Nana Holds

Happy day to you! Thanks for stopping by for a little coffee break at Chicklit Power. Grab your coffee and come on in for some sweet memories we made while waiting for September 24th, the date that would determine guardianship for little Bryden.

Rewinding the memories, I can’t help but smile as I see them outlined in support, the support of friends and especially CPM family. Bryden became more and more outgoing, that is until something happened and then all of a sudden we would watch him hide. And then, out of nowhere the answer of his hiding would come in that distinct odor. Yup, he was beginning to hide every time he pooped his pants!

Just the reminder makes me break out in another hot flash! I couldn’t believe it; in my 50s and God was calling me to potty-train! Really! Never in a million years did I imagine this is what I would be doing at 50-something! But it was time and so I began to get prayed up; after all, he was two-and-a-half. And despite his daddy’s mom telling me that Bryden’s daddy didn’t train until he was three, and George told me this too, I knew if I was ready, then Bryden would get there, too!
So, if you can imagine, there I was hot-flashing and daring to begin the vicarious roller coaster ride of potty-training. I remember thinking to myself that I so wanted this to be a more positive experience than it was the first and only time I did this with my son. I wanted to experience more highs than lows. I didn’t want to get myself so worked up, so instead I prepared myself emotionally for lots and lots of accidents. I wanted to be patient, patient, patient and equally as loving.

Well, it definitely takes more than good intentions! This child had to be the hardest-headed little two-and-a-half and for a couple days, I felt derailed from my good intentions. See, when he would have an accident, I’d ask him, and he’d say no!
My first reaction was that of old coping mechanisms as I inwardly accused him of lying. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why he would lie. But after a couple of those instances, and a few talks with a couple of friends, understanding settled in as I prayed for a mind of a two-and-a-half-year-old. He was just being two-and-a-half and he didn’t understand it as a lie; he just knew from my tone, my attitude, and my body language that this type of accident wasn’t a good thing. I didn’t want him to feel shame and yet my frustration contradicted that.

I was determined not to let frustration win and for there to be no memories that would scar this little guy! It was in this process that the hint of something incredibly important began to surface, but I couldn’t quite put my grasp on it. The mere hint of it pulled me up and away from old behaviors and familiar frustrations and even though I couldn’t quite tell then what it was I can now, but it’s not the right time to share it in the story.

And Bryden’s daddy was focusing on what he was in Teen Challenge for, and as we sat in our chairs waiting for them to call his name for the first phase graduation, we were convinced of that.
Yes, George and I were experiencing all kinds of redemption, amazed at His sovereignty that makes true redemption possible. Join me Monday for more moments of Nana Holds.

Transformed,

Evinda