Love,

Kim-Evinda

Fri-enemies: you can’t be an enemy unless you’ve been a friend first! EL

Wednesday’s Word

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Love

Welcome to Wednesday’s Word. Grab whatever you are having for your break and come on in and join me for what I pray will be a knot-tying time for us! Don’t forget that strand of faith, because friendship has a lot to do with our faith!

The last several weeks, there are two struggles that keep running into me, or should I say I keep running into them in my journey: Conflict and forgiveness! Ugh, sometimes I just want to blow right by them like I would an unseen stop sign. However, when I take the time to stop, HE never fails to grant me a new lesson, a new revelation. Granted, there are times I think, why do I always have to be the one to change? Well, because God has granted me the courage to know that the only one I can change is me! The illustrations He gives, the lengths He goes to in order to bring me through this lesson victoriously are…well, simply astounding!

Have you ever watched children in conflict? There is actually something to be learned by observing their struggle with innocence and their juggling of their little cups of pride that spill out onto the one they are conflicted with or by. There is this sort of bittersweet thing about them as they wiggle through their own frustration.

My grandchildren amaze me…fill my heart with so much love I never thought I had and at their young age, they teach me more than I thought I needed to know. When I watch them struggle in their childish conflicts, I realize that they still have a blanket of innocence around them that comes out after a few minutes of struggle and helps them to get over conflict so much quicker than you or I!

To watch children wiggle and wrestle with conflict is to witness the ingredients to what it takes to live out Colossians 3:12-13 which tells us “to put on tender mercies, kindness humility, meekness, long suffering, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against the other, even as Christ forgave you, so you must do.”

Let me try and paint this picture verbally: At one of our grandson’s birthday party, there was a little girl whom he was in conflict with and as the party progressed, this girl, who by the way little B says “She’s a girl and she’s a friend, but she’s not my girlfriend” J – rather aggressively demanded her way continually. 

 At first he ignored her; that didn’t work. Then he tried appeasing her; that worked for a New York minute. And then as these things didn’t accomplish her desired goal, the conflict escalated and they began to sort of toss their point of view across to the other in hopes that the other would catch it.

But then, a burst of innocence would happen and one of them would stop it with a hug, or a simple “I’m sorry,” and the conflict was over. All was forgiven…until the next time she, or he, didn’t get their way, or the other felt slighted or ignored and not special and then the tug of war began all over again.

 His other grandma, whom my heart loves, and I were talking about it and she called them “frien-emies” and that stuck with me; you can’t be an enemy unless you’ve been a friend first!

Think about it; we aren’t nearly as hurt or offended by a stranger’s behavior as we are by the behavior of one whom we love or care deeply for. Why can’t we be more like children, and get through the conflict with a simple “I’m sorry”? Why does it seem to require so much more as we get older? 

Maybe it’s time to consider the value that that frien-emy brings to our life…and if there’s more conflict than caring, maybe it’s time to evaluate the amount of space they take up in our hearts without paying rent…

True transformation can only happen with another and that’s the value that a friend brings!

Love,

Evinda

P.S. I’d like to wish one of my very best friends Janine Andriese Peace a beautiful and happy birthday. Love you so much, you amazing lady of God!

TRUTH: LOVE WINS EVERY TIME!

Faith Filled Friday

Recently, I made a decision and I felt justified by my decision to remove certain people from my life. Now I didn’t make a big deal or scene with this decision I made; it was a decision I had made in my heart and mind. I felt no remorse for it and was convinced that God was behind this decision. You see I have been hurt by these people all my life, and my weary heart could not withstand it any longer, or so my weary self thought.

Thanks for joining me today for Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Faith-Filled Friday with Trench Classes United.

 Last Sunday during worship they played a song that talked about fighting for love. As I sang this song, tears flooded my face. I was to fight to love these people, not for me, but for God because this is what He instructs us to do. I cried my broken and weary heart out to the Lord. I came before him standing, but in my spirit, I was on my face asking God to forgive my wretched heart. After worship, I dried my tears, and the pastor begins to speak in 1 Peter about loving your brothers fervently.  As I am listening to the message the tears continued to flood down my face. I couldn’t contain them. My purpose is to show Christ's love, and here my heart and mind’s decision was the furthest thing from His love.

1Peter 1:22 New King James Version (NKJV)

The Enduring Word

²² Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth ^[a]through the Spirit in ^[b]sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart,

Looking back, I do recall a period of my life where I had fallen away from the Lord, and lived my life the way I wanted for my pleasures, and didn’t want anything to do with God. Yet, He still loved me and sought after me, and here I am throwing in the towel. Needless to say, my heart was convicted to the core, but I love how gentle and tender God is with correcting us. He does it with grace and love.

Can I encourage you beloveds, if there is someone difficult in your life who causes you pain or hurt, just ask God how you are to love them and for the strength to do so. It could be either through prayer or actions, a smile or a simple “How are you?”

You see when we put ourselves and our feelings down and allow God to work it’s not us they see but Christ who lives in us. Let’s be like Jesus, though we didn’t deserve his love or grace, He still gave it abundantly. Let us follow in His footsteps. 

1 Corinthians13:4-8 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not ^[a]puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, ^[b]thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

⁸ Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

Love,

Ashley

Maybe routine and rigidity keep us in familiarity! JW

 Monday’s Mantra 

I may use Facebook a little too much but I swear I find the most thought-provoking posts and memoirs. The one that stood out to me this week was, "You can't use an egg unless it's broken."

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Monday’s Mantra with Trench Classes United.

The post went on to say how perhaps we are best used by God after we are broken. I posted this on my own wall and some of the comments were thought-provoking.

It made me think of an experiment as a kid. Hold an egg in the palm of your hand and try to crack it…apparently this is very hard to do. I Googled this to read more about it, and I guess this has been tried a lot! One of the experimenters concluded that if you hold an egg in an upright position, it is impossible to crack.

A shell is made for protection. Eggshells protect life growing inside. Seashells protect the animal inside from harm, which is necessary, right? At some point though, the life inside the shell has to break out to completely fulfill its purpose. If that does not happen, it equals death.

We tend to build shells around our lives and our hearts. Perhaps there are wounds so deep we want to encase them so as not to remember the pain. Maybe routine and rigidity keep us in familiarity. Staying inside the shell, our own little world, feels safe and comfortable. I am here to tell you, you cannot grow that way.

I tend to fear 'cracking.' I don't want to be pushed out of perceived safety. At times, life does this to us just by its nature. Other times, choices we make cause breaks in the shell. I don't believe God causes harm to come to us…but I do believe when it does, He uses it to help us and those we come in contact with. Yes, we have to allow Him to do that. How better to allow Him than to first admit we're broken? It's okay to be shattered. Let's stop trying to hold the shell in place, or piece it back together.

May I challenge you to let the pieces of YOUR shell fall away; continue to allow growth in and let your growth be an encouragement to others. God has a plan!!!

Be blessed

Jenn

Expressing love instead of an opinion will change an opinion every time! EL

Wednesday’s Word

Has someone ever offered you their opinion without you asking for it? It can be unnerving at times, can’t it?

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Wednesday’s Word with Trench Classes United. I’m so happy you joined me for some heart to heart time.

So I’m just going to get right to it, what’s in my heart that is, so come on in for a sneak peek at my journal and a personal struggle.

Journal entry: “Lord, I’m really struggling to not stay in my head about people who profess to have accepted you, to love you, and yet…don’t necessarily live for you. At least that’s my opinion.”

What came out of my pen rendered me humbled, and I know it was Him, because Coffee Hour Friend, I know firsthand that He speaks to us in ways unique to us and since I was writing to Him He wrote through me!

Daughter, I’m not asking for your opinion; I’m merely asking you to love them!

Talk about a sweet piece of humble pie!

And then I flipped the pages back in a study I’m doing about being thankful…and I came across this answer to the question: what has been your response to new life in Jesus and in what ways is death still to come, meaning in what ways do I still need to die so I can grow?

My answer: New life has taken time. It’s been a process of dying; some things slower to die than others, and still some things just needing that one little cut to be dead that I would continue to rise in Christ.”

Conclusion: My opinion of someone else’s relationship with Christ can actually interfere with my own relationship with Christ and is of no significance compared to how I love them.  Can I encourage you, Coffee Hour friend as it says in 1stPeter 4:8: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Love,

Kim-Evinda

Unresolved bitterness snuffs out what He’s trying to bloom in you!

Happy Friday! Thank you in advance for taking time and joining me for Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Faith Filled Friday with Trench Classes United.

A few days ago I was talking with a friend; we were having great conversation, and boom! She mentioned something that she had no idea was very sensitive to me about a certain person and what that person had said. Now, I didn’t show my hurt and anger; I hid them from her, afraid to let my tongue unleash everything my heart was bursting to get out.

But when I got home, I vented to my husband and spent time praying over it, but this tiny comment planted a tiny seed of resentment and bitterness within me. It wasn’t until the next morning, which just happened to be Sunday that I realized that this seed of bitterness had taken root and that I was watering it with all my anger and hurt.

God knew my great struggle with this issue, and that I wasn’t releasing it, and He revealed that the next morning in church through the message. Take a look at the verse below…. and see how faithful our God is!

James5:9 New International Version (NIV) ⁹Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!

This verse smacked me hard right in my heart: Don’t grumble against one another, even if they are wrong in their doing. God is the judge and is standing at the door.

I believed I had every right to hold onto this anger yet God, in His grace, showed me that it would only destroy me and do nothing to the one who caused the hurt. The enemy relentlessly sends his army after us, knowing just what is going to send our vision off of God and onto the issue at hand. He wants to distract us, to keep us trapped in the chaos that can so easily consumes us.

I must endure. I must be patient in times of hurts, anger, and suffering. It may seem like an infinite trail that will never let up, but the verse below tells me that God will count those who endure blessed. That through this trail, if I keep my focus on my Jesus, loving those who seem impossible to love isn’t so impossible after all. It’s not through my love, strength, but through Christ’s love and strength through me. James 5:10-11: ¹⁰ Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. ¹¹ As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

Beloveds, are your struggling with bitterness and anger in your heart? Has someone hurt you so much that you can’t comprehend forgiveness for them? Let me encourage you, don’t let the bitterness and anger fester inside of you because it will grow like weeds out of control. It will snuff out every beautiful flower that has taken root and has bloomed in you. Lay it at the Judge’s feet, for He is standing at the door.

Gripped In His Grace,

 Ashley

Relationships are like cars: they have all kinds of warning signs when headed for trouble! EL

Ignoring my fuel light almost cost me…a lot more than a tank of gas! Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Tuesday’s Trench Truth with Trench Classes United.

Have you ever done that, push your gas tank to the very last drop, praying all the way to the nearest gas station while holding your breath…as if that makes a difference! J I have, and more than once!

But if I’m honest with myself, I do this with my significant relationships, especially with my husband, where I’ll be going and going and forget to stop and fill him up so he knows he’s loved and important to me. And after a while, we fall into a pattern of distance which creates tension and before we know it, we are dizzy with discontentment.

The truth is that relationships need maintenance, too!

We don’t need to wait until the relationship is in a rut to get it back on track, and this goes for any relationship: husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, parent/child, brother/sister, co-workers and friends, too.

Join us for all the tools you’ll need for relationship maintenance!

Looking forward to seeing you

There is a difference between servant-hood and servitude!

I find annual cancer screenings as dreadful as dental appointments. I put them off until I can’t procrastinate any longer!

Welcome to Coffee Hour and Monday’s Mantra with Trench Classes United; a division of Chicklit Power Ministries.

I’m sure my hesitancy falls into the “normal” category when it comes to routine cancer screening. Even though I feel healthy, I realize test results can prove otherwise. I have had tests prove otherwise. I always pray God will grant me concrete results, regardless of the outcome. Still, I arrived at my mammogram appointment tense and nervous.

My mammography technologist picked up on my tension. She immediately went to work to diffuse it. As she put me through the routine procedures, she engaged me in conversation. Somewhere along the way, our conversation turned to the subject of food. I hardly remember the mammogram. I vividly remember her recipes for corned beef, cabbage, and Spanish rice! She accomplished what she set out to do, ensuring that everyone who enters her exam room leaves relaxed and comfortable. This honorable woman of God displays the perfect example of servant-hood.

As Christians, we can confuse servant-hood with servitude. Servitude implies slavery and involuntary labor. Someone ensnared in servitude serves out of a sense of fear and duty. Someone serving in the spirit of servant-hood does so willingly with a sense of love and commitment. Servant-hood is beautifully illustrated in John 13:12-15.

“When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example: that you also should do just as I have done to you.”

In Matthew 20:28 Jesus defined servant -hood when he said, “the Son of man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

By the grace of God, we all can rise to the calling of true servant-hood. Through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we can fulfill possibilities otherwise unknown. We need only to allow God to guide us.

The greatest among you shall be your servant. (Mathew 23:11)

Your questions and comments are always welcome.

Lovingly in Christ,

Megan

Join us to learn the simplification for any relational complication!

How important is it to you for you to feel loved and understood by those whom you love? Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and our Invitation Tuesday with Trench Classes United.

I don’t know about you, but one of the quickest ways to emotional frustration is to feel misunderstood…especially those I am invested in…until I learned some powerful truths in our How to Love Who You Love Trench class.

I am so excited to extend this invitation to you and a loved one to join us for this relationship-refresher workshop with special guests Milan & Kay Yerkovich, authors of the BESTSELLER, How We Love. Believe it there are simple answers to the complications in relationships!

Hope to see you there,

Kim-Evinda

Problems are like onions; they need to be peeled one layer at a time to get to the core EL

To steal a reference from Shrek, “The problem is like an onion; it has layers”!

Welcome to Monday’s Musings with Trench Classes United. Today we have a special blog for you from a board/trench member who has witnessed a lot in the first response arena and the aftermath of people’s choices. I love how he combines the reality that problems, more often than not, have roots, a genesis, a beginning. The issue he’s sharing about today while becoming more and more televised and talked about didn’t just show up. Please, come on in…with an open mind and heart which will enable you to look past the first layer of this issue.

Is all of the action and attention directed toward the school shootings and gun control focusing on the wrong layer? Yes, these shootings are tragedies and guns are being misused, but I think what we are missing is the “WHY”?

Why are these kids taking the actions they are taking?  I feel we should be looking deeper at the “why” of this issue. Why are we making it all about a gun issue and nothing about an emotional/mental health issue? While the gun is the tool being used in these horrific tragedies, what is it that got them to the gun?

Until we get that figured out, it won’t matter what you ban, it will still happen.       

I feel we need to look at the root of the problem, the “why,” which in my opinion is mental/emotional health. Why or how does it get to the tragedy of killings with a gun and yet NOBODY noticed? Perhaps it’s time we all become more cognizant of the people around us; then we might see problems in the home, bullying in schools, over medicated and under treated mental health issues.

Mental/emotional health is not like a broken arm. You can’t always see it; it’s not always obvious…but it’s real! Unfortunately, for most, emotional/mental health is out of sight and therefore out of mind.

Until we dare to try and understand the root of this problem, we can’t endeavor to fix the problem. The sooner we start to identify and treat the root of the problem, the sooner we can make a difference. I’ve learned in life, and with the help of the Trench Classes that to get to the root takes helping one to understand his or her feelings, validating those feelings in a way that brings value and helps the person see their need for a change of direction. This will help develop healthy coping skills to deal with life on life’s terms.

It sounds so simplistic, but the truth is it takes work. Until we are willing to peel back the layers of this problem, no matter what you ban, what you try and control, it will still happen.

Musing,

John Jones 

GOSSIP IS POISON; WE EITHER SPEW IT BY SPEAKING IT OR DRINK IT BY LISTENING TO IT!

The more we talk about somebody to somebody when that somebody isn’t there, the more wood we add to the fire of unhealthy relationships. How does gossip contribute to unhealthy relationships? Those who speak it spew out the poison of gossip for the listeners to drink it.

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Invitation Tuesday with Trench Classes United.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just go right to the person we’re talking about and share what we’re talking about? Why stops us from doing that? Why do we feel the need to gossip? Is it to “feel” accepted, part of something bigger than you? Perhaps the way you were loved didn’t prepare you for healthy relational interaction. It’s not too late to learn! Join us for this one-day seminar that is guaranteed to better your significant relationships through understanding your own story!

Monday’s Mantra

Thanks for joining us for Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and Trench Classes

United. It’s always good to have a splash of perspective, especially around this time of year. Grab your favorite beverage and join me for a splash of perspective and a little Christmas message from my heart to yours!

THE GIFTS OF THE SEASON

It is not about the presents under the Christmas tree,

But the presence of love we feel from friends and family

It’s not about the shopping that we feel we must do

But about the gift that has been given freely to me and you

The gift is a gift that money can’t buy

The birth, death & resurrection of Christ is for you and I

Nor is it about making a list and then checking it twice

And buying countless gifts for the naughty or the nice

The reason for the season isn’t about all the debt and stress

It’s a season to offer special gifts such as patience and forgiveness

Or maybe a gift of time for one whose time is running out

A meal for a family in need to encourage hope where there is doubt

Or maybe someone needs a helping hand to accomplish a tedious chore

Yes, these are the kinds of gifts that keep on giving forever more

Oh that we would take the materialism out of this season

And in its place remember redemption is our reason

Acts of kindness come freely to and from those walking in His Spirit

They will outlive materialism though the world doesn’t want to hear it

The gifts of Love, joy, peace, patience, don’t need a reason

Nor does kindness, gentleness or self-control have to have a season! ^EL

              May the gifts of the season guide you to and through the New Year!

Love,

Evinda