Monday’s Mantra

           Your Brain Only Knows What You Tell It!

Monday, Monday…another new week, a new beginning; a new adventure! Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and Monday’s Mantra @ Trench Classes United. Oh, I can’t wait to share this true story with you about fear. Come on in.

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I took our seven-year-old grandson to the water park in our city. We definitely wanted to get wet and cool off but we just didn’t want to drive all that way to the beach. We gave him a description of the water slides, assuring him it would be fun, appeasing his curiosity. I had never been on them, but hey, they have always looked fun! He was so excited. Oh, the joy of a child! I wish I could bottle it and pour it on myself when he goes home.

When we got there, there was a bit of a hike to the ticket window but we made it! The guy in the booth asked if we were swimming and sliding, or just swimming. “Just swimming for me,” little Bryden said. I was dumbfounded. “You don’t want to go on the slides, buddy?” No, I’m good.” We paid for our swim tickets and the young guy gave us a couple of slide chips and said have him try it and if he likes it, then we’ll upgrade your ticket. What a nice guy, I thought.

We walked toward the beach area and set up our stuff while he jumped into the water, and within seconds he made a couple of new friends. Oh, the innocence of a child that thrusts them into others’ spaces. He can be so joyfully bossy and rambunctious at times and some people just don’t get him!J

George pulled out the water guns and within minutes people on the shore were laughing with us as we aimed at each other and within minutes, we went from dry and hot to wet and cool. After little B got bored with that, we decided to try the water slides –or should I say George decided that I should try them with B.  We raced to the first set of stairs and came to a stop. He looked at me with his brown eyes full of a familiar emotion, fear. “Nana, I don’t want to go on it; it’s too high.” I told him Nana was a bit scared too, but I was going to face my fear and have some fun with him.

I managed to keep him engaged in conversation all the way up to when it was time for me to go – they didn’t allow two to go at once. I assured him that Nana wouldn’t let him do something that would hurt him and told him I’d be waiting at the bottom to catch him. Off I went!

I discovered that the more I sat upright, the slower I went. I was like my own sled, in charge of the speed, and as the end of the slide drew near, I leaned back a bit to pick up the speed and…splash! The little girl in me laughed out loud! And then I waited and waited and waited. I knew in my gut he had decided not to slide down.

I got out and got halfway up the path and there he was, looking defeated with big crocodile tears in his eyes. “What happened, B?” “It’s too high,” he exclaimed. I stood with him for moments that stretched to the height of the long and twisty slide and then I pointed to it, assuring him that it wasn’t any higher than the height of the garage door that he hangs on to as it’s going up! J Yes, he really does that! “The top of it is higher,” he pointed. “Yeah, but not by much, buddy,” I countered back.

We stood there in silence until I turned to go back toward our chairs. “No,” he screamed. “Okay, let’s go try it,” and I headed back up and he followed.

So up again we went and this time he actually started to sit down and then freaked out and stood up and declared he was too scared. The walk back to our chairs was one I’ll never forget. His fear was so real, so overwhelming, it had him all worked up, so worked up that when he said these words, I couldn’t help but smile – inside, of course because I’d never want him to think I was smiling at him. He said: “I wanna do it; it’s just I’m soooooo scared,” he whined, tears beginning to stream down his little sweet face.

“It’s okay, Buddy. If you don’t want to do it, that’s okay. You don’t have to.” I kept reassuring him all the way back to our beach chairs, but it just wasn’t sitting right with him. We got back to George and within 30 seconds, he had papa convinced he’d try it again if only he had the tokens because I had already used one. So he and papa went and talked to the guy at the ticket window and they came back with two more tokens. He convinced me he was going to do it this time. We raced toward the slides.

This time, when we got to the hill that began the ascent toward the slide, and he started to give into his fears again, I stopped him and I bent down and looked him right in his beautiful brown eyes and said: “B, your brain only knows what you tell it. If you continue to repeat that you’re scared, guess what? By the time you get up there, you’ll have scared yourself out of the slide. So beginning with the first step on the stairs I want you to repeat: I’m gonna do this; I can do this; I’m gonna do this; I can do this.”

When I felt his voice disappearing, I reminded him to talk a little louder so he could hear himself. As we climbed up the final steps to the platform of the slide, he tried to give in again but this time I cut him off, reminding him of his new message. We were up next and I really thought he was going to go first, but he begged me to go first. As I sat down, I turned around and said, “Pinky promise you’ll come right behind Nana.” “I promise.” And down I went…needing to tell myself a new message, like he will do it; he’s gonna do it! J

I landed with a happy splash and within seconds I turned to begin to get out and who came splashing down…that’s right, my little B!

Coffee Hour friends, fears are frustrating, and when we give in to them they can be incredibly overwhelming. Maybe it’s time to remember that we can take the power out of fear by Facing Everything And Rising…instead of Fleeing Everything And Running!

Fearlessly,

Evinda