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Communication isn’t some new-fad, something that has evolved, per say. As a matter of fact, communication was/is one of the main building blocks to the early church. I mean, it’s not like the Bible was put together by a bunch of people spreading rumors! Think about it; God communicated through His Holy Spirit through every author of every book and thereafter it was translated. Without communication, how would the Bible have been translated as accurately as it has? How would we learn about the things of God, about His character, discover His promises without effective communication? Where would our relationship with our Keynote Speaker and Mediator be without this form of written, Holy-Spirit inspired, communication? Oops, I know; too many questions. Let me get back on track here. :)
So while it’s not a “new” thing, it seems the more technologically available we are, the less we use this gift/virtue; communication is fading into the backdrop of life! See, the faster we move through life, the less we stop to communicate. In many ways, the generations to follow will need to understand the value of communication even more than you or me because everything seems to be going automated and decreasing and demeaning the need for healthy communication; however, the value of good communication remains highly relevant.
I just thought of something that really hits this one home. My guy and I were out having dinner one night – although this has happened more than once – and he nudged me, indicating with his head which direction to look and there was a couple, both of them on their “smart” phones! Instead of taking the time to be with each other, they were available for others. Or maybe they were playing a game. Who knows? Any way you look at it, those smart phones interfere with communication. Or how about the single dad taking his kids to dinner; same thing, he’s on his phone and the kids are left to their own devices, i.e., running around the restaurant, picking a fight with the other sibling, or maybe they have phones too! Don’t get me wrong; I am on my phone just as much as the next person, if not more, but after a certain hour, my phone is off. When I go out with my guy, it’s at home or in the car. Smart phones cannot take the place of meaningful communication! That could be an entire week’s blog, but I’ll stay on track, here and get off my soap box! :)
I would be really missing the mark if I didn’t spend some time on some Biblical ingredients of good communication… and bad, because when we put all the ingredients that go into good, or bad, communication, our Keynote Speaker has definitely given us many ingredients as well as vivid how-to’s and explanatory don’t do’s. He used all kinds of personalities to make each example clear, people who succeeded as well as people who failed.
In other words, Jesus made a huge deal about communication!
In Proverbs 15:1 we read that a soft answer is a must in the recipe for good communication. Ouch! In other words, when someone bites our head off, do we bite back? Oh, how often I have been accused of having a “tone,” or speaking too loud, something that I am consistently working on, because let’s face it, our tone can truly be a camera into our hearts. You’ve heard it said before, “It is not what you say, but how you say it”? A soft answer decreases the fire. When someone says something to us that is hurtful, in other words, lights a match, do we throw water on the fire, or another log?
Oh, my goodness, I used to be such a yeller … and it would shut my guy down faster than pressing the off button on the television. To me, it was normal to yell; after all, I’d often wake from my sleep to screaming, yelling and fighting in the background. That was the way my biological family communicated … so hurtful. Now I know better. But just as speaking loudly can sound angry, I’ve also learned that being too intense is also detrimentally harmful to healthy communication.
I remember when our families first blended and I was trying desperately to have a relationship with my step-son and step-daughter. It wasn’t until I had been married for SEVEN years that I realized part of their problem with me was my problem with intensity! So I’ve learned to bring it down a notch – well several, actually! Oftentimes, our intensity is driven by a need to be heard and/or a need to be understood. So memorizing this verse in Proverbs, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh wound stirs up anger” is a must for it has a good ingredient and a what-not-to-do instruction!
Oh, to remember to speak sloooooowly, and softly … not matter how I’m spoken to!
Join me tomorrow for more on communication
Evinda
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