Nana Holds

Thanks for joining me today for Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. I know it can be difficult to stop and take a break and tune it all out, but it’s good to feed your soul so you can keep going and wearing all the hats you wear, girlfriend! Grab your coffee and come on in.

The next memorable thing that happened, albeit not necessarily a good one, is the conversation we had with bio mom’s parents after the court hearing. We boldly stated that they were more than welcome to come and visit Bryden in our home but he would not be going on any overnights with them until the Court determined visitation. We explained that their daughter requested this because of his alcoholism and her mom’s struggle with depression, self-medicating and pot smoking.

Okay. I just heard a little warning signal. Please know I’m not bringing all this out to bash them in any way; Lord knows I’ve had my share of junk that He has helped me unpack and is still unpacking. This is part of the story, and part of what we are up against. When people are in their diseases and bondages, they don’t even know they are! It is what it is and being Bry’s temporary guardians, we need to protect him as much as possible from the baggage so he doesn’t wind up packed in it!

I was the one who got to break the news to them, actually him because he kept blowing up my phone. I remember being very matter-of-fact, and as he verbally bashed his daughter, I reminded him it was their fight, not ours. One of the last things I told him was, I believed God could use this to bring healing to their relationship, to build a bridge that had broken down by all their physical confrontations and verbal beatings that would scar for a lifetime if left inside and not surrendered and forgiven.

Well, that conversation went over about as good as a fart in church! Bio mom was happy but her parents were like bees swarming around someone upsetting their nest. About two weeks later, we were served with papers. They had hired an attorney to gain visitation rights that would be appearing for them at our court hearing on September 24th!

Join me tomorrow for more drama . . .

Smiling inside,

Evinda

Nana Holds

Thanks for joining me today for more of this life-changing series, Nana Holds. At least it’s changing my life and I pray that if there are any other nanas out there entrusted to care for their grandchild or grandchildren that they would be greatly encouraged through these words. Grab your coffee and come on in. We were at our first court appearance but we are not alone.

Though the courthouse is anything but unfamiliar to me, the thought of being on the other side of the bench was not a comforting one. Being in the court-reporting chair and being at counsel’s table before the court is definitely two different experiences! But let me tell you what happens before we get there.

I was trying to think of a name to give Bryden’s mom out of respect for her privacy and the first thing I thought of was BM for biological mom, but I better not do that because it could also stand for something else and that wouldn’t be very nice:)  We’ll just call her bio mom.

She came toward us and was very cordial. She seemed a bit anxious, as we all were, but nothing out of the ordinary.

What was somewhat out of the ordinary is the amenable attitude towards us, considering the situation. I mean, we are literally saying we don’t believe she should get custody of her son so I’m sure you can imagine how awkward it was, or at least could have been.

But she seemed to have sanity wrapped around her, at least for the days surrounding this process, and as the Court questioned her, she responded, and quite confidently, that considering the circumstances, and in light of where she was living — she was staying with her grandma who lives in a seniors only apartment complex and no children are allowed — the best place for her son to be was with us. “However, she said, I do have a declaration I’d like to file in rebuttal.”

I could tell the Court was trying to hide her disregard for bio mom’s ignorance of court rules and procedures as she looked up and matter-of-factly replied, “Then I suggest you get it filed according to the rules of Court before the next court date because I can’t look at it until it is.”

I turned my head to hide my internal smirk that I just know was about to bust outward and then looked back again as the Court declared: “This court awards temporary guardianship of Bryden Lepins to George and Kim Lepins. The next court date to establish permanent guardianship is September 24th. Thank you very much.”

I turned to George and he and I smiled at the irony of the court date. We would be appearing before Her Honor on my husband’s birthday!

Join me Wednesday for more of Nana Holds.

Rejoicing,

Evinda



P.S. Join me and Steve today at www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power for more on breaking free from co-dependency!

Nana Holds

Thank you for stopping by Coffee Hour and taking the time to have coffee with me. I love these little breaks we take and I hope you are enjoying them as well. Grab your coffee and come on in. We left off with a sticky situation.

The sticky piece to the puzzle is she and her parents were not on good speaking terms. In fact, she and her dad are very hostile towards each other and there are definitely a lot of unresolved issues in their history. What she was requesting, and she reiterated it in her un-filed declaration is that she did not want her son visiting overnight with her parents.

That presented a problem for her parents’ visitations with this little innocent guy who loved his other Papa and Grammy, as he called his mommy’s mom. All we had to go on was what she told us and it wasn’t good, but was it trustworthy? The questions began coming at us like a tornado. Was she telling us all these things just to get back at her parents? Which person were we dealing with? And were her parents telling us all they were telling us just to get back at her? In the past, they have been known to tell people what they want to hear!

It was an ugly cycle of he-said/she-said and yet, history had proved much of what her parents said about their only daughter. But I was really wanting to have a fresh start; I was believing that there could be a new start and restoration could be woven all over and through this circumstance.

George and I prayed, and we kept Bry’s other Grandma involved as well. Up to this point she’s the one he had spent more than half of his life with, the one he was still calling mommy! She filed a declaration of all she had witnessed, and let me tell you, it was full of facts, painful and factual truths. I think it was like four pages!

The first court date was to grant temporary guardianship until the court could hear the matter. I remember feeling a bit anxious, wondering who would show up and who wouldn’t. I didn’t have long to wait. After finding our name on the calendar, I turned and there she was, Bryden’s biological mommy, all dressed up in a suit and everything! She actually looked somewhat serious.
Join me Monday for more of Nana Holds and the court’s decision for temporary guardianship.

Rewinding the moments,

Evinda

Nana Holds

Thanks so much for joining me today for a little break at Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power. I hope your year is off to a great start. As for mine, well, I’m already seat-belted in because it started with a couple of jolts, but that’s for a different day! Grab your coffee and come on in.

There were several little God-prints in the paperwork process, like getting all of his mommy’s information, but we had a little help from family in the CPS system! It still amazes me as I look back on it all how smooth it all went. Anyway, after the paperwork was completed, and served on all parties, including his mommy, we waited with bated breath for her phone call.

And before I tell you about that phone call, I must rewind a bit and share some powerful history. See, this person was number 2 on my unlovable list and moved up to the prize-winning number 1 spot when my mother passed just two years ago. And she’s remained my number 1; at least she remained my number 1 at least up through this point in time. We had several conflicts which I struggled to resolve Christ-like, and for the most part, I think I did okay, though I am certain there was/is room for improvement.

Getting back to the phone call, the person who called us was not the same person we had dealt with in months past – did I mention in the past, and her parents confirmed this, she was diagnosed with a personality disorder? I’m so not saying that to bash her, either. She’s not who or what God created her to be. So suffice it to say, I’m never sure who I’m going to be dealing with. She was a bit contrite, definitely combative and defensive, which is her normal persona. She was also incredibly amenable to the idea of George and I being Bry’s guardians. Trust me, that was not the message she was giving at the very beginning of this nightmare turned beautiful!

We hung up the phone somewhat amazed, and then realized that change of heart did not come from anything we did but had to have been from God above who works in mysterious and sovereign ways. Her whole agreeing to our guardianship was yet another confirmation that we were doing what He was calling us to do and not only that, He was in it, all around it and guiding us through it! We weren’t alone and He would continue to equip us!

There was one sticky request she left us with that was definitely going to put us in the middle of something we didn’t want to be in the middle of . . .

Join me tomorrow for more of Nana Holds.

Evinda

Nana Holds

Thanks for joining me for a little break at Coffee Hour! We are officially into 2013 with the first day back to school, and the return to work after the holiday. Oh, these little coffee breaks are so important. Grab your coffee and come on in.

As the weeks turned into months, in the background the paperwork to become Bryden’s legal guardian began. I have to share how that started, though, because it was nothing short of a divine appointment. It happened because of a deposition I reported.

My office had sent me to this particular job because it was a new client – I think they think I have PR skills, but actually, I just like to talk with them and ensure great service. Anyway, there we were, in the midst of the deposition and our new client was firing away with his questions. His client was sitting beside him and on the other side was this young woman who with every answer was sounding more and more like Bryden’s biological mother. It wasn’t of course, but her issues were like those of his mom. It was through the course of the questioning that a light went on in my head and then my heart. I wasn’t there just to report this deposition; I was there to retain this attorney for he specialized in guardianship matters, and he was a fellow believer!

After the deposition was complete, and the witness was long gone, I told our new client of my situation and before I left, I met with his paralegal and the process officially began!

Here’s the super crazy thing about that: Just the day before, I had gone to the courthouse, found out where to go, stood in line, spoke with the person at the window and thereafter walked out with a stack of paperwork an inch thick! No exaggeration. With every step I took to my car, I became more and more overwhelmed with this mountain of paperwork. It was another one of those moments where I looked up and said, “Really?” Even though I knew in my gut we had to do this to protect little Bryden, all I could see was this mountain of paperwork and I can get really overwhelmed with things like this. I am not a procrastinator by nature, but this is the sort of thing I tend to put off like it was the plague.

I got back to my car and I knew what I needed to do. I needed to find someone who could complete this paperwork. It was going to be vital to my sanity. I’d rather work an extra deposition or two and keep my sanity, and not put the sanity of everyone else who is in my world at risk, rather than have to plow through the inch-thick stack of questions and take the risk of missing something or answering something incorrectly because of a lack of understanding.

So I did some checking on my smart phone (definitely smarter than me in some things!)  What an amazing thing, this technology stuff where you can receive answers at the snap of a finger just about! Anyway, I had actually found a paralegal that was close by and made an appointment to meet with him in just two days.

But God had another plan and intervened the very next day! I just love it when He shows up like that!
Join me tomorrow – oops, Wednesday for more of Nana holds. Tomorrow I have a special invitation for you!

Smiling,

Evinda

P.S. Please join me and Steve today at 1:00 Pacific time for our Blog Talk Radio show. We are talking about breaking free from the most silent yet loud disease of co-dependency. Even if you think it doesn’t concern you, tune in with us. You’d be surprised! www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power