Nana Holds From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Happy New Years’ Eve day! Thanks for taking the time to join me today for a little break. Grab your coffee and come on in for more of those significant moments in this journey with a very special little boy!

So life was settling into some sort of “normal” routine and the realizations that come with this huge responsibility were also taking root in our lives. We were learning the importance of follow-through with this little guy, which you cannot really put an amount on, because it depends on the situation. We weren’t trying to exasperate this little guy, though at times he did exasperate us! The truth is we both have learned from our original parenting experiences and both of us know too much now to parent blindly and not follow through with directions and/or some sort of discipline and/or consequence for bad behavior.

Time out became our weapon of choice and as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, time out happened less and less. Don’t get me wrong; we weren’t any kind of drill sergeants, and I can hear you saying, “poor little guy has had it so rough.” You are right; he has but we know that we know that we know that to discipline him was/is to love him. The key was doing it without anger! To let him run amuck was not going to be doing him any favors in his

future, nor anyone else for that matter. Besides, we get to see the result of his mom and her parents not parenting him every time he comes home from a visit with them. And I don’t say that to be disrespectful; that’s what they know, or I should say all they know, but George and I have received more tools and we are accountable for what we have learned.

Every time he came home from a visit with them, we noticed a couple of things right away: He was very, very aggressive and often mean and his listening skills had diminished somewhat. All of that would require an attitude adjustment. At first it took a couple of days for the adjustment, and that was with me, George and Suzanne doing the adjusting. (We’ve actually got that adjusting period down to about thirty minutes!) My new prayer became: “Give me the mind of a two-and-a-half-year-old.” And it worked! God heard my cry and that’s exactly what began to happen. We were able to parent/discipline him with patience wrapped up with love.

Yes, while Bryce is working at his new job, God is working in this house through this little boy, separating what is bad from what is good and leaving us more complete, more Christ-like!
Have a safe and memorable New Years’ Eve and be sure and come back tomorrow for my New Years’ wish for you! We’ll pick up with Nana Holds next week because we have our first W0W (Weapons of Warfare and Words of Wisdom) of 2013 on Wednesday!

Blessings to you,

Evinda

Power Friday-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me for Power Friday! Grab your coffee and come on in.

I was refreshing my memory with some things about co-dependency in my Co-dependency for Dummies book and I saw something that has answered a question I’ve kept in my heart since we started our Blog Talk Radio series on this very viral infection that is running rampant in our society.

The question that lay buried was about the very definition of co-dependency and how it relates to my/our relationship with Christ. My question or thought has been, Can’t I just transfer my co-dependent tendencies to Christ and if so, then it’s okay to be co-dependent on Him, right?

Finally, I have my answer so today’s power thought will hopefully give you some new insight as well. I found my answer in the definition for this viral infection which states: “Co-dependents are by definition ‘dependent’ on something or someone outside of themselves”!

Bingo; there’s the answer in that one little word, outside! See, when we accept Christ as our Savior, He comes into our heart and begins our breaking free process so therefore, He is not someone or something outside of ourselves; however, emotionally and spiritually speaking, it’s absolutely necessary to be dependent on Him for our well-being!

Hope that was clearer than mud!

Have an awesome weekend. It’s the last one of the year!

Evinda

Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks so much for joining me today for a little break. I earnestly hope you enjoyed your CHRISTmas and that you made memories to cherish for years to come. Grab your coffee and come on in.

Something I didn’t mention up until now is the internal struggle I was having about giving up my weekends with my hubby. I mean, I was doing it, but there was definitely a struggle. My social world suddenly shrunk and it was like we were somewhat isolated and while I enjoy isolation I also like to nurture my/our friendships. Marriages are life-sized mirrors and friendships are like mini mirrors that reflect both the good and the not-so-good in us. Anyway, after several weeks of receiving a few invitations to do things and having to decline – I was actually able to laugh a bit about it when I heard myself say “We have to get a babysitter” – we received yet another one from a girlfriend and friend of CPM and she invited us to attend a car show with her and her husband and then back to their house for dinner.

Well, my hubby loves car shows but my first reaction was to decline, yet again. I reminded her and me that we had Bryden now and I was about to enter into my own pity party when her words pulled me out: “Well, bring him. We’ll find something for him to do.”

So that’s what we did and I’ll always treasure her insistence that we get together and her persistence in seeing it through.

We had an amazing time and Bryden was definitely the center of attention and no one seemed to mind! He was absolutely adorable, engaging and endearing.

My two girlfriends and I were outside in Teresa’s little haven she created all within an EZ Up. It was/is so tastefully done with a comfy couch, a couple of chairs, a coffee table, some potted plants and flowers everywhere, soft lighting, and for the background sound effects, she had a garden-sized water fall sculpture. It’s a great place to sit and read, or talk as was our case.

So there we were, in the midst of a passionate conversation about something and here comes

this little man in a toddler’s body with his hand outstretched and wearing an incredible sense of pride as he handed over what had to be the largest rose I’d seen in a long, long, long time! And talk about leaving me speechless! Why in the world and how in the world could he do something so sweet for me? It was something too hard to fathom, though I reveled in the beauty of it for some time that evening, in between the giggles and fits of laughter inspired by Bryden.

Both couples seemed to truly be enjoying him and didn’t act annoyed in the least that we didn’t get a babysitter for him and brought him along. It was an awesome time that evening and for the first time in weeks, I remember thinking, maybe there’s life after all with a two-and-a-half-year-old!

Have an amazing day…

Evinda

Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Happy day after Christmas! I don’t know about you, but this day after Christmas, all I want to do is cuddle up on the couch and watch movies all day! After we have our little coffee break, of course! Thanks for stopping by! Grab your coffee and come on in.

So just a few weeks after Bryden’s daddy’s “promotion,” he called us to share with us that he was getting baptized and that we could come if we wanted to. They were conducting the baptisms at a beach almost two hours away. (For the life of me, I can’t remember the name of the beach!%^&*()_) )

I smiled from the inside out as reality permeated from my mind to my soul. The transformation was continuing and this public confession was going to be like none I had ever seen before. A baptism in the ocean!

Bryce Baptized!

Bryden was visiting his grandparents on his mother’s side so we didn’t have him with us that weekend, which is probably a good thing because I don’t know that he would have been able to handle his daddy going way out there with the crashing waves and then being pushed down under! Oh, but we did, with joy and thankful hearts. The four and a half hour drive for that one hour was definitely worth it. It’s what parents do; it’s what the Bride of Christ does, comes alongside and cheers, supports and encourages steps that bring one closer to Christ Himself.

The next couple of weeks held some more poignant moments that worked like softener on my heart which unbeknownst to me was a bit hard when it comes to loving and being loved uninhibitedly. Bryden was enjoying going to church and being with others close to his age. An added bonus was Donald and Suzanne began going to our church so he got to be with his little playmates on Sunday mornings, too. These things all added up to give him a sense of “normal.” The seeds of the things of God began to plant in his little heart as well and we continued to water them with nighttime prayers which he began to repeat almost word for word after only a few weeks. Sweet little sponge!

Flowers from Bryden

Sundays after church we would go out to breakfast down the street. Boy does that little guy love pancakes, especially with lots of syrup! But one Sunday, on our way back to the truck, Bryden suddenly became preoccupied with something. I turned to see Papa stopped, watching him as he bent over and yanked with all of his might a little clump of flowers. I almost told him not to pick the pretty flowers, and then I remembered the one time he and his dad had come in from playing. Bryden had a flower and he, ever so sweetly, walked toward me with his hand outstretched holding his flower with pride and said, “Here Nana,” while his dad looked on with a rare smile.

History has a way of repeating itself, and that’s not always a bad thing, because Bryden, when he had conquered the desire of his heart, walked over to me ever so sweetly, innocently and joyfully and with his hand outstretched and a smile on his adorable little face  hesaid, “Here, Nana!” I bent down to hug him and exclaim how beautiful the flowers were, that Nana had never seen anything more beautiful! Again, I felt something in my heart move, almost like fingers molding clay . . .

Join me tomorrow for more!

Joyfully,

Evinda

Beyond Christmas – From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Merry, Merry Christmas to you and all your family and those you hold dear. I just have one thought to share with you today, the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, our Savior. Grab your coffee and come on in.

I was sharing with a close friend and fellow board member of CPM the other day about some things that may be transpiring with the ministry and out of my mouth this flowed so I thought I’d share it with you. I hope it tugs on your heart and helps to refresh your faith as it has mine.

You may not see what He’s doing or how He’s working in your life, you may even be wondering if He hears you. If so, this truth is for you:

He’s up there wrapping presents that you and I can’t see!

Have yourself a beautiful Christmas and may His presence in your life be your best present ever!

Evinda

My Christmas Wish for You – From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Happy Christmas Eve to you and thanks for joining me for our coffee break today! I hope you enjoy my Christmas card made just for you! Grab your coffee and come on in and ponder these words. I pray they resonate in your heart and help you with perspective in the Christmases to come.

It is not about the presents under the Christmas tree, but the presence of love we feel from friends and family
It’s not about the shopping that we feel we must do, but about the gift that has been given freely to me and you
The gift is a gift that money can’t buy; the birth and death of Christ was for you and I
It’s not about making a list and checking it twice and buying countless gifts for the naughty or the nice
The reason for the season isn’t about all the debt and stress, but a season to offer special gifts such as forgiveness
Or maybe a gift of time for one whose time is running out, a meal for a family  to encourage hope where there is doubt
Maybe someone needs a helping hand to accomplish a chore; yes, these are the kinds of gifts that give on forever more
Oh, if we would take the materialism out of this season and in its place remember redemption is our reason
These gifts come freely to and from those walking in His Spirit; they outlive materialism though the world doesn’t hear it
The gifts of Love, joy, peace, patience don’t ever need a reason;
nor does kindness, gentleness or self-control have to have a season!

May the gifts of the season guide you to and through the new year!

   

Merry Christmas
Evinda
                       

Power Friday From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me today for Power Friday at Chicklit Power. Can you believe it; it’s almost Christmas and within days, another year will be gone, the memories of it remaining in my heart! Whew, grab your coffee and come on in.

Today’s power thought is still in the same vein of breaking free from co-dependency and I pray it resonates in your mind and travels down into your soul to root and thereafter blossom in your life as it is beginning to in mine!

A true sign of breaking free from co-dependency is when we no longer use someone else’s perceived mistake as a permission slip to repay, get even or teach them a lesson!

Have an emotionally, spiritually and physically healthy weekend!

Evinda

Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks so very much for joining me, especially in the busiest season of the year! Grab your coffee and come back in for more of Nana Holds! I may keep you just a few minutes longer today so we can get through an incredibly important point, so make yourself comfy. I’m trusting that it will be worth your time!

A couple of blogs ago, I left off with a question about who was more blessed, the one who struggled less and had more, or the one who struggled more and had less? Well, I’d like to take this blog to answer that, which means I’ll be somewhat fast-forwarding to where we are emotionally and spiritually today, but it took several months to get here and I’m so glad I didn’t give up! See, in those first few months, I was still struggling with all the sacrificing and questioned why I had to go through all of this, why I had to give up my life as I had known it, my weekends and I didn’t feel very blessed. And although I was making the necessary changes, and sacrifices, my heart wasn’t quite in it all the way. All that has changed and I don’t want to give too much away but let me just share a couple of those life-changing revelations that have helped me to jump in with my whole heart!

When I was preparing for our November event titled “Living Outside Your Circumstance,” I realized then that He was allowing this and as long as I allowed Him to even with just a little piece of my heart, He would use it for something incredible. He showed me through a verse in John that the answer to living outside this circumstance, and any circumstance is actually within; that in order to get through it, and rise above it, we must acquire an eternal perspective to rise above our external circumstance. This is the verse: These things I have spoken to you; that in Me you may have peace. In the world, you WILL have tribulation but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world!

Well, the word tribulation got my attention and I was off and running to my Greek and Hebrew concordance and wow, what a treasure! Tribulation translates to “thlipsis” in Greek and primarily means “a pressing, pressure, anything which burdens the spirit and is often accompanied by anguish.” Hang on with me here because this gets better. So the root word for tribulation is actually a sort of sifting machine, a machine that goes and sifts the bad from the good by applying pressure!
There it is; the 10-karat diamond that sparkles with truth that shows us that circumstances/tribulations can work for our eternal good by sifting out the bad, separating it from the good, if we let them! Remember when I admitted that I saw myself as a not-so-kid-friendly Nana when this blog started? Well, I now know that He doesn’t want me to keep this perception, and through this circumstance and season, He’s going to separate the bad from the good and I will be transformed in the process to be more like Him, closer in His image.

Yes, most definitely, this circumstance, this tribulation has been working like a high-pressure sifting machine, cutting away the bad in me, unleashing me from a bondage I had no idea I was trapped in thereby bringing to surface the good. What’s telling about this is oftentimes, as soon as hardship comes our way, we automatically conclude, this couldn’t be from Him, and we begin to squirm and wiggle our way out, or scream our discontent and questions, shaking a finger at Him while hardening our heart.

When we ask why to a circumstance — and it’s okay to question, by the way — Jesus would have us remember that in a very real sense, Satan is temporarily in charge of this world and exercising squatter’s rights, and we all know that squatters don’t get to stay! Though it may look like the enemy is winning, GOD is the only one who can take the ugly pain, hurt, sorrow and any other side effect of our circumstance and turn it into something amazing.

In the meantime, don’t blame God for all the circumstances that you perceive to be wrong in your life; instead, look for an eternal good for your external circumstance, because when you take the X out of external, what do you have? So when I ask myself that question now, I can definitely look up and say, I am incredibly blessed for all I have gone through for He has used every bit of it to entwine my heart with His and I am humbled to know and realize just how much planning He has had to do on my behalf to get me where I am with Him and take me where I’m going, on my way to eternity!

I’d better let you go for now. Please join me on Monday for more of this journey of some of God’s most incredible sovereign multi-tasking skills ever displayed in my life.

Joyfully,

Evinda

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me today. Wow, only six more days until CHRISTmas! I hope you have been able to keep an eternal perspective during this season and are experiencing the true gifts of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control! Now that’s an eternal perspective. Grab your coffee and come on in.

About six weeks after that day that changed all of our lives, Bryce got a “job” transfer to a place that allowed visitors. It was a place we were familiar with because we had gone to see my son there for a season several years ago, a place of recovery with a home-like atmosphere, a place that I never stop thanking God for because life-changing seeds were planted in my son’s life that have rooted and in the not so distant past, began to sprout out and reach others! Teen Challenge will forever be on my top 10 blessing list!

I can’t even begin to tell you what a miracle it is that he’s there, let alone how he got there, but out of respect for him and his journey, that’s all I’ll say about that. To God be the glory and trust me when I say that He does work all things out for His glory for the good of those called according to His purposes. Bryce was “called” years ago; he just didn’t know it.

Within a few days of his transfer to his new “job,” Teen Challenge called George and asked him if we could take him to get a physical and some shots and they also let us know we could bring his clothes and personal belongings. This was another miracle because usually when a student begins the program, they do so with the understanding that they don’t get to have visitors for the first 30 days!

That visit is something I’ll cherish for years to come and it was time that helped ease the pain of the past, a time where we

received some answers to some questions and some suspicions confirmed, and a time where my stepson, for the first time affirmed me. It didn’t erase the past by any means, but understanding always eases the pain, and clarity makes it easier to move forward. When we hugged him good-bye that day, our hearts were much lighter than they had been in the weeks prior, and his last words lifted me off the ground for the whole trip home: “I love you, Kim.” I can’t even begin to put into words how thankful I was that for the prior months, I had hung on to the Father’s garment, sometimes with white knuckles, in order to show this young man love!

We found out about family visiting day just a few days before it was scheduled and I began to prepare Bryden by letting him know that Daddy had gotten a promotion in his job and now he’s somewhere where we can go and visit him. Unfortunately, because of the short notice, I couldn’t get out of a commitment, so George and Bryden went. I’ll forever wish I could have seen what my husband described as he saw his daddy for the first time in almost eight weeks!

They pulled into the church parking and sat for just a few minutes before they saw the Teen Challenge van. George says, “Bryden, there’s your daddy coming in his work van.” Bryden’s eyes followed Papa’s finger and he began to shout for his daddy. George got out of the truck and went around to Bryden’s side and began to get him out of his car seat all the while Bryden was saying “daddy, daddy, daddy.” Talk about an excited little boy. George set him down on the ground and by that time, the van had parked and the guys began spilling out of it.

Suddenly, Bryden pulled away from Papa and with a burst of energy that matched a rocket. He bolted across the parking lot shouting only one word in the happiest of voices: “Daddy, daddy, daddy. . .” It was like each time he said it, he gained momentum. And oh, what I wouldn’t give to have seen Papa as he tried to keep up with him, protecting him from any oncoming cars until Bryden landed ever so enthusiastically and safely in his daddy’s arms.

Joyfully,

Evinda

Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me for a little break at Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power. I know, especially during this time of year, taking a break is not always an easy thing to do! Grab your coffee and come on in.

Some things got a little easier going into the third week. For example, we were getting into some sort of a routine despite many arrows from others who unknowingly brought chaos to the structure and stability we were trying desperately to give little Bryden. But God is so good and He provided great support with friends, and especially with daycare. By this time, he had been with them for a little over six months and not only did he love his “Shuzanne,” as he calls her, and Donald, but he was totally attached to his two little playmates, their two children, and he almost always embraced going off to play for the day with them. Some mornings I would watch him walk to her car and marvel at just how tough God had created him and how well he was adapting.

And while there were a few cries for “daddy” that were answered with reminders that he was at a big job, the most important job of his life, there were many moments of giggles and playfulness. Unbeknownst to us, God was using this little guy to bring out the child in both of us, to get us to play again, laugh again despite the painful circumstance.

My heart smiles every time I rewind back to the early weeks and how He used Bryden to ease my husband’s sorrow. Watching them play always chased the sorrow away, pushed back all the questions of what-if, how, why, and every other question that threatened to steal those happy moments. Day by day, we were settling into our roles of Mama/Dada and praying for the day when we would be able to be Nana/Papa again, and yet, we were also realizing that in our new roles there would be opportunities to be both; that God would redeem all that the locusts had stolen.

And then a few weeks later, our Heavenly Father did just that when we found out that our son would be changing jobs and going to a new job that would allow for visitors!

Join me tomorrow for more moments and memories of this life-changing season and Nana Holds.

Evinda

Merry Christmas from Bryden and Nana!

Nana Holds From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me today for our Coffee Hour and this life-changing series Nana Holds. It encourages my heart knowing there is you to share it with. As I go out into the world and hear story after story of life happening, my heart hurts over the number of people walking in our very shoes, these shoes that were so uncomfortable at first and needed some serious stretching and breaking in.
Oh, to comfort others with the comfort we’ve been given! Grab your coffee and come on in.

The second week was a bit easier as far as getting into a routine with Bryden, but tougher emotionally as I realized how fragile my husband was. As I look to my journal for a recordation of what was happening, I am shocked at how raw my own emotions were and just how fragile George was, his fragility stretching me beyond my capabilities, causing me to rely on our God more than ever. As I rewind to that period of time, I certainly wouldn’t give me an A in the area of compassion and patience, but I did get a “passing” grade, at least.

We were dealing with raw emotions from all sides and I’m not sure whether it’s fortunate or unfortunate at this point – it felt and still feels unfortunate to us – but Bryden has a lot of family that loves him, including his biological mother, as much as she is capable, and her parents. Talk about issues! So since there isn’t a whole lot that would edify, I’m not going to let anything fly out of my mouth. Maybe someday I’ll have a huge testimony to share when it comes to all of them, but our struggle felt more like major interference as they wanted a piece of little Bry, too! So while we were trying to create some sort of stable environment for him, they were tugging on us, demanding they get to see him too.

As I think about it, all of that struggling led to many good things but the first apparent one was that we realized we were going to have to do something legal in order to protect him and by doing so, we would bring some sort of security to this tough little guy and shield him from others’ craziness and selfishness.

Yes, looking through the second week’s journal entries, the eyes of my heart opened to the reality of the constant threat upon our home and marriage and the cry of my heart was unto Him. I prayed for understanding, strength and a love beyond myself, and His answer often came through this little boy who was now in the habit of saying: “Nana holds,” and soothing my ever-aching soul.

Join me tomorrow for more of this life-changing series,

Evinda

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

P.S. Join us today for more of breaking free from co-dependency on Blog Talk Radio! www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power

Power Friday From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome and thanks for stopping by Coffee Hour for Power Friday. Grab your coffee and come on in.

So if you’re new to our Power Fridays, let me just share with you, these “power” thoughts are actually revelations that I’m receiving as I break free from co-dependency, which is happening at a slow, slow rate, but nevertheless it is happening! To God be the glory for the tools and people He is using to help me in this process, namely Steve Atkinson, my co-host on Blog Talk Radio.

Anyway, this power thought came to me just last week and is a great reminder that co-dependency is rooted in fear and anxiety and when we learn to recognize that, we can gain a bit of momentum in fighting this viral infection off. I hope it helps you and feel free to pass this on to your friends . . .

Is someone or something pushing your anxiety button? Answer it with prayer!

Less anxious,

Evinda

Nana Holds From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks so much for taking time to come have coffee with me. Grab your coffee and come on in.
Before I get back to where we left off, let me ask you a question; it’s one that I answered one way in the beginning months of becoming Mama/Nana, and now can honestly answer it another way: Who is more “blessed,” the woman/man who has much, struggles little and has no need for a relationship with Christ, or the woman/man who has less in the way of monetary things, struggles quite often but has this consistent joy, this untouchable peace?

See, in the first few months, I was asking “why” every bit as much as I was seeking Him for the “how.” One of those times I asked why and how came the second week. We were taking a walk around the neighborhood, one of the ways we were learning how to help Bryden spend some of that energy that I so wish I could bottle for George and me, because if I could, I’d be downing a big drink of it toward the end of the day. It’s like about 5:00 or thereafter, my energy has taken flight and it doesn’t return until the next morning! (Now, at about 3:00, I pray for strength for the next shift, the final shift of the day!) Anyway, we had all three of our four-legged kids – both of ours and Bryce’s big four-legged child – and we would attempt to let Bryden take one of the leashes and off we’d go.

We would go down our street, left at the end and head up that street which dead-ends at the golf-course. The first time we did this as we got closer and closer to the golf course, Bryden became more antsy and unsettled and then as we began to pass it, suddenly, out of nowhere, he stopped and began to cry with everything in him. George and I stopped in our confusion and his word collided with my realization of where his sorrow was coming from simultaneously.

See, he and his daddy used to always take a walk with the little red wagon. Bryden would be in the wagon and daddy would pull him; that is until they got to the golf course. Then Bryden would get out and they would both down into the ravine, looking for the golf balls that had erroneously disappeared from a golfer’s view and had gathered down in the wash/ravine. It was like a gold mine down there.

For Bryden, it was ball heaven because his very favorite thing is balls, golf balls, soccer balls, basketballs, baseballs, and let me tell you, he has a God-given talent when it comes to hitting and/or kicking them. Then they would gather them all up and put them in the wagon and make their way back home. A successful hunt was five to ten and an okay night was one to three, but no matter how many they found, Bryden was super thrilled. And we had to keep every one of them. Some went in his toy box in the family room, some in a glass container on the counter in his bathroom, some upstairs in his room, and of course, a few got left in the wagon.

Well, there we were trying to pass the golf course but stopped dead in our tracks. I bent down to reach for him just as he cried out “Daaaaa-deeee. I want my daddy.” I hurried to scoop him into my arms. As I felt my heart break, my mind asked why. Why does a little one have to endure so much sorrow? How does a little one endure so much sorrow and how do I do this, God? How? Somebody show me how.

We began to walk again with me holding him while he cried for a couple of minutes. And as we got away from the place that reminded him of his daddy, he calmed down, and he wanted down. As if it had never happened, he took Sparky’s leash and scurried down the sidewalk and it was all we could do to keep up with him. Inwardly, I was marveling at the new insight I had just received: God had made this little guy tough, resiliently tough and somehow, some way, we were all going to get through this circumstance.

Join me Monday for more of Nana holds, and we’ll return to that question I began our time with today.

Confidently,

Evinda

Nana Holds From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me for Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. Let’s get back to that first week of adjustment for Bryden and all of us in the absence of his daddy.

Towards the end of the first week, on a Saturday morning, in fact, George and Bryden were on the couch, cuddled up watching cartoons and he called. I heard, “Hi, Son,” and I stopped what I was doing and waited. It was then I realized that we had almost made it through the first week without him even questioning where his daddy was. He had just accepted what Nana had told him; that daddy was at a big job, the most important job of his life.

“Bryden, do you want to talk with daddy?”

Bryden’s face lit up like a birthday cake on fire. “Daddy, daddy,” he exclaimed.

I swallowed my urge to cry, successfully keeping the tears at bay as I listened to Bryden tell his daddy that him and Papa were watching cartoons and he had just eaten his cereal. Their conversation lasted a whole 45 seconds, if that, and just like that, Bryden was done talking with his daddy.

He gave the phone back to his Papa and he seemed perfectly content to continue watching cartoons.
George talked to him for a little bit and then I heard him say, “I want you to tell her,” and he handed me the phone. For the next couple of minutes, I listened as Bryce shared a powerful experience, one that I hope he will remember for the rest of his life because I know I will. He shared that he accepted Jesus into his heart, and that when he did, he felt chills all over his body. “It was pretty trippy,” he said.

“That’s awesome, Bryce. I’m so happy for you. Now He has your attention and the only way to go from this moment is up. He uses all things, Bryce, all things.” I encouraged him to talk with God every day and told him that I loved him and we would see him soon. I handed the phone back to George so he could say good-bye.

As we entertained Bryden that day, the first Saturday of many to come that would be consumed with and centered around this little boy, I couldn’t help but recognize and own the truth; that God was in control and though it wasn’t His will that certain choices had been made, only He could and would bring something amazing out of them. My heart was so much lighter as I realized our son was now one of His and that He was already at work in his life, despite us not being able to see him.

Amazed at His sovereignty,

Evinda

Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thank you for joining me today for a little break. Grab your coffee and come on in, away from the distractions and pulls on you!

The first week was probably the hardest for many reasons but the main one was the overwhelming reality of the responsibility of Bryden, how to protect him from the choices that his parents had made while convincing him everything in his world hadn’t changed. But it had and I consistently reminded myself that our God had brought us to this situation and HE would carry us through with or without our trust so I may as well lean on and in Him so as to gain all the revelations along the way.

Bryden’s world isn’t the only one that had changed. His papa’s world changed dramatically and he had a hard time hiding the sadness. That was probably what weighed heavier on and in my heart then the reality of the responsibility of a toddler and having to start over raising a child. Day after day I watched my husband age with the burden of sadness.

Each morning I’d hear his steps as he walked across the bathroom floor, heavy, heavy, heavy, and it wasn’t until several days later that I realized that something was missing: He was no longer singing in the shower like he used to. That may sound funny in a weird way to you but I can remember the first years of our marriage, how he always sang worship songs in the shower and whenever it stopped, I then would know that he had a heavy heart. Well, this was definitely one of those seasons.
Just a little detour: Ladies, if you are married, pay attention to the little things that your guy does that make you smile and appreciate him for them.

Because George’s world had changed, my world had changed. Watching him wait for the daily phone call from my stepson, his son, was also incredibly painful, but when the call finally came, some of the tension released. The first ray of hope came that first week with that first phone call that I answered and I’ll never, ever forget it. George wasn’t home so I got to talk with him for a couple of minutes and it was in this conversation that my stepson told me something he had never told me in the eight-plus years I’ve been married to his dad: He told me he loved me and how sorry he was; he then went on to acknowledge, “You’ve been like a mom to me and… I’m so sorry. I love you, Kim.”


My heart stopped long enough to soak up those words and I had no idea they would mean so very much, as if I had waited all this time for them. As I hung up the phone, I felt that spark of hope ignite within me again reminding me that He who works all things together for good was and is and always will be sovereign and in control.

Humbly,

Evinda

Nana Holds-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to our Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. I’m so glad you could come by and take a break with me. Grab your coffee and come on in.

As I look back on that first week of being Mama/Nana, it was definitely one of those footprint times when I know the Author and Finisher of our Faith carried George and me, and all of our pain, sorrow and frustration. There’s no need to go into all the gory details and run the risk of glorifying the evil one but what I would like to do is highlight some of the beautiful moments that shone through more brilliantly than all the pain and sorrow. They are moments that bring so many of the promises of God to life within our home and definitely deeply into this circumstance.

And in the midst of living in those moments, there were lessons learned along the way, again, lessons that bring to life the Holy Spirit inspired Word of God, promises that have led us through the most painful part of this circumstance to victory in many areas of our lives. See, He has warned us that we will have tribulations in this world, but He has already overcome them. I don’t know why I am always so surprised by His creativity, His sovereignty that accomplishes so much with one circumstance, but I am and I continue to be awestruck, captured by His characteristics in a way that ties so many knots in my string of faith along the way that I, by His grace, shall never come unraveled in my faith. I may have trouble finding my joy sometimes, and there may be days where I have to stir really hard to bring it up to the surface that it may come out and splash others, but I know too much to go back and too much of HIS Word, too many of HIS promises have come to fruition in my own life for me to unravel!

In the midst of the pain, sorrow, frustration and confusion, I was preparing for our holiday event “Living outside Your Circumstances.” Wow, did He ever prepare me that I may comfort others with the comfort I’ve been given. And in my research, I found some diamonds, big diamonds, Girls! I think they will sparkle so beautifully in any circumstance you may be going through and I’m excited to share them with you. The first diamond I discovered is within the word tribulation and I have to tell you as I dug for a deeper understanding, it became so much easier to keep an eternal perspective in our current circumstance, aka, tribulation.

Tribulation translates to “thlipsis” in Greek and primarily means “a pressing, pressure, anything which burdens the spirit and is often accompanied by anguish.” Hang on with me here because this gets better. So the root word for tribulation is actually a sort of sifting machine, a machine that goes and sifts the bad from the good by applying pressure!

There it is; the 10-karat diamond that sparkles with truth that shows us that circumstances/tribulations can work for our eternal good by sifting out the bad, separating it from the good, if we let them!
Please join me tomorrow for the beginning of the highlights of the moments that nearly took our breath away and etched in our hearts their revelations and lessons.

Marveling at His handiwork,

Evinda