Jenn’s Journey

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Good morning, my friends! Thank you for stopping by. Take a load off for a few minutes; enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, or maybe something cold on this last day of August. I've been reading more lately, and it's like finding an old friend.  Reading for pleasure has often taken a back seat in my busy life. I'd forgotten how easy it is to get into a good story!

The other night, I was reading to my daughter before bed. The story she chose was "Rapunzel." Most of you are familiar with that one…the beautiful girl, locked in a tower, with her hair as the ladder for the mean woman who locked her there. She was not allowed to see, talk to, or be with anyone else. The wicked woman becomes incensed when she learns that there has been a visitor to the tower. In fact, one of the versions says, "I thought I had separated you from all the world and yet you have deceived me." I am not certain why this is considered a children's story; rather it is a story of abuse, due to the selfishness of one person.

This story has prompted me to share a little bit more of my own story. I have hesitated to do so, for many reasons. However, I saw a quote the other day that said "God wants you to use your past to help someone in the present." So, here goes.

I have alluded to a difficult marriage in my other blogs. It was more than difficult; it was emotionally and verbally abusive. However, it did not start that way. He was charming, nice, funny, thoughtful, caring, honest, talkative, all the things I had looked for in a man. Though we met at a wedding in another state, our conversations and letters led me to believe we had a great friendship. His decision to move to California rather quickly seemed as if he felt the same way. I always thought it big of him to move from family, friends and his hometown to be with me. I had no idea that the many hours he spent pouting, in a room alone, over the fact of moving, was the beginning of trying to isolate me, but that’s what he eventually did.

I was used to meeting friends for dinner, at the gym, at church, having friends over, but now I was forced to choose. Did I “really love” him? If so, why was I doing those things now that he was here? If he did meet with family or friends with me, he would find fault with one or more of them and refuse to ever see them again. I found myself doing things alone, yet feeling guilty for leaving him even though it was his choice not to participate.

I knew something was wrong but I could not put my finger on it. At times I'd speak up, with tears or with anger, begging to understand. I remember once I said I could not understand how I could get along with everyone else, yet it was a daily struggle with him. His answer "They don't live with you." Many times I asked him to come home from work earlier so we could have a date night…the response was, "If you were a pleasant person to come home to I might."

I began believing I was the problem, the cause. I felt isolated and alone. I went through a period of major depression, to which I was told I was the most depressed person he had ever met. Though he greatly disliked my family, he told me for years that each of them had come to commiserate with him for having to live with me. He'd be unusually nice to some people, which led to further confusion on my part. Once I offhandedly remarked that I had thought we were good friends and he snapped back, "You're not my friend; you're just my wife." During five years of infertility, I'd hear remarks such as "You don't give me enough sex to actually get pregnant," or "You act as if you're the only one who's ever had to go through this."

Abusive isolation comes in many forms. Words meant to tear down self-worth, insinuating that others think poorly of you too; hints that you're not showing your love by doing this, or that, or comments that make you question yourself. "If he sees this, maybe everyone does."

Trusting others becomes nearly impossible. None of this happens quickly. It's more like a dripping faucet that suddenly causes a flood.

I always thought of abuse as physical or sexual. That is what we hear of most often. At this time, there is not as social recognition of verbal and emotional abuse as there needs to be. I pray for the day when that will change, because it is just as damaging. This is one reason I choose to share; I want to make a difference.

I thank God for rescuing me from the tower of isolation.  Yes, "I am His workmanship, created in Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that I should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10.

Until next week, be blessed,
Jenn

Croley’s Corner @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

In our years of being involved in Ministry, we pursued after God and His direction for our family! Grab your favorite beverage and journal as we take a look at a word of encouragement and edifying during a time of great need! My husband wanted to go into the mission field; this was his heart’s desire for as long as I can remember. One of our first experiences in our travels was to Mexico, a town called Tent City, which had been flooded, and these precious people lived in tents. The entire town had been wiped out. The extent of our Spanish was what we caught in High School, so, naturally, going into this we would experience a language barrier.  Thank the Lord we had an interpreter. 

Upon our arrival you could sense the eagerness of the people who were in need of rebuilding not only their homes but also their lives, emotionally and spiritually.  Our desire was to make sure that everything that was said or sung was understood appropriately. And it certainly was, even at the most poignant time the Holy Spirit bridged the gap.  Although there was a language barrier the gift of prophecy overcame all language barriers for the Holy Spirit operated as the interpreter declaring the preeminence of God’s love through the entire team. And as the church began to rebuild, they were edified by the fact that their work was not in vain. They were exhorted to know they were in the perfect will of God and comforted by the assurance that He would continue to build His Kingdom through them, regardless of their great tragedy.

Love, edification and encouragement were our primary pursuit.  Many times we can find ourselves not speaking to one another because of fear which can certainly qualify as a “language barrier amongst each other as believers.”

1) Edification is “building up.”  It is a construction term, and speaks of our being “built up” in the Lord.  A word of prophecy will build someone up, not tear him or her down. Ephesians 4:29

2) Exhortation is encouragement.  It is like the speech from the coach in the locker room, rallying the team to go out and perform as they have been trained to perform.  A word of prophecy will encourage someone, not discourage him or her.

3) Comfort has the idea of not only consoling, but also strengthening.  It doesn’t just cry with someone hurting; it puts its arms around them and strengthens them to carry the load.  A word of comfort will strengthen, not weaken someone.

Today the church is prospering and evangelizing in the very depths of Mexico pursuing passionately, and desiring eagerly to grow His Kingdom. I challenge you to ask the Lord in the next seven days to show you who’s in need of encouragement, edifying or comfort. It just may mean the matter of life or death, spiritually and there’s no need to worry about a “language barrier” He will fill your mouth; He just needs a willing heart! “Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy.” 1 Corinthians 14:1 ….”But he who prophesies speaks edification and exhortation and comfort to men.” 1 Corinthians 14:3 

Until next week, be encouraged and keep Him close to your heart

Deb

Paws for Coffee Hour

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Oh, Coffee Hour friends, you’re going to love this one…grab your coffee, your Strand of Faith, and some tissue, especially if you’re a dog lover!

Last week was bittersweet.  I sent my oldest son back for another God-filled year at Liberty University.  We had a great (and super busy) summer.  My dogs got spoiled with all of the guests we had but especially having Josh home for three months; they always had someone home to be with them and Josh is like me: he treats the dogs like people. 

I think we underestimate the power of the connection between man and dog.  They know us as individuals by sight, sound, smell and touch.  They can sense emotion, the tone of our voice and danger.  The bond is strong.

My son, Josh, had gotten his suitcases out a few days before his trip back and as soon as he did that, the dogs started acting differently.  Cory, the golden, got more attentive and clingy.  He spent every waking moment with Josh.  Logan, the husky, got more rambunctious.  At one point I though he was going to start taking his things out of the suitcase.

The day that Josh left was interesting.  He kneeled down and Corey, who had been pressed up against the front door, lumbered over and pressed into Josh.  He licked his face and said his goodbyes.  Logan, on the other hand, wouldn’t even look at him.  He knew part of his pack was leaving and didn’t want to deal with it.

This time of year is full of changes.  School is back in session; people move;, new jobs are starting and kids move away from the nest.  Change is bittersweet.  The sweetness is in knowing that the people in our life are fulfilling their calling and purpose.  The bitter is the sadness and empty space they leave behind. 

I have been Logan, walking away and not wanting any part of the goodbye.  It hurt too much.  I want to be like Corey, pressing in and taking that last moment to savor the relationship, the bond.  Life is too short and God has called us to love one another….that means loving them through goodbyes and having true joy for their future.

When/if you have to say good-bye, think of the true joy for their future!

Jen, Corey and Logan

August's WOW - IRA or ERA

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Proverbs 23:5 Will you set your eyes on that which is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away like an eagle towards heaven.

Wow, I don’t know what you think when you read that verse, but my head and my heart so need this visual truth. It’s almost like you can see dollar bills of every denomination sprout wings and fly away, especially after a session of bill paying, huh? Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by today for our Coffee Hour! It’s that time again, our WOW time! Whew, I can’t believe August is almost gone. Where has this year gone? Anyway, if you’re new to CPM and TCU, WOW stands for Weapons of Warfare and/or Words of Wisdom so grab your coffee and your strand of faith and let’s go tie some knots as we put ourselves into our WOW for August.

Just last week, I parked my car in the credit union parking lot, ready to bang my head on the steering wheel as I contemplated what I was about to go do: -- no, I wasn’t about to rob the bank; J however, I was going to withdraw yet again from the savings account. My mind raced with all sorts of thoughts, positive, negative and everything in between. I was getting closer and closer to the ledge of despair as I calculated how much we needed this month. “But at least we have it,” I muttered aloud. Another negative thought pulled on my emotions, and again I pushed it away with a positive thought. I reminded myself that it never pays off to put our hope in money.  But let’s be honest: it sure does help us along, doesn’t it?

I tried not to dance with the enemy by entertaining the constant thoughts and questions flitting through my head as if they were all doing the fox trot on hallowed ground, but I wasn’t quite able to send all of them out on their butts. I had sort of a scowl in my heart, and honestly, I questioned God, asking Him why I had to be tested so much; I’d surrendered to my calling in ministry; what more did/does He want? A groan escaped me as tears ran down my face, tears that cried “When will you put my husband back to work?” More tears came trickling down as more questions surfaced unspoken: When would I have to stop simplifying and minimizing in the name of a budget, and when would my needs be met according to His riches in heaven? (Phil. 4:19)

What an emotional tug-of-war that was, aka, a pity party and I was the only party present! Have you ever been present at anyone else’s pity party, or thrown your own? Well, there’s nothing positive about a pity party and the longer we stay there, the more uninvited guests will show up; you know, negative Nellie, desperate Debra, sad Sally…you get the picture.  I blew my nose, wiped my face and gathered my purse and phone, ordering the thoughts to go away.  Truth pushed me out my car door and into the door of the credit union, the truth that at least we have a savings account to take from.  Funny thing was I walked right up to a teller; there was no one in line. I guess God didn’t want to give me any more time in my pity party.  I was in and out of there so fast my head was sort of spinning!

By the time I got home, I had left my pity party, physically and emotionally; I had moved on to the next thing: my last class for the semester! It wasn’t until the next morning in my own Coffee Hour with my Abba that He reminded me of that pity party with Proverbs 23:5 and I can still hear Him in a gentle kind of stern voice ask me: “Will you set your eyes on that which is not?” Oh, His Word can really render me silent and humble! And then I finished reading:”For riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away like an eagle towards heaven.”

Oh, Coffee Hour friend, there is nothing concrete about money and as I continued on with my time with Him, I was reminded that to have an Eternal Retirement Account is so much better than to have an Investment Retirement Account. What are we investing in? Are we diligently and consistently seeking after the things of God, with God and for God? How do we spend our days? Are we too busy worrying how our next bill will get paid, so much so that we miss out on those moments where we just know His fingerprints were left upon us and He provided?

Really what it comes down to is we just need to be about His business because He’s all about ours and He does have our every need in His heart and will meet it. Perhaps we confuse need with want and when we focus on a want, perhaps that want may escort us right into a pity party. Will we walk into that party, or will we turn the other way and seek to find a praise party?

The more I learn, the less I know, but this I do know: HIS WORD NEVER LIES! His promises are checks that will not bounce! You can deposit them…in the depths of your soul that you may withdraw from them whenever you need them.

As you read this, I pray that you will hear Him ask you these questions in such a loving and assuring voice and that you would know that you know that you know that He will never leave you high and dry, never leave you or forsake you and He will never leave you in time of need…as long as He’s invited to the party of your life!

Love,

Evinda

Tuesday’s Trench Lesson

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Welcome to our time together today, friends! Thanks for stopping by.

I have a small handful of friends, and each one is individual and different. What I mean by that is that they each have their own views on life, their own opinions and feelings on what is right and wrong. I believe we are all like this, but I find it interesting that each of my very good friends can be as different as night is day.

That being said, I have also noticed that about half of these night-and-day people agree on something. A large percentage of the people that I respect, admire, and love have a point of view that is totally and completely different than mine. The topic that I am referring to is this: medication. Many people in this world believe that we should not be taking medication, or we should not be giving our children vaccinations. They believe we should be eating everything organic, and non GMO, and just trying to be the best “healthy” that we can be. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that opinion and there is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing that opinion with the world. I think it is wonderful that we live in a country where we can freely discuss these topics, and have a healthy debate.

            I just happen to have a little bit of a different view. I am not against any of those opinions; do not get me wrong. I don't have a problem with non GMO, and organic. I do not eat that way because we honestly do not have the money to do it. I have heard people say, “We will pay a higher price for health in the long run,” but we cannot pull money out of nowhere, so it is what it is! I do not have a strong opinion on vaccinations. My family is up to date on all their shots, but I do not have one negative feeling against anyone who believes that is not what is best for their family. I am not affected if you choose not to give medication to yourself or your family. If that is what your belief is, I am glad to support you in that.

            What is in the best interest of my family is different. We are a medication-taking family. Well, let me clarify that. I do not take any medication, because at this time, there is no need. My 15-year-old son and my 7-year-old daughter do not take medication for the same reason. My husband takes medication for his cholesterol, because a change in diet was not enough to make him healthy. His father passed away due to heart disease, so we want to be proactive with his health care.

            My 17-year-old daughter takes a medication for depression. She was struggling in school, having panic attacks in class, and hurting herself in hopes to control her situation. She has been seeing a therapist. She was then referred to a psychiatrist who suggested a medication. It has helped her beyond my expectations, and without a doubt. I have my daughter back, and she has her life back. It had been months (going on almost a year) since she had offered or even accepted a hug, and now, she is all over them! Hugs go all around now. She can focus on the things she needs to do, and enjoys the things she wants to do.

            My 9-year old son takes medication to help him concentrate. He struggled with school and homework. He was frustrated, said he felt stupid. He felt singled out because he needed extra help with reading and spelling. My sweet, bright baby boy felt less than. We went to the doctor, and he was diagnosed with ADHD. We were given tools to help him with scheduling and things to do to help him with his concentration. It wasn't until he began taking his medication that he was able to concentrate and realize he did understand what was going on in class. He doesn't take the medicine on the weekend, or during the summer. He decides when he needs it to concentrate (school and maybe other events he considers important). He is happy, so I am happy.

            Where this can get tricky is the issue of judgment. I don’t judge others, and I guess my hope is that others won’t judge me. Matthew 7:1-2 says: “Judge not, that you be not judged. ² For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. Judge not, that ye be not judged.”

I remind myself every day that I am not in the position to judge. Whenever we even think of pointing the finger, I pray that we can all remember that there are several fingers pointing back at us. Thanks for letting me share!

Until next week,

I love you. ~Lea

Jenn’s Journey

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Hi! Happy Monday and here’s to a great new week for each of you. Summer is winding down, according to the calendar at least! School has begun and soon we'll be thinking about the holidays! But let's not get ahead of ourselves; let's enjoy today! Thanks for stopping by!

It's the night before 1st grade here in my house. We've bought the uniforms, the school supplies, met the teacher and reunited with old friends. Tomorrow it begins. Somehow, it seems more serious now…the official start of my daughter's school years. There have been many mixed emotions running through my mind, and my heart. On one hand, I am so proud of her and how she is growing, and on the other, I wish it would slow down just a bit!

Emotions: The highs, and lows. They can hit like a freight train. Or they can sneak up before you catch them. I am a very emotional person. In fact, most of my emotions are not of the sneaky persuasion. Until recently, my go-to emotion was anger. It was about three years ago that I realized anger was the only feeling I could put a name to. Luckily, it was about this time that I read an amazing book called "How We Love" by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. It changed my life. This book explains why I am the way I am, but it also explains how to begin healing from old habits. For instance, this book explained how anger is a secondary emotion, and that underneath it are feelings like fear, anxiety and sadness. One of the phrases that stood out to me was “get sad, not mad.”

I am only now learning to put names to the emotions I feel. It took me a long time to discern what feelings lurk under the anger. It has also taken me a long time to understand that it's okay to have feelings; they are not right or wrong. What I do with them and how I express them is what matters. For a lot of my life, I fought and tried to suppress feelings, which does not work by the way. I resembled a simmering volcano, to be quite honest. I often felt I was alone in my feelings and felt like I was floundering in them as well.

God has been doing a good work in me, as He promises He will in Philippians 1:6. He's helped me see how emotions have run my life. I have spent a lot of time “reacting” to life, rather than responding. He has seen fit to send some wonderful people who listen to my emotions, validate them, yet, they encourage growth beyond old habits.

I still have a long way to go but I've learned that naming emotions, and allowing myself to feel them, is a first step. It's a giant step towards managing feelings rather than being managed by them. Colossians 3:15 says "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called." I know He's calling me to His peace. What is He calling you to?

Until next week, be blessed

Croley’s Corner @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach and it will be given to him. “  James 1:5

Wisdom, it comes to us in many forms and we can find it in many ways, such as studying, by watching those who are ardent in their abilities or by living life’s experiences! Grab your coffee and don’t forget your journal I believe there are some great nuggets of wisdom today at Coffee Hour.

What one thing would you ask of God if you knew absolutely that it would not be refused? We find in Proverbs 2:7 that “He stores up sound wisdom for us and is a shield to those who walk uprightly,” so if He stores up wisdom does this mean we can ask for it? I’m certain the answer would be yes!

We read in 1 Kings 3:3 -9 King Solomon loved the Lord as he walked in the statutes of David his father. One night the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream and the Lord said to King Solomon, “Ask! What shall I give you?” Solomon answered, “Give Your servant therefore an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?” And it pleased the Lord.

Can you imagine having this conversation with God? What would our response be when He asked us, “What shall I give you?” how would we answer him? Such a good question to ponder! However, King Solomon never asked for himself selfishly but said to the Lord “give” Your servant an understanding heart. As we can see he was more concerned over God’s people than of himself and here we see the motive of King Solomon’s heart! This was the beginning of wisdom that God gave according to King Solomon’s words!! 1 King 3:11-14.

You see The Lord knew that King Solomon was going to encounter a heart problem in which he had to make a rightful decision regarding two mothers and two babies.  1 Kings 3:16- 19. God always designs to teach us some valuable lessons that can be associated in some ways of our lives. Aren’t you glad He knows our hearts even before we ask? So I ask myself what is the motive of my heart?

We experienced a blowout in our motor home some time ago; we pulled by the roadside and we had to make a decision to repair the tire ourselves or ask for help! We made a wise decision and within a few hours we were back on the road again. Although this wasn’t a life threatening situation, it still required a wise decision on my husband’s part. We were in a precarious place with no tools, no jack and five grandchildren and the worry of what if someone was going to hit us on the freeway!!!

This journey may not be easy but I remind you that He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; He would never leave us stranded. We have a direct line to call on Him for wisdom… when we ask!

My prayer is that you will seek Him for wisdom in every aspect of your lives, if you lack; ask and as you do be ready for Him to give you sweet treasures of wisdom and understanding. 

Till next week, hold Him close to your heart.

Love Deb

Paws for Coffee Hour

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Welcome to Coffee Hour! Grab your coffee, your strand of faith and maybe even your four-legged friend, and come in and enjoy Jennifer’s blog. You never know; you may be able to teach your dog a new trick as well as tie a knot in your strand of faith! I do know you are going to enjoy how she brings this back to our hearts!

My dog Logan has a new trick.  He will stride into my office, nudge me, and then drape his body over mine while I am sitting at my desk.  Occasionally he will give me a little kiss.  When he first did it I thought he just missed me and wanted to cuddle until I discovered an “accident” on the rug.  He has exhibited this behavior a few times, enough for me to understand that this is his way of letting me know that he messed up and is sorry.

I researched, “Can dogs feel regret” and discovered that they can, along with other more complex emotions.  Regret is defined as knowing you have missed an opportunity.  In Logan’s case, he knew he missed the opportunity to do the right thing and wanted to let me know.  He doesn’t carry the weight of his actions around with him after he is forgiven.  As a dog, he is not that complex.  He only feels the guilt of his actions when I point it out to him as I am cleaning His “mistake” up.

One of the definitions of forgiven is to give up all claim on account of.  Isn’t that why the Father sent His son?  We are forgiven.  We can walk through life free of our past mistakes – we can learn to not remind ourselves of them.  We are imperfect; we will veer off course and sometimes make bad decisions.  We can regret the opportunities we have let slip by but let that be fleeting and used to correct our course, not dictate our self-worth.

How many times have we messed up?  Not on the rug, of course, but in our lives.  Sometimes I think that we forget that all we have to do in our relationships, especially with our Father, is to say, “I know I messed up today; I am so sorry.  I know you still love me.”  I guarantee Logan knows this. He is secure in his place in the pack….why can’t we be that secure of our place in our Father’s heart?

Forgiven,

Jennifer & Logan

Embracing Waves of Change

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for joining us for our Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. Oh, my goodness there’s all kinds of changes happening within our ministry; some have been painfully challenging and some have been seemingly easy…but change I know is for our good and His glory. Grab your coffee and your SOF and let’s go talk a bit more about some of the most difficult types of changes.

The third most difficult change is a change in a relationship, such as getting married or a marital separation, or conflict with what was once a good friend or family member. Conflict…hmmm, why do we have to talk about conflict? I hear you asking! Because conflict can bring good change, or bad change, depending upon the way we handle it!

See, conflict is usually because emotions get in the way and cause friction between people. The sad truth is the conflict may have begun over something small but the longer it stays unresolved, the bigger it gets! Often times, conflict sucks the energy right out of us because we conflict over who’s right instead of what’s right!

But let’s, just for a moment, look at the positive side of conflict that we may utilize it to bring positive change in our hearts, our families and our world. Conflict surfaces important problems so they can be addressed. Conflict can also cause us to give careful consideration about important decisions. Conflict can also cause us to reconsider a decision, especially those decisions that were made without thinking or made in the heat of a moment. And finally, conflict provides opportunities for creativity, especially if you are conflicting over truth!

Did you know that there is a win/win solution to conflict? Let me give you the two ways in which both parties can feel a sense of winning in the midst of a conflict and in this way you can both bring about a positive change: Both parties need to recognize that something is wrong without pointing fingers, which requires information gathering before making judgments.  Let me see if I can use this analogy: A treating physician has to do the lab work, assess the medical problem, before coming up with a diagnosis. In other words they don’t just grab some Advil to treat cancer! See, conflict can be like a cancer, poison to the soul and fast-spreading! Stop it in its tracks and take a good look into all sides of it before throwing your hands up and your relationships out! See, not to spiritualize conflict, but listen to what Rom 12:18 says about conflict: If it is possible and to the extent that it depends on you, live at peace with….

The second way to achieve a win/win in the midst of a conflict would be to come together and collaborate ; this forces us to deal with what’s true, not with what’s false, and not that emotions are false, but they certainly are not anything to depend upon, and they most definitely need not be why a relationship is thrown away!

So when conflict threatens to change your relationship(s), remember to strive towards a win/win solution to reach connection so as to not disconnect and bring negative change!

Thanks for joining me for the third toughest change that can truly send us tossing and turning in the sea of life, especially if our well being is a bit too dependent on someone else! Remember, for things to change, I must change and as Mahatma Gandhi says, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world” or in your relationships!

Love,

Evinda

Tuesday’s Trench Lesson

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Grab your favorite beverage and get comfy for a few…you’re going to love this Tuesday’s trench lesson with Lea! 

It Will Be Worth It

            The new school year is starting, and we are getting all our things in order! We are all nervous, excited, and just want it to start. The waiting is murder. It’s no different for our family! As we were driving around getting all of our last minute items, the car decided that it would be the perfect time to stop working! Thankfully we were able to walk home since we were only a few blocks away. I let my husband know what was going on, so we could determine our next move. When he got home from work, he was tired and in a frustrated mood. He says, “When it rains, it pours.” I know he was also thinking that we never see the sun, because it is always raining.

            I want to give you a little background on us, so you can see my husband's perspective. We have been married for ten years, and have had a few mishaps that I feel keep him from seeing the sun and cause him to feel it’s always raining:

Nine years ago, when our son was being born, we had a scare that we would lose him due to a doctor error. Seven years ago, when our daughter was just a baby, my husband was falsely accused of threatening a coworker, and was suspended for a month while they investigated. We were evicted and had to move up the street to a mobile home park. About five years ago, that home burned down in the middle of the night, destroying everything. Anything that might have been salvaged was stolen by looters. A year after that, my husband and I both needed surgeries, and lost time at work for those. We have owned six cars and they have all had constant problems. As soon as one gets up and running, the other breaks down. Our refrigerator broke last week, and we had to get a new one. Now, his car is overheating, and my car won't start. This is what my husband sees.

            What I see is my son as a healthy, relatively happy nine-year-old boy. I see that we were able to get a loan to move into a mobile home park up the street. I see that we all got out of our house fire alive. Yes, we were in PJs. Yes, it was embarrassing to walk into Walmart to buy clothes in skimpy pajamas. But I still see the Red Cross when they gave us a donation to buy new clothes. I see the LDS church giving us all new furniture, clothing, and food once we got another mobile home to live in. I see that we have medical insurance to pay for our surgeries. I see that time and time again, we find a way to fix the cars. We usually have at least one up and running, and the few times we did not, we could always find a ride. I see that my mom loaned us money to get a new fridge. Now I see that my friend is giving me a connection to a mechanic that doesn't charge much for poor folks like us.

            No, I am not always happy and thankful. I get frustrated. I don't understand why we have all these trials; I just know that we will survive them, and learn from them. We are getting stronger. My faith continues to grow. I know that the Lord is always providing for us. My husband has that faith also, but as a man, he needs to provide for the family. Even though we always make it through and get by, we are not “The Haves.” We are “The Have Not’s.” I am okay with that. I have faith, and I know that in the next world, I will be “A Have.” I will be with my Heavenly Father. I will have everything I ever dreamed of, and so much more.

It is so hard to remember that sometimes in the middle of another downpour, but I have to keep reminding myself. I know I am learning and growing here with these trials for a reason, and I believe that God is a loving God, and He will show us his perspective some day.

            This quote is not actually in the scriptures; someone somewhere just said it, but I really like it. I cannot tell you the source of this quote, but I will share it with you anyway. Someone said that the Lord told us this: I never said it would be easy, but it will be worth it! I don't know that He ever said that to anyone, but I can just imagine Him looking at me with love in his heart, and those words on His lips. Thereafter I can promise you friends, it most definitely will be worth it my friends! Until next week, I love you.

Lea

And to Lea, I say thank you so much for your beautiful transparency and I add this P.S. in and from the scriptures (John 16:33) "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." May this truth encourage your heart!

Jenn’s Journey

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy Monday! I am so glad you are stopping by to read my thoughts and perhaps enjoy a cup of coffee and a break from whatever you are doing.

Last week I mentioned I was looking through a basket of old mementos. I've found myself in an end of summer cleaning mode. I go through this several times a year, the urge to purge. No drawer or closet is safe! The garage, oh, the garage…it's definitely time for a sale.

Coincidentally, the sermon at my church happened to be on this very topic. The series for the month of August is on simplifying life. The premise of the talk was that 'stuff complicates our lives. I find that to be true for myself…and I am an organizer at heart. The more stuff I have, the more stressed I feel. I think this is true for a lot of people whether they recognize it or not.

The pastor cited a study that was done on what happens in the brain when we buy something new. The area of the brain called the caudate nucleus, lights up when we buy 'stuff'? Would you believe this is the same area of the brain that lights up when a person feels a deep connection to God? I find this very, very interesting.

How often do we think a shopping trip is just the thing to bring some cheer? The perfect pair of shoes, a purse, a cute shirt, home decor…anything to fill the empty spot for the moment. I know I've done this many times and usually on auto pilot. How long does it take for the excitement and newness to wear off? I watched my daughter rip open birthday presents last week, with frenzied excitement. There was hardly time to see what each thing was before she was on to the next bag. To be fair to her, she has played with many of those new toys, but the newness has definitely worn off... already! So much so that she was begging for a stuffed animal from the store two days later.

I am not suggesting that we never shop, or not give/get birthday presents, or that we should give all we have to the Goodwill. I am however wondering if it's easy to get the 'fix' we need temporarily by filling life with things. Things can never take the place of close relationships, particularly one with God. If our brains are wired to light up when we have a deep connection with Him, why are we letting things take the place of that? This is a question I am asking myself as I prepare to downsize my junk and simplify my life.

In Luke 12:15 Jesus tells us "...life does not consist in an abundance of possessions."  "Stuff" can never fill the space that He can. Hebrews 13:5 says "be content with what you have, for He has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”

May you look up to Him for that contentment when the urge to get more stuff hits you!

Until next week, be blessed,

Jenn

Faith Filled Fridays From Croley’s Corner of Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

I love you, Lord! You answered my prayers. You paid attention to me, and so I will pray to you as long as I live. Psalm 116:1, 2

It’s Friday and I’m so glad you’ve joined me at Coffee Hour. As I look back on this week I marvel at the insight from Jenn Lea and Evinda’s blogs. You certainly know the wisdom of the Lord that pours from their hearts. Such comfort in knowing He communicates through many who care for each one of us in our journey, so it’s not by happenstance you stopped by today. Grab your coffee or tea, and your journal as we begin to search our hearts when it cries out!! 

Not long ago I had a breach in a relationship; hard as it was I knew that I had to rely on God to get me through it. I have never been one that likes confrontations, yet I know they come into our lives for a purpose not only to teach us the ways of Him but also for others who too may be wrestling with certain struggles in their own lives. God works so differently in us all, yet He always wants what’s best for us and what brings Him glory. So often when our hearts are heavy or in pain, we run to friends or family members pouring out our hearts! I too have done the same and I’ve also been told I have broad shoulders to cry on, now and then.

Certainly I have the qualifications to give wise counsel; however, I still only know in part and though the motives of my heart may be right, it’s just not possible to have all the answers and to know all things.

We find in Psalm 139 God’s perfect knowledge of man. Wow, how exciting to know that He is always aware and knows of our existence and situations we face. His word specifically tells us that He looks deep into our hearts and certainly knows the very deepest chambers of our souls! He knows when we’re resting and when we’re working.

Imagine every phase of our lives is like a big screen to Him, He sees it all. I’m so glad He doesn’t change the channel. He understands our thoughts from heaven. When we feel unprotected, His powerful arm hedges us from every side; and even before we speak a word He knows what we will say!  How comforting that should be to us; for no one I know has that kind of knowledge of me, even my husband of 43 years.

In my times of struggle I wanted to reached for my phone to call for wise counsel (Proverbs 11:14) and in that desperate time I truly only needed a word from the Lord. I needed comfort, healing and instruction, rather than from those whose concern for me may have been merely an emotionally answer and sometimes honestly our emotions can get the best of us. Let us not be hasty in our actions and seek for an immediate response.

He is our life line and He truly has our best interest at hand. He gives us answers to our situations when we don’t understand or see what we may be facing. He won’t steer us wrong or give us an answer that engages with our emotions.  During these times we must NOT lean on our understanding or on others....yet we MUST lean on Him until we receive an answer and our hearts are comforted enough to continue to walk in the plans and path He has for us. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Remember He is closer than a friend and He is not only waiting but wanting to hear from you in order to answer your hearts cry.  In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Psalm 18:6

Life has been a bit rocky yet my hope is anchored in Him that He is working everything out for not only my good but for the good of others as well! James 3:17

Have a great week and remember to keep Him close to your heart….love your friends…. More so, love on your family….God entrusted them in your life for a reason...seek out wise counsel but know ultimately He is your wise counsel with great advice!!!

Love,

Deb