Faith Filled Fridays From Croley’s Corner of Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

I love you, Lord! You answered my prayers. You paid attention to me, and so I will pray to you as long as I live. Psalm 116:1, 2

It’s Friday and I’m so glad you’ve joined me at Coffee Hour. As I look back on this week I marvel at the insight from Jenn Lea and Evinda’s blogs. You certainly know the wisdom of the Lord that pours from their hearts. Such comfort in knowing He communicates through many who care for each one of us in our journey, so it’s not by happenstance you stopped by today. Grab your coffee or tea, and your journal as we begin to search our hearts when it cries out!! 

Not long ago I had a breach in a relationship; hard as it was I knew that I had to rely on God to get me through it. I have never been one that likes confrontations, yet I know they come into our lives for a purpose not only to teach us the ways of Him but also for others who too may be wrestling with certain struggles in their own lives. God works so differently in us all, yet He always wants what’s best for us and what brings Him glory. So often when our hearts are heavy or in pain, we run to friends or family members pouring out our hearts! I too have done the same and I’ve also been told I have broad shoulders to cry on, now and then.

Certainly I have the qualifications to give wise counsel; however, I still only know in part and though the motives of my heart may be right, it’s just not possible to have all the answers and to know all things.

We find in Psalm 139 God’s perfect knowledge of man. Wow, how exciting to know that He is always aware and knows of our existence and situations we face. His word specifically tells us that He looks deep into our hearts and certainly knows the very deepest chambers of our souls! He knows when we’re resting and when we’re working.

Imagine every phase of our lives is like a big screen to Him, He sees it all. I’m so glad He doesn’t change the channel. He understands our thoughts from heaven. When we feel unprotected, His powerful arm hedges us from every side; and even before we speak a word He knows what we will say!  How comforting that should be to us; for no one I know has that kind of knowledge of me, even my husband of 43 years.

In my times of struggle I wanted to reached for my phone to call for wise counsel (Proverbs 11:14) and in that desperate time I truly only needed a word from the Lord. I needed comfort, healing and instruction, rather than from those whose concern for me may have been merely an emotionally answer and sometimes honestly our emotions can get the best of us. Let us not be hasty in our actions and seek for an immediate response.

He is our life line and He truly has our best interest at hand. He gives us answers to our situations when we don’t understand or see what we may be facing. He won’t steer us wrong or give us an answer that engages with our emotions.  During these times we must NOT lean on our understanding or on others....yet we MUST lean on Him until we receive an answer and our hearts are comforted enough to continue to walk in the plans and path He has for us. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Remember He is closer than a friend and He is not only waiting but wanting to hear from you in order to answer your hearts cry.  In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Psalm 18:6

Life has been a bit rocky yet my hope is anchored in Him that He is working everything out for not only my good but for the good of others as well! James 3:17

Have a great week and remember to keep Him close to your heart….love your friends…. More so, love on your family….God entrusted them in your life for a reason...seek out wise counsel but know ultimately He is your wise counsel with great advice!!!

Love,

Deb

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy day to you, and thanks so much for joining me for more of the Seven Sacrifices to Joy! Can you believe it; we are on sacrifice number six! Grab your coffee and your Strand of Faith and let’s go talk about an attitude of gratitude, aka, thanksgiving!

The sixth sacrifice is thanksgiving and kind of works like the sacrifice of joy. What I mean by that is thanksgiving, an attitude of gratitude works like joy in that it can pull us up and out of the murky pits of sadness, depression, frustration and even anger. Much like joy, a sacrifice of thanksgiving is made easier when we stay in touch -- and pardon the pun -- with our five senses. I have learned, finally, that there is always something to be thankful for, truly! Psalm 107:1 tells us to give thanks to God for His steadfast love endures forever … that’s a promise in and through any circumstance which challenges your faith, your joy, your ability to give thanks!

My leadership team and I planned something really thought-and thankful-provoking for the last class of Transform I and I gave it the title of problem swapping. Here’s how it worked: First, in their group times, they were asked what their perspective was on trusting God. Then they were each given an index card to write their current problem that they were going through. I encouraged them that if there were more than one, to write the biggest one, the one really making life difficult for them. Then, on the backside, they were to write how they were going to trust God in that problem for the solution to that problem, based on their perspective of what it means to trust God. At the end of the class, everyone had to put their problem on the table and then we formed a circle. One by one, they came forward, grabbed a card/problem and read aloud the problem, thus sharing it with the group, which means we were learning how to share our burdens. Then they were to turn the card over for the perspective on how to trust God in the problem for the solution to the problem.

There were many “problems” revealed that helped each one of us to not only empathize with the person going thru what they were, but give us an attitude of gratitude for our own problem that may have seemed a bit easier. While the problems were anonymous, I encouraged everyone to take the card/problem home and pray for that person with that problem. It was incredibly powerful, and helped each one of us find something to be thankful about/for. It was such an amazingly powerful moment…made sweeter by each offer of thanksgiving.

We can change our attitude with a dose of gratitude! When we exchange complaining for gratitude, He changes our perspective and increases our faith. When a sacrifice of thanksgiving becomes an accompaniment to any of the sacrifices, its power is doubled, granting us smooth sailing through chaotic storms. Oh, what a feeling, to have peace in chaos! And just think, we have that ability within us to change the power of the storm … by offering up a Sacrifice of Thanksgiving.

Thanking Him while in the storm will enable us to thank Him for the storm! After all, He’s the ultimate Captain of our ship as we go through the waves of change and challenge. Will we let Him drive, thus experience peace and ensuring our safe arrival, or will we try and take the wheel al the while white-knuckling it through the changes and challenges, wondering whether we will land or capsize?

His grace and mercy are increased by our offering up a Sacrifice of Thanksgiving. The worst thing that can happen is your faith will increase, and your entire outlook on this journey of life will change as you learn to be content in all circumstances! And who doesn’t enjoy being around a content person? After all, the price paid for yours and my contentment … whew, well that’s something to be thankful for!

Join me next week as we go to and through the seventh sacrifice and be sure and join us tomorrow for Croley’s Corner @ Chicklit Power for Faith-Filled Friday!

Evinda

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for coming to share your coffee break with me and more of this sweet series. I still can’t help but be amazed with the changes in my heart since I wrote the very first blog of Nana Holds. God is so good, so faithful, working all things to our good and His glory. Grab your coffee and come on in.

I began to look forward to our Sundays which began with church, breakfast, maybe a quick grocery shopping trip before heading off to spend a few hours with Bryce at the Castle in Riverside and in between all of that were many special moments.

We normally park in the same place for church – my husband is such a creature of habit! He likes to park in a place that he won’t get door-dinged so he usually parks on the street. I can hear Bryden’s words as soon as he touches the concrete sidewalk: “Wet’s run, Nana; Wet’s run,” and off we’d go, running down the sidewalk and onto the church property, in the back door and down the hall, right to his little class. And he wouldn’t even stop to collect a hug or a kiss, let alone $200!  He went right in and would always begin to play with the other children.

After church, if we go to breakfast, it’s usually the same place, Gus’s in Redlands. Lo’ and behold, we’d always order the same thing: Bryden loves their pancakes and while we still couldn’t get him to eat eggs, this is where Bryden tried something else besides pancakes: bacon, and he liked it, or as he says, “I wike it!”

Bryden in sugar heaven!

After breakfast, we’d head for Stater Brothers for our weekly grocery shopping. Herein lay some habits that make me smile, like running through the parking lot to the entrance. Part of my maternal instinct is screaming at the child in me raring to join him; and I finally, I quiet the screaming mama and throw caution, not completely to the wind, but enough to enable myself to join him. Don’t panic; of course I stay somewhat ahead of him to protect him from unseen cars.

Once inside, he and papa go to the same place to look for the car shopping cart. He’d much rather ride in a car than in the top little shelf inside the grocery shopping cart. Usually we score, and shopping is a bit easier with him safe and sound in the cab. Don’t tell him, but I like this because he doesn’t seem to see as many things that he has to have, cookies, candy, toys, et cetera.  Speaking of cookies, that’s also become one of our habits; we buy Oreo cookies, yep, uh-huh, a pack every two weeks. I know; someone call the sugar police on me, please!  But, in my defense, I’ve learned to use them to not just our advantage, but his as well.

I hear you thinking, so let me answer your questions before you ask. “Bryden, when” – and I try not to say if – “you eat your dinner, you get two cookies.” Guess who more often than not eats all his dinner, including his veggies? Give up?

Join me Thursday for a journal entry which includes more memories with all three of our grandchildren that make me smile and squeeze my heart.

Evinda

Nana Holds!

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks so much for coming back for more of these life-changing moments in this season of Nana Holds.

By now, we are six, almost seven months into this season of parenting/grand-parenting Bryden, and none of us are the same! It’s almost Christmastime; he’s just about potty-trained, both number one and two. Consequently, his piggy-bank is getting full and ours is emptying! Clean pants and a full bank, what a winning combination!

George and I are learning the skill of teamwork – and until this circumstance, I had no idea that we weren’t really functioning as a team and that we had so much to learn in this area. I can’t help but shake my head and chuckle at His sense of humor and how He uses all things for all things! Talk about multi-tasking!

By this time, I definitely am getting used to all the changes that have occurred and I am not harboring any resentment or holding on to bitter waiting for things to get better. I am, as has been the case since the beginning, growing in my circumstance, learning to live outside it instead of it consuming me. But I still had a long way to go in the area of relating instead of just functioning — of course I didn’t realize it; I thought I was doing pretty well but I’ll explain that one later! 

I know I’ve already mentioned in prior coffee hours that Bryden wanted a backpack and a lunch pail for big-boy school, which is the key we used to turn on his little switch from pants to potty. So we knew we were going to get him his

Papa, Bryden and his bawoon!

backpack and lunch pail for Christmas. We kept talking up big boy school, especially after receiving word that we were no longer on the waiting list and he was now officially registered and would begin big boy school January 4th!

So there was that countdown. Thinking about his enthusiasm squeezes my heart with such joy for two reasons: the first being that I can finally recognize his childlike enthusiasm and revel in it, be part of it and appreciate it; and two, I loved and still do love knowing that George and I are part of his enthusiasm; that God chose us to help build his little foundation into something big and strong for his later years moves me so far from myself and to a person I know He is transforming into His likeness every day I share with Bryden.

It has been so many years since I have experienced such a special Christmas. It was like Abba was bringing out the little girl in me by bringing this little boy to us to love and nurture as parents. One of my fondest memories about the whole Christmas season was watching him watch the commercials. Have you ever noticed all the toy commercials they play on T.V. around the holiday season? Actually, the season gets earlier and earlier, but that’s a different blog for a different coffee hour.

I could be in the kitchen preparing dinner or in the laundry room folding clothes and all of a sudden I’d hear the sweetest voice ever say: “Nana, I get one of those for Christmas? Nana, can I have one of those for my birthday?”

Yes, he was already asking for gifts for his birthday because he knew it was shortly after Christmas! No matter where my head was , what I was thinking or feeling, what kind of a day I had had, that innocent voice pleading for a new toy could and would always pull me to him!

Embracing the revelations filled with His love,

Evinda

Nana Holds!

P.S. Don’t forget to join us today, if you are able, for our Blog Talk Radio show airing live at 1:00 Pacific time. If you can’t join us then, simply click on the link and download on your Itunes! www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power

Faith-Filled Friday @ Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me for our Faith-Filled Friday! I am looking forward to discovering things from the Hall of Faith that strengthen your faith and mine. Let’s grab our coffee and our faith and begin.

We are finally at the actual recorded Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11! Let me tell you, I hope you are hungry! Grab a big plate and some good utensils to feast with because there is a lot of meat here! I’m sure we’ll find our vegetables and lots of sweetness along the way as well. 

So the very first portion/verse says that “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” And what’s the difference between faith and hope? Hope is innate while faith is His gift to us upon confessing that we are a sinner in need of a savior! Even an atheist has an inclination toward hoping for certain things.

Have you ever witnessed hope come to life in the midst of a tragedy? Recently, a friend of mine who is a sweet sister in the Lord experienced tragedy in her family and it involved her nephew. He had been involved in a serious car accident that left him with extensive brain damage. Death was knocking on his door. While he lay in a coma, many of his family members surrounded him, cemented by his bedside with hope. I don’t know how many or who of those in his family were at that moment in their lives without a relationship with Christ, but when this young man showed signs of actually feeling pain, their hope was renewed that maybe, just maybe death would leave and life would remain intact.

Their hope turned them toward the possibility of faith in Christ. Were they searching more for a miracle than they were for the miracle maker? That’s not for you or me to ascertain; it was just a reminder to me that often, for a nonbeliever, hope stirs up our faith. And for those of us who have been walking with the Author of our Faith for awhile, the reverse is also true: Faith reminds us to hope and in “Whom” to hope!

What is an example of “the evidence of things not seen”? Well, in fact, every example in the Hall of Faith is unseen by us, but our faith accepts each example in the Hall of Faith as true. We know and understand that the common thread in the Hall of Faith is the Author of their faith.

But let’s narrow the lens to things not seen in this life, our here and now. The very first thing that comes to mind is redemption. Another is transformation. Redemption and transformation are not physical things that we can grasp with our physical eyes; but they are the evidence of things seen with the eyes of our heart.

As I shared in the beginning of this series, my faith wasn’t just born full-grown and adult-like. I didn’t have that miraculous introduction where I came to Jesus and immediately had no more junk and was free from myself! No, He’s taken me through an unpacking process, to and through some things to strengthen, refine and purify my faith. And all the while, He remained behind the scenes, unseen.

Just because I can’t physically see Him working, the eyes of my heart are opened to His working all things together for my good and His glory, thus fulfilling His promise: to build me up and not tear me down, to give me a future . . .

What about you; what is He doing for you behind the scenes that can’t be seen with your physical eyes but you know in your heart you see?

Join me next Friday for more of this faith-filled series!

Evinda

Love Thoughts to Ponder-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thank you for joining me for a little coffee break today. I don’t know about you, but little breaks throughout the day go a long way in keeping me going. Since it’s the week of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d bring some thoughts of love to ponder, thoughts that I have as a result of a passage of scripture I was reading just last week. Grab your coffee and come on in.

So what is “true” love, anyway? I remember when I was younger, when there was many more pieces of junk in my trunk than there are now, chasing it as if it were a butterfly never to be captured…. That is until I ran smack into Jesus by coming to the end of myself. What I mean is He met me where I collapsed and as a matter of fact, it was in my season of singleness! Since then, we’ve unpacked an awful lot of junk, junk that interfered with me truly receiving, let alone honestly giving, that thing called love.

Ever so patiently, He began to show me love in ways that I would understand it and as I become less ensnared by the effects of my past, His love no longer feels elusive, un-imaginable or too hard to comprehend. That’s not to say I’ve arrived when it comes to this powerful force of love, but I feel as though I am getting closer to discovering its depth, purity and honesty that I may bask in it instead of continue to run from it.

See, love is not a feeling, but a choice. True love is not something that gives you butterflies in your stomach, and it is not something that we can actually chase, possess and hold captive. Love is also something we can’t give or even receive on our own.

Now I don’t mean to confuse you, so let me try to clear it up for you with a couple of passages I was reading as I was working in my Becoming a Woman of Freedom Book. This first passage is actually the World’s best kept secret about love:

Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him/her, and he/she in God. And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him/her.

But what if you don’t believe or you just can’t grasp this concept?

Join me Wednesday and I’ll try and answer that transparently!

In His Love,

Evinda


P.S. Join us today at 1:00 PST for our Blog Talk Radio Breaking Free from Co-dependency!

Power Friday @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to our Power Friday at Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power. Grab your coffee and come on in.

When I think about my own recovery from co-dependency, more times than I care to admit, I groan within, wondering if I will ever get it right, ever be free from it. But then He does something in His own sovereign way: splashes me with perspective as I read His Word, or maybe He will use another one of His own to send me a message of encouragement or sometimes, He just gives me a one-liner that catches my attention. That one-liner will run around in my head for a few, travel down to my mouth where I will chew on it a bit, and by the time it reaches my heart to go on down to be digested, I am encouraged and reminded that He who began a new work will be faithful to complete it until the time of Christ Jesus.

See even when I am filled with doubt, He’s still got the brush in His hand, painting on the canvass of my life but I get this picture that He has to splash a different color on what He’s painting to represent that present doubt, but then suddenly mid-stroke, He swooshes and revives my faith and the color changes. It has to because just as the light sends the dark scurrying off, active faith chases doubt away.

Yes, as long as I am showing up, He will continue the painting of my life, one brushstroke at a time, adding more of the color of faith than doubt because as long as I am alive, I will continue to seek Him for true recovery to break free from the chains of do-dependency until I am co-dependent no more – except on Him.

Breaking free,

Evinda

Even When I Fail, He is Faithful-February’s WOW-Part 3

Thanks so much for taking a little coffee break with me today. Grab your coffee and let’s get back to this dilemma of an apparent angry agency owner, two attorneys, and me, the baffled court reporter on the phone with Christie, the office manager for the firm we were working for!

Christie remembered me right away, but we both knew we needed to get right to the problem. She repeated what my office manager had said; that Counsel had set it up. It was obvious she was frustrated as well, and within a few seconds, I could tell this was becoming a blame game but all I wanted to do was solve the problem, find a place for the deposition to take place and take names later. I mean as the minutes are ticking, so is the doctor’s fee, who had just walked in, right smack in the middle of all this.

Suddenly, I had Christie in one ear telling me to talk to Mr. W about getting another conference room and then here comes the agency owner walking like a bull in a china cabinet. In a gruff and demanding tone she says: “I have another business right there. You need to come down here,” and as the reality of her harshness hit me, I was grappling with my other ear, trying to listen to Christie. Apparently, I wasn’t moving  fast enough because she repeated herself! Are you kidding me?

A hot flash threatened to break out and I mentally counted to three as I walked forward. “Christie, I’m so sorry, could you say that again, please? I couldn’t hear you because I’m being scolded and told to move from where I was standing.” What I was really thinking was: you just want to hear my conversation!

About that time here comes the doctor we are supposed to depose. As he walks toward me he hears the angry agency owner who apparently didn’t like the word “scolded” so she proceeded to turn her back on me and announce to all of us that she wasn’t scolding me; she has another business she’s trying to run.

Well, I could go all day about suppositions and accusations, but I won’t because two wrongs don’t make a right. I got off the phone with Christie, shook the doctor’s hand. He smiled at me and lifted his eyebrows as if to say, “What in the world …” He did say, “I’ll be right back,” and he walked into her office.

In the meantime, I told both attorneys I’d see about using a conference room from my friend’s agency if they wanted to. My client voiced his appreciation and said let’s see what the doctor says.
A few minutes later the doctor came out and announced we were driving to downtown Claremont to his friends’ office who was also an attorney. And then here she came to make her final announcement, not an apology, an announcement. She began to reiterate her policies but what she said next really pushed a button. With me standing directly across from her, she said, as if I wasn’t there: “Your court reporter said I was scolding her and I wasn’t scolding her. I was merely asking her to move so my other business wasn’t bothered.

I interrupted her and in a calm but firm voice I said: “Excuse me. You don’t have to talk about me as if I’m not here. I am standing right in front of you.”
“Well, I wasn’t scolding you,” she retorted.

My voice suddenly raised about a half octave from before: “Yes, you did. Listen to your tone right now. Why do you have to be so mean?” I turned my back, caught my client’s eyes, and the doctor’s and began to walk down the hall. I was so overwhelmed with what had just happened. Never in 22 years of reporting had I come across any agency owner like that. The most important thing was to get the deposition taken, for the sake of the doctor and the two attorneys, not just our client.
I was shaken up to say the least, and as the picture comes to life once again and I look at it from the outside in, I can learn from it and recognize these things:

1. When dealing with an unreasonable person, do not expect anything but unreasonableness.
2. When I engage with an unreasonable person, I only add a huge log to the fire which will now threaten to burn out of control.
3. My opinions, my expectations born out of my flesh cannot change that unreasonable person.
4. And lastly, I do not need to use my opinions and expectations to defend myself for though my flesh and my heart fail, God will continue to be the strength of my heart and my portion forever!

Incidentally, we did get the deposition completed and the doctor admitted that he had never seen her behave like that before. He even apologized for her, calling her behavior uncalled for, and then he added: Maybe she was just having a bad day! Ugh, more salt to flavor this lesson! The next morning in my quiet time, as I was working in my “Becoming a Woman of Freedom” study, I came upon this verse! God is so faithful, even when my flesh and heart fail!

Make it a great day!

Evinda

February 6th, 2013 Even When I Fail, He is Faithful-February’s Wow Part 2

Thanks so much for taking the time to join me for a little break at Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. Grab your coffee and come on in. I have a bit of real-life drama to share with you that He is using to refine me. I pray that as I share, the sparks from the refining process will ignite something spiritually significant for you!

I had received my job assignment the night before – I am a freelance court reporter — and as soon as I heard the location, there was a little nudge of uneasiness in my spirit. See, the job was at another court reporting agency, and in court reporting etiquette, a court reporter from one agency does not show up to report a deposition at another court reporting agency, unless it’s a network job. I squashed the uneasiness down, telling myself to chillax. At least I was working.

The other disconcerting thing is it was in a bad part of town, downtown Pomona off of Garey Avenue. As I pulled up, I was a bit shocked at how rundown the building looked and how hard I had to look for their sign to make sure I was at the right place. If I had to compare it to something, I’d say it looked more like a bar instead of a professional building. That’s what I love about my job; all the culture I experience!

Anyway, I walked in, and the inside looked about as bad as the outside, dark, dungy and a bit oppressive now that I think about it. The lady at the front was in what looked like a cage, or a barricade, probably for safety reasons! She must have seen me pulling my court reporting case because she didn’t even greet me; she just directed me down the hall, “straight ahead, then turn right.”

As I turned right, I saw one attorney sitting down and a lady standing at the door of her office and I could tell immediately by her body language and her tone of voice she was using with this attorney that something was wrong. I sat like a fly on the wall for a moment to listen to the obvious problem and then I heard: “I never heard anything about this. The only time we allow another court reporter that isn’t from our agency to report in our conference room is if it’s a network job.”
I mentally flew off the wall and joined the conversation: “Actually, I think this may be a network job.”

Like a snake that suddenly came upon some unsuspecting prey, she turned her head toward me and spat: “No, it isn’t a network job. All network jobs go through me.”

As I wiped her venom off  of me, I looked at the other attorney and calmly said: Let me call my office. I stepped down the hall a few steps and called my office manager and after putting me on hold for a few seconds, she came back on and explained that our client had arranged it. Then she informed me that she had Christie, the office manager for our client’s firm on the line.

When I heard her say “Christie,” I got excited because I didn’t know she was still with this firm and we go a long way back to when we used to sell Creative Memories together and do scrap-booking. In fact, she’s the one who got me started in that fun hobby. I knew we couldn’t get in a “remember when” conversation; no, that would have to be for another day . . .

Join me tomorrow for more of this real life blooper that led me to these words of wisdom!

Evinda

Nana Holds!

Thanks so much for joining me for a little break today at Coffee Hour. Grab your coffee and come on in.

As the days passed and we got into “our” routine again, I began to relax a bit with him, and he with me. I realized that God would reveal whatever the “something keeping me from something” was, but it would come easier if I didn’t let it rent so much space in my head as that would take me away from what He’s actually trying to accomplish in me and through me as I learn to put into action all the things I’ve learned and put to rest all that I’ve unlearned!

See, with the visits to others, potty-training was sort of put on hold so with no immediate visit away from home for at least three weeks, I began to give this chore a lot more dedication and yet, I was learning not to be so serious at the same time.

I’m not sure how the subject came up, but I’m pretty sure it was in the midst of another accident, and this one was a poopy one and George was the lucky one on cleanup at that moment! In his frustration, he brought up big boy school came and told him, “How am I going to take you to big boy school if you keep pooping your pants?”

Well that little seed must have resonated in Bryden’s head and it didn’t take long to root. He kept talking about big boy school. I mean the concept totally got his attention and let me tell you, we took that tool and ran with it as if it were the last football to touch the 100 yard line! Although we did look a bit dorky as we still weren’t quite so sure what we were doing and how we were doing it!

I’d tell him each morning, Bryden’s gonna go to big boy school and Nana and Papa are going to get you a big-boy backpack and a big boy lunch pail. His eyes would get real wide — and he has the most expressive and big brown eyes! And I just love the way he’d repeat it, his pronunciation of “big” incredibly heart-warming as he emphasized his the “b,” nearly sputtering every time because he said it so hard.

And then we’d have a discussion on what type of backpack he wanted for big boy school, and the lunch pail had to match. He was torn between Spiderman, Superman and Sponge Bob and I assured him that when the time came and he was going potty in the toilet all by himself, we’d go and get that backpack and matching lunch pail.

Join me more potty-training praises tomorrow!

Joyfully

Evinda

Nana Holds!

Welcome back to more of Nana Holds. Grab your coffee and come on in.

So these emotional tug-of-wars with various ropes would last a few days each time he came back from his grandma who he calls mommy and while struggling to understand some of what I was feeling and why I was feeling it, I showed up sort of on automatic. It’s not that I didn’t want to care for him; I’ve moved way beyond that and I have surrendered to Him in this season. But there was something keeping me from something, and that’s all I knew. I wondered why he and I were bonding so differently and so slowly, and why he didn’t love me the way he loved her! Is it because we are not blood-related? Talk about feeling like a bull in a china cabinet bucked to and fro by my frustrations!

And please don’t misunderstand these mixed emotions for jealousy because I truly am not jealous; rather I am a bit envious of what they share. Incidentally, I happen to really love this woman, Bryden’s fraternal grandmother, and we are truly becoming good friends who are, I believe, learning from each other!

It was in these short periods that I would catch myself dwelling on the cost of the sacrifice in this season but deep down in my soul, I acknowledged that He allowed it. I could choose to be bitter or choose to be better. Paul tells us in 1st Thessalonians 5:17 to give thanks in all circumstances for this is His will for us.

See, I don’t believe it was/is His perfect will for a child to be born out of wedlock, or in the midst of so much dysfunction – we could discuss the painful situations all day that are endless and happening all around us — but what I know that I know that I know is I can praise Him for what He can do while I’m in this circumstance, in this season of being mama-nana to this wonderfully-engaging and gregarious little boy. So although there are times I just humanly cannot praise Him for this circumstance as I’m in it, I can praise Him for His sovereignty as I’m in it!

Join me Wednesday for some fun memories that we created in this process.

Thoughtfully,

Evinda

Nanna Holds -Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks so much for joining me today for a little break. I enjoy having Coffee Hour with you and sharing this powerful series, Nana Holds. Grab your coffee and come on in.

So as we pull into our garage, his sad little voice pulls me out of my emotional tug-of-war: “We’re home.” Those were the sweetest words I’d heard all day, and they went a long way in soothing my troubled soul and pulling me out of and away from these unfamiliar emotions that were bringing a lot of questions to the surface of my mind. At least he still considered this home, I thought.

Sparky was pretty excited to see little Bryden; but the little princess Baraka, now called Baraka-Evinda, was standing back, still not adjusted to having to share our affections, and therefore, not really a fan of little Bryden , yet. We began to make our way into the laundry room, me behind him, but he didn’t want me to hold him; rather, he wanted to walk in all by himself.

I brought in all of his stuff while he sat on the floor with his blanket and his new book, turning the page once in a while, captivated by the voice of the one he just left, the one he had bonded with as though she were mommy.

I busied myself with putting all his stuff away, the stuff he left with and now more new stuff from his Grandma, Papa, and Tauntie Bre! This child wants for nothing; trust me, at least materially speaking! As I put his clothes away and his new toys, and a new hat, and slippers, too, the emotional wrestling match continued on in my mind and traveled into my heart. On one hand I was so grateful that God had surrounded this little guy with many people who love him so much and I was and continue to be amazed at how resilient he is, though I question how long that will last. And that’s not being pessimistic; just realistic.

I was also grateful that just when we needed it most, there was someone to take him for a couple days, or a week, and extend to us a bit of a break. As I write this, the emotional tug-of-war reveals one rope, the rope of guilt for needing a break. His other grandma always says she would take him to live with her; in fact, she wants that very much and cries every time she leaves him, but she knows that his daddy needs to be able to see him and be daddy to him as much as is possible for his recovery and restoration.

Another huge rope in this emotional tug-of-war is coming to the surface, though I can’t quite make out its purpose, its definition and why it keeps wrapping around my heart and mind causing me anguish, bringing questions to the surface more and more consistently so much so that I know I will one day have to answer them after going deeper with Him!
Join me next week for more of this revealing season of Nana Holds!
Evinda

Power Friday @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me for Power Friday at Chicklit Power! Grab your coffee and come on in for just a few.

This week’s power thought came to me while I was out on a run and sort of doing some inventory of my recent interactions with a couple of people. Suddenly it hit me that this “gift” of words that He’s given me can sometimes be a curse if I don’t use them wisely. The reality of that collided with the truth we’ve all heard forever, “Actions speak louder than words.”

So to bring that little quote up to date, here’s my power thought:

 If I couldn’t speak with words, what would my life be saying?

Have an awesome awe-inspiring weekend,

Evinda

Nana Holds

Thanks for joining me today for Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. I know it can be difficult to stop and take a break and tune it all out, but it’s good to feed your soul so you can keep going and wearing all the hats you wear, girlfriend! Grab your coffee and come on in.

The next memorable thing that happened, albeit not necessarily a good one, is the conversation we had with bio mom’s parents after the court hearing. We boldly stated that they were more than welcome to come and visit Bryden in our home but he would not be going on any overnights with them until the Court determined visitation. We explained that their daughter requested this because of his alcoholism and her mom’s struggle with depression, self-medicating and pot smoking.

Okay. I just heard a little warning signal. Please know I’m not bringing all this out to bash them in any way; Lord knows I’ve had my share of junk that He has helped me unpack and is still unpacking. This is part of the story, and part of what we are up against. When people are in their diseases and bondages, they don’t even know they are! It is what it is and being Bry’s temporary guardians, we need to protect him as much as possible from the baggage so he doesn’t wind up packed in it!

I was the one who got to break the news to them, actually him because he kept blowing up my phone. I remember being very matter-of-fact, and as he verbally bashed his daughter, I reminded him it was their fight, not ours. One of the last things I told him was, I believed God could use this to bring healing to their relationship, to build a bridge that had broken down by all their physical confrontations and verbal beatings that would scar for a lifetime if left inside and not surrendered and forgiven.

Well, that conversation went over about as good as a fart in church! Bio mom was happy but her parents were like bees swarming around someone upsetting their nest. About two weeks later, we were served with papers. They had hired an attorney to gain visitation rights that would be appearing for them at our court hearing on September 24th!

Join me tomorrow for more drama . . .

Smiling inside,

Evinda

Invitation Tuesdays

Thank you for joining me for Coffee Hour at Chicklit Power. I won’t be keeping you long today, just long enough to share a thought on relationships and extend an invitation to you for our next event! Grab your coffee and come on in.

Last week I shared the definition of “revival,” which is “preservation of life, hence, sustenance.” Every relationship needs protection and preservation. Unfortunately, there always seems to be a lack of understanding of ourselves and/or the ones we are in relationship with and that interferes with that preservation. You can never over-understand yourself and/or the person you are trying to care for and about, whether that be your wife/husband, sister/brother, or your child/parent. Each of these relationships requires understanding.

That being said, let me invite you to an event that will be full of answers to tough questions about relationships! I hope you’ll mark your calendar today!



Excited to share with you,

Evinda

Nana Holds

Thanks for joining me today for more of this life-changing series, Nana Holds. At least it’s changing my life and I pray that if there are any other nanas out there entrusted to care for their grandchild or grandchildren that they would be greatly encouraged through these words. Grab your coffee and come on in. We were at our first court appearance but we are not alone.

Though the courthouse is anything but unfamiliar to me, the thought of being on the other side of the bench was not a comforting one. Being in the court-reporting chair and being at counsel’s table before the court is definitely two different experiences! But let me tell you what happens before we get there.

I was trying to think of a name to give Bryden’s mom out of respect for her privacy and the first thing I thought of was BM for biological mom, but I better not do that because it could also stand for something else and that wouldn’t be very nice:)  We’ll just call her bio mom.

She came toward us and was very cordial. She seemed a bit anxious, as we all were, but nothing out of the ordinary.

What was somewhat out of the ordinary is the amenable attitude towards us, considering the situation. I mean, we are literally saying we don’t believe she should get custody of her son so I’m sure you can imagine how awkward it was, or at least could have been.

But she seemed to have sanity wrapped around her, at least for the days surrounding this process, and as the Court questioned her, she responded, and quite confidently, that considering the circumstances, and in light of where she was living — she was staying with her grandma who lives in a seniors only apartment complex and no children are allowed — the best place for her son to be was with us. “However, she said, I do have a declaration I’d like to file in rebuttal.”

I could tell the Court was trying to hide her disregard for bio mom’s ignorance of court rules and procedures as she looked up and matter-of-factly replied, “Then I suggest you get it filed according to the rules of Court before the next court date because I can’t look at it until it is.”

I turned my head to hide my internal smirk that I just know was about to bust outward and then looked back again as the Court declared: “This court awards temporary guardianship of Bryden Lepins to George and Kim Lepins. The next court date to establish permanent guardianship is September 24th. Thank you very much.”

I turned to George and he and I smiled at the irony of the court date. We would be appearing before Her Honor on my husband’s birthday!

Join me Wednesday for more of Nana Holds.

Rejoicing,

Evinda



P.S. Join me and Steve today at www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power for more on breaking free from co-dependency!

Nana Holds

Thank you for stopping by Coffee Hour and taking the time to have coffee with me. I love these little breaks we take and I hope you are enjoying them as well. Grab your coffee and come on in. We left off with a sticky situation.

The sticky piece to the puzzle is she and her parents were not on good speaking terms. In fact, she and her dad are very hostile towards each other and there are definitely a lot of unresolved issues in their history. What she was requesting, and she reiterated it in her un-filed declaration is that she did not want her son visiting overnight with her parents.

That presented a problem for her parents’ visitations with this little innocent guy who loved his other Papa and Grammy, as he called his mommy’s mom. All we had to go on was what she told us and it wasn’t good, but was it trustworthy? The questions began coming at us like a tornado. Was she telling us all these things just to get back at her parents? Which person were we dealing with? And were her parents telling us all they were telling us just to get back at her? In the past, they have been known to tell people what they want to hear!

It was an ugly cycle of he-said/she-said and yet, history had proved much of what her parents said about their only daughter. But I was really wanting to have a fresh start; I was believing that there could be a new start and restoration could be woven all over and through this circumstance.

George and I prayed, and we kept Bry’s other Grandma involved as well. Up to this point she’s the one he had spent more than half of his life with, the one he was still calling mommy! She filed a declaration of all she had witnessed, and let me tell you, it was full of facts, painful and factual truths. I think it was like four pages!

The first court date was to grant temporary guardianship until the court could hear the matter. I remember feeling a bit anxious, wondering who would show up and who wouldn’t. I didn’t have long to wait. After finding our name on the calendar, I turned and there she was, Bryden’s biological mommy, all dressed up in a suit and everything! She actually looked somewhat serious.
Join me Monday for more of Nana Holds and the court’s decision for temporary guardianship.

Rewinding the moments,

Evinda

Power Friday From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to our first Power Thought Friday for 2013! Thanks so much for taking the time to stop what you’re doing for a few minutes and have coffee with me. I hope you enjoy the power thought today and feel free to take it with you! Grab your coffee and come on in.

This is a new year but we are going to be sticking with power thoughts that help us break free from co-dependency, at least for a few more weeks. Co-dependency is such a viral infection infecting everyone we come in contact with and communicate with; therefore it is so very important that we recognize these symptoms and steer clear of them and/or break free from them.

Co-dependency is a silent addiction that screams the loudest in our actions!

And just like any addiction, the first step in recovery is admitting there’s a problem.
Join Steve and me on Monday for our Blog Talk Radio show, Destination? Joyful! ™ for our continuing conversation on this very subject.

Breaking free,

Evinda