- Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...
Have you ever studied for a test that was beyond important because passing would mean greater things? Now, I don’t know about you, but when it comes to taking tests, I inhale vigorously, and I mean vigorously. I’ll never forget taking my CSR exam, not once, but twice. The written part was nowhere near as nerve-racking as the machine part was, but nonetheless, I was a wreck as I sat for an hour and a half, skipping the questions that didn’t come right to mind, answering the ones that did, and then going back to see if the section of my brain where those answers were stored had turned on yet.
I think it would have been devastating to have had a movie of my machine portion of the test. Seriously! I remember it as if it were yesterday. I was like a horse with the reigns pulled tight and waiting for the whistle to blow, or the dictation to start. And then, once it did, instead of coming right out of the gate with my hands on the keyboard, calm and responding to the words that echoed from the platform, into my brain, out through my arms and then through my fingers, causing just the right keys to press down and make their imprint, I looked like a girl with Cerebral Palsy. My hands began to shake fast and furious and I bet they hit every key at once every time they finally made it to the keyboard while the words went flying by me! Is it any wonder I didn’t pass the first time?
The second time wasn’t near as bad, but it could have been. I remember the shattering shaking beginning and I looked up and literally whispered “You promised.” Is this what Peter felt like when he was on the boat while the sea raged all around them, threatening to capsize the boat and swallow each of them alive? I experienced a sort of shocked confusion, just like Peter must have, not understanding why Jesus could sleep through his storm, and me not understanding why I was shaking so badly when I had prayed so much. And then, just like Jesus calmed the sea back then, He calmed my hands and the shakes were gone. I finished the test, and I passed.
But this test that I was currently undergoing in my
marriage was never-ending, like the longest exam I’ve ever had to take
and it wasn’t letting up. It was grueling in a groaning sort of way, but I was determined to put into practice all He had been showing me, while do all I could to not take back some of the bad habits of co-dependent behavior that He had taken from me. Lighter moments
I mean, the results of this test would show exactly where the rubber was meeting the road, would reveal where my patience was being stretched and my heart purified. This test was so different from the test I finally feel I'm doing well in, with parenting Bryden; this was involving a different part of my heart, one that had failed before and more than once. During this test, I became a major stockholder in Spandex to increase my endurance within the matrimony of covenant. This was like training for a marathon, which I had never done. I’ve only done a 10k!
That may sound like an incredible exaggeration to you, but coming from what I’ve come from, overcoming all that He’s helped me overcome, this is no exaggeration, trust me. How do I know? Because the old Evinda would have left the first day of this 30-day trial with no desire to finish the marathon of marriage!
Join me tomorrow for more victories in this life-changing series,
Running the race while clutching the memories in my heart,
Evinda
- Nana Holds!
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