Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for joining us today for a coffee break and what I hope will be a fun and informative time based on a few facts of Halloween, which I hope spin a web of clarity instead of confusion! Before you grab your coffee, let me introduce you to one of our board members. She’s absolutely one of my favorite people, a loyal friend and a lover of God. She has a way about her that comes out amazing in writing, so I’ve asked – who am I kidding; I begged her to write today’s blog! And she said yes! I’m super excited to introduce you to her. We all call her Nanny but her legal name is Jan Bachelor. I just know you will enjoy what she writes.
Here's a little interesting tidbit of information. Did you know that October 31(which the world calls All Hallows Eve or Halloween), is the same
day of the year that Martin Luther nailed his 95 “Thesis of Contentions” to the Wittenberg Church door? That Thesis started what is now called the Protestant
Reformation in 1517 as he challenged the accepted views of the Catholic Church, calling them heresy.
The beginning of the Protestant Reformation was a cause for Christianity changes in accordance with the Bible's teachings. Singing of hymns in the congregations and much, much more were then put into practice as well as many other wonderful things.
As I researched more about "Halloween", I found it to be a celebration of death & wickedness under a guise called, "All Saints Day" during the Celts era, and it was for the lord of darkness and death. Then in 43 AD, the Romans adapted it to their celebration day of death to fit in with their deities.
By 800 AD, the Celts along, with Christianity, accepted that day as a church festival of "All Saints Day." Bingo! There it is.
Then on that very day, Martin Luther proclaimed the reformation of non-biblical practices.
Isn't it incredible how the evil one uses October 31st to celebrate the ugly and how Martin Luther chose it to be the day of Reformation of Christianity? It sure does seem that the world chooses the evil to promote "fun." I would suggest that on this day, October 31st, every Christian should be celebrating "freedom” from the very things they call "fun." Quite the deceiver the devil is, and he uses children to do it. This is amazing to me, and not in a good way!
Just a thought to ponder how you celebrate this “fun” day. If you discover something different about this fact, please leave a comment and share.
Love from above,
Nanny


Reference:Greatsite.com/ Martin Luther and History Channel website

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for joining me today for a coffee break and for hanging in with me through all the ups and downs of this season. If anything, I hope you are feeling, as I am, that the ups make the downs easier! Grab your coffee and come join me. We are still making our way home from Vegas.
At the time, to me, it was pretty cut and dry; his son had messed up and thereby consequences should follow. What those were, I didn’t know. All I knew is I didn’t want him just being allowed to move back home as if nothing had happened. My fears were screaming that if we let that happen, then this whole incident gets swept under the carpet like some dirt and dust! And then, who knows when and if it would be dealt with. That was just not an option! Nope, front and center, right now, let’s deal with it!
I was fit to be tied or having a fit and falling in it; I couldn’t tell you which. But here’s the lesson He has been so incredibly patient and gracious enough to make sure that I learn, and He has incessantly used this marriage to teach me this: it’s not up to me to rub one’s nose in their messes! And maybe I’m the only one who’s done that; you know, be sure and be sure that they know what they’ve done isn’t right.
Well, that is the only common ground that George and I walked on at this time during our drive home. We both acknowledged that what he did wasn’t right. But that’s where the agreement ended and division took over. I wasn’t acknowledging any of his fears and concerns and he wasn’t acknowledging mine. Suddenly, despite our getaway, there was a wall in between us once again, a wall built by both of us and blocks added to it by this situation.
On the drive home, I remember trying to grasp at many of the truths I had learned by this time, especially in the area of co-dependency, and it was almost like I was a trapeze artist standing way up high on the platform, awaiting for her ring to come so she could let go and fly. And when the circle of truths finally came to the surface of my heart, I caught it in the air and clung to it with all of my might, willing myself to hang on and hang in and to do things differently.
I was then and am now only in control of me. I cannot make others catch their truths; they must do that for themselves so that they too can soar as on wings of eagles.
I also began texting a good friend on the way home to fill her in and ask for prayer. She’s one of the most encouraging souls I know and she and her husband are very special to both of us, and now even more so because when we finally pulled up at home, there they both were, parked and waiting for us!
Join me and a surprise guest blogger tomorrow for a bit of Halloween history, and Friday for November’s WOW! Whew, where in the world did October go?
Love from above,
Evinda

Oh it’s a great day to be alive and able to participate in kingdom work! I’m so excited about this final invitation today. Grab your coffee and come on in.
So we had our final event planning meeting this past weekend. Oh, friend, these team members are amazing, and God’s provision unmistakable. Watching them all work together in their little committees squeezed my heart with a smile over and over. It’s so exciting to see all of their growth, too! Why am I consistently so surprised?
When I look back to all that He has provided for this event, I would be remiss to leave out this final miracle. It’s our video guy. We met him through a couple who attended our Relationship Trench class a couple of months ago. He’s a real videographer, a professional who has been the video-taper for the Ms. America Pageants. He has agreed to do our event for such a tiny amount, too small to mention! Do you know how excited we are to know that we will have a quality CD/DVD to offer for sale afterwards? Oh, and he stepped up and offered to edit our little commercial we filmed a couple of weeks ago, too. He loves the Lord with all his heart and when he saw the clips we filmed for this commercial, he declared his enthusiasm for the ministry and is delighted to partner with CPM! He so believes in our mission, which is to meet others where they are, helping them out of the trenches in life.
I don’t know why I am so amazed at His provision. When He’s involved, He just does and gives exceedingly more than we could ever imagine! I hope you will be able to join us. He has so much in store for you!


Joyfully,
Evinda

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Thank you for joining me today for a little coffee break and more of this true life-changing story, Nana Holds, a season of change from the inside out! Grab your coffee and join us for our trip home from Vegas.
As the weekend progressed, so did my anxiety and I remember experiencing a sort of level ride the rest of the weekend, though there were times of emotional loop-de-loops and utter hopelessness, only to come back to center and remind ourselves that God was in control. We truly had no idea how to proceed and so by the time we got ready to drive home, my emotions plummeted. My fears were screaming and my faith was whispering but I couldn’t hear much of the whispers!
The closer we got to home, the more anxious I became. There was something feeding that anxiety, though, besides memories from the not too distant past and how we came to this season; and though the beauty by now had far out-weighed the pain, I didn’t want to repeat history. So is it any wonder that my husband’s indecisiveness about just how to handle the situation just about did me in.
I know now that I wasn’t making it any easier for him. I was blinded by my fears and my need for him to assure me he would handle it with me in mind, even though I had no idea what that looked like either! But here’s what I hadn’t learned yet: To let him handle it in the way he thought was best, and if he made a mistake, to still be gentle and kind and forgiving, trusting that he had OUR best interest in mind. In other words, I had to give him room to make mistakes and not smother him with my fears.
As I write that, I just want to puke because this has got to be the toughest lesson I’ve had to learn in marriage, especially considering the control-addict that I used to be. But I’ll stay on track here.
Honestly, at this point, I let my fears overwhelm me like an ocean wave with an undertow. I went under and by the time we were halfway home, I was dying for air, dying to know what he was going to do, dying to know he would protect me, us, but the crazy thing was, I had no idea what that looked like. How in the world could I ask him to do something I didn’t even know how to do?
So I don’t mean to leave you utterly exasperated, which is where I was at this point, but join me Wednesday for more as we trudge through yet another uphill climb in this season of Nana Holds.
Evinda

Nana Holds!

P.S. Join Steve and me for our Blog Talk Radio show on Breaking free from and understanding the faces of co-dependency. www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power and we’ll pick up Wednesday with a little bit more of the eternal struggle that will help us so rejoice in the victories that followed.

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Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

 

It’s great to share another Coffee Hour with you and more of this season which is definitely changing as I write this for you. Wow, I can’t wait to bring you up to where we actually are. Talk about a wild ride! Grab your coffee and come on in. We are still talking about a few ropes I found myself tangled in within my marriage!
The rope of victim, which I thought was long gone, reared its ugly head in my attitude as I all too often focused on how hard the task of raising a little one truly is more than the rewards of it. Again the cry of my heart was for Him who would lighten my heart, exchange my will for His and continue to transform my heart.
Another rope pulling on my heartstrings was that of weariness. I was consistently continuing to tell myself how tough this season was/is. Our brain only knows what we tell it and I’ll never forget when the light turned on and my complaining turned off, but that’s for me to share a different day.
These ropes and others were definitely thinning by this time, but they were still vying for my emotions, trying to trip me up and hold me captive in co-dependency, my innate tendency to rely on others for my happiness, especially my husband. It’s not easy admitting this, let alone writing this, but oh, how thankful I am that my Redeemer lives and that He’s never done painting on my life’s canvas.
So was it any wonder that I was looking forward, albeit tentatively, to a getaway with my husband? After receiving that phone call, and holding on to each other in our pain, I asked him what he wanted to do, if he wanted to leave. I was so uncomfortable with the thought of Bryce and Jene' and Bryden heading back to our home, all by themselves, as if nothing had happened; it just wasn’t sitting too well in my head and certainly nowhere near my heart. But the other problem was we were concerned for Bryce’s emotional well-being. Once the reality set in of all the possibilities that could take place and how they would, each and any one of them, change his life, we knew he would need some support.
On one hand I knew this situation required grace, but on the other, I was struggling with how do I do life with him in my home? I wanted to know that he was sorry and he would never do this again. Oh, how I wish he could guarantee that he would think of all involved before he made choices that affected us all. I looked at George, questions pouring out of my eyes that I didn’t dare ask but I knew we needed to handle the situation of where he was to go while we were hundreds of miles away.

                                                              He calls her Ja, Ja, Jene'!

I shared that with George and he called Jene’s dad, and they both agreed that Bryce should come there and not be alone. That being handled, I remember looking at my husband, smiling in a sort of bewildered kind of way and verbally reminding him of the promise I had made just three hours earlier, that I was going to look at all God was doing in and through this season with this amazing little boy , keep my eyes on Him instead of the difficulties that came with it. I hugged him to me and reminded him and myself that Bryce’s choice did not knock God off of His throne; that in His strength, we would get through whatever this new situation brought. And with that, we went back into the seminar, sort of in a daze, willing ourselves to enjoy the moments and leave the urgency at home where it would be waiting when we returned. And as we did, something strange knocked on my heart . . . I was missing Bryden, really missing him!
Join me Monday for more and have an amazing weekend!
Evinda

Nana Holds!

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks so much for taking time out of your day to join me for a Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. Grab your coffee and come on in. We were in the midst of a painful but good life-changing struggle!
It’s almost as though we were roommates again, going to our different corners for comfort and solitude rather than each other. We were on the same team for Bryden, but when it came to our marriage, we were definitely playing different games in the field of life.
I didn’t know then what I know now, and what I learned on that day of the phone call that changed a lot of things: He was actually still reeling from the pain of it all and there were several other issues that were pulling on his emotions as well, but because they were unspoken, they went unmet and misunderstood.
Up until this getaway in April, I was still playing emotional hopscotch with my ropes! Now I am able to see one of the participating ropes was that rope of selfishness. I was sad and frustrated all at the same time. I didn’t know how to let him feel what he was feeling because I wanted him to be strong for me. This had been going on for weeks before I was finally able to recognize that our marriage was undergoing a form of purifying and refining, ridding us of things I had just

recently recognized as unhealthy but of which I had helped to create.

God is always in the transforming
business, and this season of Nana Holds 
is no exception! What an amazing multi-tasking
God we serve!                                                                                            
                                                                                                                             Moments with Bryden
                                                                                                                              that make me smile

Join me tomorrow for more of Nana Holds which will bring us to what we did after that phone call!
Evinda

Nana Holds!

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thank you for having coffee with me today. Life moves so fast and it’s so important to get off the merry-go-round and stop spinning for a bit. Grab your coffee and let’s get back to how this season of Nana Holds was/is purifying my marriage.
See, George had stopped singing in the shower months ago. Each morning, I would hear his feet drag across the carpet as he got up and ready for work. Sometimes I even heard him sigh, almost groan, as he got up. While it broke my heart, it also frustrated me. But I couldn’t get in his lane, and I was learning I needed to stay out of his car. He and God needed to work this out.
But I did however internalize some things that I didn’t recognize then, but I do now; bitterness was tangling all my ropes up and preventing empathy to flow through me and out to him. I was bitter because I felt so unprotected during the events that led to this season. My unspoken expectations pulled me further and further away from understanding that I was still part of the problem!
It was so painful to see him struggle and I just wanted him to be okay, to look at all that God was working in and through this situation. I needed him in ways I couldn’t even understand and instead of expressing my needs, I went to my corner internalizing a lot of unasked questions, a bit of bitterness and frustration, and I left him to struggle in his.
This truth comforted me: I was learning to be free from the need to control him, of really knowing I couldn’t fix him; I could only pray for him.
Let me end our time today with a question: Have you ever sunk into the pit of depression? If so, what pushed you in? What/who pulled you out? Do you find it hard to pray when you’re down and depressed? Oh, sweet friend and sister in Christ, write Him a letter; journal your innermost thoughts in a letter to Him. He longs for your burden to be lighter!
Join me tomorrow for more of Nana Holds.
Evinda

Nana Holds!

Invitation Tuesdays

Invitation Tuesdays-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Oh, what a difference a week makes! Grab your coffee and come on in for some event updates.
So something a lot of you didn’t know is our amazing Patty, CPM’s assistant got an amazing job offer for a full time job, a job that she had applied for a year before coming to us! About two months after starting with CPM, she began to get phone calls from them and after seven of them, she knew she had to at least check it out. Well, of course they hired her! She’s amazing. The second to her last day, she brought me a resume of someone who is a Harvard graduate and to be honest, I paid very little attention to it because there was no way I wanted to try and train someone only to lose them again, especially in the midst of planning an event!
Oh, friends, if you ever think God doesn’t care about all that concerns you, or if you believe He doesn’t know how to laugh, let me tell you, those are two HUGE lies from the devil. Let me explain what I mean. After several weeks of no assistant and wondering why God had taken the amazing one I had and placed her somewhere else, juggling marriage, working and ministry, while riding the wild broom ride of menopause too, oh, and don’t forget another sinus infection, I snap! Yup, and not a clean snap, either! Ugly is the first word that comes to mind. Anyway, I let my board know, we have four applications, three of which I’d like to interview, and so we set them up for the same Saturday as our event team meeting.
We interviewed two ladies; and yes, one of them being the Harvard graduate. There were four of us in the interviews and I know we were all wondering, what in the world is a Harvard graduate doing applying for a part-time job in a ministry? None of us were prepared for her answer but her answer convinced all of us that we not only needed her, she needed to be a part of ministry! So all that to say, CPM now has another assistant and the only reason I brag upon her Harvard degree is to bring home the truth that when God is serving, He doesn’t just served chopped liver or hamburger but He serves the best of the best. Do you realize, because I finally did, that without Patty, our former assistant, we never would have met Christina, our new assistant?
Yes, God works all things out for His glory, and our good, according to His good and perfect will. Please, plan on joining us November 2nd for a whole lot of great things, and please, introduce yourself to our new assistant Christina!

Get Your Ticket today!

Love and laughter,
Evinda

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Thanks so much for taking the time to join me for coffee and more of Nana Holds. Before I move forward in this true life-changing story, I need to rewind just a bit – and when I edit this for a book, I’ll put it in its right order! – and share with you exactly where I was at in my marriage before we took off for that little getaway. Grab your coffee and come on in.
I think by sharing exactly where I was emotionally, it will help us appreciate the beauty that came from the pain. Please know that what I write is from my heart and in no way meant to offend those involved. See, I know, and have known for quite some time, that I can’t change anyone. When I get up there to my eternal home, and He talks with me about my fruit and my stuff, He’s not going to talk to me about what kind of husband George was to me, or what others did to me. Nope! He’s going to talk with me about me, my actions, my faith, my works.
Looking back on this emotionally painful time helps me to appreciate how far we’ve come in this journey, and of course all praise goes to our Abba for without Him, I wouldn’t have even stayed in the ride, and it’s been a ride. All that being said, come with me just a little bit before this trip, which is in March.
Every day, especially in the evening, I recognized my husband’s weariness, the truth that he was clothed in it as well as unhappiness. These clothes were tough to get next to and I have to admit, I wasn’t doing well watching him struggle. Don’t get me wrong; It wasn’t like I hit him over the head and said, “Get over it.” Heck no; I would never do that, but in all honesty, I was having a hard time watching him struggle. I was allowing his restlessness to cause me great anxiety, and that anxiety prevented me from being gentle and quietly understanding towards him. In other words, he wasn’t snapping out of it in my time!
But perhaps it was because the silhouette of my own childhood that was pulling on me and lurking around and over me. Even more intensely was the silhouette of my mother, a woman who never really learned how to connect, never really breaking free until the last two weeks of her life. But when she finally did, oh, how beautiful it was. I’m so thankful there’s a huge smile in my heart that overcomes all those years of disconnect.
The emotional peeling process was continuing faster, more intense. I was breaking free from the need to defend myself, but still a ways off from complete freedom.
What about you; when someone you love is deeply struggling and unhappy, how do you maneuver around that? How do you not let it affect you?
Thoughtfully,
Evinda

Nana Holds!

P.S. Join Steve and me for our Blog Talk Radio show on Breaking free from and understanding the faces of co-dependency. www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power and we’ll pick up Wednesday with a little bit more of the eternal struggle that will help us so rejoice in the victories that followed.

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Tags: emotional, faith, heart, love, marriage, praye

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Thanks for joining me today for a little coffee break and more of this true life-changing story that has rendered me completely different than when we first began, than the first time I ever held this precious boy. Grab your coffee and come on in.
Friend let me just say that it’s not for me to share what he did. But what is for me to share is what I did with this news of his choice that could change all of our lives for a very long time, not just his own, but his little boy’s as well as ours. What he did is part of his testimony that only he and God can write; how I respond to it can either add beautifully-colored ink to his testimony or colors that make it more painful. But what I learn from it and how I respond also becomes part of my testimony, my witness of my faith in a redeeming God who can make beauty from junk, joy from pain and sorrow.
All I knew in that moment is I didn’t want to make things worse, but how in the world was I going to avoid that considering I didn’t want him to come home, especially under these circumstances. And the other fear that came screaming, crashing with the truth was how in the world was this going to affect our marriage?
I hung up the phone and George and I stared at each other. I was reeling with the truth of trial by fire and I said as much to George. My eyes filled up as I said, “It wasn’t three hours ago that I said I would quit complaining.” I shook my head in disbelief but there was this sense of strength that I just knew had to be divinely instilled. I ruminated on Romans 8:28, repeating to myself, all things, all things. And Jeremiah 29:11-13 came to dance in my head too, reminding me that His plans were not to harm me, but to refine me, make me more like Him.

Lighter moments

I repeated these promises to George, who looked as though he was losing air fast. His countenance was low and his shoulders drooped in defeat. It’s in moments like this that a marriage is truly tested, a marital love stretched, a covenant kept, or broken. I went and stood right in front of him, silently begging him to hold me.
He heard my thoughts and he wrapped me in his arms. I let myself stay there, trying to draw strength from him, his love and our love for each other. All I wanted to do was run away with him and pretend we didn’t get the phone call we just got. His words brought me out of my wishful thoughts: “I don’t’ know if I can do this for another year!”
Those words rendered me not only speechless, but they humbled me as I realized the depth of what he had just said. He had just expressed something incredibly revealing, and it was wrapped up in honest vulnerability. The way he slumped into me proved that what he had just let out were words that he had been holding back for a very long time.
As I held on to him as if for life, another realization collided with a revelation: He had been holding on to his own struggle so he could be strong for me. I wasn’t the only one who had been struggling through this season; so had he. I can’t even begin to explain to you how his admitting this freed me, caused me to love him more as I realized that all this time, he’d been holding his feelings in because of his selfless love for me. But in reality, my struggle had become his and now knowing the season would most likely be extended was just too much for him to think about.
In that moment, as all these truths collided and we held each other, we both wept unaware of anyone else but us.
Join me Monday for more.

Nana Holds!

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Nana Holds!

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Thanks for joining me today for our Coffee Hour and the return of Nana Holds. As I write this, I can’t help but experience a little bit of apprehension as I begin to share with you this next part, but oh, how thankful I am that He is the author of my story, and I know that eventually, our ending will be happy. Grab your coffee and come with me back to Las Vegas, in the foyer, where George has just nearly yelled, “What in the heck did you do?”
George’s voice had raised at least an octave above the whisper that he used inside and when I looked at him standing there, the phone practically glued to his ears as he was white-knuckling it, he was, to put it mildly, exasperated. He looked so frustrated, hopeless, confused and any other adjective you want to throw in there.
I sat there, willing myself to breathe, wondering what in the world could be happening. And what was even scarier is the visible transformation I saw slowly revealing pain and sadness, frustration and anger, all wrapped up and spilling out from my husband, yes, from the inside out. It was almost as if he aged yet another ten years, and I saw the wind get knocked out of him.
By this point in the conversation, I knew what had happened. I could also tell that George was running out of things to say but getting more and more tangled in a dangerous web of words so I motioned for him to give me the phone.
“What happened?”
Bryce went on to tell me about the circumstances surrounding a choice he had made.
“But why, Bryce? How could you knowing what was at risk?”
He explained that he wasn’t happy, and he hadn’t been happy for quite some time.
I swallowed my rage and my urge to scream, “Are you stinking kidding me?” When I had gulped down a couple breaths, I was very careful as I chose how to respond to him. I explained to him that life isn’t about being happy all of the time, but what we do in those moments of unhappiness defines us.
“Well, all I can say is I’m sorry.”
I was calmly exasperated as I realized that his choice had just changed his living arrangements; that he would be coming back home. But I couldn’t wrap my head around that; maybe because I didn’t want to because I think I was stuck somewhere between shock and the spiritual realm, wondering if God allowed this to see if I was going to make good on my promise to quit complaining about how hard it is and continue to praise Him for all he’s accomplished during this season of Nana Holds.
Join me tomorrow for more,
Evinda

Nana Holds!

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