Power Friday: Lesson In Progress

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

It’s great to be with you for our Power Friday! I pray you have had a God-inspired week and that you are able to see His sovereignty in your life each and every day! Grab your coffee and come on in for a few minutes. :)

Do you remember in high school towards the end of the year you would get to vote for the most popular kids for various things such as “Most likely to succeed,” or “Prettiest smile,” or for that couple that seemed like they were meant to be together forever? It was all about popular popularity and not really based on reality!

Do you remember your favorite teacher in high school? I do; His name was Mr. Gardner and he was a gentle soul, speaking into the lives of all his students, definitely leaving an imprint on my heart.
Who is my favorite teacher now in the classroom of life? I don’t have one, on this earth anyway, but I have come to learn and understand that God sends us one teacher that is both popular and painful and that’s where this power thought comes from this week.

The most important teacher in the classroom of life is Relationship; the most important class in the classroom of life is Relationships. Am I doing all that I can to get a good grade on my eternal report card?

Pressing for an A . . .
Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: The Walking Dead Revived By Love

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for stopping by Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power for our little break time. I pray you are recognizing His love and grace in your life each day and that when you think of those God stops, you are encouraged in incomprehensible ways that move you closer to His shelter and render you alive in Him. Let’s get back to where we left off.

So did you fill in two names? Oh, how I wish I could convey just how this verse came to life for me that day, and remains alive in me, in my pursuit to love those unlovable, difficult people He has brought into my life. When you and I put ourselves, our circumstance(s) and/or our friends and family in the scriptures we are reading, something powerful happens: His Word comes alive in you, in me, in our lives!

When His Word comes alive in us, we can get through ANYTHING because we know, in our inner being because of experience, that our pain and suffering, our trials and tribulations are but for a moment in comparison to our eternal dwelling place. We can even learn to love those unlovable, difficult people whom He calls “brethren” in this verse.

Some may believe that “brethren” refers to people within the church, especially since we are called brothers and sisters in Christ. But does that make this command – which is repeated over and over by the way – any easier, if we were to limit it to those within the church we attend? I dare say heck no because “Godly” people do ungodly things! In fact, some of the most difficult and unlovable people are within the church, which is right where they need to be that we may be a witness to their transformation process! Don’t we all start out that way? I know I sure did. :)

Grab your shovels and come with me. I want to do some digging on that word, brethren.
Holy smokes! “Brethren” is in the Bible 562 times! No worries, I’m only going to look up the translation for 1st John, who by the way was considered the apostle of love!

Oh, dear . . . oh, my . . . waiting to exhale! :) So in the plural – remember, I heard two names and the verse was plural also – it denotes a community based on identity of origin or life; persons united by common interest – I can’t read anymore! I don’t need to. See, a community based on identity of origin could mean family! A community based on identity of origin could mean church. And people united by common interest could mean friends!

So if I do not love my family, friends, church family, I am like the walking dead! There is no wiggle room here!

I am now completely convinced and will be reviving the re-write to my first series He ever gave me, Learning to Love the Unlovable! That will begin after our March WOW! But join me tomorrow for our Power Friday!

Much love,
Evinda

Coffe Hour @ Chicklit Power: The Walking Dead Returns...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for joining me for Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. I’m excited to get to that verse that quietly screamed into my heart, awakening it to re-visit an ongoing lesson in learning how to love those unlovable and difficult people in my life. Grab your coffee and come on in.

This relational truth reminds me of when I struggled to understand what it meant “to be crucified with Christ.” I remember thinking how in the world . . . I mean, that happened over 2,000 years ago; why would I need to be crucified with Christ?

But, oh, the light of understanding brings a smile to my heart and helps me
to walk by His Spirit and not in my flesh. See, every time I want to do what my flesh is screaming to do, I need to put that desire on the cross to be crucified with Christ, for it is then that I can do all things through Him Who strengthens me and it is then that I die to self. Each time I want to defend myself, demand respect from that unlovable, difficult person, I must put it on the cross and visually see it become crucified with Christ.

Why is it so much more difficult with some people than others? This questions screams at me!

I’m thinking it is because relationship is the most important teacher He left us with in the classroom of life. Relationships can be His gift or we can make them our curse. He knew we would have difficult and unlovable people come in and out of our lives; He planned it that way to teach us our need for a Savior, to help us go from death to life.

Come with me to 1st John 3:14 and let me share with you what happened while reading it. “We know that we have passed from death to life because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death.”

But I didn’t get all the way through that verse. This is what happened when I was reading it: “We know that we have passed from death to life when we love _____ and _______”! He spoke the names of two people I need to get better at loving! I was rendered quietly convicted and walking dead!

Go ahead and fill in the blanks with names of people you need to get better at loving!

Until tomorrow,
Evinda

Coffee @ ChicklitPower: Walking Dead, A New Mini-Series

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

It’s so good to be with you today for our coffee hour, a time where we can put away distractions and demands on us and just hang out and share heart-to-heart. Oh, how I pray that the words you read will refresh your soul and encourage you in the journey of life. Grab your coffee and join me for a new mini-series which will be the precursor to an old series now updated.

I don’t know about you but when I read the words “walking dead” I think of movies, or maybe even an old song, a graveyard, but certainly not scripture. I mean think about it; “walking dead” sounds kind of creepy, doesn’t it? Oh, that’s what is so beautiful about His love letters to us; they change our perspective, our heart’s direction, and our mind’s inclination. They bring life where there is death, literally.

Before I share my find with you, I must be transparent . . . again! For the past several months, there has been a stirring in my heart, a sort of conviction to go back and review a series He gave me when I first started blogging more than three years ago now. But I have ignored it! Have you ever done that? You get this quiet nudge in your heart about something, and you shush it, and it is quiet for a time. Then it whispers again, and maybe you shush it again or maybe not.

Well, I shushed it a few times, subconsciously putting it on the back burner for later, I guess because it just didn’t “feel” urgent enough; that is, until my life began to collide into two people and I was forced to put into practice what He taught me all those years ago. But He didn’t leave me to fend for myself. The day after this “emotional collision” that demanded that I begin to put into action His love for these difficult people was a Sunday while in church, and I happened on this verse on my way to go somewhere else the pastor was leading us.

Let me tell you, when He takes me to a verse that has everything to do with everything I am walking through, my heart will not let me ignore it. It’s as if He took my hand, unbeknownst to me, and guided me to it, and then silently walked away and watched, waiting for my response, thereafter a response to the call.

What was I going through? Well, nothing new, really, just learning how to love a couple of difficult people in my life, which I’ve learned a long time ago, is impossible to do in my own strength. Why is that? I mean, I’ve taught on this very subject from a series He wrote through me! Why in the world would I be struggling in this area, yet again? Didn’t I learn it the first time?

His grace quiets my frustration; His gentle leading to His reminders for dealing with those difficult people renders me speechless with humility. Oh, but I am in desperate need of Him 24/7 and because we walk in this tent of flesh, we will always need reminders and refreshers on this very subject of difficult, unlovable people.

Join me tomorrow for the verse that rendered me walking dead!
Evinda

Monday Manna: Barbershop Trio

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

 Happy Monday Manna once again!

This week I’m writing from a much more comfortable setting- my own home. It’s much slower paced here than the airport terminal and I find that there are fewer distractions here. I am finally caught up on sleep after battling a slight case of insomnia leading up to our trip. Normally the more common causes of sleep deprivation are related to stress or a change in hormonal balances within the body, but mine was due to anxiety for the upcoming song that my father in-law, brother in-law, and I would be singing for our wives on Valentine’s Day weekend. Once a year, during Valentine's Day, we will prepare and perform a song that is comprised of a stolen melody from a popular love song, and we will write our own lyrics. We will then each sing a verse (while sometimes performing an interpretive dance). The verses we write are based upon special memories that we have made throughout the time of our marriage.

Late nights of practicing after work and still trying to get caught up on everything else that needed to get done at home really wore me thin, but it was well worth my wife’s reaction that evening of the performance. On the night of the performance we were all seated at the restaurant, which must have been exceeding maximum occupancy, and we were very anxious since we had no idea that the restaurant would be as crowded as it was. We had at least one hundred and fifty unexpected audience members and as the three of us stood up my father in-law began with his verse as my brother in-law and I harmonized, my brother in-law went next, and lastly it was my turn. As I sang my verse I looked into my wife’s eyes and put up the peripheral blinders, since I knew all 150 sets of eyes were on me as I belted out my part of the song.

When we finished I could see that my wife was holding back tears, praying that it wasn’t from my inability of hitting a few high notes, she pulled me close and whispered to me “I love you Gar and I loved my song.” I was overwhelmed with relief that I hadn’t forgotten any of my lyrics, but I was also overwhelmed with a feeling of gratefulness that God had brought this woman into my life.

I often find myself wondering how I became so fortunate to have Kay as my wife. My wife saved me from a lifestyle that was slowly killing me, both physically and spiritually. Kay often reminds me of how great God’s grace truly is and I will thank Him everyday for this blessing He has given unto me.

I pray that God will continue to be the Chief Cornerstone of our marriage, as well as yours. I’m learning that every marriage, including ours, has its ups and downs but through diligence in continued prayer and reading of the word together EVERY SINGLE DAY, God has rooted a foundation in our home and within our marriage. Let Christ become the Chief Cornerstone in your marriage. We must not let the cares of this world comprise our foundation!

God Bless you!

Garrett Castro

Power Thought for Friday

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy Friday and thanks for joining me today for our Power Friday! Grab your coffee and come on in away from the distractions of life.

Last week I received an unexpected email from my publisher, letting me know it was time to proof the editing of A Cup of Grace. I was shocked because this book wasn’t supposed to have a “conceptual editing” process.

I read through the editor’s first couple pages of notes, which were all about the strengths of the book, and then I went to the following page which had three items that needed work. One of the things was the capitalization of every pronoun that referred to God. The editor had un-capped every single one of them! I was astounded and I am not proud to admit that my claws came out and I saw red – see, this book has a couple thousand of those very pronouns and all I could think about was all the work it would be to go back through and re-cap every single one of them.

After several emails back and forth with the project manager, I was granted permission to put them back in. But it didn’t feel like a victory to me; all I could think about was how much work it was going to be and I had only one week to get it all done, in between writing the curriculum for our next trench class, Transform, being available for CPM, my husband, court-reporting . . .

To say I was overwhelmed is a complete understatement!

But God, in His sovereignty, knew I couldn’t do this alone, and my adopted mom was there to keep me from going off the ledge – we sort of helped each other in that area because she was as exasperated as I was because she had already gone through it and was waiting for the “proofing” stage of the process so we could make our corrections.

But when I finally got over my frustration, and got into A Cup of Grace, my focus began to change, I have to share with you that I am so grateful to have been given that opportunity because not only did we catch some things that the editor didn’t, but my soul was refreshed, encouraged and my anxiety about the curriculum I was still writing was eased as I re-read portions of this book that would now become part of the Transform curriculum.

By re-reading what He wrote through me months ago in A Cup of Grace, I was able to re-focus on what was right and take my focus off of what I thought was wrong! That’s where this power thought comes from:

When our focus is on what’s wrong, we are blinded to what’s right!

Do you need to take your focus off of something you deem is going wrong so you can see all that is right in your world?

Have an awesome weekend.
Evinda

Coffee Hour: Sing A New Song!

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Have you ever been listening to a new worship song and the words and musicality of it just reached out and embraced you, took you in to a place you rarely go? A place where there is no one but you and Jesus and you are singing the words of the song with every ounce of your being because that’s where you are in life? The message in that song renders you in tears, and your heart and soul are entwined with your Creator. Oh, what a feeling, to bask in His presence, to feel as if you could go wherever He may call you.

I heard such a song about a month ago now, and every time I hear it come on the radio; I stop, I mean I emotionally slow down, and often I stop physically whatever it is I am doing so I can meditate on the words, words that are so powerfully relevant in my life, but also in the lives of friends and church family all around me. Tragedy is striking at a pace so swift that it is hard not to get caught up in waves of panic and oppression, tragedies that threaten to suck us in to the rip tide of negativity.
For me, music is a great escape, a way for my heart to stay soft and to communicate with my Father, a way to pour my heart out while pressing in to the only place that brings me perspective and peace: His presence.

For Valentine’s Day, I told my husband that all I wanted was some new worship music, especially a new worship CD with that song by Hillsong United, Oceans. I didn’t know it wasn’t “out” yet on a CD. He didn’t either until he went to the Christian bookstore and told them that’s what he wanted. They told him it’s not on a CD yet; it’s just a single but they’ve recorded several versions of it. The cool thing is that person offered to burn a copy of all the versions to a CD! And that was my Valentine’s Day gift. I’ll always cherish the joy with which he handed me that gift, as well as two other worship CDs and a book by my favorite author, Karen Kingsbury. It was such sweet thoughtfulness that will always squeeze my heart when I take the time to reflect upon it.

Little did I know how much I would need to press in the very next day, and
again and again; I’m getting hit hard. So I pressed in, and I listened to that song, sang it from my gut, the waves of trials of ours as well as those being endured by friends evident in every note I sang. At first, I was groaning from the pain of it all, but if you’ve ever heard this song, you can’t stay that way for long, because the chorus repeats itself, over and over again, and soon, I was confidently calling out His name, declaring that I would keep my eyes above the waves of trials, this new trial, and the one that came after that; that I will allow "His Spirit to lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever He may call me; that He could take my feet deeper than I could ever wander but my faith would be                  Oceans
made stronger in the presence of my Savior."

Just three days later, He really did call me out into more deep waters, waters of forgiveness for someone who had broken my gift of trust, and it was so unexpected. With ever-so-wobbly legs, I rise, but just to a crawl for the pain is that bad. But as the words of this song begin to penetrate my heart, I stand just a bit taller, ready to hold His hand that He may hold me up with my wobbly legs and enter those waters filled with uncertainty for me, uncertainty because I don’t know how to love that person as though I’ve never been hurt. Oh, I forgive but how do I love without hurting.

My heart sings these words that I may live these words:

"You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown; my feet may fail. And there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep my faith will stand. And I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace for I am Yours; You are mine."

And my soul is reminded I am not alone:

"Your grace abounds in deepest waters. Your sovereign hand will be my guide. My feet may fail when fear surrounds me; you’ve never failed and you won’t stop now. So I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace for I am Yours, and You are mine." [Oh, Abba, I am yours. Thank You that You never leave me; You’re always there to love me through my hurt.]

And the cry of my heart becomes:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders; let me walk upon the waters wherever you may call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.

And again:

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders; let me walk upon the waters wherever you may call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior."

And again, and again, until I can see me walking on the water, my focus only on the One who will get me through it all.

You can’t stay in the same place when you are pressing in, and oh, what a better place it is when you come out! May I encourage you to press in . . . You can start now by clicking on this link, go where your feet have not wandered, and press in. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw&feature=kp

Walking on the waters of life with Him,
Evinda

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...A Taste of "A Cup of Grace For the Day"

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for joining me today for a coffee break! For those of you wondering where Nana Holds is, it is once again on hold until He releases me to write more, and that is for reasons I am unable to explain at this time. I don’t want you to quit coming to our coffee hours because I truly enjoy sharing from my heart to yours. Grab your coffee and come on in.

So for the last several days my mom and I have been working incredibly hard on the conceptual editing of A Cup of Grace for the Day. Wow, I am truly excited for this “Cup” to come out. It is truly filled with a “pouring out,” if you will.

And the first page starts with the foreword! And that wasn’t written by me, but by one of CPM’s board members, aka, my former therapist, now friend and Blog Talk Radio co-host, Steve. So I thought I’d share it with you to give you a little peek inside of A Cup of Grace for the Day. I hope it speaks right to your heart!

                                                                       The Cover!!!!

Foreword

"As I read Evinda’s latest offering of her continued healing experiences with God and understanding how He operates and the broken history she brings, it was evident that she not only understands God’s way better but His work in her. Nothing of itself has a life of its own. What does that mean? Well, two people looking at the same piece of art can see two completely different things. One says, “That’s a nice painting.” The other is overcome by what they see in the painting. After the concert, one says, “That was some pretty cool music.” Another is overwhelmed by all the sounds and how the instrumentation went from simple woodwinds, the powerful use of the brass, and how the strings came in and tied it all together! But it’s the same painting, same composition.

"We bring to our walk with God equally, a set of eyes, ears, and heart. How does God help us to see and hear and feel Him more clearly, more deeply? For many of us, our life’s experiences cause a great deal of blindness and deafness to our own hearts and the heart of God. We become His child, and for years, we struggle to understand what He’s trying to say to us with His still, small voice. The noise and pain of our history block out His voice because we don’t know how to feel worthy of His words and His heart toward us. Evinda writes this book and chooses her examples and sees the story of the people she has chosen—Noah, Moses, David, and others—through the eyes God has been healing: the life, God’s life, which she presents through these characters and now relates to His work in their lives. She sees his moving more clearly because of the healing in her own life.

It’s funny how we have read the same passage of scripture many times, and all of a sudden, something deep and moving comes out of that passage. That’s grace. One definition she uses in this work is, “Goodwill of God toward us; good work of God in us.” Our part is the willingness to risk trusting our Heavenly Father to reveal Himself to us as He did to those who came before. Evinda wants all those who read this work to be convinced that all of us can be healed and used and valued as those we read about in His word.

In the book of Daniel, Nebuchadnessar, the king of Babylon, had a dream. It was disturbing to him and confusing. He ordered that his dream be made known and interpreted without revealing any part of the dream. If it did not happen, he would have all of his magicians, conjurers, and sorcerers killed. They told him, “There is not a man on earth who could declare the matter.” As time passed, the mandate applied to all wise men. This would include Daniel and his three friends. God revealed the dream to Daniel and the interpretation. Before revealing all of this to the king, Daniel wants to make something very clear to Nebuchadnessar: “This mystery has not been revealed to me for any wisdom residing in me more than in any other living man, but for the purpose of making the interpretation known to the king, and that you may understand the thoughts of your mind.” God chooses the foolish to confound the wise. This is grace. All of Him; none of me. This work, A Cup of Grace, is a tool to assist you as He has Evinda to experience His life in you…by His grace.

Steve Atkinson
Counselor"

So, what did you think? Oh, I can't wait for you to hold this book in your hands! It's scheduled for release in April!

Join me tomorrow for our coffee hour . . .
Evinda

Nana Holds: The End (for now)

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Ah, it’s great to be with you today, to take a break from it all and return to this place where I can share the beginning of the end of this season of Nana Holds. Grab your coffee and come on in and get a front-row seat at the tug-of-wars that began not long after John came home.

Did I mention that before John came home, he did announce that Jenel was “the one”? Is it any wonder they wanted to begin to mold into that family unit? Their desire to become a family, though not yet married, pulled on our heartstrings, as well as our common sense. As parents, and as Johnny’s guardian, we needed to see consistency, stability and that can only happen in time and not just for our sake’s but, more so, for Johnny’s.

Sure, we believed that John believed that Jenel was the one he wanted to spend his life with. There was nothing we could really do about this emotional connection that had formed under the pain of his circumstances. His circumstances were not the best of circumstances for a serious relationship to begin and there were things that we knew about –things that they didn’t know we knew about -- that made it critical for them to take more time to get to know one another in order to confirm some things that were uncertain and hazy at best.

As I look back on those first tugs in this tug-of-war that would change everyone’s world, I wish I had tugged more non-emotionally, with less pride, and with a Christ-like meekness that would have helped them to let go of the rope because of understanding, not necessarily agreement. But they were blinded by their need to be together and I was so taken aback by the unexpected tugs, I lost my emotional balance for a while. How could this be happening? Why is this happening? Why couldn’t they see there were still so many loose ends that needed tying, so to speak, messes to clean up, chapters to close so they could start fresh . . .

But they were blinded by their need to be together, and hence the pulls continued.

I am getting the red light on this series, which means I have to put it down for a while but before I do, let me explain, for the benefit of those involved as well as any other reader who may be offended by what I’m writing: My heart’s desire is not to point out anybody else’s stuff, but to stay in my lane, work on my stuff transparently and to respond to life with the tools He has given me, to hopefully speak into the lives of those who have had to parent their children’s children and encourage them in what is often a difficult journey. So please don’t stop coming to coffee hour because I know one day He will give me permission to pick it up again and finish writing this true life story!

Evinda

Nana holds . . . in her heart

Monday Manna!

Happy Monday Manna!

It’s Friday the 14th, Valentines Day, and I left work extremely early today so that I could make it to the airport with hours to spare for my writing this week. Little did I know that there would be an additional two-hour delay! I’ve never had the privilege of enjoying the peace and quiet that sitting in an airport can provide. I’ve always been too busy at these places to take time to pray and talk to God. It is incredible how in the most desolate of places, God speaks to our hearts. Maybe it’s because I’m free from distractions of the world, or maybe it’s because I am now taking the time to listen?

This week has been a battle for me. I am a workaholic (I never thought I would say it!). God has gifted me with the capacity to work hard, just as He has for each one of you. But work often takes priority in my life and, in the process I inadvertently push away those who mean to the most to me - The Lord and my wife. I do it to myself. As I write this I’m reminded of the Israelites’ ultimate defiance in worshipping the heathen gods of their enemies- the Canaanites. The gods that we serve may not always be made of silver and gold…

The earthly gods of this world can take on the form of a bottle, drug addiction, a sought after career goal, monetary gain, or any other driving force that inhibits our growing relationship with Christ. The god I was serving was a god who convinced me that success in my career would make me a better man. Many men have this same perspective, since it’s our duty to provide for our household. But it wasn’t until recently that I realized God’s love for me is so immense, just as it is for each one of you, that he will sustain me and provide for EVERY need!

Through consistent prayer, I’m working on creating a healthy balance. My boss, who has been one of the most positive influences in my life and my amazing wife Kay, continue to fill me with encouragement. God knows I’m stubborn, but I continue to pray that God keeps my focus on Him.
As believers we are battling daily with the flesh, but as we grow in our own faith, God will continue to work through and among us. The gods of this world have no authority over us! May God grant each and every one of you with the ability to put away any distractions, or earthly gods that may cause a distanced fellowship with him.

In His Love,
Garrett Castro

Power Friday: A Power Thought for Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine’s Day, and thanks so much for joining me today for our Power Friday! Grab your coffee and come on in.

First, let me say to my single friends, Happy Valentine’s Day to you, most importantly. I pray that you will do something that embraces your SOS (season of singleness) and not resent this day that society says is for couples. It’s a day to celebrate love and friendship, so grab a few friends and determine to go have some heart-felt fun!

This Power thought is really to encourage you, but it also speaks to those already committed in relationships:

There is no such thing as a perfect person, but there is a person perfect for you!

See, for those of you waiting for that person, God hasn’t completed some things in the one He has for you, and He may be trying to do a work in you as well. For those of you in marriage, you know by now that the one you’re with isn’t perfect, but God says, in the covenant of marriage, that that person is who HE will use to accomplish His work in you so He may work through you!
                                                                                                                                     Jesus love U 2
                                                                                                                                           pieces!
 Oh that we would allow others to not be perfect, loving them for the gift that they are to us and what they bring to our lives!

Have a loving day!
Evinda

Nana Holds: The First Lesson

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thank you for taking a coffee break in your day and joining me for more of Nana Holds. I think we left off with my first lesson, the first big drop and dip in the ride of this life since John’s homecoming. Grab your coffee and come on in.

While life was picking up speed for me, meaning the framework was being established and formed for the ministry of CPM which required much of my time, there were warning bells that were clanging for boundaries to be set in our home so we all could enjoy living together, except John was “living” less and less with us and more and more with Jenel and her family. They were becoming inseparable and moving toward their future. This journal entry explains it in the moment:

“I started feeling very anxious yesterday. I guess that’s because I thought it would be different. Why am I so bothered and why do I think it’s inconsiderate for him not to call and say he’s not coming home?”

It was like I was having this conversation with myself because in the sentence following that entry, I say: “But it’s not him being discourteous, rather an ignorance of not knowing how to show courtesy, and I am guilty of ignorance in other areas of my life. Search my heart, oh, God, and see if there be anything in there displeasing to you. Thank you for helping me to be honest, for revealing this. I confess, Lord, I wanted a chance to have a real relationship with him, for our ‘blended’ family to truly blend before he began a new family of his own.”

I expressed my frustration, which was really a need, to George, but his inability became that wall, once again, that would have to be taken down, bit by bit, and at his pace, not my own.
In the meantime, I was on one side of the wall wrestling with my need to explain myself and my “loud” attitude, which was greater than my ability to be quiet, to not make things bigger than they actually were which meant I couldn’t be driven around by my emotions.

He was on his side of the wall learning how to speak up to his son and voice his needs driven by his concerns that he was not quite able to share with me . . . yet.

While a portion of the responsibilities pertaining to little Johnny were taken over by John and Jenel, his home was still with us and that was for several reasons, all of them for the well-being of Johnny, with the intent to provide him stability that would go a long way in his development and relationships to come.

But John and Jenel were eager to “be a family,” to practice that before marriage and they began to resist and insist in ways that became extremely uncomfortable. I understood but wrestled with their inability to grasp the truth that comes from experiencing the lessons in life, so a sort of silent tug-of-war began.

Join me next week for more of the end of the season of Nana Holds!

Learning the lessons,
Evinda

Nana holds . . . in her heart

Nana Holds...The Homecoming

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for joining me for a coffee break and more of this true life-changing season that is drawing to an end, but leading into a new beginning. Grab your coffee and join me.

We didn’t really settle into our new reality right away. As I look in my journal, my entries remind me of that time of rejoicing. Apparently I was experiencing more peace and joy than I remember, at least according to this entry on Monday, Memorial Day:

“Wow, what a full day we had yesterday. Father thank you for the joy you fill my heart with, your sovereignty blows me away. You are bringing me to a place I’ve never been. Thank you! Oh, if I could just stay behind the veil and worship, stay right here with you.”

That was evidence of growth, but why and in what way? Well, George and I had not established any sort of rules to live by for John, things we expected of him and from him as a member of our household. I do remember the anxiety I had over this issue, the fear that was threatening to take the steering wheel and drive my emotional car . . . right off a cliff!

Instead, I was learning to rest in Him, and not expect things from my husband that he just wasn’t capable of giving at this time in his journey.

With John’s homecoming came a freedom to participate in a role that God had prepared for me two and a half years prior, but one that I was unable to embrace for several reasons: the main reason was HE still had a great work to do in me before He chose to work through me in this role.

This season of Nana Holds was one of His most sovereign, awe-inspiring, painful but necessary surgeries He’s ever performed on and in my heart to prepare me to embrace the role of President of CPM, a “title” He gave me three years ago but one which I did not embrace with all of its responsibilities until shortly after John’s homecoming.

But then again, I was unable to embrace it because of the things that needed to be peeled back, revealed and healed, and thereafter, what/whom I wanted to embrace was this amazing little boy whom God had used and continues to use to squeeze lots of junk out of my heart and fill it with a love I had never experienced.

I am amazed how the season of Nana Holds and the new one following merged into one to make my present flow with new life, new love, new lessons, lessons that began just one week after his homecoming.

Join me tomorrow for more of this journey,
Evinda

Nana Holds

Nana Holds Continues...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Welcome back to more of the beginning of the end of this season and series, Nana Holds. Grab your coffee and join me where we left off, meeting George, John and Jenel for lunch after his unexpected release from his “new job.”

JoAnne and I walked into the restaurant and were greeted by the host. “How many?”
I explained that we were meeting three others and a flash of recognition danced across his face as he smiled. “Follow me. They’re outside.”

When we arrived at their table, George stood up to greet me. I hugged him to me and gave him a quick kiss and by that time, John was standing and I embraced him. “Welcome home, Sonny,” a nickname his dad always uses.

“Thank you.”

I re-introduced JoAnne to Jenel; they had met at our last event, and then introduced her to John, who was seated next to her, and Jenel was on his other side. After getting our drink orders, John and JoAnne began talking, so with my right ear I was listening to my husband – don’t let him know that! :) --- and with the other ear, I was listening to JoAnne draw John into a conversation about the difficulties of the recovery process, the program and other things related to the process. I was amazed at how she was able to not just talk with him, because she’s a great conversationalist, but draw him into the conversation with his thoughts and opinions. That was so encouraging.

See, she was in the beginning stages of what we had already walked through: an adult child self-destructing, but her adult child was still in that self-destructing process and not quite ready to admit she had a problem, let alone stop the behavior.

Before our food came, George’s phone rang; it was his boss, who used to be John’s boss, wanting to talk with John. Their conversation was very short, but John told us after he hung up that they were welcoming him home, and if he was ready, they invited him back to work as early as the following night. Since it was the Memorial Day weekend, John asked if he could start on Tuesday so as to get settled and back in the swing of things. He was jumping right back in the saddle, so to speak, and it was absolutely amazing that God had extended him such favor once again! Just hours out and he already had a job, a promising relationship and things were really looking good for him and little Johnny.

That first meal was more of a celebration than I thought it would be. I was amazed at the touch of grace that had been painted on the fresh canvas for his new beginning. That same grace helped me to stay out of my head and put myself in John’s shoes, thinking of the relief he surely must have felt to finally have this behind him, ready to embrace new beginnings.

Another person who was incredibly happy was/is George. For the most part, I was truly, down to my toes, happy for him, his re-ignited happiness and joyful nature that attracted me to him all those years ago spilling out and touching us all, pulling laughter from each one of us.

I had to really work at it to not let the past interfere with my present, to stay in the moments of celebration. I didn’t want my fears to rain on John’s victory, and I didn’t want my selfishness to take away his relief at the freedom that was granted to him to come home and be his son’s daddy. It was just all happening so fast, and when lunch was done, and John and Jenel stood and announced they were going to go and pick up little Johnny from school, reality hit, like a sucker punch. But of course they wanted to be the ones to go and get him.

Oh, how excited he was going to be when he looked up and saw his daddy’s face, right there at his big boy’s school. I can just see his sweet face break out in the hugest of joyful smiles, his eyes getting bigger and brighter as John told him the words his heart didn’t even know he wanted to hear: “Daddy’s home!”

Join me tomorrow for more of the beginning of the end!
Evinda

Nana holds . . . in her heart

Manna Monday is back!

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Dear friends of CPM,

I am extremely grateful for the comments you all left on the last blog. I’m blessed that Kim (Evinda) has given me the opportunity to write on another topic that is extremely near and dear to my heart- my brother’s ultimate surrender. Let’s pick up from where we left off last week!

It wasn’t just me who became very disconnected by my father’s death; my brother also became very disconnected and through the use of different coping mechanisms, his dependency upon the Lord seemed non-existent. That is until recently. But I never really gave it the thought it deserved until a very special weekend in the not so distant past. We both were given an opportunity to attend a men’s conference and Raul Ries was the guest speaker who elaborated on the topic of repentance. It was incredible to be sitting next to my brother who, like myself, hadn’t attended church due to spiritual disconnect from a living a life of carnality. As we worshipped, my brother bowed his head and began to pray- something that I have not seen since before the passing of my father. It was evident that God had moved him in such a way, as to welcome back his prodigal son.

I have never prayed harder for anyone, besides my father who was ill, than I have for my brother. And God has remained faithful to my prayers. I was searching for an immediate solution but little did I know that God would use me, the ultimate mess-up, to bring my brother back to the Lord.

During the break-time at the conference my brother and I began discussing how we might be able to share the word of God with young men who have been going through difficult times in their lives. God put something amazing on his heart…but I promised I would not share until we have          prayed about it, but I’m extremely excited to see what the future holds!          my brother @ my mom!
This will be something to blog about in the future.

But in the meantime, let me just fervently encourage you that consistency in prayer builds faithfulness in God’s ability to work in our lives. God’s in the business of transforming hearts! Have a blessed week guys and thank you for all of your support!

Warmest Regards,
Garrett Castro

Power Friday!!

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for joining me for Power Friday @ Chicklit Power. Grab your coffee and come on in for a quick break.

This power thought came to me just recently while preparing for our third session of How to Love Who You Love, our Relationship Trench Class. We are learning so much in this class and my heart just wants to sing at all the revelations and breakthroughs the class is experiencing, both individually and as a group.

This past week the subject of respect came up, and a couple struggling with their three and five-year-old admitted to really struggling with this issue. Well, this really pulled a good majority of the class in while the ones who had already raised their child or children looked on, and before you knew it, we had been talking for 45 minutes.

See, many of us experienced either one of two philosophies about respect: It was either demanded from our parents, or crammed down our throat that it is something earned. Well, both of those reek with pride and what’s in the middle of “pride”? Yes, I!

You should have seen everyone’s expression when I humbly said it is neither! Do you know you can totally respect someone who is disrespecting you, and do it in the moment?

How?

I’m glad you asked! There are a few ways, but one of the most effective is by informing the one disrespecting you that you care too much for them to participate in that conversation, and then walk away!

The questions came at me like arrows to a dart board aiming for a bulls-eye and they all had to do with children behaving disrespectfully and that’s where this power thought comes from.

If you want your children to understand respect,

live it, be it so they see it.

Children, for a short period of time, are your little mirrors, repeating nearly every move you make, your body language, your attitude, your words. If you are fighting in front of them, then you can rest assured when it comes time to discipline them for something, they will fight with you. Children learn to love how they see you love as well as from how you love them!

Be the example of respect for your kids . . . they are our next generation of preachers, teachers, workers, doctors, scientists, inventors, encouragers, artists, engineers, and the next addition to the Bride of Christ.

Respectfully,
Evinda

February WOW: Part 3

The Internal Tug-of-War

“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh and these are contrary to one another so that you do not do the things that you wish.” Galatians 5:6-7

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Oh, it’s great to have Coffee Hour with you today and share from my heart to yours. I pray that the tug-of-wars we witness today will resonate in your mind, body and souls and help you let go of the rope and allow His Spirit to pull you into victory! Grab your coffee and join me in the front row of some tug-of-wars.

I just had a thought: tug-of-wars are inevitable, but they are also avoidable. In order for there to be a tug-of-war, there has to be a volunteer!

Let me introduce you to the participants in this tug-of-war and I hope you can try to get a mental picture: You, or I, and our flesh/desires, tangled with our emotions which have buried our spirits, are on one side of the rope; and The Spirit is on the other end of the rope. The participants are always the same, namely the flesh, and The Spirit, but the tug-of-wars, or the battles, may vary.

Look around. I don’t know about you, but I can see family members, friends and co-workers in all sorts of tug-of-wars, all different in intensity, all the same battle: flesh versus Spirit. Some of the ropes are super thick, and some, not so thick. You would think that the longer the tug-of-war goes on, the thinner the rope. Not so! The longer we feed our flesh, the more it cries out for more! It’s a never-ending, never completely fulfilled being and the more you feed it, the more it takes!

The flesh and the emotions tend to fight and pull on the rope using the same methods: longings and lies, taunting the spirit that is buried with words that threaten the self-esteem, poke at the delusion of control and all in search of acceptance and perfection. And they do it so loudly so as to drown out the voice of The Spirit on the other side of that rope in the tug-of-war.

To the right there are the tug-of-wars with addictions, all kinds of addictions to things that feed the flesh but have also ensnared the emotions, convincing one that the need is greater than the ability to let go. Wow, there’s the rope of food, alcohol, prescription drugs, illegal drugs, pornography, power, money . . . the ropes go on, threatening to pull us in at any moment.

How can we avoid that tug-of-war? Well, I must say that everyone has participated in a tug-of-war, voluntarily or involuntarily. But how can we stop picking up that rope, feeding the flesh? We must heed the call of deep crying out to deep. His Spirit beckons our spirit to join forces and win the battle over flesh.

Oh how thankful I am for the promises that remind us this tent we live in is temporary: For we know that when this tent we live in - our body here on earth - is torn down, God will have a house in heaven for us to live in, a home He Himself has made, which will last forever. (1st Corinthians 5:1 Good News Translation)

What if we were to treat the cravings of our flesh as a labor pain where we know they are going to continue to strike but we breathe and pray through them, not even picking up the rope to participate in a tug-of-war?

I would venture to say that then, you are walking with The Spirit and your journey has just become easier! But when you do find yourself in a tug-of-war, remember that deep cries out to deep; His Spirit will empower you to let go and join forces.

Entwine my spirit with Yours, Abba Daddy!

Evinda