August's WOW - IRA or ERA

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Proverbs 23:5 Will you set your eyes on that which is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away like an eagle towards heaven.

Wow, I don’t know what you think when you read that verse, but my head and my heart so need this visual truth. It’s almost like you can see dollar bills of every denomination sprout wings and fly away, especially after a session of bill paying, huh? Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by today for our Coffee Hour! It’s that time again, our WOW time! Whew, I can’t believe August is almost gone. Where has this year gone? Anyway, if you’re new to CPM and TCU, WOW stands for Weapons of Warfare and/or Words of Wisdom so grab your coffee and your strand of faith and let’s go tie some knots as we put ourselves into our WOW for August.

Just last week, I parked my car in the credit union parking lot, ready to bang my head on the steering wheel as I contemplated what I was about to go do: -- no, I wasn’t about to rob the bank; J however, I was going to withdraw yet again from the savings account. My mind raced with all sorts of thoughts, positive, negative and everything in between. I was getting closer and closer to the ledge of despair as I calculated how much we needed this month. “But at least we have it,” I muttered aloud. Another negative thought pulled on my emotions, and again I pushed it away with a positive thought. I reminded myself that it never pays off to put our hope in money.  But let’s be honest: it sure does help us along, doesn’t it?

I tried not to dance with the enemy by entertaining the constant thoughts and questions flitting through my head as if they were all doing the fox trot on hallowed ground, but I wasn’t quite able to send all of them out on their butts. I had sort of a scowl in my heart, and honestly, I questioned God, asking Him why I had to be tested so much; I’d surrendered to my calling in ministry; what more did/does He want? A groan escaped me as tears ran down my face, tears that cried “When will you put my husband back to work?” More tears came trickling down as more questions surfaced unspoken: When would I have to stop simplifying and minimizing in the name of a budget, and when would my needs be met according to His riches in heaven? (Phil. 4:19)

What an emotional tug-of-war that was, aka, a pity party and I was the only party present! Have you ever been present at anyone else’s pity party, or thrown your own? Well, there’s nothing positive about a pity party and the longer we stay there, the more uninvited guests will show up; you know, negative Nellie, desperate Debra, sad Sally…you get the picture.  I blew my nose, wiped my face and gathered my purse and phone, ordering the thoughts to go away.  Truth pushed me out my car door and into the door of the credit union, the truth that at least we have a savings account to take from.  Funny thing was I walked right up to a teller; there was no one in line. I guess God didn’t want to give me any more time in my pity party.  I was in and out of there so fast my head was sort of spinning!

By the time I got home, I had left my pity party, physically and emotionally; I had moved on to the next thing: my last class for the semester! It wasn’t until the next morning in my own Coffee Hour with my Abba that He reminded me of that pity party with Proverbs 23:5 and I can still hear Him in a gentle kind of stern voice ask me: “Will you set your eyes on that which is not?” Oh, His Word can really render me silent and humble! And then I finished reading:”For riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away like an eagle towards heaven.”

Oh, Coffee Hour friend, there is nothing concrete about money and as I continued on with my time with Him, I was reminded that to have an Eternal Retirement Account is so much better than to have an Investment Retirement Account. What are we investing in? Are we diligently and consistently seeking after the things of God, with God and for God? How do we spend our days? Are we too busy worrying how our next bill will get paid, so much so that we miss out on those moments where we just know His fingerprints were left upon us and He provided?

Really what it comes down to is we just need to be about His business because He’s all about ours and He does have our every need in His heart and will meet it. Perhaps we confuse need with want and when we focus on a want, perhaps that want may escort us right into a pity party. Will we walk into that party, or will we turn the other way and seek to find a praise party?

The more I learn, the less I know, but this I do know: HIS WORD NEVER LIES! His promises are checks that will not bounce! You can deposit them…in the depths of your soul that you may withdraw from them whenever you need them.

As you read this, I pray that you will hear Him ask you these questions in such a loving and assuring voice and that you would know that you know that you know that He will never leave you high and dry, never leave you or forsake you and He will never leave you in time of need…as long as He’s invited to the party of your life!

Love,

Evinda

July’s WOW Worship…or Worry?

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

“Cast your cares on the Lord; He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.” Psalm 55:22

Happy day to you and thanks for returning for our Coffee Hour and our July’s Weapons of Warfare and Words of Wisdom! Grab your coffee, journal and your Strand of Faith. I’m praying you will tie some major double-knots in that SOF! I left off with hearing the words “worship or worry”!

I shook my head with conviction as I pondered on those words. Immediately I confessed my choosing to worry instead of worshipping. I got the movie and watched it from where/when it had started, ever so slow and sneakily. I should have harnessed it right back on track, but instead I followed the pull and rewinding it and really looking at it, I can see the track it took me to: seeking control! That’s not living up to God’s standard…to trust Him in all things knowing that His plan is to lift us up, not tear us down! Oh, how true it is, another mini download He gave me: the more we seek control, the more we worry.

Oh to be utterly and completely out of control trusting the “One “who has all the control. I guess a good way of saying it is the more I relinquish control the more in control I am.  But there’s more; He wasn’t done with me yet and He added some distance to my intended run! And what I heard next did stop me in my tracks…I nearly tripped over this gentle form of conviction: “Did you know that worry is a form of worship?”

As I stood there for a few minutes, I repeated those words with my own question attached to them: “How and who?”

“Worry is a form of self-worship!”

Ouch… Yes, my Coffee Hour friend to worry and be anxious about anything is missing the mark by not living up to His standard by failing to believe He loves us enough to carry us over and above all that worries us and causes us anxiety. Oh, how I love these promises that come right after the simple directive of casting our burden upon the Lord, our Abba, for He will sustain us and He will never let us fall…so this is as much for me as it is for you, Friend. Are you crumbling under worry and anxiety, or you casting all that concerns you upon the One who loves you and will never leave or forsake you?

Father, forgive me for thinking higher of myself than I ought to by trying to tend to, hold on to every detail physically, emotionally and spiritually. Please help me to worry less and worship you more…knowing YOU got this!

Letting go…hourly…of worry,

Evinda

July's WOW Worship…or Worry?

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Psalm 55:22 “Cast your cares on the Lord; He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.”

Thanks for taking time out of your day for our Coffee Hour! I almost forgot about our monthly WOW, Words of Wisdom and/or Weapons of Warfare. Oh, how true it is that the Word is our greatest tool, turned weapon , in times of difficulty, times of reaching out to others, times of joy, sadness…all the time the Word is powerfully refreshing, granting a new perspective, especially if we make a habit to feast upon it! Grab your coffee and your Strand of Faith (SOF) and let’s go and talk about worry!

I am really good at minimizing this word, offering a cliché statement like, “everybody does it,” or “who doesn’t have worry?” Well, over the last several weeks, more than I care to admit, I’ve been in a constant state of worry and anxiety, finding it difficult to take a deep breath, let alone breath normal. Let me tell you, I am learning that neither of those statements actually negates this truth: that while the Bible doesn’t call worry a sin, He does grieve when we worry. Why? Because to have worry and/or anxiety as a constant companion is actually a failure to trust the “One” who loves us so much He sent His Son to die for all that I/we worry about, for every ounce of our worry and anxiety! I so wish I would have had this vision earlier of disappointing Him. I can almost see Him standing there, looking at me run around like a chicken with my head cut off, shaking his head not in frustration or anger, but in sadness, holding His hands out, asking ever so quietly, “Are you going to give me that which worries you, Evinda, that which is causing you so much anxiety?” Oh, what a visual.

I can honestly see how easy it is to get caught in a whirlpool and undercurrent of worry! Why oh why did I minimize the dangers of worry and anxiety? There is absolutely no excuse, especially since many of His promises have come alive in me in my lifetime! Well, I am guilty as charged and now because of what I know, I must choose a different way of stress management.

Let me share how I came upon these truths:

It wasn’t until I was out for my run just the other day that this hit me…nearly stopping me dead in my tracks while allowing a source of lightning of understanding pulse through to my soul. There I was, running…not very fast. As a matter of fact, my thoughts were definitely running faster than I was, felt like at the speed of lighting. Inside my head was what felt like a thousand details to tend to for our Five-year anniversary party which was just a few days away at that time and you would think the faster the thoughts came, the more I picked up speed. Normally that’s what happens…but not this time; I think a turtle would have caught up to me!

As I wrestled with several of the details, I’m sure if someone were to take a picture of the inside of my brain, they would have seen a giant roller-coaster whose track went in every single direction, including dips and climbs, and someone resembling a freaked-out mouse on the track! :-)

I can hear you say, “Why didn’t you delegate?” Oh, I did, trust me…but could have done so even more! Anyway, I’m running along and all of a sudden, in the quietness of my soul two words came up and out and I mean I actually spoke them after I heard them! “Worship or worry”?

I almost stopped but I wanted to hear more…and I did!

Join me tomorrow for the conclusion to our July’s WOW!

Letting go of worry…one minute at a time

Evinda

Nana Holds From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to Coffee Hour and thanks so much for having coffee with me! Grab your coffee and come on in for more of this transparent series, Nana Holds! We have just a few hours before Bryden gets home and finds out his daddy won’t be coming home.

I think I understand what the term “auto pilot” means now because that’s what it felt like for the rest of the day. I did what I had to do and didn’t even remember doing it. It was like my body was there, but my mind and heart were looking up and waiting for the next instruction.

The funny thing is, through a series of silent instructions, more of the pieces of the painful puzzle of my step-son’s life appeared in the picture, bringing clarity which brought understanding. And though the pain was intense, especially for my husband, understanding went a long way in soothing it.
And while I did look for some eternal value immediately, I must confess I wasn’t happy. In fact, the more reality settled into my head about all the sacrificing required for this situation, the more I resembled Bryden in one of his fits, on my back, kicking and screaming. Oh, was I ever unlearned with it comes to not acting out of control despite my world feeling out of control!

Daddy Holds!

George came home and my heart broke for him. Not only was he in extreme emotional pain, but he was in a tremendous amount of physical pain as well. Stress has a way of doing that, pinching nerves, and manifesting itself in all kinds of hideous ways and by the time he had come home, he could barely move his head to the left because of a pinched nerve!

We had talked several times throughout the day, so he was aware of the many answers to the many unasked questions, but honestly, he was aging before my eyes. I tried to comfort him as best as I could, reminding him that God definitely had intervened in our son’s life, and the only way to go from this point was up, if he chose to do so. I felt in my gut then, and still do now, that God was going to use this tragedy for Bryce’s triumph in a way that only He could.


My hubby wasn’t able to see that right away though, or maybe he could, but it wasn’t at the forefront of his thoughts. No, his heart ached, longing to pull his son out of the murky waters he had put himself in and protect him from the ramifications from his own choices. Oh, did I ever feel his pain and I so wished I could take it  from him, but I have been through this before and I understand that while it is incredibly painful, that this is/was something we were going to have to walk through together and I was truly thankful he didn’t have to go through it alone.

Shortly after George came home, Suzanne brought Bryden home. It’s a blur, exactly what we did first, but I think we just played with him for a little while before dinner. I think I was still sort of on auto pilot. It wasn’t until we were sitting down for dinner that the question finally came, the one I had been anticipating and trying not to dread . . .

Join me tomorrow for more.

Evinda