Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…
Thank you for coming by for our Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and more of this series, Nana Holds, a series that is transforming many areas of my life, but especially the relationships in my life. I hope and pray it will do that for you, too. Grab your coffee and let’s get back to the other side of the comfort circle from his perception taking into account his feelings.
When the tables reversed and it was his turn to express two feelings, we all scooted closer and stretched to hear his soft-spoken expression: one of the feelings he expressed was alone! He also said he felt he was never good enough.
She looked somewhat surprised by his admission, and I know from our past conversations she never in a million years thought of him having those feelings! She sat forward in her chair, willing to listen to why and when he felt these feelings. When I think of all the frustrations she’s expressed in the past to Steve and I during her separation, I am not only incredibly proud of her, but I am also convinced that there is such a great need for getting in the trenches with others to help them sort through these relationship issues which stem from how we were loved in our childhood.
“Have I ever made you feel alone and not good enough?”
I held my breath, praying for his honesty to come forth – I already knew the answer! He looked away and down, paused, and then looked back up and ever so timidly he nodded his head up and down.
Instead of going into what her contribution was to those feelings, Steve switched it up a bit. I sat in my chair amazed as Steve walked him through a couple of childhood memories where he admitted to never being good enough in his dad’s eyes, that the only time they had communication was when his dad was telling him what he was doing wrong.
I just happened to glance quickly at Steve and what I saw took my breath away: his chin was quivering and his eyes were welling up! He was right there with him, empathizing with his childhood but definitely participating in the moments of this comfort circle, allowing his own vulnerability to shine through. I have never, in sixteen years, seen this from him!
As the scene unfolded, it became apparent that that is exactly where they had left off in their marriage; his wife had turned into his dad, and she sat in her chair ever so calmly and acknowledged her part. There was no condemnation, just understanding. It was so powerfully revealing and healing
Steve finished their comfort circle with each of them sharing two things they valued about the other. I watched Steve as he watched them and the tearful expression on his face, his willingness to cry sent me over and when he asked if they wouldn’t mind hugging they did not hesitate one bit. All I could do was cry and clap as they held each other, and I wasn’t the only one. There wasn’t a dry eye in the class.
It was so powerfully freeing to see the imprint play out. It is only when we own it that we can disown it and I treasure every moment that led up to their moments in the comfort circle. As the clapping began to subside, I looked over to the couple I was praying would participate. He caught my eye, and I his, and I mouthed, “Are you going to go?”
He nodded his head yes, tapped his wife on the shoulder, and they made their way to the front.
Join me tomorrow for more of these moments that make Nana Holds even more powerful, for my season of learning, loving and nurturing this precious little boy have prepared me for such a time as this!
Evinda
Nana Holds!
P.S. Join us today at 1:00 Pacific time for more of Breaking Free from Co-Dependency on Blog Talk Radio. If you can’t join us at 1, you can still click on the link and download any of our shows! www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power
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