Welcome to my 2nd Foster’s Faith-Filled Friday @
Coffee Hour and Trench Classes United. Come in for some conversation…I’m
talking to myself but He answers me!
How Do I Remain Open To Love And Also guard my heart?
So let me give you a brief rundown on my love life (or lack
thereof). I'm not known for having the greatest "picker" in the past,
I've had my fair shares of "what the heck was I thinking" but also
had my moment where I found out what love is. Let's start with my son’s father:
him and I, well we loved each other but I never felt like either of us experienced
being “in love,” and that's okay! We work well together as friends and co-parents;
we have an understanding of each other’s boundaries.
After Hunter’s dad, I dated a couple guys and within a couple
months, well, they ended. I was always wondering why me? Why can't I find the
right guy, that is until I met my last boyfriend. The all around good guy who
loved me and my son more than himself; and I thought wow I finally found love.
We dated for almost two years before we split and I was
devastated nonetheless, I was lost to say the least. It took 6 months before I
realized I had no real concept of my self-worth. I was always wanting -- let's
call him "Josh" -- to validate me and it was a task no one should
ever have to face. Why? Because he would never be able to do that and it wasn't
his job! So after about 6 months I finally came to peace with the fact that it
was over and would never work out. That was a sad day, right?
Wrong! In the midst of that dark breakup I realized I needed to
find myself, love myself, in order for any man to satisfy my emotional needs, I
needed to be genuinely happy with who I am as a woman. Not that fake, I'll post
a cute Facebook status to convince everyone I'm happy with myself, but be so
content with where the Lord has brought me out of and the woman I'm evolving
into each day.
So now I'm "considering" becoming emotionally
available right...but how do I become open to love and also protect myself and
my heart?
Here’s the thing about dating in an emotionally healthy way: It’s
important to make sure that your emotional relationship is growing
proportionally to your level of commitment.
Just a few things, in my opinion to avoid at the early stages of
dating....
1.
Praying together- I know I know, Breanna, you are crazy! Hear me
out. When you pray, you become emotionally vulnerable, you pour your heart and
soul out in front of the Lord. Now I'm not saying not to pray for your
relationship or not to seek the Lord’s counsel, just wait to seek it together.
There is an emotional intimacy that is shared in moments like this and that can
bring you deeper then you were meant to go and potentially leave you broken
hearted and spiritually broken.
2. Don't talk about
the future before commitment is confirmed. Dreaming together is fun and it's
sweet but it's also can be damaging. Planning so far in advance too early on in
a relationship puts an added expectation on either party that doesn't need to
be there so early on! Live in the moment, no need to rush!! Remember, where your conversations go, your heart
will follow.
What does that even mean? Guard my heart?
What I'm trying to say is better said by Paul wherein he lays
out in Philippians 4:6-7 : “Do not be anxious about anything, but in
everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be
made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Prayer is the pathway guarding our hearts and minds with Gods
peace. Trusting God, in other words, the key to guarding your heart is to talk
to God about the relationship before you talk to the other person about the
relationship.
I read an article once about those type of suggestions and
thought no way will they affect a me or my relationship long term...and trust
me, they do! For now, I’ll be talking to God about making myself
emotionally available and wait for Him to pick him!
Remember guard your heart!
Breanna
No comments:
Post a Comment