Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks so much for joining me today. I enjoy sharing this time with you. Grab your coffee and come on in. We’re at the dinner table and the dreaded question is about to be asked.

Since Bryce wasn’t there, I got to help Bryden wash his hands before dinner. I picked him up and carried him to the kitchen sink and proceeded to teach him how to wash his hands, really wash his hands. He is such a good little student and to this day, that little boy doesn’t just skim soap on his hands, but he puts his little hands together and goes round and round, on the inside first and then the outside! That was my first smile of the day. We were going to get through this.

Little kids are incredibly intuitive in an uncanny sort of way. Dinner was a little quiet, and we were running low on the physical and emotional energy required to try and get Bryden to eat. It was almost like he could sense he was about to get some bad news and he lost his appetite. After several attempts to get him to eat, finally he just blurted out what he wanted to know all along, probably since the minute he stepped foot in the door: “Where’s my daddy?”
I didn’t gasp or anything, but I did hesitate. I caught George’s eyes and I swear they looked a bit glassy. He couldn’t do it. I spoke up very matter-of-factly: “Daddy’s at a new job so he won’t be home for a while.”

“A new job?” he asked.

“Yup, Daddy’s at a new job, the biggest job of his life.” I held my breath.
He seemed to accept that and finished his dinner while I exhaled my relief. George and I didn’t have much of an appetite so didn’t finish our dinner but cleaned up while Bryden watched a little T.V. He seemed perfectly content and okay with what I had told him and so bath time was fun as usual, and I played with him as if everything were okay, because in my heart of hearts, I had to believe that it would be, one day, some day.

We went downstairs and played hide-N-seek for a few minutes; then we settled him down with a book or two. Then it was time for bed and – sorry, I’m starting to cry as I remember this one – normally he would say, “Daddy holds” just before me putting him to bed but tonight, the first night of many that daddy was not around to hold his son, Bryden said these words for the very first time: “Nana holds!”

Our bond was beginning to form.

Join me Monday for more of Nana Holds.

Evinda