Active listening is authentically listening! MP

 Faith-Filled Friday

My Mother instructed me to always make eye contact with my teachers so they would think I was interested in what they were saying …

Welcome to Coffee Hour at Chicklit Power and Faith-Filled Friday with Trench Classes United & Megan Pilarik.

My Mother was a teacher, so undoubtedly she knew what it took to make a teacher feel valued. Making eye contact is an important component of active listening, but active listening is not the art of making others think you are interested in what they have to say. Active listening is the ability to be authentically interested in what someone is communicating to you.

My husband and I attended a family wedding this weekend. I thought this would be a good opportunity to practice active listening skills. I should have known better. My novice listening skills and I failed miserably. I was constantly distracted. Being a good listener takes a lot of commitment and focus! The only thing I accomplished was recognizing I was not being a very good listener.

Jesus listened. He was fully present with everyone He encountered. He gave people His full attention and permitted them to tell their story. He first listened - and then ministered to their needs.

The Christ-centered, Christian care Stephen Ministry teaches its caregivers the importance of listening before responding. People going through sickness, grief, and hard times need someone to share it with. Being heard helps them feel valued and understood.

God works through our listening to accomplish healing. God works through our listening to inspire others to do what they know they must do. 

James 1:19 (NKJV) “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

                                                                                                                                

Be swift to listen … it just may be your greatest gift.

Your comments are always most welcome.

Lovingly in Christ,

Megan

TRUTH: LOVE WINS EVERY TIME!

Faith Filled Friday

Recently, I made a decision and I felt justified by my decision to remove certain people from my life. Now I didn’t make a big deal or scene with this decision I made; it was a decision I had made in my heart and mind. I felt no remorse for it and was convinced that God was behind this decision. You see I have been hurt by these people all my life, and my weary heart could not withstand it any longer, or so my weary self thought.

Thanks for joining me today for Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Faith-Filled Friday with Trench Classes United.

 Last Sunday during worship they played a song that talked about fighting for love. As I sang this song, tears flooded my face. I was to fight to love these people, not for me, but for God because this is what He instructs us to do. I cried my broken and weary heart out to the Lord. I came before him standing, but in my spirit, I was on my face asking God to forgive my wretched heart. After worship, I dried my tears, and the pastor begins to speak in 1 Peter about loving your brothers fervently.  As I am listening to the message the tears continued to flood down my face. I couldn’t contain them. My purpose is to show Christ's love, and here my heart and mind’s decision was the furthest thing from His love.

1Peter 1:22 New King James Version (NKJV)

The Enduring Word

²² Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth ^[a]through the Spirit in ^[b]sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart,

Looking back, I do recall a period of my life where I had fallen away from the Lord, and lived my life the way I wanted for my pleasures, and didn’t want anything to do with God. Yet, He still loved me and sought after me, and here I am throwing in the towel. Needless to say, my heart was convicted to the core, but I love how gentle and tender God is with correcting us. He does it with grace and love.

Can I encourage you beloveds, if there is someone difficult in your life who causes you pain or hurt, just ask God how you are to love them and for the strength to do so. It could be either through prayer or actions, a smile or a simple “How are you?”

You see when we put ourselves and our feelings down and allow God to work it’s not us they see but Christ who lives in us. Let’s be like Jesus, though we didn’t deserve his love or grace, He still gave it abundantly. Let us follow in His footsteps. 

1 Corinthians13:4-8 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not ^[a]puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, ^[b]thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

⁸ Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

Love,

Ashley

Problems are like onions; they need to be peeled one layer at a time to get to the core EL

To steal a reference from Shrek, “The problem is like an onion; it has layers”!

Welcome to Monday’s Musings with Trench Classes United. Today we have a special blog for you from a board/trench member who has witnessed a lot in the first response arena and the aftermath of people’s choices. I love how he combines the reality that problems, more often than not, have roots, a genesis, a beginning. The issue he’s sharing about today while becoming more and more televised and talked about didn’t just show up. Please, come on in…with an open mind and heart which will enable you to look past the first layer of this issue.

Is all of the action and attention directed toward the school shootings and gun control focusing on the wrong layer? Yes, these shootings are tragedies and guns are being misused, but I think what we are missing is the “WHY”?

Why are these kids taking the actions they are taking?  I feel we should be looking deeper at the “why” of this issue. Why are we making it all about a gun issue and nothing about an emotional/mental health issue? While the gun is the tool being used in these horrific tragedies, what is it that got them to the gun?

Until we get that figured out, it won’t matter what you ban, it will still happen.       

I feel we need to look at the root of the problem, the “why,” which in my opinion is mental/emotional health. Why or how does it get to the tragedy of killings with a gun and yet NOBODY noticed? Perhaps it’s time we all become more cognizant of the people around us; then we might see problems in the home, bullying in schools, over medicated and under treated mental health issues.

Mental/emotional health is not like a broken arm. You can’t always see it; it’s not always obvious…but it’s real! Unfortunately, for most, emotional/mental health is out of sight and therefore out of mind.

Until we dare to try and understand the root of this problem, we can’t endeavor to fix the problem. The sooner we start to identify and treat the root of the problem, the sooner we can make a difference. I’ve learned in life, and with the help of the Trench Classes that to get to the root takes helping one to understand his or her feelings, validating those feelings in a way that brings value and helps the person see their need for a change of direction. This will help develop healthy coping skills to deal with life on life’s terms.

It sounds so simplistic, but the truth is it takes work. Until we are willing to peel back the layers of this problem, no matter what you ban, what you try and control, it will still happen.

Musing,

John Jones 

Monday’s Mantra

Two Gifts

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and Trench Classes United. I’m delighted you could join us today. Grab your Strand of Faith and let’s go tie some knots in our faith with two gifts we can give this season that won’t really cost you!

Have you ever been present but vacant in a conversation and suddenly someone asks you what you think about what was just said? Perhaps you were thinking of things you had to do, or maybe all of your responsibilities prevented you from staying in the moments. Or how about when someone calls you for a favor and you begrudgingly say yes but you really mean no because you feel like your agenda has now been interrupted?  And isn’t all of that put on steroids during the Christmas season? I don’t know about you, but when I’m the one talking, I really want to be listened to, don’t you?

See, one of the many hindrances to listening is being too busy. We are so busy in our next moment, thinking of the next thing on our list of things to do that we are not present in the present; as a result we miss the opportunities to bless someone and be blessed. 

I think two of the most valuable gifts we could give to one another are the gift of time, and the gift of listening, which requires time! So while I suggest they don’t really have a monetary cost, there is a sacrifice involved.

But how do we make the time to take the time to listen? It can’t happen and won’t happen without a willingness to incorporate some time management tools. See, you can’t give what you don’t have! When we put Him as our first priority in the morning, we are not only better equipped to face what comes our way, but we have the time to deal with it all.

In Matthew 5:6, Jesus goes to a secret place to talk to His Father. He instructs us to do the same. Why do you think that is? Well, my first thought is to get away from all the distractions of life. It’s so easy to get distracted, isn’t it? Don’t beat yourself up about that because the more you obsess on this truth, the more power it will hold and the more distracted you will be. We are to go to our secret place because HE wants to have a one-on-one with YOU!

Perhaps the first place we can practice giving these two precious gifts of time and listening is to Him in our secret place in a private communication with God. We know that true communication requires listening. In other words, we don’t just go into our closet or our secret place and give Him a list of things to do. He is not to be treated as a genie in a bottle; however, He does want to hear our heart because He already sees our heart.

With that in mind, let’s look at the acrostic for P.R.A.Y., which is something useful to incorporate as you set aside time with Him and learn to listen:

P stands for praise: go into your secret place, and listen to some praise & worship music, and just thank Him for His provision, protection and His promises.

R stands for rewind the day before, and as you do, offer more praise to Him for those moments you experienced Him, His presence, His provision, or perhaps a promise came to life in you. And then if something you said or did comes to the surface of your heart that nudges your heart with conviction, repent of it. Ask Him to forgive you for it.

A stands for allow His presence to draw you closer and as you do He will stir your heart and help you to ask for the desires of your heart, for yourself and for others. This is a great time to ask for divine appointments for that day, meaning opportunities to give of your time and listen. Sitting still in His presence prepares your heart and tunes your ears for opportunities that He has planned just for you that day.

Y stands for yield-hand over any burdens, sorrows as they relate to you and/or others; this letting go is also a form of yielding to His will for your day in exchange for your agenda. You may have to do this many times throughout the day; that’s okay! 

Remember, practice, practice, practice and look for opportunities to give these eternal gifts away because you never know who He will put in your path that needs a shoulder and an ear, too!

Love,
Evinda