Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…
I know it seems as though I’ve pushed the “stop” button on time as we progress through all of the symptoms of the relationships infection, but I can’t stress enough how important it is to do this. See, all these things we are talking about are the framework for this entire series, what I feel in my bones now will become a book to encourage others who are parenting their child’s child or children.
I am beyond grateful for all that this season is teaching me, and He has blessed me beyond my wildest expectations with what looks like a “happy ending” to this series. Hint! Hint!
I promise, we’ll get there but please hang in with me while we finish
up these symptoms by answering these important questions. The answer
reveals the symptom that we must own before we can disown!The next category is rigidity. Just writing this word for you brings a smile of confession to my face. Oh, how rigid I have been in my past, and as I stood before the crowd on February 23rd, 2013, I was still symptomatic in this category!
The first symptom asks: Do you tend to think in either/or terms when there are problems, instead of looking at many alternatives? In other words, are you a person who thinks in terms of black & white, or do you leave room for middle ground? It’s funny, my answer that is, because just three months before our seminar, I was embarrassed by my rigidity and by the time February came around, I had made some progress in this area, but was stuck in between yes and no! I hope that makes sense to you.
Let’s work with an example to see if I can make this clearer for you. When we first began parenting Bryden, I struggled with rigidity as a parent figure and spoiling as a grandparent often does. If you were to put all three sets of grandparents together, I would definitely be the “rigid” one. I used to say it’s because he lives with us but now I confess it was my rigidity that had me stuck without balance for a while. Many may empathize with the fact that when the grandchild lives with you, you do have to have some form of rigidity. That is true, but the beautiful truth is George and I have learned how to discipline and when to spoil! And when it comes to disciplining this amazing little boy, more often than not, the discipline comes wrapped in love and consequently is much more effective. We’ve learned to handle many situations and circumstances on a case-by-case basis so we are not stuck on rigid. This has helped us seek other alternatives.
But what about other problems in general; do we view them as having only one resolution, our way, or do we look for other alternatives?
Life has a tendency to surprise us and many times the judgments we form about people and/or situations are incorrect. I have learned the hard way that things are never as “they seem,” and being open to alternatives has resulted in less conflict during confrontation.
Well, I’ll push the “pause” button for today, but for the sake of fluidity, we’ll skip “Wednesday’s Word” tomorrow and pick up with our symptoms check list tomorrow instead.
Have a conflict free day,
Evinda
Nana Holds!
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