Tuesday’s Trench Lessons 4 Life

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Welcome back to our Tuesday’s Trench Lessons with Lea! Grab your coffee and your Strand of Faith and let’s go see what she has for us today!

What would the movie of your life look like? What would it be rated? Would it be a romance, comedy, or horror flick? Who would be your “target audience”?

I wonder how we would feel, what we would do, how we would live, if others could actually see how we live and behave in our own homes; in other words, could I even sit thru the movie of my life? As I was thinking this I thought about every time I lost my temper, ate the wrong thing, or made the wrong choice. I was embarrassed to think about that “movie.” That led me to this thought: Why doesn't this same behavior embarrass me in front of my own family? The answer that I have come to realize is this: Unconditional Love. If my husband tells a lie, or my kids break my favorite collectible, I still love them without hesitation. I believe the same applies to me. My husband and children love me, in spite of my weaknesses.

During this whole thought process, I began to think about those movies that show the people passing away, and a big movie projector showing them their life. I know I’ve been to memorial services where there was a sort of movie made of their life…of course only the good times.

We know that the scriptures tell us we will all be judged at the last day. So will my projector be showing all the times I yelled at the kids, or had anger toward my husband? Will it show all the bad words that fly out of my mouth when I am at the end of my rope with all the inconsiderate drivers? Will it show the hundreds of thousands of times in my life when I have committed a sin? If it did, I don't think there would be much hope for me!

Before we all just throw our hands up in the air with despair, let us turn to the scriptures. Isaiah 43:25 which states: I, even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins. Isn't that such a beautiful thing? Not only did Jesus die to forgive us, but He goes a step farther by forgetting them as well. It is truly like they never happened! Isn't that thought so freeing?

Don’t get me wrong; this does not give us a free pass to just do whatever we want, and then ask for forgiveness. He knows what is in our hearts. But because He loves us unconditionally, we are freed!

When the reel of my life plays, it will just be my greatest hits! It will show all the people I loved, and all the times I decided to choose the right! My movie will be beautiful, because my life is beautiful. I hold on to that knowledge, and have hope for the future. Please join me in this knowledge and hope!

Until next week...I love you

Lea

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for joining me for Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and more of this third sacrifice in the Seven Sacrifices to Joy! Communication is what makes or breaks a bridge! Grab your coffee and your strand of faith and let’s go tie some more knots in our ongoing conversation about communication!
How is it that we can hold our tongues, be slower to speech, step back before we jump forward with our words? There is a truth that I know has been very helpful to me in this constant trial of speaking words that build up instead of tear down: Out of the abundance of the heart, a man/woman speaks! (Luke 6:45b) See, what is in our heart will come out of our mouths.
Oh, I can’t even begin to tell you how many times that something has escaped from my mouth like a robber quickly taking off with his sought-after loot only to be hit in the face with a picture of my heart!
Then I am left with the gentle conviction as my words are left exposed, as if engraved in the sand after the tide rolls away. They are there for me to stare at, their tone not hidden in the grains of sand, rather echoing back over the sound of the wave, convicting me, moving me to seek forgiveness from Him first, and then go to the one who is still stunned by the stink that my words have left in their being.
I know there is no condemnation for I am His, and yet I struggle with this question, and maybe you do too: Why does this seem to be an ongoing struggle? I mean when I started blogging four and a half years ago, one of my first blogs I wrote was about mouthing off to my husband! Does this mean I haven’t grown in this area? Ugh! Can you hear me groan?
The answer I keep hearing is: keep the heart clean. See, the heart is like the closet of the house; everything gets stored in there, but little gets cleaned out of there! If there is even a tiny bit of dust in the heart with somebody’s name on it, then out of the mouth will come that dirt. The cleaner the heart, the cleaner our words!
Whenever there is a tiny hint of resentment, any little piece of unresolved conflict, it will be the aroma that comes out with any form of communication creating more tension, and a wall inhibiting integrity. When someone steps on our emotional toe, why is it that we can’t say ouch out loud …without trying to hurt the one who hurt us? When will we realize that a hurt + a hurt = a double-hurt? Oh, don’t we need this consistent reminder? I know I do! The good news: there is forgiveness and with a truly repentant heart comes change, and grace, like a wave coming back in to wash the shadow of the pain caused by the hurtful words until we can feel the sting no more.
But how about those who don’t know how to say ouch, so they keep it in for fear of how the other will take it? In other words, they anticipate the response, assume how they will respond and so the hammer comes down again, sealing in bitterness and resentment.
Again, I hear the clean heart analogy. If we say “ouch” with a motive to hurt and tear down, or to repay evil for evil, more likely than not, the fire will grow higher and higher and the wound deeper, but if our motive is to restore, repair, then the rest is up to the other person, whom you cannot control! We must not hold back an apology based on what we think they might say, or even because we feel they wronged us first. Remember, when we get there, He’s going to talk to us about how we responded to the step on the emotional foot. Others’ hurtful behavior isn’t a free pass to misbehave.
See, God knew we’d have conflict; that’s why He spoke through Paul in Romans 12:18, for as much as is possible with you, live peaceably with others. You do your part; He’ll take care of them. Go ahead and put your name in that verse: for as much as is possible with _________, live peaceably with __________. Who do you need help communicating with today? Claim this verse over U for without the U, there is no “Us”!
Oh, that I would be so slow to speak, that my words would lift up and not tear down …
Until tomorrow,

Evinda

The Waiting Room … In the Hospital of Life March's WOW

“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.: Phil. 1:6
Thanks so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to share Coffee Hour with me … and more of this month’s WOW, The Waiting Room in the Hospital of Life. I truly hope you are enjoying what we are discovering as we walk through the rooms in the Hospital of Life with our Great Physician. Grab your coffee and your Red Strand of Faith.
So I shared a couple of exam room experiences, experiences that truly changed my life and the direction of it. Let me return to that first example, because it was shortly after the exam where He told me He was going to be taking me off of work that He actually came and took me to the O.R. room!
The morning after the county’s doctor called in an off-work order, I remember being somewhat dazed and bewildered by the events leading up to that very moment. Memories of His words spoken to me in the exam room in the mornings preceding the actual work release came flooding back to me, offering me hope, peace, beckoning me to let go and take His hand, to let the deep work begin.
I sat in my big, comfy chair with my thermos of coffee, my journal and my Bible. I remember I literally cried out, “But I’m a court reporter,” and He countered with, “No, you’re not; that’s what you did for a living. Now you will become what I’ve created you to be.”
In the months that followed, through what I deemed a spiritual open-heart surgery, He peeled back many layers, revealing lies that I had bought into, removing them through extensive counseling therapy. While on that first operating table, He also cut away a lot of bitterness and un-forgiveness I had buried towards my abusers all the while exposing some of the many painful memories. These memories were what the bitterness and un-forgiveness were wrapped up in and bound by; but now that they were out in the open, no longer suffocated by life, they left me completely, now powerless over me.
Then my Great Surgeon closed me up, temporarily, and gave me glimpses of what He was preparing me for by sending me out to speak, transparently, about my open-heart surgery and my Great Physician. Those were some powerful, out-of-body experiences, kind of like being in a recovery room sort of dazed, but cognizant of what has just happened!
That was just the beginning! I can’t even count the number of open-heart surgeries that He’s performed since then, and promises to keep performing, that I may become more like the image that He created me to be: Like Himself. (Genesis 1:27)
And in between surgeries, I walk through the hallways of The Hospital of Life, and God introduces me to so many other patients, patients in so many different walks of life. When I am discouraged, He brings nurses into my life to encourage me to stay in The Hospital of Life.
Because of all my surgeries thus far, I am able to recognize those who are in pain, and I am able to encourage them as we pass each other in the hallways of The Hospital of Life. But there are those that He brings me to walk alongside of, those other patients that have consented to open-heart surgery, allowing the transformation process to begin in the Hospital of Life, that I may comfort them with the comfort I’ve been given after each surgery. (2^nd Corinthians 1:4)
Yes, knowing that He who began this work will be faithful to complete it until the time of Christ keeps me looking in all the rooms of The Hospital of Life, that I may be His heart, His hands, or His feet. I’ll see you in The Hospital of Life!
Love,

Evinda

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Oh, it’s so good to write from my heart to yours! I pray that my learned lesson acts as preventative medicine for you in your journey toward Destination? Joyful! ™ Grab your coffee and let’s get back to the second sacrifice that makes our Father smile, a sacrifice of righteousness.
In what other ways might we offer up a Sacrifice of Righteousness? As I considered that question in my own life, and did some research in others’ lives, I realized there are some very important elements that go along with offering up a Sacrifice of Righteousness and they have to do with the condition of the heart!
Here’s something to think about: the more room you give someone in your heart, the more power they have over you. Could this be why relationships/others are the most challenging lessons in the classroom of life?
Wow, a light just went on for me … like a shooting star in the middle of the night that thinks no one is watching. Could keeping score prevent us from offering a Sacrifice of Righteousness? ABSODARNLUTELY! I’ve seen it over and over again in the Relationship trenches. And again, not to belabor my experience, as I listened to this person bring up perceived wrongs from months prior, I was stunned into silence as I realized that not only was she receiving and perceiving information incorrectly, but she had been keeping score so by the time we met to resolve these things that had become issues unbeknownst to me, she was like a pot boiling over. I truly felt compassion for her as I realized life had taught her to become a great score-keeper!
When people cannot get past an old hurt because they choose not to forgive and let go, they do not move forward in life. Instead, they stay stuck and often get buried in unresolved misperceptions.
But, you say, it doesn’t mean I’m going to forget … is forgiveness and forgetting the same thing? Ah, such a good question. I wish by forgiving that we could forget, and for some things it is possible, but for some things, especially matters of the flesh, forgetting becomes a little more difficult. In our relationship trench class last week, someone asked me about that, and I could see that they were truly struggling to understand. As I looked around the room, I could literally see the expectancy on almost every face in the class. I took a deep breath in, calling upon Him to speak through me as I thought of the least complicated way to explain the difference.
I pointed to my husband as I began. “That man has hurt me before … many times; and I have hurt him. But I don’t remember what he’s done that has caused my heart to hurt; I haven’t been keeping score, and neither has he, so we’ve been able to move forward. And then there’s the things that my step-dad did to me … things that I do not wish to glorify by speaking about, but because they were done to my flesh, and the flesh has a memory all of its own, many of those things have not been forgotten but I have forgiven him and have moved victoriously forward in my life. How do I know? My painful past has been used to fuel my passion and His platform!”
You could have heard a pin drop and I continued.
“Now, if there’s something that comes up and you feel a little pricking, a little poking that causes you the slightest twinge, then there’s still some un-forgiveness in there and the best thing to do is to confess it. Some things take a process to forgive … “
I think they got it; did you? Let me leave you with one final thought on this type of Sacrifice of Righteousness:
Forgetting cannot be used as a crutch to never make my way up Forgiveness Road!
Learning to offer up a Sacrifice of Righteousness,

 Evinda

Secret Faults & Presumptuous Sins from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Psalms 19:12-14

Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. ¹³ Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless,
and I shall be innocent of great transgression.

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Thanks so much for stopping by for our Coffee Hour today! I love knowing we share coffee hour you and that He brought you here so I can share from my heart to yours these diamonds that will hopefully shed brilliant light in your journey, especially in times of darkness. Oh, but His Word is a lamp unto our feet; don’t you agree? Grab your coffee and come with me back into our WOW, Secret Faults and Presumptuous Sins.
Just to recap, David is having this earnest talk with God, exclaiming the wonders of God, confirming who God is to him in his life and the necessity of God’s laws and precepts. And then all of a sudden, he changes the subject! Have you ever been in the midst of a conversation, following along and all of a sudden, they switch gears on you and go a completely different direction? Oh, I do that too many times to admit! Well, David has done just that; going from God’s glory, greatness, goodness to his own errors, confessing to God that only God can understand why he does what he does.

I can so relate! I mean, I know there have been many times where I’ve done something and then nearly hit myself upside the head, wondering why in the world did I do that, or say that! Oh, yeah, especially when it comes to speaking, teaching, sharing, there are times when words just can come spilling out of my mouth, overflowing onto the wrong person at the wrong time. And this hormonal tug-of-war doesn’t help me any!

Oh, the emotional aftermath after a blunder like that is enough to send me to my knees, but sometimes, I behave as if His forgiveness isn’t enough and I continue to beat myself up and continue to perpetuate the original mess and my ignorance! I’m sure between us, we can come up with a whole host of “errors” we commit daily, things that point us to our need for grace which frees us, but we better move on for the sake of not losing you! Let’s get back to David.

He then confesses that he knows that he knows who cleanses him from his secret faults, and we learned that oftentimes, an error is based on ignorance and a secret fault on arrogance because a secret fault is something we knowingly do knowing its depravity! STOP!

Oh, dear, sorry! I just felt the reigns pull my fingers off the keyboard. He keeps bringing up the same thing He brought to my attention at the beginning of this series and I don’t dare just write right by it!
See, secret faults and presumptuous sins are why He’s called me into the trenches; to join willing warriors who want help in digging up and dealing with those very things they wonder why they do! It blows my mind when I look back, because I was just going to write a book, just ONE book … five books and one curriculum later, here we are, in the trenches helping others to thrive IN their relationships and OUT of their hurts, habits and hang-ups … out of their secret faults and presumptuous sins.
So I guess before we can move on, I’m supposed to give you an explanation of why we want to expose these secret faults and presumptuous sins … Oh, Lord, really? Why can’t I just write about something light? Why does it always have to be so heavy? Ughhhhh!
Shhhh, I just heard Him drop some words in my heart: “You write light-heartedly about heavy things!”
Whew! Okay! So please don’t turn off your computer now or refuse to read on and return for more of this series. See, in our culture, we have learned to cover up our stuff and when we’re asked how we are, especially within the church, what do we answer? Unfortunately, we usually hide behind our secret fault and presumptuous sins, and allow fear, guilt and shame, despair, rage – to name a few – to keep them hidden; we say we’re fine. Sometimes we even comment: “We’re blessed.”
The truth is, there are so many of us, in the church and out, who suffer silently with and in these secret faults and presumptuous sins which keep us from the freedom that God’s sacrifice paid for. The sooner we grab on to the truth that what we can’t see can hurt us, the sooner we can bend our hearts towards transparency and expose those secret faults and presumptuous sins that are deeply rooted in our soul, tripping us up in the journey of life.
If you are a gardener, maybe you can appreciate this analogy: Weeds lurk in and around your plants, threatening to destroy their growth. When you go out to pull those weeds, do you pull a weed merely from the top or do you bend down, so you can dig down to find its root? We know if we don’t get that weed at the root, it will be back, and with a vengeance. So it is with secret faults and presumptuous sins. We must allow the Heavenly Gardener to walk in the halls of our soul and soften the soil within our hearts and loosen it up, revealing the roots that keep us in our secret faults and presumptuous sins. And then …. Freedom, glorious freedom that goes beyond the experience of first accepting Him as our Savior will be yours for all the days of your life.
Join me tomorrow for more of this scrumptious scripture!
Joyfully,

Evinda

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Jeff's Java Hour @ Chicklit Power

Jeff’s Java Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

So, first of all, how the heck are ya? I trust you are doing well! Soooooo, something happened the other night which inspired me to write on this topic, bitterness turned to un-forgiveness.
As I pulled into our apartment complex, and up to our garage, I wasn’t prepared to be unable to park where I wanted to so that started me on bitter. That bitterness stirred up more bitterness and I began to voice this mental argument with someone out loud by myself in my car while drove around and around and around to find a parking spot at my own house. I was exhausted after a long day at my new job so I’m sure that didn’t help matters. The issue that I was arguing with this person about, unbeknownst to them, was the issue of bitterness! Why bitterness? Well, I was so upset that I couldn’t find a parking spot in my complex within a hundred yards that the issue of bitterness was naturally occurring in my thoughts. I started thinking of all the reasons that my wife could have left the garage parking for me, and one thought begat another which begat another which begat bitterness.
But then, conviction entered and I really got to thinking: Un-forgiveness is a great big deal and can send one straight to bitterness; and bitterness is the souring overcoming the sweetness in our hearts. Jesus said in Matthew 18:35, “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
That quote from Jesus got me to take the mental elevator up a floor. I realized how petty I was being and how petty we all can be. I mean, think about it; Jesus forgave us not only for our sins but He let OUR sins put Him on a cross, after having been beaten within an inch of his life first and forgave us not only before He died and before we sinned but also while He was being beaten and having His beard ripped out of his face, being spat on, mocked, tortured, wrongfully accused, despised, cursed at, and so many other things and then being marched to His death while carrying His instrument of death reminding Him of how much worse the pain was going to be shortly. That is hardcore!!!
And to emphasize the forgiveness and clarify that there was no bitterness, Jesus didn’t say anything back to these people, defend himself, or hit back because those people who were doing all of these terrible things to Him were all of us. It takes real power to be meek and forgiving. How hard would it be for us to ask God to forgive the people who were nailing us to a cross while they were doing it? Hello, McFly! I don’t know if I could do that… Actually I am telling you right now I couldn’t.
He did all of that so we could come to the throne of God with confidence, knowing we are forgiven, and can receive redemption, so who are we to hold un-forgiveness in our heart toward anyone? If the murderer still has breath in his lungs, then God will forgive him if he turns his heart toward Him and repents.
Here are some truths I am learning and re-learning:
Un-forgiveness spoils our hearts and turns our love into paranoia. We begin to see people as annoying and uncooperative. We begin to think that everyone is just out to try and get something for themselves and that there are few genuine people left in the world and if we are unfortunate enough to meet one, then we soon find out that they too have faults and won’t/can’t fulfill our unrealistic expectations for them.
Un-forgiveness will turn your gifts into tools to manipulate people into the places that you want them to be in your life. For a person with the gift of giving who has been taken advantage of over and over again begins to grow bitter and their gift starts to be used as a way to attach strings to people or they turn the other direction because giving is not something that lights that part of the heart up anymore so they don’t do it.
Un-forgiveness literally takes our spirit and our bodies through a slow and bitter death. It turns into poison in our blood and does things like give us ulcers, turn our hair gray, raise our blood pressure through the roof because bitterness is a catalyst for un-paralelled stress.
I am sharing all of this with you because I was incredibly convicted in my little car thinking about these things, thankful I was actually thinking about them because they go so unnoticed every day. I am so used to living with my issues that I forget what they Bible tells me about this very subject. I need to forgive; we need to forgive, guys.
Is there someone in your life who needs your forgiveness? Ask God to bring to mind anyone in your life who you haven’t forgiven yet. You will be surprised, because when you ask, He will answer, and the crazy thing is it may be someone that you thought that you have already forgiven. This means that we have to keep forgiving that person, not just a one timer, but perhaps over and over again, especially if you see this person all the time!
Chances are if you can’t help but complain about someone when you see them or even think about them, then there is something that they have done that you haven’t forgiven them for, or maybe you need to keep forgiving them until you are completely set free from whatever it is. I was told once, from a very wise man, pray for them. And I know, it’s like “DUHHHHHH” we should pray for them, but he said not just to pray for them but to pray that God blesses that person and get specific with it.
As I made my way upstairs, I was actually grateful for the extra time it took to park because it gave God some time to deal with my heart!
Thank you for letting me share what “was” on my heart!