Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thank you for sharing this Coffee Hour with me as I write from my heart to yours about this subject of communication that literally thousands of books have been written about! Grab your coffee and your red Strand of Faith and let’s go tie the final knots in this relevant subject.
Proverbs 15:2 says that the tongue of the wise uses knowledge, in other words, we step back emotionally and mentally before jumping forward with a reaction. This is the difference between responding vs. reacting. In fact, we are supposed to take this time to step back and sort of season our talk with some salt … salt ads flavor, the flavor of kindness, gentleness, peace, patience … and self-control! The ESV of the Bible translates Colossians 4:6 this way: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Well, this tells us that each person, each situation, each disagreement needs a different response, but no matter what the response, we’ve got to step back before we jump forward. See this is the biggest challenge when someone has challenged us, right? How can we pour salt on our words so as to not inflict wounds or add to an already-existing wound? The first and only thing that comes to mind is to do a heart check! I remember an angry husband coming to me one time, sharing all kinds of ugly stuff about his wife. He demanded that I talk with the Pastor of our church and the Associate Pastor, and fill them both in on all her dirty laundry. He demanded a whole host of other things, but … anyway, after reading through his email twice, and some time in prayer, I responded with a question: What’s your motive? If your motive is for restoration, to help in the healing process, that’s great; but if your motive is to bring her harm, to hurt her because she’s hurt you, then you will have to take that up with God because I cannot participate in that. So check your heart, your motive.”
He didn’t respond!
In times of conflict, sometimes we must say nothing at all but let our actions speak for us. In 1^st Peter 3:1, Peter tells us that many can be won over not by our words but by our conduct. This isn’t for just the spouse married to an unbeliever, although it’s a great piece of wisdom for those in that situation. There’s no point in climbing the mountain of change, getting to the top or peak of a change and shouting, “I’ve changed; can’t you see I’ve changed?” We must allow our lives to be the voice.
Can you think of someone who has influenced you with their lives, not just their words? Paul is gifted in this area of communication and points out this truth: how would we even have faith without the knowledge imparted through good communication? We take that leap of faith because someone communicates to us in a way that grabs at our heart and squeezes it and causes us to recognize the necessity of the reality of Christ. Do you see what I mean?
Have you ever been listening to a message from a pastor, or someone on the radio, or even someone face to face and wondered, how in the world did they get such a clear picture of my dirty laundry? Do they have a camera or X-ray vision that goes straight to my mind and down to my heart?
So who or what communicated to you your need for a Savior?
That’s almost a wrap on this sacrifice! Next week, we will cover the final part in this sacrifice of communication, because without it, we would most certainly continuously fail in this area of communication and in this sacrificial journey!
Love,

Evinda

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy day, Coffee Hour Friend! Thanks for joining me today for more of Seven Sacrifices to Joy! Grab your coffee and your Red Strand of Faith and let’s go back about 2000 years to Jesus and His Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5, and then we’ll do a fast-forward to apply His words to our lives.
Matthew 5:39 He says: “But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.”
Now let me share another life-lived experience that brought this scripture dancing to life within me!
As I got out of my car, armed with prayer for this conflict resolution meeting, I was confident that He was with me and would speak through me, after I kept my mouth shut and listened. Yes, that was the plan; to sit and listen as He had been teaching me to do so I could teach others, but I had never engaged in such a listening exercise; only read and taught about it. I greeted her with a hug, as if there were no problems to resolve, and I remember genuinely feeling the love which I offered. We got our drinks and went outside and sat down. I began the conversation by asking her permission to take notes, confessing this would help me to keep my mouth shut and truly listen to her. And then I shared that I wanted to show her more respect.
If eyeballs could pop out, hers would have and here’s why I say that: everything leading up to this conversation was problematic, putting it mildly, and I just don’t think she was prepared for me to show her kindness and respect. Trust me; it was Him in me, every bit of it, for when I am a vessel full of myself, nothing good happens, but when I got out of my car that day, I left pride in the passenger’s seat, assuring it I’d be back for it afterwards!
I don’t need to glorify the enemy and I won’t by repeating our conversation. However, and this is a big however, because I kept my mouth shut and my ears opened as she spewed out her hurtful comments and opinions, I was able to detect that much of her present was mixed with painful moments in her past of which she wasn’t even aware! She was/is so focused on others’ behavior that she was totally unaware of her own, and I don’t say that to be demeaning. Quite the contrary because it shed light and gave me compassion. It was as though there was this invisible connect-the-dots picture and each comment laced with hurt and anger equipped me to visibly connect the dots internally. It was this incredibly out-of-body experience where He equipped me to listen, and because I really listened, I was able to validate all of her misperceptions! It was the most freeing hour of my life!
Now let’s return to the words spoken by Jesus Himself in Matthew 5. I wouldn’t call this person who had been keeping this silent scorecard of wrongs evil, although her words and opinions felt evil. But maybe, just maybe there’s something to this verse that applies to these types of in-the-heat-of-the-moment situations. At least this verse is speaking to me ever so loudly in a soft kind of way. See, as I sat there and truly listened to this person spewing all of her misperceptions about situations we had been involved in, I listened, one insult after another … turning one cheek, then the other, and then turning back and repeating the cycle. This went on for over an hour and I have to tell you, because I chose to turn the other cheek, in other words, keep my mouth shut and truly listen, I was able to pick up some very enlightening information and understand why/how she had connected the dots the way she did.
Guess what? Her venom and bitterness really had nothing to do with me – she thinks it did and that’s okay -- but had I not turned the cheek … over and over again, I wouldn’t have recognized that powerful truth and my anger would have erupted and spoiled the victory!
Could it be that actively listening was accounted as an act of righteousness for me that day? Oh, please know that I take no credit for anything but showing up and shutting up … Oh, to continue seeking to offer a sacrifice of righteousness!
Please join us tomorrow for our Faith Filled Fridays with Debbie Croley!

Love,

Evinda

Coffee in Cabo-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me for more Cabo highlights and revelations. Grab your coffee and come on in.

When I woke up on Tuesday, the ocean’s voice beckoned me to be still. This was book signing day. I fixed our coffee and went to sit on the couch, the place I came every morning to be still, work on my Bible study, and journal. George had turned on the IPod and Michael W. Smith’s voice rose above the sound of the ocean.

George came and sat beside me as “Your Grace” began to play. Suddenly, yet ever so naturally, we both began to sing the lyrics, lost in worship song after song. Oh, how I had yearned for connection like this and it happened. I could have stayed there like that for hours.

We made our way to the lobby for the morning session of the book signing. My heart dropped a bit when I saw that I would be sitting by the back sliding doors again. That is where I was last year, and it was really difficult to engage with anyone because most people are walking in and out so fast that they don’t look to the right or the left; they just keep going. I could fill pages and pages full of all the emotions I kept finding myself stuck in, but suffice it to say, at this point in the day, I am hiding behind my tablet playing solitaire, looking like I’m having fun as I relentlessly remind myself that it’s not about books but about hearts.

To be perfectly honest with you, that truth is still making its way down from my mind to my heart, but I am determined

Book signing day!

to push it on in there! 

But despite my inabilities and flaws, God showed up. He brought a couple of divine appointments that reminded me of His purpose. There was a lady who came in from the pool purposefully to purchase all three of the books and she let us know that she was there because of what she had read on Amazon about the books! I was so encouraged! Shortly thereafter, Dinorah, a young lady who headed up the tours for the Solmar Helping Hands charities, came over to check the books out. She said she had heard about the book signing from several people and wanted to come take a look.

We talked about the Helping Hands foundation which opened the door for me to share each of the books and the respective charities that they are dedicated to. She nodded her head in open appreciation and picked up A Cup of Hope, exclaiming how cute the cover was. She glanced through it and got so excited. “These look like what I would like.” She picked up A Cup of Encouragement and then handed them both to me.

I had my first sale in pesos! I got so excited figuring it out I could have sworn I had a hot flash, but then just as quick as it came on, it was gone! I signed them both, and thanked her. When she asked if we came every year, I assured her that we did. “Well we need to stay in touch through email and I will bring you out to all the timeshare representatives and the helpers for the charity. They love to buy and they need your books.”

I had to remind myself to shut my mouth before a Cabo mosquito flew in it! Talk about an unexpected gift! By now, it was just about time to wrap the morning session up, but before we packed it up, Rodney and George suggested that I ask Paula, the Chief Concierge, if there was any way we could move to a better location. I prayed for courage as I made my way toward her across the lobby. I don’t know why I felt so inept and awkward, because she really is the sweetest and most accommodating concierge I have ever met.

For those of you who were with me last year, do you remember the fiasco with the books being stuck in customs and not making it to us? Well, she was so incredibly helpful through that whole thing.

Anyway, she stood as I approached her and we hugged, and then I asked her, “Paula, is there any way that we can move for the afternoon session?” I went on to share with her about the first year I was in the lobby and where they had put me, which was an amazing spot at the end of the resort receptionists and definitely a prime location in comparison to where we were now.

“I understand, Ms. Lepins. Let me talk with my manager and see what we can do. I don’t think it will be a problem as long as the spa staff does not mind.” I thanked her and walked back to our table.

Rodney and George could tell by the smile on my face that the attempt had been well-received, but I still couldn’t stop from exclaiming how incredibly understanding and receptive she had been.

Cheryl and I began to pack up the books, and we agreed to leave the signs out with a “Back at 3” sign taped to the table. We were about to leave and Paula came over with the General Manager, Rodrigo. We all shook hands and he then went on to say that Paula had told him we wanted to move the table. He said, “It will be no problem to move you, Senora Lepins. I will see to it myself that we move everything by this afternoon.” Talk about humbled. Rodrigo’s kindness rang a bell of truth in my heart: You can’t be genuinely kind without humility!

Please join me tomorrow for more Cabo highlights and revelations. And I can’t wait to tell you who I met at the pool!

Joyfully,

Evinda

My Christmas Wish for You – From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Happy Christmas Eve to you and thanks for joining me for our coffee break today! I hope you enjoy my Christmas card made just for you! Grab your coffee and come on in and ponder these words. I pray they resonate in your heart and help you with perspective in the Christmases to come.

It is not about the presents under the Christmas tree, but the presence of love we feel from friends and family
It’s not about the shopping that we feel we must do, but about the gift that has been given freely to me and you
The gift is a gift that money can’t buy; the birth and death of Christ was for you and I
It’s not about making a list and checking it twice and buying countless gifts for the naughty or the nice
The reason for the season isn’t about all the debt and stress, but a season to offer special gifts such as forgiveness
Or maybe a gift of time for one whose time is running out, a meal for a family  to encourage hope where there is doubt
Maybe someone needs a helping hand to accomplish a chore; yes, these are the kinds of gifts that give on forever more
Oh, if we would take the materialism out of this season and in its place remember redemption is our reason
These gifts come freely to and from those walking in His Spirit; they outlive materialism though the world doesn’t hear it
The gifts of Love, joy, peace, patience don’t ever need a reason;
nor does kindness, gentleness or self-control have to have a season!

May the gifts of the season guide you to and through the new year!

   

Merry Christmas
Evinda