Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…
Thanks so much for taking the time to join me for coffee and more of Nana Holds. Before I move forward in this true life-changing story, I need to rewind just a bit – and when I edit this for a book, I’ll put it in its right order! – and share with you exactly where I was at in my marriage before we took off for that little getaway. Grab your coffee and come on in.
I think by sharing exactly where I was emotionally, it will help us appreciate the beauty that came from the pain. Please know that what I write is from my heart and in no way meant to offend those involved. See, I know, and have known for quite some time, that I can’t change anyone. When I get up there to my eternal home, and He talks with me about my fruit and my stuff, He’s not going to talk to me about what kind of husband George was to me, or what others did to me. Nope! He’s going to talk with me about me, my actions, my faith, my works.
Looking back on this emotionally painful time helps me to appreciate how far we’ve come in this journey, and of course all praise goes to our Abba for without Him, I wouldn’t have even stayed in the ride, and it’s been a ride. All that being said, come with me just a little bit before this trip, which is in March.
Every day, especially in the evening, I recognized my husband’s weariness, the truth that he was clothed in it as well as unhappiness. These clothes were tough to get next to and I have to admit, I wasn’t doing well watching him struggle. Don’t get me wrong; It wasn’t like I hit him over the head and said, “Get over it.” Heck no; I would never do that, but in all honesty, I was having a hard time watching him struggle. I was allowing his restlessness to cause me great anxiety, and that anxiety prevented me from being gentle and quietly understanding towards him. In other words, he wasn’t snapping out of it in my time!
But perhaps it was because the silhouette of my own childhood that was pulling on me and lurking around and over me. Even more intensely was the silhouette of my mother, a woman who never really learned how to connect, never really breaking free until the last two weeks of her life. But when she finally did, oh, how beautiful it was. I’m so thankful there’s a huge smile in my heart that overcomes all those years of disconnect.
The emotional peeling process was continuing faster, more intense. I was breaking free from the need to defend myself, but still a ways off from complete freedom.
What about you; when someone you love is deeply struggling and unhappy, how do you maneuver around that? How do you not let it affect you?
Thoughtfully,
Evinda
Nana Holds!
P.S. Join Steve and me for our Blog Talk Radio show on Breaking free from and understanding the faces of co-dependency. www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power and we’ll pick up Wednesday with a little bit more of the eternal struggle that will help us so rejoice in the victories that followed.
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