The Morning of the Procedure

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Philippians 4:13

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Oh but it’s great to have you to share this story with. I truly appreciate knowing there’s you and that we are having coffee together and I have to be honest and let you know that at first I thought that it was just me looking for the writing material from my first trial of the year, but now I can see there is a greater purpose, a period of refining that He relentlessly and lovingly continues to do in my life that I may share from my heart to yours. Grab your coffee and come on in.

I know it’s already the second Friday of this month in a brand-new year, but keep in mind we are looking back to the second day of the year. I say that more for me than for you because I want so much to jump ahead and share the lessons from this medical saga, but I can’t just give you some of the pieces. Each and every one of them has an important part of painting both pain and beauty in this particular vignette of the journey.

So where were we? Oh, yeah, I have just taken my dose of anti-anxiety medicine and am waiting for them to come and get me for this MRI.

The waiting was easier because of the company. George and Craig were there so the four of us were talking about various things; I don’t even remember now. Conversation with both of them came pretty easily and the nurses often commented on the friendship that was forming in our hospital room. At this point, Wynona’s doctor had come in and announced that they did in fact need to do surgery to remove her gallbladder and informed them both that the surgeon would be in later that day to introduce himself. She was still on NPO, and starving.

By this time, both she and I were suffering from a migraine headache as well. She was convinced hers was from caffeine withdrawal and I was thinking mine was a combination of food and caffeine abstinence. Unfortunately, my migraine increased my nausea from a 4 to a 10, but all of that seemed to disappear the moment the nurse came in our room with a wheelchair. It was as though everything in me froze, and everything outside of me kept moving. All I could think about was getting the heck out of there, running and not coming back. Trust me, if there was a way to do that and not bring the medical problem, whatever the heck it was, with me, I so would have.

The RN brought me out of my frozen reverie, where I could have stayed until this whole nightmare went away, as she separated me from my new companion, the IV. I got up ever so slowly, so as not to throw up, and she helped me into the awaiting wheelchair. I’m sure the expression on my face told them I was going to my death. Why else the sudden reassurances and well wishes from Craig and Wynona as they rolled me out of the room and took me to face my fears of claustrophobia? George walked alongside me, quiet, obviously lost in his own thoughts.

Let’s pause this right here and allow me to look at a not-so-pretty truth for the sake of being able to move forward more confidently and assuredly. See, already this year, I have a yearning for a do-over! There I go again, jumping ahead.  I can only say this from looking backwards a few days. See, I can’t help but know if I would have opened up His Love Letters, I may have rested better. I think I may have experienced a spiritual REM! See, REM is that rest that brings healing, and honestly, between you and me, I wasn’t resting completely. I kept yearning for answers so the nightmare would be over; looking ahead to what I felt needed my attention. I wasn’t taking Him at His Word, claiming His promises for me. I mean, in my heart, I knew He was with me, and yet, the hospital lay between Him and me. I hope that’s clearer than mud!

So the ride to the procedure was uneventful, that is until they took me outside and across this little bridge-like construction site. I don’t even watch horror movies, but trust me when I say I was getting closer to terrorized by the second! We made it over the construction site and to the left was this big door with this big red and black sign on it: DANGER!

Are you serious? Where in the world are they taking me? The nurse put the brake on as she reached to open the door and there stood a guy younger than my son, waiting for me! Talk about creepy! She released the brake and wheeled me into the cage-like room and there again, was another door, the same sign!

Before I knew what hit me, the nurse was gone and this young guy opened the door. What loomed right in front of me made my breath get stuck in my throat! I can't do this . . . but He can!
Join me Monday for more of this medical melodrama!

In the grip of His grace, trying not to white knuckle through the ride,

Evinda