Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…
Thanks so much for stopping by to have coffee with me and experience more powerful moments that are helping me to actively listen to my favorite three-year-old little boy in the whole wide world! Grab your coffee and come on in.
We left off with that loaded question, whether she had ever experienced these feelings of aloneness and unappreciated by him. I still marvel at how much self-control she was showing and she made it look effortless. Oh, my friends, two months prior, she never, in a million years, could have done this as calmly and with as much honest vulnerability as she did that night. And remember, they are still a separated couple!
You could have heard a pin drop and I already knew the answer, because of our many conversations. But her answer didn’t diminish the power of it. She said yes. She didn’t add anything to her answer; she just said yes.
He nodded his head up and down in agreement, taking it so non-defensively that I found myself internally cheering for him as well. I don’t know him like I know her, but I absolutely gained a whole lot of respect for him as I watched him through the entire exercise.
Then Steve told him what to ask next, which was a question more loaded than the previous one: “What do I do that brings out those feelings of being alone and unimportant?” Wow, talk about an open-ended seemingly never-ending question! I caught myself holding my breath and began to pray for healing after the revealing.
Very calmly, with tears streaming down her face, she gently told him some things that he did on a regular basis before their separation that contributed to her feeling alone and unimportant. I was so proud of her because months ago, before the class, she was ranting and raving about these very things but here she was, calm and cool as a cucumber! I swear if I had pompoms they would have been going up and down nonstop!
Steve then directed him to ask her if she could let him know when she was feeling these feelings, and what she needed from him.
As she explained what she needed, I found myself thinking most of it was very reasonable, and definitely understandable considering how she was loved as a child. And keep in mind, we are in no way bashing parents; they did the best they could with what they had. How they had been loved is how they could love!
Does that make any sense to you as you read this? I hope you see we are in no way trying to cling to our past; but understanding it helps us to let go of it and truly move forward consistently toward a Destination? Joyful! ™
Join me tomorrow for more
Love and laughter,
Evinda
Nana Holds!
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