Fri-enemies: you can’t be an enemy unless you’ve been a friend first! EL

Wednesday’s Word

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Love

Welcome to Wednesday’s Word. Grab whatever you are having for your break and come on in and join me for what I pray will be a knot-tying time for us! Don’t forget that strand of faith, because friendship has a lot to do with our faith!

The last several weeks, there are two struggles that keep running into me, or should I say I keep running into them in my journey: Conflict and forgiveness! Ugh, sometimes I just want to blow right by them like I would an unseen stop sign. However, when I take the time to stop, HE never fails to grant me a new lesson, a new revelation. Granted, there are times I think, why do I always have to be the one to change? Well, because God has granted me the courage to know that the only one I can change is me! The illustrations He gives, the lengths He goes to in order to bring me through this lesson victoriously are…well, simply astounding!

Have you ever watched children in conflict? There is actually something to be learned by observing their struggle with innocence and their juggling of their little cups of pride that spill out onto the one they are conflicted with or by. There is this sort of bittersweet thing about them as they wiggle through their own frustration.

My grandchildren amaze me…fill my heart with so much love I never thought I had and at their young age, they teach me more than I thought I needed to know. When I watch them struggle in their childish conflicts, I realize that they still have a blanket of innocence around them that comes out after a few minutes of struggle and helps them to get over conflict so much quicker than you or I!

To watch children wiggle and wrestle with conflict is to witness the ingredients to what it takes to live out Colossians 3:12-13 which tells us “to put on tender mercies, kindness humility, meekness, long suffering, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against the other, even as Christ forgave you, so you must do.”

Let me try and paint this picture verbally: At one of our grandson’s birthday party, there was a little girl whom he was in conflict with and as the party progressed, this girl, who by the way little B says “She’s a girl and she’s a friend, but she’s not my girlfriend” J – rather aggressively demanded her way continually. 

 At first he ignored her; that didn’t work. Then he tried appeasing her; that worked for a New York minute. And then as these things didn’t accomplish her desired goal, the conflict escalated and they began to sort of toss their point of view across to the other in hopes that the other would catch it.

But then, a burst of innocence would happen and one of them would stop it with a hug, or a simple “I’m sorry,” and the conflict was over. All was forgiven…until the next time she, or he, didn’t get their way, or the other felt slighted or ignored and not special and then the tug of war began all over again.

 His other grandma, whom my heart loves, and I were talking about it and she called them “frien-emies” and that stuck with me; you can’t be an enemy unless you’ve been a friend first!

Think about it; we aren’t nearly as hurt or offended by a stranger’s behavior as we are by the behavior of one whom we love or care deeply for. Why can’t we be more like children, and get through the conflict with a simple “I’m sorry”? Why does it seem to require so much more as we get older? 

Maybe it’s time to consider the value that that frien-emy brings to our life…and if there’s more conflict than caring, maybe it’s time to evaluate the amount of space they take up in our hearts without paying rent…

True transformation can only happen with another and that’s the value that a friend brings!

Love,

Evinda

P.S. I’d like to wish one of my very best friends Janine Andriese Peace a beautiful and happy birthday. Love you so much, you amazing lady of God!

We choose what we believe or disbelieve

 Tuesday’s Trench Truth

If this is true, who has the power over your thoughts?

Join our community of Transformers on Facebook for more encouragement in the journey www.facebook.com/trenchclassesunited

Love,

Kim-Evinda

Faith is not a denial of painful circumstances; it’s the ability to trust Him to work in and through them EL

 Tuesday’s Trench Truth and Invitation, Too!

                              10 Steps to Loving the Unlovable you Signup HERE ! 

Faith helps us to laugh…with others and even ourselves. Join us for A Night of Laughter, our fundraiser to help us help others learn to thrive in life and love.  Click the picture for tickets! 

Faith helps us to laugh…with others and even ourselves. Join us for A Night of Laughter, our fundraiser to help us help others learn to thrive in life and love

Hope to see you there!
Kim-Evinda

We are more likely to hear His whispers while being vs. doing. EL

Wednesday’s Word

Driving while not knowing where I’m going, aimlessly, until I reach a dead-end and there’s nowhere for me to go but to turn around and look for the turn I missed…

Thanks for joining me today for Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Wednesday’s Word with Trench Classes United.

There’s something that comes over us when we realize we’re lost, especially in the world of Siri, GPS, and any other navigation system coming from our phones and/or our cars. Some of us may experience frustration, especially if we’re in a hurry; and some of us may be more easy-going about it, and still yet, this feeling of being lost may push the panic button. But eventually, we find our way, right?

What about in life, when we feel unsure with the direction it’s headed, not confident with the last important choice we made, or a turn taken? What do we do when we find ourselves in front of a dead-end, with nowhere else to go, no turn to make, and no moving forward? The only choice we have is to do a complete turnaround…or sit and wait for instructions.

We can either sit in peace trusting while waiting that He’s working everything out for our good, ^{Romans 8:28} that His plan is not to harm us but to build us up, ^{Jer. 29:11} or we can fight it, squirming within ourselves, stressing instead of chilling in the warmth of His love, our anxiety rising louder than the quiet of His whispers, risking the possibility of missing our next instruction.

There is something to be said about a peace that transcends all understanding that guards the heart and mind ^{Phil. 4:7} in a fast-pace world; holding us steady while waiting for a way out of the dead-end, a new direction, all the while enjoying being…versus doing; after all, as Jesus says in Matthew 6:27: Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his/her stature?

Waiting…

Kim-Evinda

Emotional checkups keep us from becoming wrecks and causing wrecks! EL

Monday’s Mantra

It's Monday! Here we are meeting up again already!  Thanks for joining me for Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Monday’s Mantra with Trench Classes United.

Recently I went in for a yearly check up. I had been feeling extra tired and run down as of late. My doctor ordered some blood work. The results came back with healthy levels of everything except iron…turns out I was anemic. This explains the fatigue and a few other symptoms I was having. My doctor suggested I take a supplement, and within days of doing so, I felt better! What a relief to have symptoms checked, and an answer found.

Like physical exams, we need emotional checkups. When was the last time you paid attention to warning signs in your emotions? Unfortunately, it's easy to ignore symptoms until it's too late and you've said something out of anger or irritation…or done something you'll regret. At least this is my experience!

 I was in a self-defense class the other day. The instructor had us take a few minutes to do what he called taking inventory of ourselves…becoming aware of how you're feeling he said. Any tight muscles, he asked? Is there any pain anywhere?

I've had all the symptoms of emotional weariness lately: irritation, impatience, sadness, brokenness and anger. I have found myself in the strangest bubble of silence...as if words have failed me. So, for a time, I am just going to sit back and take inventory. What is it I truly feel? Maybe I need to spend more time with the Great Physician.

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! Psalm 27:14

Until next week, be blessed,

Jenn

Maybe routine and rigidity keep us in familiarity! JW

 Monday’s Mantra 

I may use Facebook a little too much but I swear I find the most thought-provoking posts and memoirs. The one that stood out to me this week was, "You can't use an egg unless it's broken."

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Monday’s Mantra with Trench Classes United.

The post went on to say how perhaps we are best used by God after we are broken. I posted this on my own wall and some of the comments were thought-provoking.

It made me think of an experiment as a kid. Hold an egg in the palm of your hand and try to crack it…apparently this is very hard to do. I Googled this to read more about it, and I guess this has been tried a lot! One of the experimenters concluded that if you hold an egg in an upright position, it is impossible to crack.

A shell is made for protection. Eggshells protect life growing inside. Seashells protect the animal inside from harm, which is necessary, right? At some point though, the life inside the shell has to break out to completely fulfill its purpose. If that does not happen, it equals death.

We tend to build shells around our lives and our hearts. Perhaps there are wounds so deep we want to encase them so as not to remember the pain. Maybe routine and rigidity keep us in familiarity. Staying inside the shell, our own little world, feels safe and comfortable. I am here to tell you, you cannot grow that way.

I tend to fear 'cracking.' I don't want to be pushed out of perceived safety. At times, life does this to us just by its nature. Other times, choices we make cause breaks in the shell. I don't believe God causes harm to come to us…but I do believe when it does, He uses it to help us and those we come in contact with. Yes, we have to allow Him to do that. How better to allow Him than to first admit we're broken? It's okay to be shattered. Let's stop trying to hold the shell in place, or piece it back together.

May I challenge you to let the pieces of YOUR shell fall away; continue to allow growth in and let your growth be an encouragement to others. God has a plan!!!

Be blessed

Jenn

When we are able to correct with love we will connect in love! EL

Invitation Tuesday

Are you the fun parent or the disciplinary parent? Would you like a better connection with your child or children?

Join us tomorrow night for our Facebook live at 5:45 @ www.facebook.com/trenchclassesunited  to gain some insight into your parenting style and THIS Saturday, for our powerful, life-changing relationship seminar with best-selling authors of the book How We Love. Tickets still available

See you there,

Kim-Evinda

P.S. Don’t forget to join me live at 5:45 tomorrow night @ www.facebook.com/trenchclassesunited

Unresolved bitterness snuffs out what He’s trying to bloom in you!

Happy Friday! Thank you in advance for taking time and joining me for Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Faith Filled Friday with Trench Classes United.

A few days ago I was talking with a friend; we were having great conversation, and boom! She mentioned something that she had no idea was very sensitive to me about a certain person and what that person had said. Now, I didn’t show my hurt and anger; I hid them from her, afraid to let my tongue unleash everything my heart was bursting to get out.

But when I got home, I vented to my husband and spent time praying over it, but this tiny comment planted a tiny seed of resentment and bitterness within me. It wasn’t until the next morning, which just happened to be Sunday that I realized that this seed of bitterness had taken root and that I was watering it with all my anger and hurt.

God knew my great struggle with this issue, and that I wasn’t releasing it, and He revealed that the next morning in church through the message. Take a look at the verse below…. and see how faithful our God is!

James5:9 New International Version (NIV) ⁹Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!

This verse smacked me hard right in my heart: Don’t grumble against one another, even if they are wrong in their doing. God is the judge and is standing at the door.

I believed I had every right to hold onto this anger yet God, in His grace, showed me that it would only destroy me and do nothing to the one who caused the hurt. The enemy relentlessly sends his army after us, knowing just what is going to send our vision off of God and onto the issue at hand. He wants to distract us, to keep us trapped in the chaos that can so easily consumes us.

I must endure. I must be patient in times of hurts, anger, and suffering. It may seem like an infinite trail that will never let up, but the verse below tells me that God will count those who endure blessed. That through this trail, if I keep my focus on my Jesus, loving those who seem impossible to love isn’t so impossible after all. It’s not through my love, strength, but through Christ’s love and strength through me. James 5:10-11: ¹⁰ Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. ¹¹ As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

Beloveds, are your struggling with bitterness and anger in your heart? Has someone hurt you so much that you can’t comprehend forgiveness for them? Let me encourage you, don’t let the bitterness and anger fester inside of you because it will grow like weeds out of control. It will snuff out every beautiful flower that has taken root and has bloomed in you. Lay it at the Judge’s feet, for He is standing at the door.

Gripped In His Grace,

 Ashley

Being green with envy only makes one feel blue EL

I met one of my BFF’s for lunch the other day. We go way back but sort of got out of consistent contact and that is now starting to change and I’m so grateful because she has such a special place in my heart. After we ordered, she very casually announced that her husband was quitting his job. With my mouth open – quite wide for the first few seconds – I listened as she replayed the plans her and her husband had for their future which sounded pretty financially successful and secure.  I was happy for her, truly happy, and yet, there was something else tugging on my emotions. Was it envy? Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Wednesday’s Word with Trench Classes United.

It sounded like a great plan; they are on to something and their finances, which we all know trickle down into every other aspect of married life, have been really blessed. I mean, God’s really brought her so far in so many ways. “Do you ever look back and marvel at how far you’ve come, how far He’s brought you?” I asked her.

She didn’t hesitate, “Absolutely!”

We took a quick trip down memory lane and at the end of it, I admitted that I was super happy for her and a bit envious, too, because I really didn’t think I’d be in the financial position I am currently – which isn’t bad, but definitely not where I had wanted to be.

We talked about that for a few minutes and our conversation veered over into priorities and I found myself admitting that though I enjoy court reporting and thankful for the ability to still do it part time, my heart and soul are in the ministry…my heart beats for the church, for people to understand the reality of the necessity of Christ in their lives.

I’ll never, ever forget her profound and matter-of-fact response: “That’s why. Your priorities are different; that’s all.”

In that moment I was reminded of Abba’s words to me years before; I have more of an ERA (eternal retirement account) than an IRA (individual retirement account.)

Oh, to live for my next life and not be so caught up in this life!

That’s easier said than done, right? I love this reminder from Paul in Philippians 4:11-13  (NIV)

¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

 And truthfully, I wouldn’t change my life…or my calling…even if I could!

Love,

Kim-Evinda

On the dance floor of life, how well we dance is seen in our relationships! EL

Invitation Thursday

What do you do when you feel someone you love pulling away from you?

Do you experience a push and pull in any of your relationships? Join us to learn how to “dance” well on the dance floor of life in the most important dance: Relationships!

Looking forward to showing you the steps

Kim-Evinda

There is a difference between servant-hood and servitude!

I find annual cancer screenings as dreadful as dental appointments. I put them off until I can’t procrastinate any longer!

Welcome to Coffee Hour and Monday’s Mantra with Trench Classes United; a division of Chicklit Power Ministries.

I’m sure my hesitancy falls into the “normal” category when it comes to routine cancer screening. Even though I feel healthy, I realize test results can prove otherwise. I have had tests prove otherwise. I always pray God will grant me concrete results, regardless of the outcome. Still, I arrived at my mammogram appointment tense and nervous.

My mammography technologist picked up on my tension. She immediately went to work to diffuse it. As she put me through the routine procedures, she engaged me in conversation. Somewhere along the way, our conversation turned to the subject of food. I hardly remember the mammogram. I vividly remember her recipes for corned beef, cabbage, and Spanish rice! She accomplished what she set out to do, ensuring that everyone who enters her exam room leaves relaxed and comfortable. This honorable woman of God displays the perfect example of servant-hood.

As Christians, we can confuse servant-hood with servitude. Servitude implies slavery and involuntary labor. Someone ensnared in servitude serves out of a sense of fear and duty. Someone serving in the spirit of servant-hood does so willingly with a sense of love and commitment. Servant-hood is beautifully illustrated in John 13:12-15.

“When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example: that you also should do just as I have done to you.”

In Matthew 20:28 Jesus defined servant -hood when he said, “the Son of man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

By the grace of God, we all can rise to the calling of true servant-hood. Through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we can fulfill possibilities otherwise unknown. We need only to allow God to guide us.

The greatest among you shall be your servant. (Mathew 23:11)

Your questions and comments are always welcome.

Lovingly in Christ,

Megan

Join us to learn the simplification for any relational complication!

How important is it to you for you to feel loved and understood by those whom you love? Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and our Invitation Tuesday with Trench Classes United.

I don’t know about you, but one of the quickest ways to emotional frustration is to feel misunderstood…especially those I am invested in…until I learned some powerful truths in our How to Love Who You Love Trench class.

I am so excited to extend this invitation to you and a loved one to join us for this relationship-refresher workshop with special guests Milan & Kay Yerkovich, authors of the BESTSELLER, How We Love. Believe it there are simple answers to the complications in relationships!

Hope to see you there,

Kim-Evinda

Problems are like onions; they need to be peeled one layer at a time to get to the core EL

To steal a reference from Shrek, “The problem is like an onion; it has layers”!

Welcome to Monday’s Musings with Trench Classes United. Today we have a special blog for you from a board/trench member who has witnessed a lot in the first response arena and the aftermath of people’s choices. I love how he combines the reality that problems, more often than not, have roots, a genesis, a beginning. The issue he’s sharing about today while becoming more and more televised and talked about didn’t just show up. Please, come on in…with an open mind and heart which will enable you to look past the first layer of this issue.

Is all of the action and attention directed toward the school shootings and gun control focusing on the wrong layer? Yes, these shootings are tragedies and guns are being misused, but I think what we are missing is the “WHY”?

Why are these kids taking the actions they are taking?  I feel we should be looking deeper at the “why” of this issue. Why are we making it all about a gun issue and nothing about an emotional/mental health issue? While the gun is the tool being used in these horrific tragedies, what is it that got them to the gun?

Until we get that figured out, it won’t matter what you ban, it will still happen.       

I feel we need to look at the root of the problem, the “why,” which in my opinion is mental/emotional health. Why or how does it get to the tragedy of killings with a gun and yet NOBODY noticed? Perhaps it’s time we all become more cognizant of the people around us; then we might see problems in the home, bullying in schools, over medicated and under treated mental health issues.

Mental/emotional health is not like a broken arm. You can’t always see it; it’s not always obvious…but it’s real! Unfortunately, for most, emotional/mental health is out of sight and therefore out of mind.

Until we dare to try and understand the root of this problem, we can’t endeavor to fix the problem. The sooner we start to identify and treat the root of the problem, the sooner we can make a difference. I’ve learned in life, and with the help of the Trench Classes that to get to the root takes helping one to understand his or her feelings, validating those feelings in a way that brings value and helps the person see their need for a change of direction. This will help develop healthy coping skills to deal with life on life’s terms.

It sounds so simplistic, but the truth is it takes work. Until we are willing to peel back the layers of this problem, no matter what you ban, what you try and control, it will still happen.

Musing,

John Jones 

GOSSIP IS POISON; WE EITHER SPEW IT BY SPEAKING IT OR DRINK IT BY LISTENING TO IT!

The more we talk about somebody to somebody when that somebody isn’t there, the more wood we add to the fire of unhealthy relationships. How does gossip contribute to unhealthy relationships? Those who speak it spew out the poison of gossip for the listeners to drink it.

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Invitation Tuesday with Trench Classes United.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just go right to the person we’re talking about and share what we’re talking about? Why stops us from doing that? Why do we feel the need to gossip? Is it to “feel” accepted, part of something bigger than you? Perhaps the way you were loved didn’t prepare you for healthy relational interaction. It’s not too late to learn! Join us for this one-day seminar that is guaranteed to better your significant relationships through understanding your own story!

Faith Filled Fridays

Hello and welcome back everyone to Faith Filled Friday. How's everyone doing out there? I really mean that. How are you? I often wonder about people I see walking to a destination or driving on a road to come to the same red light and wait, driving the same bridge as our minds mindlessly ponder many things. Have you ever pulled up to someone and watch their expressions as they sit and wait? I see so many different facial expressions and feelings on people's faces when I do this. Something in me wants to reach out and just ask: "How are you?" I love it when someone takes the time to ask that of me. I often feel that so many people have something truly burdening them, yet they still function day to day. I myself admit to being one of these people. So are we controlled by our fears? Again I find myself admitting that yes I am one of these people. 

I once read: "Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness." I often wonder what my life would be like if I could just jump over the things that developed these fears within me. What would it be like to enjoy a new epiphany of freedom and happiness? Is this the kind that our God above would love to see us live and explore?

It has taken me years of this life to understand more of just what kind of love God has for us. I find a freedom and happiness knowing that I never have to question God like I used to; that his freedom and ultimate happiness is with us. If God can love us, shouldn't we be able to love ourselves?

This year I am already taking on new tasks like learning how to organize time and certain aspects of my life a little better, things that might not be incredibly life-changing as much as they are more life-helping. So far I have found a lot of happiness in it and, yes, even a freedom in it.

Join me in praying this week that we may find the strength to take the smallest of steps because I suspect that when we look back, we just may find that they were bigger than we originally thought and recognize the beautiful bridge that spans the in-between of heart and soul.

Much love and heartfelt freedom, everyone!

John Tam