Thank
you for sharing this Coffee Hour with me as I write from my heart to
yours about this subject of communication that literally thousands of
books have been written about! Grab your coffee and your red Strand of
Faith and let’s go tie the final knots in this relevant subject.
Proverbs 15:2
says that the tongue of the wise uses knowledge, in other words, we
step back emotionally and mentally before jumping forward with a
reaction. This is the difference between responding vs. reacting. In
fact, we are supposed to take this time to step back and sort of season
our talk with some salt … salt ads flavor, the flavor of kindness,
gentleness, peace, patience … and self-control! The ESV of the Bible
translates Colossians 4:6 this way: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Well,
this tells us that each person, each situation, each disagreement needs
a different response, but no matter what the response, we’ve got to
step back before we jump forward. See this is the biggest challenge when
someone has challenged us, right? How can we pour salt on our words so
as to not inflict wounds or add to an already-existing wound? The first
and only thing that comes to mind is to do a heart check! I remember an
angry husband coming to me one time, sharing all kinds of ugly stuff
about his wife. He demanded that I talk with the Pastor of our church
and the Associate Pastor, and fill them both in on all her dirty
laundry. He demanded a whole host of other things, but … anyway, after
reading through his email twice, and some time in prayer, I responded
with a question: What’s your motive? If your motive is for restoration,
to help in the healing process, that’s great; but if your motive is to
bring her harm, to hurt her because she’s hurt you, then you will have
to take that up with God because I cannot participate in that. So check
your heart, your motive.”
He didn’t respond!
In times of conflict, sometimes we must say nothing at all but let our actions speak for us. In 1st Peter 3:1,
Peter tells us that many can be won over not by our words but by our
conduct. This isn’t for just the spouse married to an unbeliever,
although it’s a great piece of wisdom for those in that situation.
There’s no point in climbing the mountain of change, getting to the top
or peak of a change and shouting, “I’ve changed; can’t you see I’ve
changed?” We must allow our lives to be the voice.
Can you think
of someone who has influenced you with their lives, not just their
words? Paul is gifted in this area of communication and points out this
truth: how would we even have faith without the knowledge imparted
through good communication? We take that leap of faith because someone
communicates to us in a way that grabs at our heart and squeezes it and
causes us to recognize the necessity of the reality of Christ. Do you
see what I mean?
Have you ever been listening to a message from a
pastor, or someone on the radio, or even someone face to face and
wondered, how in the world did they get such a clear picture of my dirty
laundry? Do they have a camera or X-ray vision that goes straight to my
mind and down to my heart?
So who or what communicated to you your need for a Savior?
That’s
almost a wrap on this sacrifice! Next week, we will cover the final
part in this sacrifice of communication, because without it, we would
most certainly continuously fail in this area of communication and in
this sacrificial journey!
Love,
Evinda
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