Tuesday’s Trench Lesson

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Grab your favorite beverage and get comfy for a few…you’re going to love this Tuesday’s trench lesson with Lea! 

It Will Be Worth It

            The new school year is starting, and we are getting all our things in order! We are all nervous, excited, and just want it to start. The waiting is murder. It’s no different for our family! As we were driving around getting all of our last minute items, the car decided that it would be the perfect time to stop working! Thankfully we were able to walk home since we were only a few blocks away. I let my husband know what was going on, so we could determine our next move. When he got home from work, he was tired and in a frustrated mood. He says, “When it rains, it pours.” I know he was also thinking that we never see the sun, because it is always raining.

            I want to give you a little background on us, so you can see my husband's perspective. We have been married for ten years, and have had a few mishaps that I feel keep him from seeing the sun and cause him to feel it’s always raining:

Nine years ago, when our son was being born, we had a scare that we would lose him due to a doctor error. Seven years ago, when our daughter was just a baby, my husband was falsely accused of threatening a coworker, and was suspended for a month while they investigated. We were evicted and had to move up the street to a mobile home park. About five years ago, that home burned down in the middle of the night, destroying everything. Anything that might have been salvaged was stolen by looters. A year after that, my husband and I both needed surgeries, and lost time at work for those. We have owned six cars and they have all had constant problems. As soon as one gets up and running, the other breaks down. Our refrigerator broke last week, and we had to get a new one. Now, his car is overheating, and my car won't start. This is what my husband sees.

            What I see is my son as a healthy, relatively happy nine-year-old boy. I see that we were able to get a loan to move into a mobile home park up the street. I see that we all got out of our house fire alive. Yes, we were in PJs. Yes, it was embarrassing to walk into Walmart to buy clothes in skimpy pajamas. But I still see the Red Cross when they gave us a donation to buy new clothes. I see the LDS church giving us all new furniture, clothing, and food once we got another mobile home to live in. I see that we have medical insurance to pay for our surgeries. I see that time and time again, we find a way to fix the cars. We usually have at least one up and running, and the few times we did not, we could always find a ride. I see that my mom loaned us money to get a new fridge. Now I see that my friend is giving me a connection to a mechanic that doesn't charge much for poor folks like us.

            No, I am not always happy and thankful. I get frustrated. I don't understand why we have all these trials; I just know that we will survive them, and learn from them. We are getting stronger. My faith continues to grow. I know that the Lord is always providing for us. My husband has that faith also, but as a man, he needs to provide for the family. Even though we always make it through and get by, we are not “The Haves.” We are “The Have Not’s.” I am okay with that. I have faith, and I know that in the next world, I will be “A Have.” I will be with my Heavenly Father. I will have everything I ever dreamed of, and so much more.

It is so hard to remember that sometimes in the middle of another downpour, but I have to keep reminding myself. I know I am learning and growing here with these trials for a reason, and I believe that God is a loving God, and He will show us his perspective some day.

            This quote is not actually in the scriptures; someone somewhere just said it, but I really like it. I cannot tell you the source of this quote, but I will share it with you anyway. Someone said that the Lord told us this: I never said it would be easy, but it will be worth it! I don't know that He ever said that to anyone, but I can just imagine Him looking at me with love in his heart, and those words on His lips. Thereafter I can promise you friends, it most definitely will be worth it my friends! Until next week, I love you.

Lea

And to Lea, I say thank you so much for your beautiful transparency and I add this P.S. in and from the scriptures (John 16:33) "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." May this truth encourage your heart!

Jenn’s Journey

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy Monday! I am so glad you are stopping by to read my thoughts and perhaps enjoy a cup of coffee and a break from whatever you are doing.

Last week I mentioned I was looking through a basket of old mementos. I've found myself in an end of summer cleaning mode. I go through this several times a year, the urge to purge. No drawer or closet is safe! The garage, oh, the garage…it's definitely time for a sale.

Coincidentally, the sermon at my church happened to be on this very topic. The series for the month of August is on simplifying life. The premise of the talk was that 'stuff complicates our lives. I find that to be true for myself…and I am an organizer at heart. The more stuff I have, the more stressed I feel. I think this is true for a lot of people whether they recognize it or not.

The pastor cited a study that was done on what happens in the brain when we buy something new. The area of the brain called the caudate nucleus, lights up when we buy 'stuff'? Would you believe this is the same area of the brain that lights up when a person feels a deep connection to God? I find this very, very interesting.

How often do we think a shopping trip is just the thing to bring some cheer? The perfect pair of shoes, a purse, a cute shirt, home decor…anything to fill the empty spot for the moment. I know I've done this many times and usually on auto pilot. How long does it take for the excitement and newness to wear off? I watched my daughter rip open birthday presents last week, with frenzied excitement. There was hardly time to see what each thing was before she was on to the next bag. To be fair to her, she has played with many of those new toys, but the newness has definitely worn off... already! So much so that she was begging for a stuffed animal from the store two days later.

I am not suggesting that we never shop, or not give/get birthday presents, or that we should give all we have to the Goodwill. I am however wondering if it's easy to get the 'fix' we need temporarily by filling life with things. Things can never take the place of close relationships, particularly one with God. If our brains are wired to light up when we have a deep connection with Him, why are we letting things take the place of that? This is a question I am asking myself as I prepare to downsize my junk and simplify my life.

In Luke 12:15 Jesus tells us "...life does not consist in an abundance of possessions."  "Stuff" can never fill the space that He can. Hebrews 13:5 says "be content with what you have, for He has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”

May you look up to Him for that contentment when the urge to get more stuff hits you!

Until next week, be blessed,

Jenn

Faith Filled Fridays From Croley’s Corner of Chicklit Power

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I love you, Lord! You answered my prayers. You paid attention to me, and so I will pray to you as long as I live. Psalm 116:1, 2

It’s Friday and I’m so glad you’ve joined me at Coffee Hour. As I look back on this week I marvel at the insight from Jenn Lea and Evinda’s blogs. You certainly know the wisdom of the Lord that pours from their hearts. Such comfort in knowing He communicates through many who care for each one of us in our journey, so it’s not by happenstance you stopped by today. Grab your coffee or tea, and your journal as we begin to search our hearts when it cries out!! 

Not long ago I had a breach in a relationship; hard as it was I knew that I had to rely on God to get me through it. I have never been one that likes confrontations, yet I know they come into our lives for a purpose not only to teach us the ways of Him but also for others who too may be wrestling with certain struggles in their own lives. God works so differently in us all, yet He always wants what’s best for us and what brings Him glory. So often when our hearts are heavy or in pain, we run to friends or family members pouring out our hearts! I too have done the same and I’ve also been told I have broad shoulders to cry on, now and then.

Certainly I have the qualifications to give wise counsel; however, I still only know in part and though the motives of my heart may be right, it’s just not possible to have all the answers and to know all things.

We find in Psalm 139 God’s perfect knowledge of man. Wow, how exciting to know that He is always aware and knows of our existence and situations we face. His word specifically tells us that He looks deep into our hearts and certainly knows the very deepest chambers of our souls! He knows when we’re resting and when we’re working.

Imagine every phase of our lives is like a big screen to Him, He sees it all. I’m so glad He doesn’t change the channel. He understands our thoughts from heaven. When we feel unprotected, His powerful arm hedges us from every side; and even before we speak a word He knows what we will say!  How comforting that should be to us; for no one I know has that kind of knowledge of me, even my husband of 43 years.

In my times of struggle I wanted to reached for my phone to call for wise counsel (Proverbs 11:14) and in that desperate time I truly only needed a word from the Lord. I needed comfort, healing and instruction, rather than from those whose concern for me may have been merely an emotionally answer and sometimes honestly our emotions can get the best of us. Let us not be hasty in our actions and seek for an immediate response.

He is our life line and He truly has our best interest at hand. He gives us answers to our situations when we don’t understand or see what we may be facing. He won’t steer us wrong or give us an answer that engages with our emotions.  During these times we must NOT lean on our understanding or on others....yet we MUST lean on Him until we receive an answer and our hearts are comforted enough to continue to walk in the plans and path He has for us. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Remember He is closer than a friend and He is not only waiting but wanting to hear from you in order to answer your hearts cry.  In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Psalm 18:6

Life has been a bit rocky yet my hope is anchored in Him that He is working everything out for not only my good but for the good of others as well! James 3:17

Have a great week and remember to keep Him close to your heart….love your friends…. More so, love on your family….God entrusted them in your life for a reason...seek out wise counsel but know ultimately He is your wise counsel with great advice!!!

Love,

Deb

Thanks for joining me for our Coffee Hour today and for the conclusion to Embracing Waves of Change. Grab your journals and your Strand of Faith and let’s go tie some knots in what can be a difficult subject to talk about, let alone live through…
When I was researching the toughest life changes that can sweep us off our feet and land us on our knees, or send us drowning as if in an angry sea, I was overwhelmed by a sense of compassion as I read the first one, and an attitude of gratitude as I read through the rest of them. Though I’ve not endured the first and most difficult of life’s changes, I have come through the rest and I have to say, change changes you…if you let it…for His glory and our good!
Let’s take a look at two of the top 10 changes that can send us tossing and turning like a wave that hits us unexpectedly:

1. Loss of a spouse: Oh, I’ve recently had a very close friend lose her husband to pancreatic cancer…and we lost our precious friend/board member. What a battle he fought, and what a painful battle to watch; one that only time will heal but that the hope and knowledge of heaven can bring her/us through. I love this promise found in Matthew 5:4, a promise that will never bounce or fail: Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted!

Permission to mourn is granted by our Heavenly Father with a promise of comfort!
Let’s look at the next of the toughest life changes:

2. Divorce: Wow, this is a subject we can spend all day on. Divorce is like a death, usually a slow and tortuous one, one that our Father grieves over for it is a ripping/tearing of a covenant. I can speak to this change too well, for I have endured not one…but two of these ugly changes. Were they God’s will? No, it wasn’t His will for divorce but even in the midst of the aftermath, God, in His amazing grace, paints something beautiful out of the pain that comes with this life change, pointing us in a new direction, steering us away from old relational wounds and habits to teach us new and healthy ones so as not to repeat the same relational cycle. Are we willing to learn? There’s a powerful quote by Viktor E. Frankl that goes along with this change that I’d like to share: “When we are no longer to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

And here’s a promise from our Father: Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He WILL make your path straight!
Yes, when things don’t seem to make much sense, and change is tossing you to and fro, lean not on your own understanding, Coffee Hour friend…
Join me tomorrow for Paws for Coffee Hour by Jennifer Wyatt!
Until next week,
Evinda

Embracing the Waves of Change

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for stopping by for our Coffee Hour! I thought it would be fun to give you a little recap of our Five-year anniversary celebration which focused on change. Grab your coffee and your Strand of Faith and let’s go talk about this word that has so much meaning behind it!

Change…wow, I think of change and I am humbled…..almost beyond words, which is near impossible for an author! I mean when I just wanted to write a book, and He had other plans, to be honest, I wasn’t embracing it…at least not for the first two years. While I loved doing our workshops, I had not completely embraced this huge change in my life. By the third year, I opened up my arms in surrender and began to truly embrace my calling to help broken people learn to unlearn and re-learn things that will help them thrive IN life and love and OUT of the unhealthy habits that interfere with healthy living. I wouldn’t change it because of how much it’s changed me…and there are days I wonder if I will ever get there…wherever there is, but let’s not forget, He who begun a new and good work in us will be faithful to continue it until when…

So let’s talk about this little word that has such big consequences.

Imagine that right before you drove home from work, someone told you all of the old traffic laws had changed forever: Red no longer means stop and green no longer means go. In fact, all of the signs that used to guide you were no longer valid. The old laws were gone, but the new ones remained unwritten.

How would you feel as you set out for home?

Often, change happens just like that: quick, sudden, and it disrupts our emotional equilibrium and affects our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Change is a loss of predictability and many of us, when we can’t predict what will happen next, we feel fear, anxiety, less in control

Let me tell you something: the more we feel out of control, the more we are in control! Learning how to embrace change is yielding to the right of way!

Let me leave you with an acrostic about what change is and what it takes:

Change takes:

Commitment We can’t do anything without committing to do it!

Heart It’s not necessarily mind over matter but heart and mind over matter

Acknowledgement and/or adaptability because it takes more energy to be rigid than it does to be flexible

Negotiating through so you don’t just survive but you learn to thrive thru change

Grieving: It’s okay to mourn for you can’t disown what you haven’t owned…and then it’s time to get up so you can move on

Energy: These are those physical, emotional and Spiritual muscles I was talking about because it does take those muscles exerting energy to trust that He is working ALL changes for your good and HIS glory!

Learning to embrace change,

Evinda

Tuesday’s Trench Lessons 4 Life

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Oh, coffee hour friend, are you in for a sweet, transparent Trench Tuesday! Grab your favorite beverage and a journal and join us for Lea’s Trench lesson!

I am in the trenches, digging at all my roots that cause my wounds, weaknesses, and worries. It is quite a journey! I began about two years ago, but I was not ready. I did not soften my heart. I did not turn over my weaknesses to the Lord for Him to turn into strengths. In 2^nd Corinthians 12:9, it says: “And He said unto me, ‘My grace is sufficient for thee, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Most gladly therefore will I glory rather in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

His grace is sufficient to make me strong. I just had to let go of my control, or illusion of control, and let Him lead me. I have to tell you, that it is so freeing! Of course I am not free every minute, or even every day. I do forget that I am not in control, and try to just take over. But He knows how to humble me, and gently remind me that I can relax.

During this process of uprooting, I have really looked at the good, the bad, and the ugly of my life. I feel like there are parts that I am not ready to see. Then there are parts that I don't want to see, but Heavenly Father knows it is time, and I can take it. He knows when I am a “big girl.” He also has helped me to see ways in which the adversary has tricked me. In the scriptures, we are told many times about how crafty the devil is, and how he will try to turn things around and lie to us. I came across 2^nd Corinthians 11:14, which says “No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.”

I was touched by this scripture this week. I had been contemplating my past, and happened across some old pictures of someone who had hurt me almost 20 years ago. For two decades, I have been struggling with a horrible painful memory. I even saw this man about a year ago in a store, and had a panic attack! When I saw those pictures, and then read that scripture, the Lord sent me a message that hit me like a TRUCK. This man did not hurt me. I chose to participate in a situation that I was not proud of. Somehow, in my brain, Satan had turned this memory into a falsehood, where I was now the victim instead of the perpetrator. That “truth” took hold of me so much, that I truly believed it. Instead of facing my shame and asking for forgiveness for this act, I had been hiding behind it.

What do I do with this information now? I immediately prayed to know what really happened. Then, I truly did ask for forgiveness, not only for the act, but for living so long with it still in my soul. Then, I called the few people that I had told this story to, and corrected myself. I let them know that I had deceived myself, and let them know of my wrongdoing. I had already given it to God, so I had no fear of them judging me. If they have judgment in their heart, it is something they will have to live with. I truly am sorry for this, but I know the Lord has forgiven me, and I am free. He will remember it no more.

I think that I will choose to remember this, but not shamefully. I will remember, so that I can share my experience with others. We are here to help each other, and to be a stepping stone to God and Jesus. I ask you now, if you are struggling with a wound, weakness, or worry, do not hold onto it. Let it go. Give it to the Lord, and then share it with someone. You never know how or when your experiences will touch another.

Until next week, God bless you!

~Lea

Jenn’s Journey from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Happy August! Can you believe how quickly this summer is flying by? It's been one of the best summers I've had in a long time! I will be sad to see it end and school begin. But, that is the cycle of life, isn't it? There is always a beginning and an end, so make the best of what is in between! Thanks for joining me today…may you be inspired.
The dry, hot summer has brought news of many fires around the country, particularly here in California. The devastation they create is hard to watch, the homes lost, animals with nowhere to go. It's hard not to wonder where the next one may pop up. A couple of weeks ago, I drove through the Cajon Pass here in Southern CA mere hours before a fire raged through, setting cars on fire, leaving people stranded as well as running for their lives. No lives were lost that day, and we can thank God for that. I was very thankful to have missed the whole experience!

The other day, my boyfriend took a picture of a sunset that was made more beautiful by the smoke of a fire. It was absolutely stunning. The words that came to my mind were, "Beauty from Ashes," a song sung by Christian artist Crystal Lewis I have loved this song for years.

Here are just a few of the lyrics:

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When sorrow seems to surround you
When suffering hangs heavy over your head
Know that tomorrow brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

Yes, fire destroys. It leaves ugliness in its wake, but have you ever seen the new growth start, almost instantly, afterwards? I got to thinking about my own trials by fire. By far, the biggest fire was divorce…just six summers ago: my husband walked out. Within a week I learned there was another woman in the picture. He was also diagnosed with several personality disorders. My world went up in flames.

I know many of you can relate to having your world destroyed. At the time, it can feel as if the burns will never heal. Sometimes the barrenness remains for a long time. Other times we replay the fire so much in our heads, it keeps right on burning. But, we have a choice. The choice is to turn to the One who makes all things new in His time. His word says this in 1 Peter 1:7 "These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--though your faith is far more precious than mere gold, so when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."

I do not believe that God purposely sends trials to us, but yet He uses the ones that come as a result of sin, whether our own or from others which is heaped upon us, to better us...IF we allow Him to.

I've spent time replaying the fires in my life, and I've also handed them over to God. I am here to tell you that the latter is by far the better choice. I've seen Him work in my heart and I am beginning to see the new growth. He can do it for you, too. You only have to choose.

Until next week, be blessed,

Jenn