Thanks so much for taking a little coffee break with me today. Grab
your coffee and let’s get back to this dilemma of an apparent angry
agency owner, two attorneys, and me, the baffled court reporter on the
phone with Christie, the office manager for the firm we were working
for!
Christie remembered me right away, but we both knew we needed to get
right to the problem. She repeated what my office manager had said; that
Counsel had set it up. It was obvious she was frustrated as well, and
within a few seconds, I could tell this was becoming a blame game but
all I wanted to do was solve the problem, find a place for the
deposition to take place and take names later. I mean as the minutes are
ticking, so is the doctor’s fee, who had just walked in, right smack in
the middle of all this.
Suddenly, I had Christie in one ear telling me to talk to Mr. W about
getting another conference room and then here comes the agency owner
walking like a bull in a china cabinet. In a gruff and demanding tone
she says: “I have another business right there. You need to come down
here,” and as the reality of her harshness hit me, I was grappling with
my other ear, trying to listen to Christie. Apparently, I wasn’t moving
fast enough because she repeated herself! Are you kidding me?
A hot flash threatened to break out and I mentally counted to three
as I walked forward. “Christie, I’m so sorry, could you say that again,
please? I couldn’t hear you because I’m being scolded and told to move
from where I was standing.” What I was really thinking was: you just
want to hear my conversation!
About that time here comes the doctor we are supposed to depose. As
he walks toward me he hears the angry agency owner who apparently didn’t
like the word “scolded” so she proceeded to turn her back on me and
announce to all of us that she wasn’t scolding me; she has another
business she’s trying to run.
Well, I could go all day about suppositions and accusations, but I
won’t because two wrongs don’t make a right. I got off the phone with
Christie, shook the doctor’s hand. He smiled at me and lifted his
eyebrows as if to say, “What in the world …” He did say, “I’ll be right
back,” and he walked into her office.
In the meantime, I told both attorneys I’d see about using a
conference room from my friend’s agency if they wanted to. My client
voiced his appreciation and said let’s see what the doctor says.
A few minutes later the doctor came out and announced we were driving
to downtown Claremont to his friends’ office who was also an attorney.
And then here she came to make her final announcement, not an apology,
an announcement. She began to reiterate her policies but what she said
next really pushed a button. With me standing directly across from her,
she said, as if I wasn’t there: “Your court reporter said I was scolding
her and I wasn’t scolding her. I was merely asking her to move so my
other business wasn’t bothered.
I interrupted her and in a calm but firm voice I said: “Excuse me.
You don’t have to talk about me as if I’m not here. I am standing right
in front of you.”
“Well, I wasn’t scolding you,” she retorted.
My voice suddenly raised about a half octave from before: “Yes, you
did. Listen to your tone right now. Why do you have to be so mean?” I
turned my back, caught my client’s eyes, and the doctor’s and began to
walk down the hall. I was so overwhelmed with what had just happened.
Never in 22 years of reporting had I come across any agency owner like
that. The most important thing was to get the deposition taken, for the
sake of the doctor and the two attorneys, not just our client.
I was shaken up to say the least, and as the picture comes to life
once again and I look at it from the outside in, I can learn from it and
recognize these things:
1. When dealing with an unreasonable person, do not expect anything but unreasonableness.
2. When I engage with an unreasonable person, I only add a huge log to the fire which will now threaten to burn out of control.
3. My opinions, my expectations born out of my flesh cannot change that unreasonable person.
4. And lastly, I do not need to use my opinions and expectations to defend myself for
though my flesh and my heart fail, God will continue to be the strength of my heart and my portion forever!
Incidentally, we did get the deposition completed and the doctor
admitted that he had never seen her behave like that before. He even
apologized for her, calling her behavior uncalled for, and then he
added: Maybe she was just having a bad day! Ugh, more salt to flavor
this lesson! The next morning in my quiet time, as I was working in my
“Becoming a Woman of Freedom” study, I came upon this verse! God is so
faithful, even when my flesh and heart fail!
Make it a great day!
Evinda
