Even When I Fail, He is Faithful-February’s WOW-Part 3

Thanks so much for taking a little coffee break with me today. Grab your coffee and let’s get back to this dilemma of an apparent angry agency owner, two attorneys, and me, the baffled court reporter on the phone with Christie, the office manager for the firm we were working for!

Christie remembered me right away, but we both knew we needed to get right to the problem. She repeated what my office manager had said; that Counsel had set it up. It was obvious she was frustrated as well, and within a few seconds, I could tell this was becoming a blame game but all I wanted to do was solve the problem, find a place for the deposition to take place and take names later. I mean as the minutes are ticking, so is the doctor’s fee, who had just walked in, right smack in the middle of all this.

Suddenly, I had Christie in one ear telling me to talk to Mr. W about getting another conference room and then here comes the agency owner walking like a bull in a china cabinet. In a gruff and demanding tone she says: “I have another business right there. You need to come down here,” and as the reality of her harshness hit me, I was grappling with my other ear, trying to listen to Christie. Apparently, I wasn’t moving  fast enough because she repeated herself! Are you kidding me?

A hot flash threatened to break out and I mentally counted to three as I walked forward. “Christie, I’m so sorry, could you say that again, please? I couldn’t hear you because I’m being scolded and told to move from where I was standing.” What I was really thinking was: you just want to hear my conversation!

About that time here comes the doctor we are supposed to depose. As he walks toward me he hears the angry agency owner who apparently didn’t like the word “scolded” so she proceeded to turn her back on me and announce to all of us that she wasn’t scolding me; she has another business she’s trying to run.

Well, I could go all day about suppositions and accusations, but I won’t because two wrongs don’t make a right. I got off the phone with Christie, shook the doctor’s hand. He smiled at me and lifted his eyebrows as if to say, “What in the world …” He did say, “I’ll be right back,” and he walked into her office.

In the meantime, I told both attorneys I’d see about using a conference room from my friend’s agency if they wanted to. My client voiced his appreciation and said let’s see what the doctor says.
A few minutes later the doctor came out and announced we were driving to downtown Claremont to his friends’ office who was also an attorney. And then here she came to make her final announcement, not an apology, an announcement. She began to reiterate her policies but what she said next really pushed a button. With me standing directly across from her, she said, as if I wasn’t there: “Your court reporter said I was scolding her and I wasn’t scolding her. I was merely asking her to move so my other business wasn’t bothered.

I interrupted her and in a calm but firm voice I said: “Excuse me. You don’t have to talk about me as if I’m not here. I am standing right in front of you.”
“Well, I wasn’t scolding you,” she retorted.

My voice suddenly raised about a half octave from before: “Yes, you did. Listen to your tone right now. Why do you have to be so mean?” I turned my back, caught my client’s eyes, and the doctor’s and began to walk down the hall. I was so overwhelmed with what had just happened. Never in 22 years of reporting had I come across any agency owner like that. The most important thing was to get the deposition taken, for the sake of the doctor and the two attorneys, not just our client.
I was shaken up to say the least, and as the picture comes to life once again and I look at it from the outside in, I can learn from it and recognize these things:

1. When dealing with an unreasonable person, do not expect anything but unreasonableness.
2. When I engage with an unreasonable person, I only add a huge log to the fire which will now threaten to burn out of control.
3. My opinions, my expectations born out of my flesh cannot change that unreasonable person.
4. And lastly, I do not need to use my opinions and expectations to defend myself for though my flesh and my heart fail, God will continue to be the strength of my heart and my portion forever!

Incidentally, we did get the deposition completed and the doctor admitted that he had never seen her behave like that before. He even apologized for her, calling her behavior uncalled for, and then he added: Maybe she was just having a bad day! Ugh, more salt to flavor this lesson! The next morning in my quiet time, as I was working in my “Becoming a Woman of Freedom” study, I came upon this verse! God is so faithful, even when my flesh and heart fail!

Make it a great day!

Evinda

February 6th, 2013 Even When I Fail, He is Faithful-February’s Wow Part 2

Thanks so much for taking the time to join me for a little break at Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. Grab your coffee and come on in. I have a bit of real-life drama to share with you that He is using to refine me. I pray that as I share, the sparks from the refining process will ignite something spiritually significant for you!

I had received my job assignment the night before – I am a freelance court reporter — and as soon as I heard the location, there was a little nudge of uneasiness in my spirit. See, the job was at another court reporting agency, and in court reporting etiquette, a court reporter from one agency does not show up to report a deposition at another court reporting agency, unless it’s a network job. I squashed the uneasiness down, telling myself to chillax. At least I was working.

The other disconcerting thing is it was in a bad part of town, downtown Pomona off of Garey Avenue. As I pulled up, I was a bit shocked at how rundown the building looked and how hard I had to look for their sign to make sure I was at the right place. If I had to compare it to something, I’d say it looked more like a bar instead of a professional building. That’s what I love about my job; all the culture I experience!

Anyway, I walked in, and the inside looked about as bad as the outside, dark, dungy and a bit oppressive now that I think about it. The lady at the front was in what looked like a cage, or a barricade, probably for safety reasons! She must have seen me pulling my court reporting case because she didn’t even greet me; she just directed me down the hall, “straight ahead, then turn right.”

As I turned right, I saw one attorney sitting down and a lady standing at the door of her office and I could tell immediately by her body language and her tone of voice she was using with this attorney that something was wrong. I sat like a fly on the wall for a moment to listen to the obvious problem and then I heard: “I never heard anything about this. The only time we allow another court reporter that isn’t from our agency to report in our conference room is if it’s a network job.”
I mentally flew off the wall and joined the conversation: “Actually, I think this may be a network job.”

Like a snake that suddenly came upon some unsuspecting prey, she turned her head toward me and spat: “No, it isn’t a network job. All network jobs go through me.”

As I wiped her venom off  of me, I looked at the other attorney and calmly said: Let me call my office. I stepped down the hall a few steps and called my office manager and after putting me on hold for a few seconds, she came back on and explained that our client had arranged it. Then she informed me that she had Christie, the office manager for our client’s firm on the line.

When I heard her say “Christie,” I got excited because I didn’t know she was still with this firm and we go a long way back to when we used to sell Creative Memories together and do scrap-booking. In fact, she’s the one who got me started in that fun hobby. I knew we couldn’t get in a “remember when” conversation; no, that would have to be for another day . . .

Join me tomorrow for more of this real life blooper that led me to these words of wisdom!

Evinda

Nana Holds

Thanks for joining me today for Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. I know it can be difficult to stop and take a break and tune it all out, but it’s good to feed your soul so you can keep going and wearing all the hats you wear, girlfriend! Grab your coffee and come on in.

The next memorable thing that happened, albeit not necessarily a good one, is the conversation we had with bio mom’s parents after the court hearing. We boldly stated that they were more than welcome to come and visit Bryden in our home but he would not be going on any overnights with them until the Court determined visitation. We explained that their daughter requested this because of his alcoholism and her mom’s struggle with depression, self-medicating and pot smoking.

Okay. I just heard a little warning signal. Please know I’m not bringing all this out to bash them in any way; Lord knows I’ve had my share of junk that He has helped me unpack and is still unpacking. This is part of the story, and part of what we are up against. When people are in their diseases and bondages, they don’t even know they are! It is what it is and being Bry’s temporary guardians, we need to protect him as much as possible from the baggage so he doesn’t wind up packed in it!

I was the one who got to break the news to them, actually him because he kept blowing up my phone. I remember being very matter-of-fact, and as he verbally bashed his daughter, I reminded him it was their fight, not ours. One of the last things I told him was, I believed God could use this to bring healing to their relationship, to build a bridge that had broken down by all their physical confrontations and verbal beatings that would scar for a lifetime if left inside and not surrendered and forgiven.

Well, that conversation went over about as good as a fart in church! Bio mom was happy but her parents were like bees swarming around someone upsetting their nest. About two weeks later, we were served with papers. They had hired an attorney to gain visitation rights that would be appearing for them at our court hearing on September 24th!

Join me tomorrow for more drama . . .

Smiling inside,

Evinda