Hello everyone and welcome
back to our Trench Truth Thursday.
For three weeks now, I have
been sick. I just cannot seem to kick this. I have never spent so much on cough
syrup, cough drops. Chronic coughing all the time till the point you feel like
you could faint is so hard to do hour after hour, day after day and week after
week. I started feeling like I had a little energy a few days ago and my cough
got just a little better but then it bounced back with a vengeance. Trying to
work like this has been incredibly difficult when you drive all night long.
The other night, I had to
pull over because of a coughing spell wherein I coughed steadily for several
minutes straight, I jumped out of my car with major anxiety and I took to
prayer. To be honest, I don't know if that's what you could call it. I asked
God why He wasn’t giving me some relief; that I was really starting to get
upset. I hurt everywhere and my ribs feel like I went rounds with Mike Tyson. What
adds to my frustration is the lack of help from the VA Hospital It’s as if no
one is listening there. Anyways, let me get back to my conversation with God.
Please help me; bring me just
a little relief, I cried out.
And just like that, my
thoughts returned to something I wrote last year about how every breath is
special in life. I still feel that way. But when breathing actually hurts I
must say it challenges one's own words and belief about each and every one of
those breaths. I caught myself thinking maybe it's ok to not have to love each
and every breath. My mindset has always been about trying to challenge myself
to appreciate life no matter what is happening, because I know how special it
is.
But maybe it's ok to
just not have to be responsible for every breath. Maybe that's God's lesson is
in this. The hardest thing to try and grasp is why He heals some and some don’t
get their healing here in this life. Maybe I should ask Him for strength to get
this instead of trying so hard to understand why I’m going through it.
Coffee Hour Friend and
Trencher, can I ask you to pray for me? Pray that I would be given the strength
to endure all that life is sending my way..
Much love everyone.
John Tam
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