Nana Holds

Thanks so much for joining me for a little break today at Chicklit Power! It’s so good to be sharing coffee and memories with you! Grab your coffee and come on in. We left off about our discussion of a backpack and matching lunch pail for big boy school!

So that’s how we’d start the day, discussing which backpack and matching lunc pail he was going to get when he was all potty trained and ready for big boy school. Then I’d put a pull-up on him, get him dressed and give him kisses with a reminder to tell Nana when he had to go potty so we could begin to prepare for big boy school.

And we were also using one other bribery tool: coins! He loves coins. Every time he made bubbles, he would get to take two coins out of the little glass jar that I set on the tank of the toilet. Then he would run into his room to add his two coins to his piggy bank. But the real bribe was for him to go number 2 in the potty! We told him he could have a whole handful of coins out of Papa’s bank when he pooped in the potty.

It’s funny how that started, too, now that I think about it. He used to see Papa’s change in his bank and he’d just stick his hand in it and take some change without asking. Well, rather than scold him, we told him every time he went poo-poo in the potty, we’d let him come into Papa’s closet and take a big handful of coin out of his bank. (That way he earned the money and wasn’t just taking it!)

It took what felt like a long time – a few weeks but I’ll never forget the first time he did it. He was acting like he had the urge so I set him on the potty and told him I’d be right back. I ran upstairs for something – I don’t even remember now – and I had just made it into my bathroom and I heard: NAAAAAAAAANA! I did it. I went poo-poo in the potty! I ran downstairs so fast I just know I missed every second step and flew into the bathroom to verify his announcement!

Sure enough, there it was! Holy cow! It really worked and it continued to work. I love rewinding the memories of when he would get to go into papa’s closet and reach for his bank and take a handful of coins.

We’d pick up Papa’s bank together, put it on the floor, and Bryden would kneel down on his knees and get as comfortable as he could stand it. Then he would stick his whole hand in there, and dig ever so deeply into at least eight inches of coins – I’ve had to fill it three times – and he’d bring his hand up ever so slowly so as not to lose any of his hard-earned coins.

Before they began to spill, I’d say, “Use both hands so you don’t lose any.”

He’d put his other hand right next to the coin-packed one and let a few spill into his empty hand and they we would scurry into his room to transfer the coins into his very own piggy bank!

Oh, I treasure those moments of turning potty-training into praise! I marvel at the gift of second chances, of unexpected opportunities for do-overs! We serve a loving and creative God!

Join me tomorrow for our Power Friday!

Evinda

Nana Holds!

Thanks so much for joining me for a little break today at Coffee Hour. Grab your coffee and come on in.

As the days passed and we got into “our” routine again, I began to relax a bit with him, and he with me. I realized that God would reveal whatever the “something keeping me from something” was, but it would come easier if I didn’t let it rent so much space in my head as that would take me away from what He’s actually trying to accomplish in me and through me as I learn to put into action all the things I’ve learned and put to rest all that I’ve unlearned!

See, with the visits to others, potty-training was sort of put on hold so with no immediate visit away from home for at least three weeks, I began to give this chore a lot more dedication and yet, I was learning not to be so serious at the same time.

I’m not sure how the subject came up, but I’m pretty sure it was in the midst of another accident, and this one was a poopy one and George was the lucky one on cleanup at that moment! In his frustration, he brought up big boy school came and told him, “How am I going to take you to big boy school if you keep pooping your pants?”

Well that little seed must have resonated in Bryden’s head and it didn’t take long to root. He kept talking about big boy school. I mean the concept totally got his attention and let me tell you, we took that tool and ran with it as if it were the last football to touch the 100 yard line! Although we did look a bit dorky as we still weren’t quite so sure what we were doing and how we were doing it!

I’d tell him each morning, Bryden’s gonna go to big boy school and Nana and Papa are going to get you a big-boy backpack and a big boy lunch pail. His eyes would get real wide — and he has the most expressive and big brown eyes! And I just love the way he’d repeat it, his pronunciation of “big” incredibly heart-warming as he emphasized his the “b,” nearly sputtering every time because he said it so hard.

And then we’d have a discussion on what type of backpack he wanted for big boy school, and the lunch pail had to match. He was torn between Spiderman, Superman and Sponge Bob and I assured him that when the time came and he was going potty in the toilet all by himself, we’d go and get that backpack and matching lunch pail.

Join me more potty-training praises tomorrow!

Joyfully

Evinda

Invitation Tuesdays-From Chicklit Power Ministries

Thanks so much for joining me today for Invitation Tuesday. Grab your coffee and come on in. I’ve got something exciting to share with you about the workshop!

For those of you who have been to past events, you know that there are usually two speakers, one for each half. Well, we still have two speakers, but the second half of this workshop is going to be different, and let me tell you, I believe it will be ever so powerful.

Many of us are captivated by the various T.V. talk shows, especially those that deal with real life issues. Well, for the second half of our event, we are going to be doing just that, a T.V. talk show.

Steve and I will be addressing real relationship issues live! We have already received several emails from friends of CPM explaining their relationship challenges, and let me tell you, one size does not fit all, but the challenges, hurts and hang-ups mirror those in many relationships. So come looking for revival, because I know it can happen for all of us!



Revived,

Evinda



P.S. If you have a relationship question, challenge, struggle or hurt, PLEASE, email me at evinda@chicklitpower.com or Steve Atkinson at shrinkhead@aol.com We’d love to have you share.

Nana Holds!

Welcome back to more of Nana Holds. Grab your coffee and come on in.

So these emotional tug-of-wars with various ropes would last a few days each time he came back from his grandma who he calls mommy and while struggling to understand some of what I was feeling and why I was feeling it, I showed up sort of on automatic. It’s not that I didn’t want to care for him; I’ve moved way beyond that and I have surrendered to Him in this season. But there was something keeping me from something, and that’s all I knew. I wondered why he and I were bonding so differently and so slowly, and why he didn’t love me the way he loved her! Is it because we are not blood-related? Talk about feeling like a bull in a china cabinet bucked to and fro by my frustrations!

And please don’t misunderstand these mixed emotions for jealousy because I truly am not jealous; rather I am a bit envious of what they share. Incidentally, I happen to really love this woman, Bryden’s fraternal grandmother, and we are truly becoming good friends who are, I believe, learning from each other!

It was in these short periods that I would catch myself dwelling on the cost of the sacrifice in this season but deep down in my soul, I acknowledged that He allowed it. I could choose to be bitter or choose to be better. Paul tells us in 1st Thessalonians 5:17 to give thanks in all circumstances for this is His will for us.

See, I don’t believe it was/is His perfect will for a child to be born out of wedlock, or in the midst of so much dysfunction – we could discuss the painful situations all day that are endless and happening all around us — but what I know that I know that I know is I can praise Him for what He can do while I’m in this circumstance, in this season of being mama-nana to this wonderfully-engaging and gregarious little boy. So although there are times I just humanly cannot praise Him for this circumstance as I’m in it, I can praise Him for His sovereignty as I’m in it!

Join me Wednesday for some fun memories that we created in this process.

Thoughtfully,

Evinda

Power Friday @ Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power

Thanks for coming by for Power Friday at Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power! Grab your coffee and come on in.

So I’ve had a couple of opportunities to put all that I am learning about co-dependency into practice, and let me tell you, I have some mixed emotions about how I did this past week as it relates to this incredibly unlovable person that will always be in my life! And I can’t help but smile as I realize He gave me a do-over, in other words, not one chance, but two!

When I think of the first conversation, I shake my head in frustration with myself, but then He nudged me toward a second conversation and that one went much better! I so get that I can’t fix her, change her; however, my desire is to go beyond just tolerating her! I had to get my focus off of all that annoys me about her!

That’s where this power thought comes from: Freedom from co-dependency frees us from fault-finding, taking us beyond the limit of merely tolerating the unlovable/difficult people in our life!
 

Have a freeing weekend!

Thoughtfully,

Evinda

Nanna Holds -Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks so much for joining me today for a little break. I enjoy having Coffee Hour with you and sharing this powerful series, Nana Holds. Grab your coffee and come on in.

So as we pull into our garage, his sad little voice pulls me out of my emotional tug-of-war: “We’re home.” Those were the sweetest words I’d heard all day, and they went a long way in soothing my troubled soul and pulling me out of and away from these unfamiliar emotions that were bringing a lot of questions to the surface of my mind. At least he still considered this home, I thought.

Sparky was pretty excited to see little Bryden; but the little princess Baraka, now called Baraka-Evinda, was standing back, still not adjusted to having to share our affections, and therefore, not really a fan of little Bryden , yet. We began to make our way into the laundry room, me behind him, but he didn’t want me to hold him; rather, he wanted to walk in all by himself.

I brought in all of his stuff while he sat on the floor with his blanket and his new book, turning the page once in a while, captivated by the voice of the one he just left, the one he had bonded with as though she were mommy.

I busied myself with putting all his stuff away, the stuff he left with and now more new stuff from his Grandma, Papa, and Tauntie Bre! This child wants for nothing; trust me, at least materially speaking! As I put his clothes away and his new toys, and a new hat, and slippers, too, the emotional wrestling match continued on in my mind and traveled into my heart. On one hand I was so grateful that God had surrounded this little guy with many people who love him so much and I was and continue to be amazed at how resilient he is, though I question how long that will last. And that’s not being pessimistic; just realistic.

I was also grateful that just when we needed it most, there was someone to take him for a couple days, or a week, and extend to us a bit of a break. As I write this, the emotional tug-of-war reveals one rope, the rope of guilt for needing a break. His other grandma always says she would take him to live with her; in fact, she wants that very much and cries every time she leaves him, but she knows that his daddy needs to be able to see him and be daddy to him as much as is possible for his recovery and restoration.

Another huge rope in this emotional tug-of-war is coming to the surface, though I can’t quite make out its purpose, its definition and why it keeps wrapping around my heart and mind causing me anguish, bringing questions to the surface more and more consistently so much so that I know I will one day have to answer them after going deeper with Him!
Join me next week for more of this revealing season of Nana Holds!
Evinda

Nanna Holds -Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thank you so much for joining me for more of Nana Holds! Grab your coffee and come on in for more life-changing revelations in this season of parenting our grandson.

Something that was beginning to ring more true is that while we may not create our circumstance, we do create our environment in our circumstances! George and I were adjusting to our new season, and it amazed us how well Bryden seemed to be adjusting, especially each time we would go visit his daddy at his “job,” and when they would say good-bye, Bryce would kiss him, tell him he loved him and had to go back to work. Bryden seemed to understand that and it was rare that he would be sad as we would drive away.

As I talk about good-byes, it reminds me of someone he had a very, very hard time saying good-bye to, and that’s his Grandma , his daddy’s mom, whom he called Mommy and to this day, there is still some confusion for him, though not near as much.

See, she was like a mommy to him and they bonded in the way mommies and children bond. Grandma filled that void for him, and so their relationship is incredibly special. Anytime we would get him back from her, it was a little heart-wrenching, but this one time, the wrench kept turning and tweaking my heart and I begged it to stop. She put him in his
car seat in my car, talked with him for a few and she did a good job not letting him see her cry, but he wasn’t holding his tears back. It about ripped my heart out, but it stirred up something else, too, and it wasn’t jealousy. First, I recognized the emotional pain of this circumstance that put this little boy in a different kind of nurturing situation, that of being nurtured and parented by his grandparents — all of us — his confusion of one of them being his grandma instead of his mommy. I mean all of that is easy to see, feel and even understand.

But getting back to this particular instance, she had given him one of those books you create yourself with pictures and pre-recordings to tell you own story. As we began to leave the parking lot, he held on to it, clutching it as if it were her. He was so incredibly sad that it overwhelmed me with many unfamiliar emotions. As I pulled onto the freeway to begin the drive home, I looked at him through my rear-view mirror and the sadness I saw take up residence on his face just did something to me. Today was a sad, sad day.

And while I was sad for him, I also became internally angry and frustrated, and I wrestled with varying emotions the whole drive home as I listened to the love pouring out of this homemade story book made just for Bryden. Over and over he’d play a couple of pages, obviously his favorite ones, and they definitely soothed his little soul because by the time we made it to our off-ramp, he was fast asleep!

Join me for more tomorrow,

Evinda

Invitation Tuesdays at Coffee Hour with Chickilt Power

Thanks for joining me today for another Invitation Tuesday. Grab your coffee and come on in.

I am so excited about how this event is coming to life and the things He is revealing to me about relationships! I had no idea that there was still so much for me to learn, so much for me to let go of in order to experience all that was intended in relationships and the crazy thing about it is He’s using relationships to reveal these things to me, as well as something else which I’ll reveal to you at the workshop!

He’s also already given me the opening for this event and I can hardly think about it without crying! So, mark your calendars and bring some tissues to wipe those happy tears!


Looking forward to sharing with you all He’s beend ownloading into my mind and heart,

Evinda

Nanna Holds -Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thank you so much for joining me for a little coffee break at Coffee Hour! Grab your coffee and come on in for a few minutes.

I left off with Bryden’s daddy’s graduation from the first phase of his program. I am returning there because there were a couple of poignant moments I want to try and recapture for you. Bryce was sitting in the row ahead of us with the other guys who were also graduating and we were right behind him. Well, Bryden had found a nice big piano which kept him entertained for a few minutes, marveling at the concept of pushing a key down and it makes a noise sometimes pretty and soemitimes… well, not so pleasing to the ear! Soon he wasn’t content with that. He wanted to sit with his daddy. So down he went and up he climbed, announcing as if no one else were in the room that he wanted to sit on his daddy’s lap. All this was happening while one of the directors was welcoming us all to the graduation.

Hmmm, what to do? Pick him up and take him out and cause an even bigger stink, or just let him be and see if he would settle down? This question went around in my head while a hot flash trickled down my back!

Just about the time I was going to reach for him, the director asked us to stand. I watched Bryce stand with his little boy in his arms and it was as though they were one. With his head on his daddy’s shoulder and a one-of-a-kind look of contentment on his face, he clung to his daddy. It was the sweetest picture of a little boy hanging on to his daddy, eyes sweetly closed, an angelic look on his face that comes with contentment, when all else is right with the world because of who you’re with.

The director began to pray, and Bryden let us know he was listening with a resounding “Amen” at the end. The sound of laughter erased my prior question, at least for the time being, and we sat down to listen as the director explained what the graduates had to do to get where they were today.

Then we got to hear from each of the graduates as they gave a quick testimony of what being in the program had done for them thus far. I just knew George was practically holding his breath waiting to see his son stand up in front of a crowd and speak, no matter what he said or how he said it, because George’s greatest fear is speaking in front of others. In fact, he has warned me to never invite him up to the stage to speak at one of our events.

Bryce didn’t disappoint and delivered quite well, even making us laugh through the tears as he shared the sovereignty of how God had intervened in his life just in time and how he just wanted to concentrate on getting healthy and learn how to have a relationship with this God he had been running from , the one his dad had been trying to introduce him to for years.

That’s when the final poignant moment of this day happened, when I recognized the elation I was feeling was similar to when my own son had stood before us and declared his commitment to sobriety, and to God. God was blending our family, one child at a time and I couldn’t have been more proud of him if he were my biological son!

Join me Wednesday for more!

Smiling,

Evinda

Power Friday @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for joining me for Power Friday at Chicklit Power! Grab your coffee and come on in for just a few.

This week’s power thought came to me while I was out on a run and sort of doing some inventory of my recent interactions with a couple of people. Suddenly it hit me that this “gift” of words that He’s given me can sometimes be a curse if I don’t use them wisely. The reality of that collided with the truth we’ve all heard forever, “Actions speak louder than words.”

So to bring that little quote up to date, here’s my power thought:

 If I couldn’t speak with words, what would my life be saying?

Have an awesome awe-inspiring weekend,

Evinda

Nana Holds

Happy day to you! Thanks for stopping by for a little coffee break at Chicklit Power. Grab your coffee and come on in for some sweet memories we made while waiting for September 24th, the date that would determine guardianship for little Bryden.

Rewinding the memories, I can’t help but smile as I see them outlined in support, the support of friends and especially CPM family. Bryden became more and more outgoing, that is until something happened and then all of a sudden we would watch him hide. And then, out of nowhere the answer of his hiding would come in that distinct odor. Yup, he was beginning to hide every time he pooped his pants!

Just the reminder makes me break out in another hot flash! I couldn’t believe it; in my 50s and God was calling me to potty-train! Really! Never in a million years did I imagine this is what I would be doing at 50-something! But it was time and so I began to get prayed up; after all, he was two-and-a-half. And despite his daddy’s mom telling me that Bryden’s daddy didn’t train until he was three, and George told me this too, I knew if I was ready, then Bryden would get there, too!
So, if you can imagine, there I was hot-flashing and daring to begin the vicarious roller coaster ride of potty-training. I remember thinking to myself that I so wanted this to be a more positive experience than it was the first and only time I did this with my son. I wanted to experience more highs than lows. I didn’t want to get myself so worked up, so instead I prepared myself emotionally for lots and lots of accidents. I wanted to be patient, patient, patient and equally as loving.

Well, it definitely takes more than good intentions! This child had to be the hardest-headed little two-and-a-half and for a couple days, I felt derailed from my good intentions. See, when he would have an accident, I’d ask him, and he’d say no!
My first reaction was that of old coping mechanisms as I inwardly accused him of lying. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why he would lie. But after a couple of those instances, and a few talks with a couple of friends, understanding settled in as I prayed for a mind of a two-and-a-half-year-old. He was just being two-and-a-half and he didn’t understand it as a lie; he just knew from my tone, my attitude, and my body language that this type of accident wasn’t a good thing. I didn’t want him to feel shame and yet my frustration contradicted that.

I was determined not to let frustration win and for there to be no memories that would scar this little guy! It was in this process that the hint of something incredibly important began to surface, but I couldn’t quite put my grasp on it. The mere hint of it pulled me up and away from old behaviors and familiar frustrations and even though I couldn’t quite tell then what it was I can now, but it’s not the right time to share it in the story.

And Bryden’s daddy was focusing on what he was in Teen Challenge for, and as we sat in our chairs waiting for them to call his name for the first phase graduation, we were convinced of that.
Yes, George and I were experiencing all kinds of redemption, amazed at His sovereignty that makes true redemption possible. Join me Monday for more moments of Nana Holds.

Transformed,

Evinda

Nana Holds

Thanks for joining me today for Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. I know it can be difficult to stop and take a break and tune it all out, but it’s good to feed your soul so you can keep going and wearing all the hats you wear, girlfriend! Grab your coffee and come on in.

The next memorable thing that happened, albeit not necessarily a good one, is the conversation we had with bio mom’s parents after the court hearing. We boldly stated that they were more than welcome to come and visit Bryden in our home but he would not be going on any overnights with them until the Court determined visitation. We explained that their daughter requested this because of his alcoholism and her mom’s struggle with depression, self-medicating and pot smoking.

Okay. I just heard a little warning signal. Please know I’m not bringing all this out to bash them in any way; Lord knows I’ve had my share of junk that He has helped me unpack and is still unpacking. This is part of the story, and part of what we are up against. When people are in their diseases and bondages, they don’t even know they are! It is what it is and being Bry’s temporary guardians, we need to protect him as much as possible from the baggage so he doesn’t wind up packed in it!

I was the one who got to break the news to them, actually him because he kept blowing up my phone. I remember being very matter-of-fact, and as he verbally bashed his daughter, I reminded him it was their fight, not ours. One of the last things I told him was, I believed God could use this to bring healing to their relationship, to build a bridge that had broken down by all their physical confrontations and verbal beatings that would scar for a lifetime if left inside and not surrendered and forgiven.

Well, that conversation went over about as good as a fart in church! Bio mom was happy but her parents were like bees swarming around someone upsetting their nest. About two weeks later, we were served with papers. They had hired an attorney to gain visitation rights that would be appearing for them at our court hearing on September 24th!

Join me tomorrow for more drama . . .

Smiling inside,

Evinda

Invitation Tuesdays

Thank you for joining me for Coffee Hour at Chicklit Power. I won’t be keeping you long today, just long enough to share a thought on relationships and extend an invitation to you for our next event! Grab your coffee and come on in.

Last week I shared the definition of “revival,” which is “preservation of life, hence, sustenance.” Every relationship needs protection and preservation. Unfortunately, there always seems to be a lack of understanding of ourselves and/or the ones we are in relationship with and that interferes with that preservation. You can never over-understand yourself and/or the person you are trying to care for and about, whether that be your wife/husband, sister/brother, or your child/parent. Each of these relationships requires understanding.

That being said, let me invite you to an event that will be full of answers to tough questions about relationships! I hope you’ll mark your calendar today!



Excited to share with you,

Evinda

Nana Holds

Thanks for joining me today for more of this life-changing series, Nana Holds. At least it’s changing my life and I pray that if there are any other nanas out there entrusted to care for their grandchild or grandchildren that they would be greatly encouraged through these words. Grab your coffee and come on in. We were at our first court appearance but we are not alone.

Though the courthouse is anything but unfamiliar to me, the thought of being on the other side of the bench was not a comforting one. Being in the court-reporting chair and being at counsel’s table before the court is definitely two different experiences! But let me tell you what happens before we get there.

I was trying to think of a name to give Bryden’s mom out of respect for her privacy and the first thing I thought of was BM for biological mom, but I better not do that because it could also stand for something else and that wouldn’t be very nice:)  We’ll just call her bio mom.

She came toward us and was very cordial. She seemed a bit anxious, as we all were, but nothing out of the ordinary.

What was somewhat out of the ordinary is the amenable attitude towards us, considering the situation. I mean, we are literally saying we don’t believe she should get custody of her son so I’m sure you can imagine how awkward it was, or at least could have been.

But she seemed to have sanity wrapped around her, at least for the days surrounding this process, and as the Court questioned her, she responded, and quite confidently, that considering the circumstances, and in light of where she was living — she was staying with her grandma who lives in a seniors only apartment complex and no children are allowed — the best place for her son to be was with us. “However, she said, I do have a declaration I’d like to file in rebuttal.”

I could tell the Court was trying to hide her disregard for bio mom’s ignorance of court rules and procedures as she looked up and matter-of-factly replied, “Then I suggest you get it filed according to the rules of Court before the next court date because I can’t look at it until it is.”

I turned my head to hide my internal smirk that I just know was about to bust outward and then looked back again as the Court declared: “This court awards temporary guardianship of Bryden Lepins to George and Kim Lepins. The next court date to establish permanent guardianship is September 24th. Thank you very much.”

I turned to George and he and I smiled at the irony of the court date. We would be appearing before Her Honor on my husband’s birthday!

Join me Wednesday for more of Nana Holds.

Rejoicing,

Evinda



P.S. Join me and Steve today at www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power for more on breaking free from co-dependency!

Power Friday at Chicklit Power

Thanks so much for joining me for our Power Friday at Chicklit Power. Grab your coffee and come on in.

This week’s power thought comes from a real-life situation and as my husband and I listened to the details, I think both our hearts squeezed with sorrow. At first we were hopeful hearing that our friend had received a confession and thereby some sort of validation. I held my breath as our friend relayed the details of what had transpired leading up to the confession and then what happened after. It’s what happened right after the so-called confession that hope went out the window. It became very apparent that the reason for the confession was really for the sake of the one confessing. This is definitely another co-dependent trait, symptom, whatever you want to call it!

Don’t get me wrong; none of us have a camera into this person’s heart, but the person receiving this confession didn’t feel the relief and hope that often a confession can bring.

It really made me stop and think: Why do we confess when we do? Is it because we are genuinely sorry for the wrong/hurt it caused, or because we need to get it off our shoulders so we can feel better? That’s where this power thought comes from.

“A confession coming from Godly sorrow has the power to heal both the offended and the offender, but a self-seeking confession doubles the wound.”

Thoughtfully,

Evinda

Nana Holds

Thank you for stopping by Coffee Hour and taking the time to have coffee with me. I love these little breaks we take and I hope you are enjoying them as well. Grab your coffee and come on in. We left off with a sticky situation.

The sticky piece to the puzzle is she and her parents were not on good speaking terms. In fact, she and her dad are very hostile towards each other and there are definitely a lot of unresolved issues in their history. What she was requesting, and she reiterated it in her un-filed declaration is that she did not want her son visiting overnight with her parents.

That presented a problem for her parents’ visitations with this little innocent guy who loved his other Papa and Grammy, as he called his mommy’s mom. All we had to go on was what she told us and it wasn’t good, but was it trustworthy? The questions began coming at us like a tornado. Was she telling us all these things just to get back at her parents? Which person were we dealing with? And were her parents telling us all they were telling us just to get back at her? In the past, they have been known to tell people what they want to hear!

It was an ugly cycle of he-said/she-said and yet, history had proved much of what her parents said about their only daughter. But I was really wanting to have a fresh start; I was believing that there could be a new start and restoration could be woven all over and through this circumstance.

George and I prayed, and we kept Bry’s other Grandma involved as well. Up to this point she’s the one he had spent more than half of his life with, the one he was still calling mommy! She filed a declaration of all she had witnessed, and let me tell you, it was full of facts, painful and factual truths. I think it was like four pages!

The first court date was to grant temporary guardianship until the court could hear the matter. I remember feeling a bit anxious, wondering who would show up and who wouldn’t. I didn’t have long to wait. After finding our name on the calendar, I turned and there she was, Bryden’s biological mommy, all dressed up in a suit and everything! She actually looked somewhat serious.
Join me Monday for more of Nana Holds and the court’s decision for temporary guardianship.

Rewinding the moments,

Evinda

Nana Holds

Thanks so much for joining me today for a little break at Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power. I hope your year is off to a great start. As for mine, well, I’m already seat-belted in because it started with a couple of jolts, but that’s for a different day! Grab your coffee and come on in.

There were several little God-prints in the paperwork process, like getting all of his mommy’s information, but we had a little help from family in the CPS system! It still amazes me as I look back on it all how smooth it all went. Anyway, after the paperwork was completed, and served on all parties, including his mommy, we waited with bated breath for her phone call.

And before I tell you about that phone call, I must rewind a bit and share some powerful history. See, this person was number 2 on my unlovable list and moved up to the prize-winning number 1 spot when my mother passed just two years ago. And she’s remained my number 1; at least she remained my number 1 at least up through this point in time. We had several conflicts which I struggled to resolve Christ-like, and for the most part, I think I did okay, though I am certain there was/is room for improvement.

Getting back to the phone call, the person who called us was not the same person we had dealt with in months past – did I mention in the past, and her parents confirmed this, she was diagnosed with a personality disorder? I’m so not saying that to bash her, either. She’s not who or what God created her to be. So suffice it to say, I’m never sure who I’m going to be dealing with. She was a bit contrite, definitely combative and defensive, which is her normal persona. She was also incredibly amenable to the idea of George and I being Bry’s guardians. Trust me, that was not the message she was giving at the very beginning of this nightmare turned beautiful!

We hung up the phone somewhat amazed, and then realized that change of heart did not come from anything we did but had to have been from God above who works in mysterious and sovereign ways. Her whole agreeing to our guardianship was yet another confirmation that we were doing what He was calling us to do and not only that, He was in it, all around it and guiding us through it! We weren’t alone and He would continue to equip us!

There was one sticky request she left us with that was definitely going to put us in the middle of something we didn’t want to be in the middle of . . .

Join me tomorrow for more of Nana Holds.

Evinda