Nana Holds

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Thank you for joining me for what has turned out to be the longest blog ever! I hope you are enjoying this true story and that some part of my transparency is encouraging you in whatever you may be walking through. Grab your coffee and let’s get back to our house with Bryden, his daddy, George and me.
In the days that followed, I was learning to go to Bryce with things that I wanted addressed instead of asking George to do it. Oh, how I wish I would have known then what I know now. Like father, like son. Neither one of them likes to be questioned, or asked to do something they don’t want to do, but there’s an explanation for it now. Unfortunately, I didn’t know it then so I spent many mornings anguishing over my relationships with each of them. How can you be a peace maker, let alone a happy camper, in your own home when you feel so disliked, alienated?
You work through it; that’s how.
I sought out counsel from Steve nearly every Monday in that 30-day trial, owning what was rightfully mine so I could let go of it and be free from behavior that appeared in the slightest as controlling or manipulative. I had to learn to struggle as Bryce voiced his opinions about feeling like he was back at Teen Challenge just because I laid down some boundaries in the form of requests, simple requests that involved communication, especially as it related to Bryden – which is not his strength – picking up after himself and participation/courtesy for his roommates, us! What I did realize at this moment of this painful trial is my husband was unable to do this for us so I had to do it for me. The trick: to do it without attitude and as I look back through my journal of those first days in this trial, I did have victory! I shared what I needed to be comfortable with him back at home.
The flesh in us would say, too darned bad; those are the rules of the house and if you don’t like it . . . But let me give you a huge piece of this puzzle that adds so much clarity now, a piece that God handed me through George and a relationship class our ministry started several months after this 30-day trial. Actually, it’s a piece clumped together with a couple of others, so let’s see if I can describe it in words.

Bryden, he was/is a reason to smile

George was one of eight children. He describes his childhood as happy. He came and went as he pleased. He never had a curfew, never had to sneak out because he “was one of eight” and his dad worked 12-16 hour days and his mom worked two jobs. “My parents loved us,” he shared with me. And I agree; they definitely did all they could to provide for each of their children and that is a way to show love.
Do you see what was missing from his childhood? And he also has loved his son Bryce with an incredible love that only a father can express. Is it any wonder that neither one of them like to be questioned, requested nor have anything insisted upon them? Knowing what has been missing has actually brought me freedom to bring that very piece to the table in a loving and gentle way.
Oh, the transformation process . . . not without a cost, but absolutely indescribable. Join me tomorrow for more of Nana Holds.
Evinda

Nana Holds!

P.S. Join us for Blog Talk Radio and our new segment on relationships entitled: Why We Love How We Love! Are you doing the crazy dance with your significant other, or are you in sync? We will give some scenarios of some crazy dances caused from imprints that keep you dancing apart instead of together. This 30 minute segment is equivalent to a free relationship dance instruction! www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power