Faith Filled Fridays From Croley’s Corner of Chicklit Power

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Let Your hand become my help, for I have chosen Your precepts. Psalm 119:173
Good morning and thanks for joining me today. Grab your favorite beverage and journal. My prayer has been as you read each week’s blog that you gain sweet insight into His Word. So let’s get started.
For many who know my testimony, you know our daughter was diagnosed at the age of 11 with an incurable disease by the terms of doctors called “Gaucher” (although this disease is inherent) and there are many pieces to this puzzle, a picture that hasn’t exactly been completed but I totally trust God is in control. I can recall when she was in the third grade she came home from school, excited that on this particular day she had access to this little mound and was able to tell others about Jesus. She exclaimed in her tiny little voice, “There were a lot of kids, mom, and they listened.” Within a few short weeks her territory grew and it’s been growing ever since. Oh the heart of a missionary or even an evangelist, at that.
Which brings me to 1 Chronicles 4:9-10. This portion of scripture describes a man who was more honorable than his brothers, which tells me there must have been some dishonor within the family, and his mother called his name Jabez, because she bore him in pain. We go on to read in verse 10 that Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.
We find shortly after Jabez speaks he’s asking for a blessing. So what do you think Jabez is thinking when asking for a blessing? Does it sound selfish? Could it be that he is requesting for a relationship with God? "Blessing" is drawing near to God, to be close to God, to walk with Him, finding Him and knowing Him personally. Oh to be filled with His wisdom and to understand His loving, forgiving heart; all of this is part of a "blessing" and this is what Jabez is praying for.
Many of us have heard different messages on The Prayer of Jabez and is a wonderful reminder because it encourages us to look to Jabez's prayer as one of many biblical models of prayer worthy of emulation. We must understand that true prayer does not consist of a set of repetitions or chants working to provoke a particular response from God. God is not a genie in a bottle, waiting to be enticed/lured out so He can grant wishes. But rather, prayer is about aligning your mind and heart with God's purposes.
Jabez is the only exception I have seen in Scripture to have a life without pain; yet sometimes pain is often necessary to mold us and shape us. Although our daughter’s healing has not manifested this does not stop her from enlarging her territory for the Kingdom. Anyone that knows her sees the heart of Jesus…yes, that’s what I said…sees the heart of Jesus. Her love for many is likened as the cry from Jabez. Can God enlarge our territory and entrust us to use it for His purposes regardless of our circumstances? Absolutely, He can! God truly wants to increase our territory to have greater influence in the world around us...and that would make us Kingdom builders!! Till next week,
Love Deb

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

It’s a great day! At least I hope it is for you. You just made mine better by stopping by to have Coffee Hour with me! Grab your coffee, and your red Strand of Faith and let’s get back to this gift/sacrifice of communication and where I left off, which was without a planned talk, no notes, no nada, just an idea still trying to form as I made my way up front to talk to ladies who appeared eager to hear what I had to say! Talk about conflicted emotions!
What happened next was nothing short of an out-of-body experience as I began to share transparently about relationships, our biggest gift, and sometimes our biggest thorn. Somehow the subject wound its way right to conflict as a character developer and before you know it, I was inviting these moms to share some recent conflicts, giving them the four ways to work through any conflict. Sheesh, as I’m sitting here writing from my heart to yours, I can’t remember the order of them! :)
Okay; so we have talked about one: make a deposit before you make a withdrawal, and be sure not to join the deposit and withdrawal with a “but”! But actually the first step to allowing conflict to develop character is to check your motive, aka, your integrity. Are you exposing the conflict to work through it or to rub their noses in their “bad” ways? Is your motive to help them or hurt them? When you have done a heart-check and can proceed forward, then you begin by making that deposit before making a withdrawal.
Another great conflict character builder, one that is completely and utterly non-negotiable is integrity; use integrity! Recently I had conversations with a husband who was completely outraged by something his wife did and he wanted the world to know it. As I assimilated all the pieces of the puzzle he gave me, as well as the ones he didn’t, I had to ask him: Why is it you want these people told about this? Is it for restoration? Is it with the hope to reconcile? Or are you trying to hurt her because she hurt you? Of course, he didn’t have an answer! Many times we want to go to the person who hurt/offended us and prove our case; rub their noses in it, per say, or simply be understood. These are all conflict enhancers, not conflict erasers!
So step number two to resolving conflict while developing Christ-like character is to ask: What is my motive for trying to resolve the conflict? If you have a divided heart of any size, then you must wait until there is no division and love is the motive, restoration.
Step number three to allowing conflict to build your character is to get your facts straight. Well, since it is virtually impossible to know the other person’s heart, the only facts you can really bank on are those that involve you, your feelings, the way their actions made you feel. See, things are never as they seem, and we may think we have all the pieces to the puzzle of the conflict, but we more than likely do not. And even if we do, we don’t compound a wrong with a wrong. How we approach a wrong could make the whole thing right! Remember, there are always two sides of the story! Proverbs 18:13 tells us that he/she who answers a matter -- in other words, tries to solve a conflict -- before he hears it – which means to get both sides – it is folly to him/her!
Oh, how many times have I given a what-for and a how-could-you only to have a huge piece of humble pie smashed in my face!
And finally, speak words that lift up, not tear down; in other words validate so you can negotiate … through the painful, muddy waters of conflict. Jesus never condemned the sinner … only the sin!


Oh, and by the way, that situation that I got notified of before speaking, well, all four of these steps were brought to life and not only was my character developed, a bit stretched, but my heart was actually filled up with love for the one involved! These steps really work in resolving conflict while developing character!
Well, that’s a wrap on our character-building through conflict segment of this Sacrifice of Communication … a subject we could probably spend hours on, but we should wrap it up next week with some Good News about the Helper who was sent to help us with healthy communication.
Thanking Him for you,

Evinda

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy day to you and thanks so much for stopping by for what apparently is my longest series ever … The Seven Sacrifices to Joy. We are still on the Sacrifice of Communication, and we probably will be for a few more Coffee Hours, but hey, what’s the rush, right? We have so much to learn in this area of communication! Grab your coffee and your red Strand of Faith, and let’s get to it.
You know, I often wonder why I get so much practice in this conflict-resolving character-building gift of communication! Why do I have to have so much stock in Spandex … in the department of communication? Can I get an Amen … from anyone?
Oh, that’s right; I was going to tell you about something that happened to me that’s never, ever happened to me before and as it turns out, it was all about conflict!
Last week I was invited to the Loma Linda Seventh Day Adventist MOPS group to speak. It was my second invitation back and I was looking forward to seeing some familiar faces, especially my friend who had set it all up who happens to be on my LIT (Leaders in Training) group for the ministry.
I had spent a couple of hours preparing what I thought He wanted me to speak about, “Our brokenness from His Perspective,” and printed it all out, got my car all packed with my books, and my notes, and was about to head out the door when I got a phone call from someone who is like a mentor to me, someone that I respect very much. While I was surprised to hear from this person, I was in no way prepared for what was shared with me. The news rocked my emotional balance and the tears began to fall after I hung up. And while it served as confirmation and an answer to a decision I had been praying over, I was livid and saddened all at the same time!
I knew who I needed to call especially considering what this involved so I made the call as soon as I got in my car. We talked all the way to Loma Linda – rather I vented; she listened, offered some sound advice, and then prayed for/with me after I assured her I wouldn’t close my eyes since I was driving! What a mess that would have been!
Anyway, by the time I made it to the church, I was definitely calmer, and I tucked the unexpected news away for later. After all, it wasn’t going to go anywhere until I dealt with it and I was there that day for who knows who, but I knew I had to not let what I had just learned interfere with my assignment for that morning.
We set up my book table and I got myself situated, and then went around to offer a “hello” to a few of the familiar faces, and Jenn introduced me to the ones that weren’t familiar. As the meeting got started, and the leader introduced the ice breaker, I felt this sort of ice breaker go down my spine as I heard Him tell me “You won’t be talking about what you prepared!”
I looked around me almost hoping to see someone smiling at me and ready to say, “Just kidding.” But that didn’t happen. As the leader finished her instructions for the ice breaker, He confirmed once again that I would not be talking about what I had prepared.
That ice breaker feeling turned into a hot flash that slowly dripped down my back, drip, drop, drip, drop and I sat up nice and straight hoping it would just drop! I listened to each lady participate in the ice breaker, which was to share what she felt was her love language – aka, the way we receive love -- and if she was married, the love language of her spouse. When it came my turn, I shared my love language, and I shared a funny story about how I learned my husband’s.
I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking okay; I’m supposed to talk about relationships. I can do this! He echoed, “We can do this.” I began to relax, just a little, trying to steer my mind away from when they would call me up there and I would have to go … WITHOUT MY NOTES!
Before I knew it, Jenn was getting up to introduce me and my insides began to feel like someone was in there twisting and turning them as if they were made of Gumby-like material while giant-sized moths were flying all around the twisted mess. A familiar voice, though not a constant familiar, let me know that what I was going to be talking about would prepare me for the conflict that was waiting for me when I was finished there that day; that the person that really needed to hear what I was about to say was ME!
Join me tomorrow for more of this story all about a sacrifice of communication!

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power … and me! I’m so delighted you could make the time to take the time to stop by for more of this series. Grab your coffee and your red Strand of Faith and let’s go tie some knots in our strand of faith about communication and learn how to handle conflict instead of run from it!
Let’s face it; whenever we hear the word conflict, most of us run for cover … or just ignore it, or even make it worse by adding to it. What if I told you that God desires to use conflict as a character builder? Seriously! There are so many scriptures to back this up, directives to tell us how, and many promises that confirm the reward! All we need to do is to consciously choose to practice a few practical steps when faced with a conflict. You know what would happen? We would be changed! The conflict may still remain, but its power over us lessens its negative effect in us and over us, no longer able to suck the joy out of us, let alone precious life. Practicing these steps will build our Christ-like character. Let’s talk about as many as we can today.
My favorite one is incredibly effective, and it’s the one I try the most: make a deposit before you make a withdrawal! In other words, find something good to affirm before proceeding to the core of the conflict. And for heaven’s sake, don’t make that deposit and then erase it with a “but”!
Granted, it’s much easier to resolve conflict with like-minded people than with someone who just insists on being unlovable; however, that unlovable only became unlovable when they began to feel unloved!
See, Ephesians 4:26 says that God knows we’re going to get angry; it’s what we do in our anger that separates us from this world! Making a deposit before making a withdrawal is seasoning the speech with salt as Colossians 4:6 tells us to do. Now, what does this look like? Well, I think the most generic one could go something like this: “I really value you as a ____________ (you fill in the blank: friend/husband/sibling) and I need to share something with you that sort of stepped on my emotional foot. I know you didn’t do it on purpose; I just wanted to bring it to your attention and let you know why it hurt because if I don’t, it will happen again and I don’t want anything to interfere with my relationship with you.”
See, that’s not too hard, is it? Now, here’s the deal, though: You won’t be able to control their response or how they receive it, but you can pray before you make that deposit and before you take that withdrawal!
The other day, a friend was sharing a story on Facebook of how he just got sick and tired of being given the runaround and being talked to in such a way that even a dog would cringe. Well, it pushed his button and he let them have it, and while he may have felt momentarily better after the explosion, he was completely exasperated and exhausted after the dust settled! See, that’s not how we’re supposed to feel in and through a conflict. There can be victory when we draw that line. He had a right to draw his line, as many of us feel we do when we reach that point. The difference is: how we draw our boundary line in times of conflict should give us a sense of victory, wrapped up with peace, not an exasperated exhaustion.
Well, practice makes perfect, and while I don’t wish you any conflict today, I do pray that you will be able to put into practice this first conflict solver in the gift/sacrifice of communication!
Join me tomorrow for an experience that has never happened to me before, but I lived through it to tell it, so I’m going to!
Love,

Evinda

Jenn's Journey from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy Memorial Day! We often use this day as a reason to vacation, barbecue or just have a day off..all good things. However, let's not forget the real reason behind it, and that is to remember those who have served our country. The sacrifice they and their families make is huge!! Send up a prayer of thanks will you? Thank YOU for joining me today!

I've written a lot recently about my daughter..but today I have some thoughts brought on by an experience at my 'other' job. I am a dental hygienist, as a matter of fact, I graduated 21 years ago this Memorial Weekend. Wow, where has that time gone? I enjoy my job because of the people I get to meet and talk with. Somehow I manage to get in some conversation with most of my patients in between the scraping and polishing. I've met some wonderful and unique people throughout my career..oh the stories I can tell. :)

The other day I had a patient whose treatment required anesthetic. She'd put off her dental appointments which resulted in needing a 'deeper' cleaning which would cause some extra sensitivity and pain. I always attempt to make this procedure as pain free as possible and there are several ways to do just that. Well, the first option was not as successful as I'd hoped and the patient was still feeling pain. So, I had to go with plan B. Now that involved a shot, which most people despise, and I don't blame them, but in the end it numbs the gums and teeth so the patient can have a more comfortable experience. Just as I began to give her the injection, she refused it. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was not to touch her with 'that thing'. At this point I was not sure how to help her. She was frustrated, but told me that she would "just deal with it." I had no choice but to go ahead and treat her.

I found myself reflecting on this situation and it made me think. How often do I refuse help that is offered to me? How often do I say I will just deal with something rather than find a solution? Do I put up with unnecessary pain out of stubbornness? Oh, these questions sting! I can answer yes to all of them. I know that I have clung to old habits stubbornly, out of fear of letting them go. I have ignored that still, small voice showing me a new path. I've chosen my way over and over instead of opening my heart and mind to what God is showing me. I dare say you, my dear reader, can look back to some times you've done the same thing.

Thank God He is patient with us. Psalm 86:5 says "But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, Slow to anger and abundant in loving kindness and truth." He is right there, waiting until we are ready to take what He has to offer. If we care to avoid pain in the first place, He's given us the Ten Commandments..which were set up as a guideline for a happy and abundant life. Being human, as we are, He knew we'd fail or refuse them..and He has a plan for that too. There is a plan B. He has something for the pain. He says "“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

At the end of the appointment the other day, my patient said to me "Thank you so much for being patient with me and helping me." God is doing that for me..for you. All we have to do is accept!

Until next week, be blessed,

Jenn

Faith Filled Fridays From Croley’s Corner of Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Direct my steps by your Word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me. Psalm 119:132
Hi, Coffee Hour friends, so glad you could take a few moments of your time to join me. Grab your favorite beverage and journal and let’s see what God’s word has for us today.
Trials and temptations knock at our hearts and surround us. Temptations set in, hoping we’ll feel the pressure. Tough times come right after a moment of joy or even after small victories. There have been times I have tossed and turned at night, wondering how these things work their way into our thoughts, into our dreams.
It starts to feel like we’re in a batting cage struggling to hit the balls being fired at us. It gets exhausting. How easy it is for iniquity to sneak in. In fact, and for the most part, it can be pretty blatant!! And right there… right in that moment… that’s where the spiritual battle begins. It’s in that exact moment that keeping faith means everything. Can I believe God? Or should I believe what I see based on the day to day world? There’s that moment of choice. And often we have to go against everything that feels natural within us to choose what is good.
Temptation is an inward solicitation resulting from an outward test and life can be full of them. Yet our victory starts with understanding the means by which temptation comes. It comes through the trials and tests of life. Let me simply remind you that when things aren't going the way you want them to in life and you're facing a test that is the means by which temptation comes to you, learn to watch how you respond to it.
How awesome to know we have a way of escape. Just as we would prepare for a plan of escape from a fire in our home, we too have a plan of escape spiritually when the tempter comes to tempt us! We need to know what to do in order not to be engulfed with temptation. You say, "But how do you do that?” The key’s as simple as it may seem yet powerful in itself: meditating on the Word of God! Psalm 119:11 "Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You".
Temptation’s come in all variances of influence; however, Paul reassures us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that “no temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
The promise of that verse encourages my heart. NO temptation is overpowering. Satan is not so powerful: demons are not so effective or subtle; the flesh is not so weak, and the human heart is not so deceived that we are necessarily a victim of temptation. In this verse there are some principles that rise to the top. If we can understand them, we can understand the path of our triumph.
When the test comes, turn to the Word, turn to your Father in prayer (Matthew 6:9-13.) When the test comes, retain your faith and accept that God has a purpose and we must trust God for that purpose. When the test comes, take up the shield of faith. That means to trust God no matter how fast and furious the fiery darts may be coming at you. And when the test comes, look to Christ the faithful high priest who will encourage, support and develop you through the test and temptation. (Hebrews 4:15)
Romans 5: 1-5 simply sums it up for us as believers; that faith triumphs in trouble…distress… anxiety… and temptation…because His word produces perseverance, character; and character, hope
Remember, that it’s not just one day a week when we take dominion over iniquity, temptations and tests; it’s every day! Know where your feet are walking and you’ll discover no trouble!!
Have a sweet weekend….. and remember to keep Him close to your heart!

Love, Deb

May's WOW, Tasty Words!

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Colossians 4:6
Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.
Thanks so much for joining me today for the conclusion to our May’s Words of Wisdom and Weapons of Warfare. Grab your coffee and your Strand of Faith and let’s get back to these tasty words found in Paul’s letter to the Colossians.
So we’ve been encouraged by Paul that even in light of disagreement with others and their beliefs, we are to add sweetness to our words with the spice of grace. He then continues to add flavor by saying: “. . . seasoned with salt that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”
Well, if grace is the sugar, what is the salt? In Ephesians 4:29, Paul warns us about corrupt words coming out of our mouths and to make sure that what comes out is good for necessary edification and that it imparts grace to the hearer. So is the “salt” necessary edification? Let’s explore that through the Greek concordance.
Ouch! Salt translates to “prudence.” So in other words, we must be slow to speak, not only think before we speak, but pray before we speak.
Metaphorically speaking, salt refers to character and condition of the believer. Salt is also used as a metaphorical symbol of peace and of wisdom.
Did you know that salt has purifying, perpetuating and antiseptic qualities? Think about it: salt on a wound does what? Salt on sweet fruit does what? Do you see the significance and the healing power our salty words could have?
Jesus used salt figuratively as a symbol of spiritual health and vigor which is essential to Christian virtue and counteracts the corruption that is in the world. Is it any wonder that a sign of our Spiritual health is revealed in and through our Tasty Words?
Oh, to be more sweet and salty . . . Join me tomorrow for Croley’s Corner @ Chicklit Power and Faith Filled Fridays!

Evinda

May's WOW, Tasty Words!

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Colossians 4:6
Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.
Thanks so much for joining me for a little coffee break today and more our WOW for May. Grab your coffee and come on in away from the demands upon your life and all the worldly noise, and don’t forget your Strand of Faith so we can tie some knots.
By the way, if I left you a bit hungry yesterday, I do apologize! :)
Let’s get to our tasty words – actually before I do that, let me give you sort of a historical backdrop so we may digest them with a whole new enjoyment!
Paul is writing his letter to the Colossian church from a prison cell in Rome and I can only imagine how helpless he must have been feeling as the stories of syncretism were coming to him. In other words, the Colossian church was combining principles and ideas from other philosophies and religions, such as heathenism, Judaism with a bit of Greek thought with an emphasis on special knowledge that denied Christ as the Savior.
Let’s stop right there for just a minute! Dang it; I thought I was going to get away with a light-hearted blog this time, and not be so serious – (I’ve been in the trenches with my trenchers for eight weeks now to help others OUT of their wounds, weaknesses and worries and could use a little laughter) -- but this demands a bit of attention, this syncretism, which is in some ways like mixing sugar and salt, tempting! The teacher’s heart in me won’t just skip it.
It encourages my soul to know that “New Age” philosophies aren’t so “new agey,” if you know what I mean! More and more we are hearing about this doctrine that comes from mixing this and a little of that. For example: esotericism, a religious perspective that is based on the acquisition of mystical knowledge and is a form of Gnosticism. Or what about the “angel” craze? Anyway, the Word of God warns us about this and tells us we are to have an answer for our faith, to defend why we believe what we believe, and this is the motivation behind Paul’s letter that he wrote to the Colossians from his prison cell.
In verse 5 he is encouraging the Colossians to walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, meaning toward the non-Christian, the false teacher, the atheist, the prostitute, the addict . . . the list goes on and on. And then once you are in front of them, Paul says: Let your speech always be with grace – let’s stop right there.
Well, I’m sorry to be negative Nellie, but “always,” really? Fail! But as much as is possible – and I am in no way changing Paul’s Spirit inspired letter to the Colossians and to us; I just know I fall short every day but I get back up and try again, and His grace gives me permission to do just that!
The kind of grace that is referred to requires a divine influence upon the heart and indicates favor on the part of the giver. In other words, as we make our way toward the unbelieving soul, we are not to be accusatory and/or critical in speech but our words are to be flavored with graciousness, i.e. a little sugar.
Join me tomorrow for the salt!

Evinda

May's WOW, Tasty Words!

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Tasty Words
Colossians 4:6
Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.
Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power! I can’t believe we are already close to summer! May’s halfway gone so I thought this would be a good time as any to get to our May’s WOW (Words of Wisdom & Weapons of Warfare)! Grab your coffee and your red Strand of Faith and follow me to the kitchen.
Since we’ve been talking about communication, I thought this verse was incredibly relevant for us and to us.
Have you ever made popcorn and then thrown in some chocolate chips, or some M&Ms? For some of you, that may be old news but it hasn’t been that long ago when someone told me to try that combination for the first time. I looked at them as though they were crazy. But when I actually tried it, oh, my goodness! It was like my taste buds burst with gladness over the combination of salty and sweet! But the balance has to be just right in order to achieve that taste-bud explosion that feels so good all the way down to the tummy.
I don’t know about you, but for me, texture is another important factor, though, so it’s not like I can just combine anything salty and anything sweet and experience that same ah-ha sensation. For instance, French fries and milkshakes doesn’t do it for me; in fact, I cringe when I think about that combination. Apple pie and cheese sort of makes my tummy queasy, though I can munch on a bite of apple and chase it with a piece of string cheese and enjoy it. It’s just not the same type of taste-bud explosion as the chocolate and popcorn combo!
As we get older, we are told to stay away from the salt – I can almost hear myself saying it in that ominous tone while holding my fingers in the shape of an X indicating the danger! But don’t you just love salt on cantaloupe, or honey dew melon. Again, the first time I tried that combination, I was shocked at the result: the salt made the fruit sweeter! And despite the warning about salt, I find the older I get, the more I crave both salt and sugar!
Well, the more I read the Scriptures, the more I crave, and the more I realize just how much He loves us, and how He gets us, every little thing about us: From our pet peeves, to and through our flaws, in our physical and emotional desires, and to our spiritual needs, He is there to meet us right where we are, and He even uses food to teach us!
The other day, I had opened a new jar of almond butter from Costco. Now, I replaced peanut butter with almond butter over a year ago and am still acquiring a taste for it, at least this brand. Well, in my half-asleep self, I had a brilliant idea: I bet it would be awesome if I added some salt to it! So, I grabbed my Morton’s Sea Salt, and let her rip … and a nice little heap came out.
My eyes got big, like I finally woke up, and I thought, I wonder if it’s too much? I must have sat there, stupefied for at least 30 seconds and then I moved into action. I grabbed the wooden spoon and began stirring … ever so slowly because if you have ever bought almond butter, you know that the worse thing about it is the oil does not cooperate! You have to stir it up and mix all that natural oil that stays at the top ever so slowly but firmly or else it oozes up and out everywhere. So I stirred and stirred… I considered that my arm workout for the day, and then satisfied I had mixed all the salt…. and oil, I cleaned up my mess, made my almond butter rice cake, grabbed my coffee and off to my Coffee Hour with God I went.
When I took my first bite, I wondered: Did I not stir it up right or is it just too salty? A thought fluttered across my mind, dancing like a star and I realized, we actually can be too salty in our speech, say too much and turn others away. So while salt is necessary for flavor, too much is not a good thing! It was a reminder for me in two different ministry situations that while salt is incredibly important to season my speech with grace, I need to go easy… and not dump a whole lot at once!
Join me tomorrow for some tasty words!

Evinda

Jenn's Journey from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Hi and welcome again to Monday's blog and coffee time! I am happy you are here and thanks for reading some of my thoughts.
This past weekend was Mother's Day, as we all know. It's a special time to recognize mothers and all they do! While some would argue we need to do that all year, and I tend to agree, it is nice to have a day set aside for an extra reminder. Same for Father's Day coming up in a few weeks!
This year I was reflecting on my own motherhood and the journey it has been. I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to mother my sweet little daughter. She has brought so much into my life. She is extremely creative and imaginative, which has made me tap into that myself; it's helped me remember my own imaginative days. Why did I lose that? I think as I grew up, I let too many other things that take the place. My daughter wakes up happy most every day, which has been a total inspiration for me, the non-morning person! That influence has perhaps been one of the biggest life changers for me…seeing that sweet, happy little face first thing is so joyful. Her ability to communicate her feelings and bounce back from disappointments is amazing. I am blessed.
There was a time in my life when I did not think I would ever be a mother. The fact that I am is one of the biggest answers to prayer. The journey was not without pain though and that is what I want to share with you today. I was married for 10 years, five of which were spent hoping to get pregnant and have a baby. Infertility is a much talked about issue nowadays, and I have many friends who have faced it. The sadness and grief it causes is very complex. As women, we expect that it will just happen, and for many of us, we may have spent years of our life preventing it until the right time. Once you decide you want to have a baby, and month after month brings disappointment, it is a very difficult season to live through. To top it off, I did not have any emotional support at home so it was a very lonely time for me. The marriage was extremely lonely as it was and there were some days I had no idea how I would keep living that way.
I cried out to God a lot in those days. I went through the emotions of wondering what was wrong with me; why is this happening to me? After several years of trying, I had begun to accept that perhaps this was not my lot, and began to think of what else would fill my life. We had talked some about adoption but had never seriously pursued that option, and I had long ago decided pumping my body full of hormones and fertility drugs was not for me.
Though often I gave up hope, a verse I found once stayed in my mind as a small beacon of light: "He settles the barren woman in her home as the happy mother of children." (Psalm 113:9) I wondered many times how/if God would do this for me!
My life changed instantly one night in June of 2008 when a friend from Washington called me to tell me about a baby she knew was going to be up for adoption in just a few months. The more of the story she told me, I realized that I knew the people she was talking of; they were friends and neighbors of my sister here in CA!! I get chills when I think of how God orchestrated this situation. To make a long story short, we made contact with the parents, and because they knew us they immediately said that we could have the baby.
The following two months were spent going through all the proper channels to be able to bring her home and on August 7th, 2008 that beautiful girl was born. On August 9^th -- my birthday!!!! -- she was placed in my arms and I became a mom. I had no idea of the road that was before me but I knew that God had answered my prayer. He had indeed turned five years of barrenness into a unique and beautiful story.
God answers prayers. He has His own timing. Someday I will look back on the twists and turns of life as I do on those difficult five years, and know I would not have it any other way. Some days are hard, some weeks and years are too, but through it all, He listens and He walks through it with us. When His answers come, they are right on time!
Until next week, be blessed

Faith Filled Fridays From Croley’s Corner of Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. Matthew 25:34
Welcome to Coffee Hour and thanks for joining me today you know the routine so let’s get started.
I wanted to let you know I have a heart condition. Now don’t get to excited by this statement; it’s called grandchildren!! Yes, I’m crazy about my grandkids!! And truthfully speaking, can’t we all say we’ve had a heart condition at one time or another over someone(s) we’ve loved!! Further explanation is coming. Spiritual birth makes someone a child of God, and how great is the love of our Father to us as His children? When we except Christ; we have been adopted in to an eternal family: “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.” John 1:12-13
I love when our grandchildren come to stay, whether it’s a short visit or for a couple days, my heart swells within me when I hear their voices squealing, calling our names and witnessing their faces lighting up. They actually race to see who can get to us first by running as fast as their feet can carry them, straight into our arms. Yes, you can say they have captured our hearts! And for me, to be able to wrap my arms around them and kiss the tops of their heads… well, there’s no other heart condition I’d rather have. Although on paper, two have been adopted, yet in our hearts there are no variances; our love for them is just as great as the other three…there are no differences!!!
Recently we‘ve been going through some of my belongings that they’ve admired for some time now and I’ve reminded them that it will be theirs one day, I explained it’s called an inheritance. Now that may sound a bit morbid but it’s the truth.
Just as in a human family, the Father provides a spiritual inheritance for His children. Proverbs 13:22. So it is in the family of God; as children of God, we inherit nothing less than the kingdom of God. In Ephesians 1:3, we are told that believers are blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. These spiritual blessings are infinite, eternal, and reside in Christ, and by God’s grace we are given these blessings as His children.
As earthly children we eventually inherit what our parents leave behind for us after their death. But in God’s case, believers are already reaping the rewards of our inheritance by having peace with Him through the sacrifice of His Son on the cross. Ephesians 1:13–14: you and I are heirs of God through Christ! We’re joint heirs with Jesus! Romans 8:17.So His inheritance is our inheritance too! How exciting!!
We can never do anything to deserve it for it is His gift of love, mercy and grace to us. Liken as our grandchildren, it’s a gift of our love towards them; it’s a heart condition!! 1 Thessalonians 2:12 tells us that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.
Being a part of the family of God is the greatest blessing given to us as believers. We must be reminded as “Sons and Daughter” of our Heavenly Father that He too, loves for us to run to Him, to meet Him with great expectancy knowing that He loves us just the way we are with all our imperfections. WHY? Because we are considered His children; that’s why!
God has a heart condition -- it’s a heart condition -- towards us! See you next week and remember, keep Him close to your heart
Love Deb

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thank you for sharing this Coffee Hour with me as I write from my heart to yours about this subject of communication that literally thousands of books have been written about! Grab your coffee and your red Strand of Faith and let’s go tie the final knots in this relevant subject.
Proverbs 15:2 says that the tongue of the wise uses knowledge, in other words, we step back emotionally and mentally before jumping forward with a reaction. This is the difference between responding vs. reacting. In fact, we are supposed to take this time to step back and sort of season our talk with some salt … salt ads flavor, the flavor of kindness, gentleness, peace, patience … and self-control! The ESV of the Bible translates Colossians 4:6 this way: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Well, this tells us that each person, each situation, each disagreement needs a different response, but no matter what the response, we’ve got to step back before we jump forward. See this is the biggest challenge when someone has challenged us, right? How can we pour salt on our words so as to not inflict wounds or add to an already-existing wound? The first and only thing that comes to mind is to do a heart check! I remember an angry husband coming to me one time, sharing all kinds of ugly stuff about his wife. He demanded that I talk with the Pastor of our church and the Associate Pastor, and fill them both in on all her dirty laundry. He demanded a whole host of other things, but … anyway, after reading through his email twice, and some time in prayer, I responded with a question: What’s your motive? If your motive is for restoration, to help in the healing process, that’s great; but if your motive is to bring her harm, to hurt her because she’s hurt you, then you will have to take that up with God because I cannot participate in that. So check your heart, your motive.”
He didn’t respond!
In times of conflict, sometimes we must say nothing at all but let our actions speak for us. In 1^st Peter 3:1, Peter tells us that many can be won over not by our words but by our conduct. This isn’t for just the spouse married to an unbeliever, although it’s a great piece of wisdom for those in that situation. There’s no point in climbing the mountain of change, getting to the top or peak of a change and shouting, “I’ve changed; can’t you see I’ve changed?” We must allow our lives to be the voice.
Can you think of someone who has influenced you with their lives, not just their words? Paul is gifted in this area of communication and points out this truth: how would we even have faith without the knowledge imparted through good communication? We take that leap of faith because someone communicates to us in a way that grabs at our heart and squeezes it and causes us to recognize the necessity of the reality of Christ. Do you see what I mean?
Have you ever been listening to a message from a pastor, or someone on the radio, or even someone face to face and wondered, how in the world did they get such a clear picture of my dirty laundry? Do they have a camera or X-ray vision that goes straight to my mind and down to my heart?
So who or what communicated to you your need for a Savior?
That’s almost a wrap on this sacrifice! Next week, we will cover the final part in this sacrifice of communication, because without it, we would most certainly continuously fail in this area of communication and in this sacrificial journey!
Love,

Evinda

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Oh, happy day to you and thanks so, so much for stopping by to have coffee with me! We are tying the final knots in this sacrifice of communication, and I’m hoping to be done with this sacrifice after our Coffee Hour tomorrow, and yet, if He leads me to communicate more to you from my heart to yours … so be it! Grab your coffee, and your red Strand of Faith (SOF), and let’s get back to some Biblical ingredients for good communication.
Oh, this next reminder is a good one! It sort of has a sharp edge of conviction to it, at least to me. Ephesians 4:29 reminds us to not let any corrupt communication come out of our mouths but use language that lifts up, not tears down for this blesses God in Heaven.
Now, the first thing I thought of is cussing, or a “slip of the tongue". When I think of the truth that one minute I can have a potty mouth and the next minute be praising Him, I am a bit convicted of talking out of two different sides of my mouth! See one slip of the tongue leads to another, and another, and another … before you know it, our tongue’s totally slipped and we’re falling all over ourselves! But does corrupt just mean, for example, cuss words, or foul language? I’m not sure. Something tells me there might be more to this word than meets the eye. Let’s go check in my handy-dandy Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance.
Wow, first of all, this double r word is in the Word over 50 times and it has about 12 translations between the Old and New Testament! Let’s go right to the context of Ephesians and see what we find: “Defiling speech,” which makes sense because defiling speech tears down and certainly doesn’t lift up. Let’s see what else it says: “it is said of a tree and its fruit”!
So you might not see the symbolism, but I actually got goose bumps. See, if we are abiding in Him, our Tree of Life, then our fruit will not be – as this translation goes on to say – “of poor quality, unfit for use, putrid”!
And one more definition under this context: “rotten, worthless or morally bad.” Oh, ouch; oh, ouch! What falls under this category of rotten, worthless or morally bad? Hmmm, a harsh tone is definitely a culprit, but so is gossip, so are lies, so are words spoken with an angry heart! Remember, out of the mouth comes what’s in the heart. I mean, it’s almost as if the words form the picture of all that’s in the heart, and if there’s a bunch of stuff you don’t want others to see … then maybe we should harness that tongue and do some heart-cleaning before we speak so we will not be found guilty of committing this offense of corrupt communication.
When we began this particular sacrifice, I was ministering to, or trying to, a new believer who had stepped outside of the nest and rather than clip her little wings, I truly wanted to hold her hands, join hearts and pray for restoration, for her good and God’s glory. I know in my heart that this blessed Him, for I wasn’t harsh, wasn’t trying to take her by the gruff of the neck and lead her to her stinky pooh, per say; I simply wanted to love her back into the nest so she could experience the restorative power that forgiveness brings, and break some more chains. Well, since speaking to her and asking to meet with her, she seems to have flown away, and all I can do is ask God to watch over her, to use the seeds that we planted in her life in a way that would bring her back to us … or to another nest that she would continue her process of undoing all that’s been done to her, to break cycles that have held her in bondage, seen and unseen bondage.
I know when someone has an issue with me, when they make a deposit first before taking a withdrawal, in other words, lift me up before knocking me down, I am more apt to not get knocked down but continue soaring on wings of eagles as I yearn to become more like Him who has loved me into change!
Join me tomorrow for a final Biblical principle for the Sacrifice of Communication,

Evinda

Seven Sacrifices to Joy

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy day to you and thanks so much for stopping by for our Coffee Hour! I don’t know about you but I’m learning that the more I give out, the more often I need to stop to refuel! This is a must for good communication! Grab your coffee and your red SOF (Strand of Faith) and let’s go tie what I hope to be the final knots in the Sacrifice of Communication!
Communication isn’t some new-fad, something that has evolved, per say. As a matter of fact, communication was/is one of the main building blocks to the early church. I mean, it’s not like the Bible was put together by a bunch of people spreading rumors! Think about it; God communicated through His Holy Spirit through every author of every book and thereafter it was translated. Without communication, how would the Bible have been translated as accurately as it has? How would we learn about the things of God, about His character, discover His promises without effective communication? Where would our relationship with our Keynote Speaker and Mediator be without this form of written, Holy-Spirit inspired, communication? Oops, I know; too many questions. Let me get back on track here. :)
So while it’s not a “new” thing, it seems the more technologically available we are, the less we use this gift/virtue; communication is fading into the backdrop of life! See, the faster we move through life, the less we stop to communicate. In many ways, the generations to follow will need to understand the value of communication even more than you or me because everything seems to be going automated and decreasing and demeaning the need for healthy communication; however, the value of good communication remains highly relevant.
I just thought of something that really hits this one home. My guy and I were out having dinner one night – although this has happened more than once – and he nudged me, indicating with his head which direction to look and there was a couple, both of them on their “smart” phones! Instead of taking the time to be with each other, they were available for others. Or maybe they were playing a game. Who knows? Any way you look at it, those smart phones interfere with communication. Or how about the single dad taking his kids to dinner; same thing, he’s on his phone and the kids are left to their own devices, i.e., running around the restaurant, picking a fight with the other sibling, or maybe they have phones too! Don’t get me wrong; I am on my phone just as much as the next person, if not more, but after a certain hour, my phone is off. When I go out with my guy, it’s at home or in the car. Smart phones cannot take the place of meaningful communication! That could be an entire week’s blog, but I’ll stay on track, here and get off my soap box! :)
I would be really missing the mark if I didn’t spend some time on some Biblical ingredients of good communication… and bad, because when we put all the ingredients that go into good, or bad, communication, our Keynote Speaker has definitely given us many ingredients as well as vivid how-to’s and explanatory don’t do’s. He used all kinds of personalities to make each example clear, people who succeeded as well as people who failed.
In other words, Jesus made a huge deal about communication!
In Proverbs 15:1 we read that a soft answer is a must in the recipe for good communication. Ouch! In other words, when someone bites our head off, do we bite back? Oh, how often I have been accused of having a “tone,” or speaking too loud, something that I am consistently working on, because let’s face it, our tone can truly be a camera into our hearts. You’ve heard it said before, “It is not what you say, but how you say it”? A soft answer decreases the fire. When someone says something to us that is hurtful, in other words, lights a match, do we throw water on the fire, or another log?
Oh, my goodness, I used to be such a yeller … and it would shut my guy down faster than pressing the off button on the television. To me, it was normal to yell; after all, I’d often wake from my sleep to screaming, yelling and fighting in the background. That was the way my biological family communicated … so hurtful. Now I know better. But just as speaking loudly can sound angry, I’ve also learned that being too intense is also detrimentally harmful to healthy communication.
I remember when our families first blended and I was trying desperately to have a relationship with my step-son and step-daughter. It wasn’t until I had been married for SEVEN years that I realized part of their problem with me was my problem with intensity! So I’ve learned to bring it down a notch – well several, actually! Oftentimes, our intensity is driven by a need to be heard and/or a need to be understood. So memorizing this verse in Proverbs, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh wound stirs up anger” is a must for it has a good ingredient and a what-not-to-do instruction!
Oh, to remember to speak sloooooowly, and softly … not matter how I’m spoken to!
Join me tomorrow for more on communication

Evinda

Jenn's Journey from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Good morning! I hope the weekend has you refreshed for another busy week. For you moms out there, I hope you had a beautiful Mother's Day that celebrated all you do! As moms, and parents, we are busy building lives…and it can get overwhelming at times can't it? Join me today as I reflect on this.
Over the past few weeks, I have been extremely busy making some changes around my home. Luckily, I have a very handy dad who is willing to help me with these projects. It is exciting to see the differences and to see my visions for my house come to fruition. I've had this house as a single woman and mom for 6 years. I once worked on it with my former husband, and find that making it my “own” has a way of helping my healing from an ugly marriage and divorce. At the same time I've been taking Transfrom I classes with Evinda as another way of healing and rebuilding…and I find it interesting how both these processes intertwine.
The most recent project was building a pathway of flagstones. As my dad and I were laying the foundation for it, he said something that struck me. He said, "You have to build the foundation correctly so that the rest of the pathway will remain in place" It's quite a process to build a path. The first step is to dig down far enough to make enough space for the foundation; then you have to scrape away what is unnecessary -- this may be dirt, weeds and rocks. Next, the ground has to be leveled to make sure it is smooth and even. After that, gravel and sand must be poured in before the flagstones can be laid down. Once the stones are placed into the sand, they also must be leveled and settled firmly into the foundation. Voila! The masterpiece is done!
We are all on a pathway of life. Sometimes this path needs to be torn down and rebuilt. Can you relate to this? I certainly can. Life sometimes tears us down simply because it is life on a fallen planet. Other times, we realize that we need to make a change and we choose to tear the path out or choose a new one. In my experience, life has been mostly about this. I don't always attack these times as vigorously as I did building that walkway to my front door!
But, throughout all of it, I've been aware of my foundation. A verse I have loved for many years stands out in my mind. Psalm 127:1 says "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain" Oh my. Who wants to labor in vain? God, who has been my ultimate foundation…has used the times I've felt the most torn down, to make something new. He's helped me to dig down deep. Has He had to clear out some weeds, and rocks? Absolutely. The scraping away process is sometimes most painful. But, in the end, He replaces the old with the new. I can be walked on, weather beaten, and whatever else comes my way, but I cannot be moved…IF I build on Him.
Are you on shaky ground? Feeling worn out by the storms that hit your life? Give it to God...let Him begin a building process in you. It will be worth your while!!!
Until next week, be blessed.

Jenn