Embracing the Waves of Change

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for stopping by for our Coffee Hour! I thought it would be fun to give you a little recap of our Five-year anniversary celebration which focused on change. Grab your coffee and your Strand of Faith and let’s go talk about this word that has so much meaning behind it!

Change…wow, I think of change and I am humbled…..almost beyond words, which is near impossible for an author! I mean when I just wanted to write a book, and He had other plans, to be honest, I wasn’t embracing it…at least not for the first two years. While I loved doing our workshops, I had not completely embraced this huge change in my life. By the third year, I opened up my arms in surrender and began to truly embrace my calling to help broken people learn to unlearn and re-learn things that will help them thrive IN life and love and OUT of the unhealthy habits that interfere with healthy living. I wouldn’t change it because of how much it’s changed me…and there are days I wonder if I will ever get there…wherever there is, but let’s not forget, He who begun a new and good work in us will be faithful to continue it until when…

So let’s talk about this little word that has such big consequences.

Imagine that right before you drove home from work, someone told you all of the old traffic laws had changed forever: Red no longer means stop and green no longer means go. In fact, all of the signs that used to guide you were no longer valid. The old laws were gone, but the new ones remained unwritten.

How would you feel as you set out for home?

Often, change happens just like that: quick, sudden, and it disrupts our emotional equilibrium and affects our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Change is a loss of predictability and many of us, when we can’t predict what will happen next, we feel fear, anxiety, less in control

Let me tell you something: the more we feel out of control, the more we are in control! Learning how to embrace change is yielding to the right of way!

Let me leave you with an acrostic about what change is and what it takes:

Change takes:

Commitment We can’t do anything without committing to do it!

Heart It’s not necessarily mind over matter but heart and mind over matter

Acknowledgement and/or adaptability because it takes more energy to be rigid than it does to be flexible

Negotiating through so you don’t just survive but you learn to thrive thru change

Grieving: It’s okay to mourn for you can’t disown what you haven’t owned…and then it’s time to get up so you can move on

Energy: These are those physical, emotional and Spiritual muscles I was talking about because it does take those muscles exerting energy to trust that He is working ALL changes for your good and HIS glory!

Learning to embrace change,

Evinda

Five-year Anniversary Celebration

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for stopping by for our coffee hour! I won’t keep you long today, just long enough to share a very special invitation with you. Grab your coffee and your strand of faith because this invitation comes with some insight about a very challenging subject, change.

Did you know that it takes more energy to be rigid than it does to be flexible ? When change comes your way, do you go with it or do you fight it? The truth is change is inevitable but how do we get through it without letting it knock us down? Well, we’ll be showing you how at our annual event this July where we will be celebrating our five-year anniversary of ministry with a concert, a brunch and a workshop too!

Mark your calendars; you won’t want to miss it!  http://chicklitpower.com/events/anniversaryparty/

Looking forward to seeing you and celebrating with you,

Evinda

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thank you for sharing this Coffee Hour with me as I write from my heart to yours about this subject of communication that literally thousands of books have been written about! Grab your coffee and your red Strand of Faith and let’s go tie the final knots in this relevant subject.
Proverbs 15:2 says that the tongue of the wise uses knowledge, in other words, we step back emotionally and mentally before jumping forward with a reaction. This is the difference between responding vs. reacting. In fact, we are supposed to take this time to step back and sort of season our talk with some salt … salt ads flavor, the flavor of kindness, gentleness, peace, patience … and self-control! The ESV of the Bible translates Colossians 4:6 this way: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Well, this tells us that each person, each situation, each disagreement needs a different response, but no matter what the response, we’ve got to step back before we jump forward. See this is the biggest challenge when someone has challenged us, right? How can we pour salt on our words so as to not inflict wounds or add to an already-existing wound? The first and only thing that comes to mind is to do a heart check! I remember an angry husband coming to me one time, sharing all kinds of ugly stuff about his wife. He demanded that I talk with the Pastor of our church and the Associate Pastor, and fill them both in on all her dirty laundry. He demanded a whole host of other things, but … anyway, after reading through his email twice, and some time in prayer, I responded with a question: What’s your motive? If your motive is for restoration, to help in the healing process, that’s great; but if your motive is to bring her harm, to hurt her because she’s hurt you, then you will have to take that up with God because I cannot participate in that. So check your heart, your motive.”
He didn’t respond!
In times of conflict, sometimes we must say nothing at all but let our actions speak for us. In 1^st Peter 3:1, Peter tells us that many can be won over not by our words but by our conduct. This isn’t for just the spouse married to an unbeliever, although it’s a great piece of wisdom for those in that situation. There’s no point in climbing the mountain of change, getting to the top or peak of a change and shouting, “I’ve changed; can’t you see I’ve changed?” We must allow our lives to be the voice.
Can you think of someone who has influenced you with their lives, not just their words? Paul is gifted in this area of communication and points out this truth: how would we even have faith without the knowledge imparted through good communication? We take that leap of faith because someone communicates to us in a way that grabs at our heart and squeezes it and causes us to recognize the necessity of the reality of Christ. Do you see what I mean?
Have you ever been listening to a message from a pastor, or someone on the radio, or even someone face to face and wondered, how in the world did they get such a clear picture of my dirty laundry? Do they have a camera or X-ray vision that goes straight to my mind and down to my heart?
So who or what communicated to you your need for a Savior?
That’s almost a wrap on this sacrifice! Next week, we will cover the final part in this sacrifice of communication, because without it, we would most certainly continuously fail in this area of communication and in this sacrificial journey!
Love,

Evinda

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for joining me for Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and more of this third sacrifice in the Seven Sacrifices to Joy! Communication is what makes or breaks a bridge! Grab your coffee and your strand of faith and let’s go tie some more knots in our ongoing conversation about communication!
How is it that we can hold our tongues, be slower to speech, step back before we jump forward with our words? There is a truth that I know has been very helpful to me in this constant trial of speaking words that build up instead of tear down: Out of the abundance of the heart, a man/woman speaks! (Luke 6:45b) See, what is in our heart will come out of our mouths.
Oh, I can’t even begin to tell you how many times that something has escaped from my mouth like a robber quickly taking off with his sought-after loot only to be hit in the face with a picture of my heart!
Then I am left with the gentle conviction as my words are left exposed, as if engraved in the sand after the tide rolls away. They are there for me to stare at, their tone not hidden in the grains of sand, rather echoing back over the sound of the wave, convicting me, moving me to seek forgiveness from Him first, and then go to the one who is still stunned by the stink that my words have left in their being.
I know there is no condemnation for I am His, and yet I struggle with this question, and maybe you do too: Why does this seem to be an ongoing struggle? I mean when I started blogging four and a half years ago, one of my first blogs I wrote was about mouthing off to my husband! Does this mean I haven’t grown in this area? Ugh! Can you hear me groan?
The answer I keep hearing is: keep the heart clean. See, the heart is like the closet of the house; everything gets stored in there, but little gets cleaned out of there! If there is even a tiny bit of dust in the heart with somebody’s name on it, then out of the mouth will come that dirt. The cleaner the heart, the cleaner our words!
Whenever there is a tiny hint of resentment, any little piece of unresolved conflict, it will be the aroma that comes out with any form of communication creating more tension, and a wall inhibiting integrity. When someone steps on our emotional toe, why is it that we can’t say ouch out loud …without trying to hurt the one who hurt us? When will we realize that a hurt + a hurt = a double-hurt? Oh, don’t we need this consistent reminder? I know I do! The good news: there is forgiveness and with a truly repentant heart comes change, and grace, like a wave coming back in to wash the shadow of the pain caused by the hurtful words until we can feel the sting no more.
But how about those who don’t know how to say ouch, so they keep it in for fear of how the other will take it? In other words, they anticipate the response, assume how they will respond and so the hammer comes down again, sealing in bitterness and resentment.
Again, I hear the clean heart analogy. If we say “ouch” with a motive to hurt and tear down, or to repay evil for evil, more likely than not, the fire will grow higher and higher and the wound deeper, but if our motive is to restore, repair, then the rest is up to the other person, whom you cannot control! We must not hold back an apology based on what we think they might say, or even because we feel they wronged us first. Remember, when we get there, He’s going to talk to us about how we responded to the step on the emotional foot. Others’ hurtful behavior isn’t a free pass to misbehave.
See, God knew we’d have conflict; that’s why He spoke through Paul in Romans 12:18, for as much as is possible with you, live peaceably with others. You do your part; He’ll take care of them. Go ahead and put your name in that verse: for as much as is possible with _________, live peaceably with __________. Who do you need help communicating with today? Claim this verse over U for without the U, there is no “Us”!
Oh, that I would be so slow to speak, that my words would lift up and not tear down …
Until tomorrow,

Evinda

Jenn's Journey from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Good morning! Grab your cup of coffee and spend a few minutes with me. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts!

Change. Don't you just dread it? If there is anything you can count on, it's that nothing stays the same. Knowing change is a part of life doesn't make it any easier does it? I was remembering the other day how hard it was adjusting to life with a new born. Just when I thought ''phew, finally we're on a schedule" Bam..that little stinker would switch it up!  Oh how I like routine and knowing what to expect. I've been that way since I can remember. But as I get older, I am beginning to learn to roll with the punches as my dad likes to say.
I like how the dictionary defines change.." to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone"  Hmmm. Who would I be if I had just been 'left alone'? I think back to all the changes life has handed me, and how each of them has contributed to who I am today. I balked at many of them, you can be sure of that. Yet, I can honestly say, that even the most painful changes were necessary to bring me to where I am in life today.
God is all about change. He loves me where I am, but He sure doesn't mean for me to stay there. Sometimes He changes the circumstances, but most often, He changes minds and hearts. This is what I am currently learning in my own life. I often quote Romans 12:2 to myself  "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.."
Renewing of the mind=transformation and change.  Perhaps God is calling you to different circumstances. Perhaps He is calling you to a new way of thinking, of relating, of responding.  Remember  in those ups and downs of life..there IS a constant...""I am the Lord, and I do not change." Malachi 3:6.  "The Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you" Deuteronomy 31:6

This week, accept the challenge. He is right there with you, every step of the way.
Until next week, be blessed.
  Jenn

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so very much for joining me for our Coffee Hour and some more tying of knots in our Red Strand of Faith. Grab your SOF (strand of faith) and your coffee and let’s finally get into the first sacrifice of joy, since we have a good grasp on sacrifice.
You know, the deeper I dig into His Word, the more I realize how little I know … but what an adventure it is to be in the school of life and try to apply what we are learning in each and every classroom/lesson He has prepared for us, the answers of which are all in this one incredible Book. His lessons are noteworthy and praiseworthy!
Speaking of praise, let’s get to our first sacrifice to joy: Praise! Let’s go to Hebrews 13:15:  "By Him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to His name." So sacrifice number 1 is praise.
I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s easy to praise Him when things are appearing praiseworthy! When life is good, it’s easy to praise, right?
Why do you suppose that “praise” is a sacrifice then?”
Well, I know when I’m feeling like picking up my broom and flying around the room, and maybe even leaving home with it, to stop and actually praise Him in the heat of the moment brings a hot flash so strong it feels like a current pulling the opposite direction, or like pulling the reigns in on a wild horse that refuses to listen to direction! You know what I’m talking about?  Just the other day, I was getting my vitamins out of the cabinet and tipped over my freshly poured glass of water … all over my cook books, down the cabinet and onto the floor. This was FIRST thing in the morning! Is this going to be how my day goes, I muttered? Instantly I was reminded that this was one of those moments where I could praise or prattle!
But what about the more significant moments in our lives, those really hard lessons where you know that you know that you know that He is relentlessly endeavoring to show you something, give you hints, teach you a new lesson for the current season of your life and/or gift you with a revelation for a relevant situation?
I’m giggling as I write this because the smallest thing, like a spilt glass of water, can send me in a tailspin so far from the current lesson He has prepared for me but the deeper things are easier for me to recognize the lesson He has prepared to teach me. In other words, the deeper I go, the more I grow, but when I come up for air … I can sometimes be found gasping and sputtering for reprieve!
I find myself crying out, why do you gotta go so deep, Lord? (I’m hearing these words and the song “Why you gotta be so cruel” comes to mind! :-) ) Why is it I can’t just share surface stuff, in other words get to learn simple lessons in a simple way?
See, I am currently in the throes of the classroom of Meekness 101, and He is using the most unsuspecting people to teach me what it means to be meek, to have a quiet strength and power that literally renders me in control when others are completely out of control. Oh, you talk about a sacrifice!  What does that look like? Well, have you ever sat and listened to a person, I mean truly listened without interrupting, and not spoken until you have completely understood what they’ve said, even when they’re sitting there spewing out all kinds of negative things about you? I have and because I left my pride in the car, determined to truly listen and keep my mouth shut, I was able to see where the source of anger and pain was coming from and validate this person without agreeing with her!  It really wasn’t about me but her misperceptions were definitely tied to the pain of the past which kept driving her emotional car.
That was probably my first huge test, sort of equivalent to a final, in this class that I feel I passed. And as I look back over the last couple of weeks and all the other tests in Meekness 101 and rewind the painful lessons, I see the glimpses of meekness beginning to shine through the cracks as the sun rises into a new day. So though it’s been painful, it is oh so praiseworthy!
Have you ever learned a lesson wrought with pain that twisted you into change? Were you able to see the value of the lesson shining through into your heart as it changed your life? Were you and are you able to offer up a sacrifice of praise for His relentless love that can’t leave us the way we are but inspires us to become all that we were meant to be?
Join me tomorrow for more on this first sacrifice!
Love and laughter,
Evinda

Nana Holds From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

It’s a beautiful day and a great time for a coffee break! Grab your coffee and come on in and let me share some poignant realizations that this season of Nana Holds is revealing.
As I rewind this part of the movie of my life, I see some changes, and though they’ve been almost unbearably slow, at least I am able to see them despite all that I am still working through.
In the beginning, when his daddy brought Bryden to live with us, he looked at me as though I were an alien. It’s as if his little child-sized intuition kicked into overdrive and announced to him that I wasn’t so kid-friendly, especially in a living situation.
Now, don’t get me wrong; it’s not that I don’t like kids; I do, but I think I’ve always kept them at a distance, albeit subconsciously, but there definitely seems to be some sort of wall that divides the child in me from other children. I don’t know if the foundation of this wall began to erect after my childhood experiences. Who and what is the builder of this internal silent wall? All I know is it is there, but something tells me that Bryden is going to hurdle that wall and tear it down.

As I confess this, another truth comes to the surface, and that is, this wall doesn’t erect with all children; it only appears with the children in my inner world, like all of my grandchildren, and even with the little ones of my closest friends. It’s not that I turn into some monster; I really don’t. And I’m certainly not saying that I don’t love them with everything I can, because I do and I am. It’s just there, this indescribable something that prevents – I can’t even put my finger on what it prevents, or at least I wasn’t able to in the first few months of this season that we have been talking about.
I’m sharing this with you now because something tells me these realizations are going to be significant in this season of Him entwining the little life of Bryden so tightly into ours, and as He does that, He will change the perception I have of myself as it relates to kids.

If I had to describe another change I see, I’d have to do so like this: For many months, instead of being on my knees in total surrender, picture me on my back with my feet in the air, kicking and screaming like a petulant toddler! See, I didn’t want to be a mommy again; been there, done that, got the hat, mug, T-shirt, bathrobe and slippers. Don’t want to do it again! The kicking and screaming magnified as though on steroids when his daddy made a few more bad choices that changed life for everyone, but that’s for later on in this series.

Now I see someone more surrendered to this season, letting go of most of my resentments as well as my agenda and trading all that for His will. Notice I said “most” of my resentments. Again, I transparently share from my heart so as it changes, He will be given all the glory!
There is so much more to share in this series, but we are going to put Nana Holds on hold for a while, that is until after our next event because there are many significant aspects of this circumstance that I will be sharing in our Living Outside our Circumstances workshop! Join me Monday for a new series called The Adulterous Woman!
Transforming,
Evinda