Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Oh, it’s a great day to write from my heart to yours, to have this sort of fellowship/communication that I don’t take lightly but cherish knowing we spend this time together! Grab your coffee and come on in for some more foundation of communication.
Hebrews 13:16 says: "But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased." The word “communicate” means to share what you have. But why am I trying to spiritualize communication, you ask? Well, the simple answer is: This is a spiritual matter but let me explain a bit more, and thanks in advance for hearing me. :)
I don’t know about you, but my flesh can be incredibly greedy and stingy and unwilling to part with my acquired pride which drives my opinions and my need to be heard and/or understood! This becomes a fleshly hindrance to a spiritual gift but also a key to the ultimate way that communication is a sacrifice. See, the Spirit in us is quick to share, to give, to communicate. And not that we want to compare sacrifices or level of sacrificing, per se, but God is pleased when we sacrifice that which hinders the type of communication that edifies and builds up. This sacrifice pleases God because God is a living God and desires for His children to be like Him, pursuing relationships, healthy relationships.
Did you know that information is giving out while communication is pouring in? I just heard that in class the other night and thought I’d share it with you! :) So communicating is a type of sharing of ourselves, especially when it leads us to helping others or to consistent fellowship. This of course requires that we share our time, thoughts, resources, and our prayers with others. Sometimes the greatest gift you can share with someone else, especially with God, is yourself. And when people you love the most communicate the least, isn’t that infuriating? No communication is like being in a big dark room with someone and you know you’re eventually going to bump into them, but you’re not sure when! You’re left with all kinds of suppositions, predispositions and crazy expectations.
Just the other day, my husband and I were walking to our car and he communicated something to me that brought me out of what feels like that dark room and I stopped as he spoke. He said, “You know how when you’re asked, ‘how’s your day,’ or ‘how is this,’ or how is that going,’ and you don’t even think and you just say fine?”
I wasn’t quite tracking what he was saying so I said, “Sort of.”
And then he gave me a sweet example where he replayed a typical conversation we’d have at the dinner table with little Bryden and asking about his day and his one-word answers were either good or fine and we’d have to get a little bit more specific to help him use some different words. I smiled at the memories and nodded my head.
He suddenly indicated to his head by pointing to it and saying, “Well, I have so much in here, but when you ask me stuff, all I can say is the same thing.”
I was stunned into silence, my heart falling more in love with him. I didn’t know what to say. Imagine me, speechless! :)
He went on: “I know it’s a guy thing, but I don’t want to be that way with you.”
My darkroom suddenly went white with bright light and all I could do was hug him to me and suggest that maybe I could slow down, and be a safer place for his thoughts, as jumbled as they may be to lands.
Oh, you talk about a huge dose of sweet humility! Coffee Hour Friend, things are never as they seem, even in the darkroom of no communication. Continue to pray, seek to speak words that edify and build up that you and those you desire to communicate with can rise above the darkroom of no communication or painful conflict!
Love,

Evinda

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for taking the time to make the time to have Coffee Hour with me! Today we are returning to the Seven Sacrifices to Joy, and we are still on the third sacrifice of communication. Oh, what a gift … and a curse communication can be! Grab your coffee and your SOF (Strand of Faith) and let’s go tie some knots in our faith.
There are only 14 references to communicate/communication in the Bible, and its major translation means fellowship, but in many of those references unity is mentioned and so is conflict. I could feel you bristle as you read that word “conflict,” but we’ll talk about that in a minute. :) Unity is as a result of good and effective communication while conflict is as a result of not-so-good communication. Could this be why we are instructed in James 1:19 to be slow to speak? And look at all the instructions in Proverbs about holding our tongues, watching our words, etcetera. Did you get any sort of visual for either of those? Because I did and it was pretty funny!
For James 1:19 I get this visual of an extremely fast-paced runner of life being held back ever so firmly to do everything in slooooooooooow motion! Oh, what a great reminder, especially when it comes to handling conflict, or confronting someone when their words are speaking differently than their actions. See, for the sake of the greater good, in an effort to not kick the bird out of the nest, so to speak, we must be contemplative in our approach, not as though we are sneaking up on them and trying to scare them so they fall out of the nest, or the church, but gentle and thoughtful and in love expose what has been revealed that they may be restored to abiding in the Bride of Christ.
How about the visual of holding your tongue? Go ahead, grab your tongue and look at yourself! Sorry, but that’s worth a giggle or two and definitely brought back a memory or two, which I’ll share in a moment.
Proverbs 12:18 says that reckless words pierce like a sword! Ouch! I know that that thing in me called a tongue has caused more damage than any other weapon known to man! Oh, how many times have I wished that I would have held my tongue before letting some incredibly ugly words come out of my mouth! Have you ever regretted something you said almost as soon as you said it? Isn’t the feeling horrible, like a lead anchor in your heart pushing you down!
I can remember the aftermath of an argument with my second husband – third time’s a charm! We were sitting on the floor, calmly talking through an argument and discovering exactly where it had derailed into an all-out ugly fire! I was really listening to him … that didn’t happen often; trust me, and all of a sudden he said, “Give me your tongue.”
I looked at him, dumbfounded, shook my head to see if anything rattled differently and would echo a different statement and all I could say was, “What?”
He repeated himself.
I stuck my tongue out and he gently grabbed it between his thumb and index finger and the words he said etched in my heart and have remained there: “Of all the hurtful things you do, this hurts the worst.”
All I could do was burst into tears. He wasn’t trying to shame me; he was simply letting me know that every time I opened my mouth to hurl swords of insult, words that cut him down, that hurt more than anything else I had done.
Can you think of a time when words seared painfully into someone’s soul?
Yes, conflict can be a character builder, building up both the offended and the offender … but only if we are slow to communicate, step back before we jump forward.
Join me tomorrow for more on this huge subject of communication.

Evinda

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for stopping by for more of our Seven Sacrifices to Joy series. I had no idea each one would be so in-depth! Oh, sometimes I do wish I could be more surface-like, and not go so deep, and then again, the deeper we go, the less mysterious the ways of God will be for/to us and the less deceived we will live this life while waiting for the next! Grab your coffee and your Red Strand of Faith and let’s go finish this Sacrifice of Communication, which we could literally spend weeks and months on …. But we won’t! :)
So we talked about the difference between being angry at or with someone, and how that affects communication which inevitably affects relationships. We’ve also talked about how feelings can hinder or harm communication if we are controlled by them.
Now let’s talk about something else that has everything to do with communication. Do you have a hard time looking at yourself from the inside out? I’m sure you’re scratching your head, or not, wondering why I’m asking you that question. Well, because many of us have a hard time seeing ourselves as Jesus sees us – and let’s face it, many of us don’t even think about it because it’s just too hard for too many reasons, I thought it would be a great eye-opener to take this little detour!
Come with me back to the Garden where we see this truth of longing for communication/relationship explicitly played out with Adam, and Eve, and God. Adam, and Eve, both have just eaten from the forbidden tree, the Tree of Knowledge (of good and evil) and immediately they recognize that they are naked. The crazy thing is in just a few verses before the first sin [Genesis 2:25], this “nakedness” translates to without shame; in other words they have a beautifully vulnerable relationship with each other and with God. But later, in Genesis 3:7, now their nakedness translates to “with shame” because their eyes have been opened, so he begins to cover himself and Eve up with fig leaves. The vulnerability has disappeared and in its place is shame!
I can hear you asking, what in the world does this have to do with communication which is actually fellowship? Hold on, because I’m about to explain!
Have you ever busted someone in the act of doing something they shouldn’t be doing? Or do you remember being a child and getting caught doing something you just knew you weren’t supposed to do? Do you remember experiencing a bit of fear when the one who caught you caught you and called you on it? Well, imagine that emotion on steroids! :)
In Genesis 3:8, we learn that despite them, God is looking for them but as soon as Adam and Eve heard God, they ran, as if to hide, among the trees in the Garden. Kind of crazy when we think about it; to take refuge in what got you in trouble in the first place! Why did they hide? Because of their shame; that’s why.
Then God calls out, “Where are you?” Now, personally, I know He knew where they were; that was an indication that the invitation for fellowship was still valid! In other words, we see the beautiful picture of God seeking fellowship/communication by communicating His unconditional love! I don’t know about you, but every time I get that visual them running for cover and God pursuing them, it just gives me the chills while warming my heart at the same time.
See, haven’t we run from God after doing something stupid, or missing the mark? If He pursued Adam/Eve right after the original sin, then know that He pursues you and me! He sees us from the inside out and longs for communication/fellowship with us. He wants it; He doesn’t need it! He proved it by paying the ultimate sacrifice! God was the first example of the sacrifice of communication!
Now, that’s initiation for some beautiful communication!
Grateful for fellowship,

Evinda

Seven Sacrifices of Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Oh, happy day to you! Thanks for joining me for more of this series on our search for joy! Grab your coffee and your Red SOF (Strand of Faith) and come on in. We’ve got some knots to tie in our SOF so let’s get back to a great communicator who shares his gift of communication, koinonia!
We have been given another great example of someone who valued communication; he was actually an amazing communicator and spoke not only from his knowledge, which he was rich in, but his heart! He could have “coined” koinonia and koinonio for as much as he spoke about it and lived it. Can you guess who I’m talking about? Give up?
Paul! Koinonia was his favorite subject and one of the things he talked about the most in the letters he penned during some of his most difficult times, times where all he had was the gift of communication. Oh, what a great example of Romans 8:28, using Paul’s incarcerations to His glory and our benefit!
In 1^st Corinthians 1:9 Paul reminds us that God is the one who has called us into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. I don’t know about you, but oftentimes, it is hard for me to allow that truth to sink in, that God desires koinonio with the likes of me, but He does! He chose to communicate with us before we ever chose Him, and He proves it by pursuing us relentlessly. Romans 8:1 keeps coming to mind where Paul shares with struggling Christians who wrestle with not feeling good enough: He says that there is now no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ Jesus. Now, I don’t know about you, but in my first years as a Christian, if I felt I wasn’t behaving appropriately, or felt like I wasn’t measuring up, I usually stayed away until I had earned my way back. Have you ever felt like you shouldn’t show up until you cleaned up?
Coffee Hour friend, can I share with you how wonderful it is to truly understand these words of “no condemnation”? See, no condemnation is a three-prong promise that keeps the line of communication open: This means He’s not angry with us; He will not reject us, and He’s not going to punish us – despite us thinking that He’s a cause and effect kind of God. But – yes, there’s a “but” -- :) we must allow His Spirit to guide us and not our flesh to overtake us. Here’s another way to sort of simplify the whole no condemnation and living by the Spirit concept: I can’t; He can; here’s how!
Show up daily to communicate with Him. If that sounds really foreign to you, begin with just ten minutes … a tithe of your day. Start by thanking Him for at least three things that often we take for granted. Trust me when I say that when you make this a habit, three will turn into four, five, six … Maybe listen to one or two worship songs to soften your heart and align your focus. After you thank Him, mentally press the rewind on the events of the day before and be still, seeking to understand if there was an attitude, an action or anything that was out of line, missing the mark. He will be faithful to reveal so you can then ask Him to forgive and to heal you.
See when we acknowledge it, we will be more aware of it. When we become more aware of where/how we miss the mark, then we can avoid the detours that take us there to where we shouldn’t be.
This ten minutes you take to give Him will wake up His Spirit within you, helping you to be guided by His Spirit and not overcome by your flesh.
It takes thirty days to make a habit and only one day to break it! This is a Sacrifice of Communication!
Join me tomorrow for Debbie’s Faith Filled Fridays. ..
Love,

Evinda

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy day to you! It’s so good to have you to write for and to share all these beautiful facets of joy. I’ve been thinking that this will definitely be a series in my next book in the Destination? Joyful! ™ series, A Cup of Joy for the Day! Grab your coffee and your Red Strand of Faith and let’s get to the third sacrifice, communication!
As I wrote that word, I did a mental uh-oh, something tells me we may be on this one for a while as well, but, hey, that’s okay. There’s no law that says we have to get through a series in a New York minute, right? Let’s enjoy the ride.
So before we get to the actual sacrifice of communication and why it is deemed one of the Seven Sacrifices to Joy, let’s go and explore the word “communicate.” Now this word, and all its forms, shows up in the Promises of God, the instructions by God, and the Love Letters from God a total of 14 times and that’s significant enough to be a bit intriguing to me. So before I go on to the actual “sacrifice” of communication, I want to research this word a little bit. Why? Well, because as I look at the Greek Concordance under communicate, communicated and communication, beside each context is a different number which means a slightly different meaning so my curiosity is getting the best of me.
So many of us don’t like this subject; in fact, many shirk away from it which is usually because of a lack of understanding and/or a bad experience with it, but please, stay with me and let’s have some fun with this word. Who knows, it may stir up our joy and make the actual “sacrifice of communication” a bit easier to process.
Okay, so I got the chills because this Greek translation sounds like a word I’ve heard in the church for quite some time, especially Calvary Chapels: “koinoneo,” pronounced “koy-no-neh-o,” and means to share with others, to distribute, to be partakers! Look at that word again because if I were to swap that last “eo” for an “ia,” which is the word I hear so often with Calvary Chapel, the translation would mean fellowship, communion, distribution and contribution!
In English, that says communication is a two-way street with giving and receiving involved!
Have you ever participated in a conversation where one person was doing all the talking and pretty soon your ears were just overflowing and needing a break because the person was talking non-stop, and usually about themselves, and offering no break for you to distribute or contribute to the conversation? Well, that is not true “koinoneo”!
True communication does however require that I wait to speak until I truly understand what the other person is trying to say. Oftentimes, that may require me to have to ask questions along the way to understand their perception, their point of view, and that’s okay. Here’s the key: truly listening to the other person does not mean that you agree with him. That reminds me of something that happened while sitting down in the airport a couple of months ago waiting to be called to board the plane to Austin, Texas. It was an incredibly awkward but insightful moment involving this young couple that I couldn’t help but overhear. I really wasn’t intentionally eaves dropping! :) Their tones revealed that they were in the midst of a “moment” and several times I heard her say: “I just need you to understand my perspective”; and “I just want you to look at it from my point of view.” She must have pleaded this request in all its possible ways – at least seven times – and the guy was growing increasingly frustrated but remaining pretty calm.
Do you know how hard it was for me to sit there, drink my water and eat my bag of Chex mix – my lunch since the lines for any and all nutritious foods were almost out to the entrance of security—and not say a word? I wanted so very badly to lean into the young guy, whom I was sitting right next to because of there being more people than seats, and just whisper, “It is really okay to give yourself permission to see it from her perspective. It doesn’t mean you agree; but oh the value you will give to her and the quicker you will resolve your apparent conflict.” When we validate, there’s room to negotiate!
True listening doesn’t require that you agree but it is part of good communication! And the more we listen, the more we learn.
A very good friend and fellow board member calls this, with a sweet smile on his face, the big ears/little lips syndrome! God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason: He wanted us to truly embrace, endure and enjoy koinoneo!
Paul speaks about this very thing in Galatians 6:6: Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches. We can’t learn if we’re not listening, and we don’t have to limit this to being taught the word, but the principle is the same and we see that true koinoneo in the “share in all good things.”
Join me tomorrow for more diamonds behind communication that will illuminate in our understanding of a Sacrifice of Communication.
Listening …
Evinda

The 7 Sacrifices to Joy-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

The Seven Sacrifices to Joy-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Oh, happy day to you! Thanks for joining me for more of this series within a series, The Seven Sacrifices to Joy! Grab your coffee and come on in. Let’s get back to Paul and his gift of communication, koinonia!
Let’s move on to someone who valued communication, was actually an amazing communicator and spoke not only from his knowledge, which he was rich in, but his heart! He could have “coined” koinonia and koinonio for as much as he spoke about it and lived it. Can you guess who I’m talking about? Give up?
Paul! Koinonia was his favorite subject and one of the things he talked about the most in the letters he penned in some of his most difficult times, where all he had was the gift of communication via his letters and I’m sure that’s why he could write so passionately about it because we all know that saying: you don’t know what you’re missing until it’s gone!
In 1^st Corinthians 1:9 Paul reminds us that God is the one who has called us into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Do you see that word koinonio? I don’t know about you, but oftentimes, it is hard for me to allow that truth to sink in, that God desires koinonio with the likes of me, but He does! He chose to communicate with us before we ever chose Him, and He proves it by pursuing us relentlessly.
I can’t help but take a little detour here back to the Garden where we see this truth explicitly played out with Adam, and Eve, and God. Adam, and Eve, both have just eaten from the forbidden tree, the Tree of Knowledge (of good and evil) and immediately they recognize that they are naked. The crazy thing is in just a few verses before the first sin [Genesis 2:25], this “nakedness” translates to without shame; in other words they have a beautifully vulnerable relationship with each other and with God. But later, in Genesis 3:7, now their nakedness translates to “with shame” because their eyes (of their hearts) have been opened, so he begins to cover himself and Eve up with fig leaves. The vulnerability has disappeared and in its place is shame!
I can hear you asking, what in the world does this have to do with fellowship? Hold on, because I’m about to explain!
Have you ever busted someone in the act of doing something they shouldn’t be doing? Or do you remember being a child and getting caught doing something you just knew you weren’t supposed to do? Do you remember experiencing a bit of fear when the one who caught you caught you and called you on it? Well, imagine that emotion on steroids and then multiply that by a hundred!
In Genesis 3:8, we learn that despite them, God is looking for them but as soon as Adam and Eve heard God, they ran, as if to hide, among the trees in the Garden. Kind of crazy when we think about it; to take refuge in what got you in trouble in the first place! Why did they hide? Because of their shame; that’s why.
Then God calls out, “Where are you?” [Genesis 3:9] Now, personally, I know He knew where they were; that was an indication that the invitation for fellowship was still valid! In other words, we see the beautiful picture of God seeking fellowship/communication by communicating His unconditional love!
I don’t know about you, but every time I get that visual of them running for cover and God pursuing them, it just gives me the chills while warming my heart at the same time. See, haven’t we run from God after doing something stupid, or missing the mark? If He pursued Adam/Eve, then know that He pursues you and me! He longs for fellowship/communication with us. He doesn’t need it; He wants it! He proved it by paying the ultimate sacrifice! God was the first example of the sacrifice of communication!
Now, that’s initiation for some beautiful communication! Join us tomorrow for Jeff’s Java Hour!
Grateful for fellowship,

Evinda

Monday's Manna from Castro's Corner @ Chicklit Power

Happy Monday Manna!

I pray each and every one of you had an awesome weekend. Last week was an interesting one for me. We had a company meeting in Las Vegas and I drove up separately, since my sister-in law Amanda is still hanging onto her baby at 39 weeks! I reassured my wife that if Amanda did go into labor, I would have the ability to ditch out early but of course this wasn’t the case and she WILL BE induced this Tuesday so all prayers are welcomed! I had the honor to share rooms with a believer and brother over those three days and we had some awesome fellowship.
As I was driving to Vegas I began to think of my wife Kay and I just thanked God for her and all of the support she provides to me. There have been countless instances of doubting my own abilities to lead the awesome team God has given to me, but Kay always reassures me that I can do it. She’s so strong, and I often feel like I’ve failed when I lose faith or when the race becomes too overwhelming. Her words of encouragement always lift me up and I can’t begin to thank God enough for this woman that has literally rocked my world. The enemy sees my weaknesses as opportunities, but Kay always reminds me that my weaknesses are made perfect through God’s ability [2nd Corinthians 12:9]. Marriage is God’s institution, not man’s.
Maybe I think too much while I’m on the road. I’m the driver that forgets how he got from point “A” to point “B,” even if the drive was over 100 miles. Driving serves as private time for me to just thank God for all he has done in my life and although sometimes it’s distracting as I’m trying to pray over my little Toyota’s roaring motor as it tries to keep up with traffic on the I-10, I still make private time with my Creator.
As I approached the towering buildings, the scandalous billboard advertisements, and the bright lights of the Las Vegas strip, I felt like I was too far away from home. I parked and checked in at the resort and found out I was rooming with Mike, one of the strongest believers and brothers in my life. We woke up the next morning and prayed together, got in the Word, and even had conversations about what we though heaven would be like. Fellowship does happen in Las Vegas!
We attended the company meeting later that day and the Vice President awarded our owner with an award that we all pitched in for. Our owner is a prolific speaker (Just like Evinda) and when he walks into a room, his presence is known and people just look and listen attentively. He has a huge heart and as he began to speak about our mission as a company, he reminded us that our primary goal is to serve our members with humble hearts. As he continued to speak, he began to get choked up and so did the rest of the audience. I am so thankful that God has given me the ability to be part of a team whose mission is to change lives.
Have an awesome week!

The Adulterous Woman From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me at Coffee Hour for a little break and the continuation of The Adulterous Woman, which we still haven’t met, but we are getting close! Grab your coffee and come on in.

We left off with the answer to why everyone was whispering in their little groups at this party: Because if these so-called leaders heard them, their worst nightmare would begin: excommunication from the synagogue.

So this explains why no one would speak up for Jesus -- STOP! We have to take this detour; it’s too relevant in our lives today not to. So let’s look up the definition of excommunicate in the Merriam Webster’s Dictionary: excommunication – 1: an ecclesiastical censure depriving a person of the rights of church membership. 2: exclusion from fellowship in a group or community.

Oh, I just saw something else, another interesting fact from the World Encyclopedia: Excommunication – Formal expulsion from the communion of the faithful from sacraments and from rites of a religious body. Largely abandoned by Protestants, excommunication has been retained by Jewish congregations and by the Roman Catholic Church.

Remember, we’re in the New Testament with two major bodies of religion, if you will, Jew and Gentile, sort of like our two governmental bodies, Republican and Democrat, and just as we see the unnecessary fighting between those bodies, imagine that kind of constant rift all because of Jesus and His Father who desired then, and desires still, fellowship and relationship with His chosen people, the Israelites/Jews, and the Gentiles, you and me! I’m trying to paint a verbal picture of constant tension, a major power struggle, if you will, that caused these Jews to whisper their true desire to know more about The Christ that they’d been hearing about for as long as they had been walking.

Religious Leader

Imagine the fascination they must have experienced. Who was this Guy who was said to be abolishing The Law that they had been spoon fed from the time they could eat of spiritual food? Was there really a possibility that they didn’t have to obey the Law down to the letter? If He wasn’t The Christ, how could He know that they didn’t keep the Law Moses had given down to all of them? And what about that guy He healed on the Sabbath?

Oh, yes, there was much conversation going on about Jesus, and I can only imagine the confusion that overwhelmed the hope of those who were searching for The Christ. This type of conversion that believing He to be Who He said He was would be like you and me converting from Christianity (New Testament) to Judaism (Old Testament) theology. Do you feel the jump? It’s almost insurmountable, too much to wrap up on one blog….

Join me for more on this detour Wednesday.

Thoughtfully,

Evinda
P.S. Join me today at 1:00 Pacific time for our Blog Talk Radio show, Breaking Free from Co-Dependency at www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power