Power Friday From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me today for Power Friday at Chicklit Power. Can you believe it; it’s almost Christmas and within days, another year will be gone, the memories of it remaining in my heart! Whew, grab your coffee and come on in.

Today’s power thought is still in the same vein of breaking free from co-dependency and I pray it resonates in your mind and travels down into your soul to root and thereafter blossom in your life as it is beginning to in mine!

A true sign of breaking free from co-dependency is when we no longer use someone else’s perceived mistake as a permission slip to repay, get even or teach them a lesson!

Have an emotionally, spiritually and physically healthy weekend!

Evinda

Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks so very much for joining me, especially in the busiest season of the year! Grab your coffee and come back in for more of Nana Holds! I may keep you just a few minutes longer today so we can get through an incredibly important point, so make yourself comfy. I’m trusting that it will be worth your time!

A couple of blogs ago, I left off with a question about who was more blessed, the one who struggled less and had more, or the one who struggled more and had less? Well, I’d like to take this blog to answer that, which means I’ll be somewhat fast-forwarding to where we are emotionally and spiritually today, but it took several months to get here and I’m so glad I didn’t give up! See, in those first few months, I was still struggling with all the sacrificing and questioned why I had to go through all of this, why I had to give up my life as I had known it, my weekends and I didn’t feel very blessed. And although I was making the necessary changes, and sacrifices, my heart wasn’t quite in it all the way. All that has changed and I don’t want to give too much away but let me just share a couple of those life-changing revelations that have helped me to jump in with my whole heart!

When I was preparing for our November event titled “Living Outside Your Circumstance,” I realized then that He was allowing this and as long as I allowed Him to even with just a little piece of my heart, He would use it for something incredible. He showed me through a verse in John that the answer to living outside this circumstance, and any circumstance is actually within; that in order to get through it, and rise above it, we must acquire an eternal perspective to rise above our external circumstance. This is the verse: These things I have spoken to you; that in Me you may have peace. In the world, you WILL have tribulation but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world!

Well, the word tribulation got my attention and I was off and running to my Greek and Hebrew concordance and wow, what a treasure! Tribulation translates to “thlipsis” in Greek and primarily means “a pressing, pressure, anything which burdens the spirit and is often accompanied by anguish.” Hang on with me here because this gets better. So the root word for tribulation is actually a sort of sifting machine, a machine that goes and sifts the bad from the good by applying pressure!
There it is; the 10-karat diamond that sparkles with truth that shows us that circumstances/tribulations can work for our eternal good by sifting out the bad, separating it from the good, if we let them! Remember when I admitted that I saw myself as a not-so-kid-friendly Nana when this blog started? Well, I now know that He doesn’t want me to keep this perception, and through this circumstance and season, He’s going to separate the bad from the good and I will be transformed in the process to be more like Him, closer in His image.

Yes, most definitely, this circumstance, this tribulation has been working like a high-pressure sifting machine, cutting away the bad in me, unleashing me from a bondage I had no idea I was trapped in thereby bringing to surface the good. What’s telling about this is oftentimes, as soon as hardship comes our way, we automatically conclude, this couldn’t be from Him, and we begin to squirm and wiggle our way out, or scream our discontent and questions, shaking a finger at Him while hardening our heart.

When we ask why to a circumstance — and it’s okay to question, by the way — Jesus would have us remember that in a very real sense, Satan is temporarily in charge of this world and exercising squatter’s rights, and we all know that squatters don’t get to stay! Though it may look like the enemy is winning, GOD is the only one who can take the ugly pain, hurt, sorrow and any other side effect of our circumstance and turn it into something amazing.

In the meantime, don’t blame God for all the circumstances that you perceive to be wrong in your life; instead, look for an eternal good for your external circumstance, because when you take the X out of external, what do you have? So when I ask myself that question now, I can definitely look up and say, I am incredibly blessed for all I have gone through for He has used every bit of it to entwine my heart with His and I am humbled to know and realize just how much planning He has had to do on my behalf to get me where I am with Him and take me where I’m going, on my way to eternity!

I’d better let you go for now. Please join me on Monday for more of this journey of some of God’s most incredible sovereign multi-tasking skills ever displayed in my life.

Joyfully,

Evinda

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me today. Wow, only six more days until CHRISTmas! I hope you have been able to keep an eternal perspective during this season and are experiencing the true gifts of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control! Now that’s an eternal perspective. Grab your coffee and come on in.

About six weeks after that day that changed all of our lives, Bryce got a “job” transfer to a place that allowed visitors. It was a place we were familiar with because we had gone to see my son there for a season several years ago, a place of recovery with a home-like atmosphere, a place that I never stop thanking God for because life-changing seeds were planted in my son’s life that have rooted and in the not so distant past, began to sprout out and reach others! Teen Challenge will forever be on my top 10 blessing list!

I can’t even begin to tell you what a miracle it is that he’s there, let alone how he got there, but out of respect for him and his journey, that’s all I’ll say about that. To God be the glory and trust me when I say that He does work all things out for His glory for the good of those called according to His purposes. Bryce was “called” years ago; he just didn’t know it.

Within a few days of his transfer to his new “job,” Teen Challenge called George and asked him if we could take him to get a physical and some shots and they also let us know we could bring his clothes and personal belongings. This was another miracle because usually when a student begins the program, they do so with the understanding that they don’t get to have visitors for the first 30 days!

That visit is something I’ll cherish for years to come and it was time that helped ease the pain of the past, a time where we

received some answers to some questions and some suspicions confirmed, and a time where my stepson, for the first time affirmed me. It didn’t erase the past by any means, but understanding always eases the pain, and clarity makes it easier to move forward. When we hugged him good-bye that day, our hearts were much lighter than they had been in the weeks prior, and his last words lifted me off the ground for the whole trip home: “I love you, Kim.” I can’t even begin to put into words how thankful I was that for the prior months, I had hung on to the Father’s garment, sometimes with white knuckles, in order to show this young man love!

We found out about family visiting day just a few days before it was scheduled and I began to prepare Bryden by letting him know that Daddy had gotten a promotion in his job and now he’s somewhere where we can go and visit him. Unfortunately, because of the short notice, I couldn’t get out of a commitment, so George and Bryden went. I’ll forever wish I could have seen what my husband described as he saw his daddy for the first time in almost eight weeks!

They pulled into the church parking and sat for just a few minutes before they saw the Teen Challenge van. George says, “Bryden, there’s your daddy coming in his work van.” Bryden’s eyes followed Papa’s finger and he began to shout for his daddy. George got out of the truck and went around to Bryden’s side and began to get him out of his car seat all the while Bryden was saying “daddy, daddy, daddy.” Talk about an excited little boy. George set him down on the ground and by that time, the van had parked and the guys began spilling out of it.

Suddenly, Bryden pulled away from Papa and with a burst of energy that matched a rocket. He bolted across the parking lot shouting only one word in the happiest of voices: “Daddy, daddy, daddy. . .” It was like each time he said it, he gained momentum. And oh, what I wouldn’t give to have seen Papa as he tried to keep up with him, protecting him from any oncoming cars until Bryden landed ever so enthusiastically and safely in his daddy’s arms.

Joyfully,

Evinda

Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me for a little break at Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power. I know, especially during this time of year, taking a break is not always an easy thing to do! Grab your coffee and come on in.

Some things got a little easier going into the third week. For example, we were getting into some sort of a routine despite many arrows from others who unknowingly brought chaos to the structure and stability we were trying desperately to give little Bryden. But God is so good and He provided great support with friends, and especially with daycare. By this time, he had been with them for a little over six months and not only did he love his “Shuzanne,” as he calls her, and Donald, but he was totally attached to his two little playmates, their two children, and he almost always embraced going off to play for the day with them. Some mornings I would watch him walk to her car and marvel at just how tough God had created him and how well he was adapting.

And while there were a few cries for “daddy” that were answered with reminders that he was at a big job, the most important job of his life, there were many moments of giggles and playfulness. Unbeknownst to us, God was using this little guy to bring out the child in both of us, to get us to play again, laugh again despite the painful circumstance.

My heart smiles every time I rewind back to the early weeks and how He used Bryden to ease my husband’s sorrow. Watching them play always chased the sorrow away, pushed back all the questions of what-if, how, why, and every other question that threatened to steal those happy moments. Day by day, we were settling into our roles of Mama/Dada and praying for the day when we would be able to be Nana/Papa again, and yet, we were also realizing that in our new roles there would be opportunities to be both; that God would redeem all that the locusts had stolen.

And then a few weeks later, our Heavenly Father did just that when we found out that our son would be changing jobs and going to a new job that would allow for visitors!

Join me tomorrow for more moments and memories of this life-changing season and Nana Holds.

Evinda

Merry Christmas from Bryden and Nana!

Nana Holds From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me today for our Coffee Hour and this life-changing series Nana Holds. It encourages my heart knowing there is you to share it with. As I go out into the world and hear story after story of life happening, my heart hurts over the number of people walking in our very shoes, these shoes that were so uncomfortable at first and needed some serious stretching and breaking in.
Oh, to comfort others with the comfort we’ve been given! Grab your coffee and come on in.

The second week was a bit easier as far as getting into a routine with Bryden, but tougher emotionally as I realized how fragile my husband was. As I look to my journal for a recordation of what was happening, I am shocked at how raw my own emotions were and just how fragile George was, his fragility stretching me beyond my capabilities, causing me to rely on our God more than ever. As I rewind to that period of time, I certainly wouldn’t give me an A in the area of compassion and patience, but I did get a “passing” grade, at least.

We were dealing with raw emotions from all sides and I’m not sure whether it’s fortunate or unfortunate at this point – it felt and still feels unfortunate to us – but Bryden has a lot of family that loves him, including his biological mother, as much as she is capable, and her parents. Talk about issues! So since there isn’t a whole lot that would edify, I’m not going to let anything fly out of my mouth. Maybe someday I’ll have a huge testimony to share when it comes to all of them, but our struggle felt more like major interference as they wanted a piece of little Bry, too! So while we were trying to create some sort of stable environment for him, they were tugging on us, demanding they get to see him too.

As I think about it, all of that struggling led to many good things but the first apparent one was that we realized we were going to have to do something legal in order to protect him and by doing so, we would bring some sort of security to this tough little guy and shield him from others’ craziness and selfishness.

Yes, looking through the second week’s journal entries, the eyes of my heart opened to the reality of the constant threat upon our home and marriage and the cry of my heart was unto Him. I prayed for understanding, strength and a love beyond myself, and His answer often came through this little boy who was now in the habit of saying: “Nana holds,” and soothing my ever-aching soul.

Join me tomorrow for more of this life-changing series,

Evinda

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

P.S. Join us today for more of breaking free from co-dependency on Blog Talk Radio! www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power

Power Friday From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome and thanks for stopping by Coffee Hour for Power Friday. Grab your coffee and come on in.

So if you’re new to our Power Fridays, let me just share with you, these “power” thoughts are actually revelations that I’m receiving as I break free from co-dependency, which is happening at a slow, slow rate, but nevertheless it is happening! To God be the glory for the tools and people He is using to help me in this process, namely Steve Atkinson, my co-host on Blog Talk Radio.

Anyway, this power thought came to me just last week and is a great reminder that co-dependency is rooted in fear and anxiety and when we learn to recognize that, we can gain a bit of momentum in fighting this viral infection off. I hope it helps you and feel free to pass this on to your friends . . .

Is someone or something pushing your anxiety button? Answer it with prayer!

Less anxious,

Evinda

Nana Holds From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks so much for taking time to come have coffee with me. Grab your coffee and come on in.
Before I get back to where we left off, let me ask you a question; it’s one that I answered one way in the beginning months of becoming Mama/Nana, and now can honestly answer it another way: Who is more “blessed,” the woman/man who has much, struggles little and has no need for a relationship with Christ, or the woman/man who has less in the way of monetary things, struggles quite often but has this consistent joy, this untouchable peace?

See, in the first few months, I was asking “why” every bit as much as I was seeking Him for the “how.” One of those times I asked why and how came the second week. We were taking a walk around the neighborhood, one of the ways we were learning how to help Bryden spend some of that energy that I so wish I could bottle for George and me, because if I could, I’d be downing a big drink of it toward the end of the day. It’s like about 5:00 or thereafter, my energy has taken flight and it doesn’t return until the next morning! (Now, at about 3:00, I pray for strength for the next shift, the final shift of the day!) Anyway, we had all three of our four-legged kids – both of ours and Bryce’s big four-legged child – and we would attempt to let Bryden take one of the leashes and off we’d go.

We would go down our street, left at the end and head up that street which dead-ends at the golf-course. The first time we did this as we got closer and closer to the golf course, Bryden became more antsy and unsettled and then as we began to pass it, suddenly, out of nowhere, he stopped and began to cry with everything in him. George and I stopped in our confusion and his word collided with my realization of where his sorrow was coming from simultaneously.

See, he and his daddy used to always take a walk with the little red wagon. Bryden would be in the wagon and daddy would pull him; that is until they got to the golf course. Then Bryden would get out and they would both down into the ravine, looking for the golf balls that had erroneously disappeared from a golfer’s view and had gathered down in the wash/ravine. It was like a gold mine down there.

For Bryden, it was ball heaven because his very favorite thing is balls, golf balls, soccer balls, basketballs, baseballs, and let me tell you, he has a God-given talent when it comes to hitting and/or kicking them. Then they would gather them all up and put them in the wagon and make their way back home. A successful hunt was five to ten and an okay night was one to three, but no matter how many they found, Bryden was super thrilled. And we had to keep every one of them. Some went in his toy box in the family room, some in a glass container on the counter in his bathroom, some upstairs in his room, and of course, a few got left in the wagon.

Well, there we were trying to pass the golf course but stopped dead in our tracks. I bent down to reach for him just as he cried out “Daaaaa-deeee. I want my daddy.” I hurried to scoop him into my arms. As I felt my heart break, my mind asked why. Why does a little one have to endure so much sorrow? How does a little one endure so much sorrow and how do I do this, God? How? Somebody show me how.

We began to walk again with me holding him while he cried for a couple of minutes. And as we got away from the place that reminded him of his daddy, he calmed down, and he wanted down. As if it had never happened, he took Sparky’s leash and scurried down the sidewalk and it was all we could do to keep up with him. Inwardly, I was marveling at the new insight I had just received: God had made this little guy tough, resiliently tough and somehow, some way, we were all going to get through this circumstance.

Join me Monday for more of Nana holds, and we’ll return to that question I began our time with today.

Confidently,

Evinda