Nana Holds From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…
Thank
you so much for taking the time out of your day to join me for your
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. I know it’s not always easy to turn the
cares of life down, or even set them aside for a bit, but I hope you
will be glad you did! Grab your coffee and come join me as a witness to a
live comfort circle.Before we get to what actually transpired in and from this comfort circle, I think I should give you a few more pieces to the puzzle, because the picture will be so much clearer with this insight!
The week before, I had approached several of the attendees and asked them to pray about participating in this exercise because I just knew it would be powerful and provide a sort of breakthrough, and not just for them but for those of us watching. Within a couple of days after that class, I did receive a Facebook message from one of the girls I had approached and she said that she and her husband would do the comfort circle. We had our first volunteers!
Now the miracle about this particular couple is that they had separated approximately sixteen months ago and just the week prior she had confided in me that they were now talking reconciliation because of what they had learned so far in this trench class! I get goose bumps when I think about it, how God has ordained the series of events that brought her to us, beginning with His prompting me while at the gym to invite her to our next CPM event over a year ago! Pay attention to those promptings because when you follow through with them, His ways will confoundedly amaze and dazzle you!
In addition to this couple there was another couple whom I had been earnestly praying for that I had hoped would
participate
and up until the time of actually beginning with our first comfort
circle exercise, I had no idea whether they were going to volunteer or
not. I tried to make eye contact and ask without words, but the moment
and therefore the answer never came to light. At least not in my time!Another powerful dynamic about this group is we had a few singles, several married but single (meaning one of the couple present) and then finally several married couples. Another amazing piece is we started with twenty-five and finished with twenty-one! That’s how much people want to know about getting relationships right!
Okay, so now let’s get back to where we were. Steve has just finished sharing, and everyone received something from what he shared, including some hearty laughter over his “Steve-isms.” As he announced that we did have a couple who had volunteered, I put the three chairs in place, all the while watching them. As you can imagine, they were incredibly nervous, and yet, I had come to know her well enough that I knew they felt safe enough to go through with it.
When they were all in their places, Steve asked who wanted to go first, and to show you how soft each of their hearts were in their resolve to do this, they did a that something that only two “friends” would have done, the old “rock, paper, scissors” game to see who would get to go first! He triumphed with his rock over her scissors, so she was up on deck.
Steve began by asking her what two feelings she feels on a consistent basis, in general. She spent some time looking over the feeling word list and said, “I often feel alone.” She hesitated as her throat filled up and then gave her second feeling, unimportant.
Her husband then had to ask why she feels these two feelings, and then he had to repeat back what she said in his own words.
The important thing to remember, as you are reading this and we had to cling to as we were watching this last week, is that feelings are not wrong or right; they are a signal for something. Just like you use your blinker on your car to signal where you’re going, we also need to be mindful of our feelings before proceeding, in other words pay attention to them but don’t let them drive. Unfortunately, when someone tells us how they feel, we tend to think “What’s wrong with you for feeling that?”!
To avoid that happening, Steve prompted him to ask the next question: “Do you ever feel these feelings when you are with me, and if so, what or when?”
Talk about a loaded question! Would you be willing to sit there and actively listen without putting on your gloves and building a protective wall up around you?
Join me tomorrow for more powerful moments that I pray will encourage you to actively listen,
Evinda
Nana Holds!
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