Paws for Coffee Hour

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Oh, Coffee Hour friends, you’re going to love this one…grab your coffee, your Strand of Faith, and some tissue, especially if you’re a dog lover!

Last week was bittersweet.  I sent my oldest son back for another God-filled year at Liberty University.  We had a great (and super busy) summer.  My dogs got spoiled with all of the guests we had but especially having Josh home for three months; they always had someone home to be with them and Josh is like me: he treats the dogs like people. 

I think we underestimate the power of the connection between man and dog.  They know us as individuals by sight, sound, smell and touch.  They can sense emotion, the tone of our voice and danger.  The bond is strong.

My son, Josh, had gotten his suitcases out a few days before his trip back and as soon as he did that, the dogs started acting differently.  Cory, the golden, got more attentive and clingy.  He spent every waking moment with Josh.  Logan, the husky, got more rambunctious.  At one point I though he was going to start taking his things out of the suitcase.

The day that Josh left was interesting.  He kneeled down and Corey, who had been pressed up against the front door, lumbered over and pressed into Josh.  He licked his face and said his goodbyes.  Logan, on the other hand, wouldn’t even look at him.  He knew part of his pack was leaving and didn’t want to deal with it.

This time of year is full of changes.  School is back in session; people move;, new jobs are starting and kids move away from the nest.  Change is bittersweet.  The sweetness is in knowing that the people in our life are fulfilling their calling and purpose.  The bitter is the sadness and empty space they leave behind. 

I have been Logan, walking away and not wanting any part of the goodbye.  It hurt too much.  I want to be like Corey, pressing in and taking that last moment to savor the relationship, the bond.  Life is too short and God has called us to love one another….that means loving them through goodbyes and having true joy for their future.

When/if you have to say good-bye, think of the true joy for their future!

Jen, Corey and Logan

August's WOW - IRA or ERA

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Proverbs 23:5 Will you set your eyes on that which is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away like an eagle towards heaven.

Wow, I don’t know what you think when you read that verse, but my head and my heart so need this visual truth. It’s almost like you can see dollar bills of every denomination sprout wings and fly away, especially after a session of bill paying, huh? Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by today for our Coffee Hour! It’s that time again, our WOW time! Whew, I can’t believe August is almost gone. Where has this year gone? Anyway, if you’re new to CPM and TCU, WOW stands for Weapons of Warfare and/or Words of Wisdom so grab your coffee and your strand of faith and let’s go tie some knots as we put ourselves into our WOW for August.

Just last week, I parked my car in the credit union parking lot, ready to bang my head on the steering wheel as I contemplated what I was about to go do: -- no, I wasn’t about to rob the bank; J however, I was going to withdraw yet again from the savings account. My mind raced with all sorts of thoughts, positive, negative and everything in between. I was getting closer and closer to the ledge of despair as I calculated how much we needed this month. “But at least we have it,” I muttered aloud. Another negative thought pulled on my emotions, and again I pushed it away with a positive thought. I reminded myself that it never pays off to put our hope in money.  But let’s be honest: it sure does help us along, doesn’t it?

I tried not to dance with the enemy by entertaining the constant thoughts and questions flitting through my head as if they were all doing the fox trot on hallowed ground, but I wasn’t quite able to send all of them out on their butts. I had sort of a scowl in my heart, and honestly, I questioned God, asking Him why I had to be tested so much; I’d surrendered to my calling in ministry; what more did/does He want? A groan escaped me as tears ran down my face, tears that cried “When will you put my husband back to work?” More tears came trickling down as more questions surfaced unspoken: When would I have to stop simplifying and minimizing in the name of a budget, and when would my needs be met according to His riches in heaven? (Phil. 4:19)

What an emotional tug-of-war that was, aka, a pity party and I was the only party present! Have you ever been present at anyone else’s pity party, or thrown your own? Well, there’s nothing positive about a pity party and the longer we stay there, the more uninvited guests will show up; you know, negative Nellie, desperate Debra, sad Sally…you get the picture.  I blew my nose, wiped my face and gathered my purse and phone, ordering the thoughts to go away.  Truth pushed me out my car door and into the door of the credit union, the truth that at least we have a savings account to take from.  Funny thing was I walked right up to a teller; there was no one in line. I guess God didn’t want to give me any more time in my pity party.  I was in and out of there so fast my head was sort of spinning!

By the time I got home, I had left my pity party, physically and emotionally; I had moved on to the next thing: my last class for the semester! It wasn’t until the next morning in my own Coffee Hour with my Abba that He reminded me of that pity party with Proverbs 23:5 and I can still hear Him in a gentle kind of stern voice ask me: “Will you set your eyes on that which is not?” Oh, His Word can really render me silent and humble! And then I finished reading:”For riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away like an eagle towards heaven.”

Oh, Coffee Hour friend, there is nothing concrete about money and as I continued on with my time with Him, I was reminded that to have an Eternal Retirement Account is so much better than to have an Investment Retirement Account. What are we investing in? Are we diligently and consistently seeking after the things of God, with God and for God? How do we spend our days? Are we too busy worrying how our next bill will get paid, so much so that we miss out on those moments where we just know His fingerprints were left upon us and He provided?

Really what it comes down to is we just need to be about His business because He’s all about ours and He does have our every need in His heart and will meet it. Perhaps we confuse need with want and when we focus on a want, perhaps that want may escort us right into a pity party. Will we walk into that party, or will we turn the other way and seek to find a praise party?

The more I learn, the less I know, but this I do know: HIS WORD NEVER LIES! His promises are checks that will not bounce! You can deposit them…in the depths of your soul that you may withdraw from them whenever you need them.

As you read this, I pray that you will hear Him ask you these questions in such a loving and assuring voice and that you would know that you know that you know that He will never leave you high and dry, never leave you or forsake you and He will never leave you in time of need…as long as He’s invited to the party of your life!

Love,

Evinda

Tuesday’s Trench Lesson

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Welcome to our time together today, friends! Thanks for stopping by.

I have a small handful of friends, and each one is individual and different. What I mean by that is that they each have their own views on life, their own opinions and feelings on what is right and wrong. I believe we are all like this, but I find it interesting that each of my very good friends can be as different as night is day.

That being said, I have also noticed that about half of these night-and-day people agree on something. A large percentage of the people that I respect, admire, and love have a point of view that is totally and completely different than mine. The topic that I am referring to is this: medication. Many people in this world believe that we should not be taking medication, or we should not be giving our children vaccinations. They believe we should be eating everything organic, and non GMO, and just trying to be the best “healthy” that we can be. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that opinion and there is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing that opinion with the world. I think it is wonderful that we live in a country where we can freely discuss these topics, and have a healthy debate.

            I just happen to have a little bit of a different view. I am not against any of those opinions; do not get me wrong. I don't have a problem with non GMO, and organic. I do not eat that way because we honestly do not have the money to do it. I have heard people say, “We will pay a higher price for health in the long run,” but we cannot pull money out of nowhere, so it is what it is! I do not have a strong opinion on vaccinations. My family is up to date on all their shots, but I do not have one negative feeling against anyone who believes that is not what is best for their family. I am not affected if you choose not to give medication to yourself or your family. If that is what your belief is, I am glad to support you in that.

            What is in the best interest of my family is different. We are a medication-taking family. Well, let me clarify that. I do not take any medication, because at this time, there is no need. My 15-year-old son and my 7-year-old daughter do not take medication for the same reason. My husband takes medication for his cholesterol, because a change in diet was not enough to make him healthy. His father passed away due to heart disease, so we want to be proactive with his health care.

            My 17-year-old daughter takes a medication for depression. She was struggling in school, having panic attacks in class, and hurting herself in hopes to control her situation. She has been seeing a therapist. She was then referred to a psychiatrist who suggested a medication. It has helped her beyond my expectations, and without a doubt. I have my daughter back, and she has her life back. It had been months (going on almost a year) since she had offered or even accepted a hug, and now, she is all over them! Hugs go all around now. She can focus on the things she needs to do, and enjoys the things she wants to do.

            My 9-year old son takes medication to help him concentrate. He struggled with school and homework. He was frustrated, said he felt stupid. He felt singled out because he needed extra help with reading and spelling. My sweet, bright baby boy felt less than. We went to the doctor, and he was diagnosed with ADHD. We were given tools to help him with scheduling and things to do to help him with his concentration. It wasn't until he began taking his medication that he was able to concentrate and realize he did understand what was going on in class. He doesn't take the medicine on the weekend, or during the summer. He decides when he needs it to concentrate (school and maybe other events he considers important). He is happy, so I am happy.

            Where this can get tricky is the issue of judgment. I don’t judge others, and I guess my hope is that others won’t judge me. Matthew 7:1-2 says: “Judge not, that you be not judged. ² For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. Judge not, that ye be not judged.”

I remind myself every day that I am not in the position to judge. Whenever we even think of pointing the finger, I pray that we can all remember that there are several fingers pointing back at us. Thanks for letting me share!

Until next week,

I love you. ~Lea

Jenn’s Journey

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Hi! Happy Monday and here’s to a great new week for each of you. Summer is winding down, according to the calendar at least! School has begun and soon we'll be thinking about the holidays! But let's not get ahead of ourselves; let's enjoy today! Thanks for stopping by!

It's the night before 1st grade here in my house. We've bought the uniforms, the school supplies, met the teacher and reunited with old friends. Tomorrow it begins. Somehow, it seems more serious now…the official start of my daughter's school years. There have been many mixed emotions running through my mind, and my heart. On one hand, I am so proud of her and how she is growing, and on the other, I wish it would slow down just a bit!

Emotions: The highs, and lows. They can hit like a freight train. Or they can sneak up before you catch them. I am a very emotional person. In fact, most of my emotions are not of the sneaky persuasion. Until recently, my go-to emotion was anger. It was about three years ago that I realized anger was the only feeling I could put a name to. Luckily, it was about this time that I read an amazing book called "How We Love" by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. It changed my life. This book explains why I am the way I am, but it also explains how to begin healing from old habits. For instance, this book explained how anger is a secondary emotion, and that underneath it are feelings like fear, anxiety and sadness. One of the phrases that stood out to me was “get sad, not mad.”

I am only now learning to put names to the emotions I feel. It took me a long time to discern what feelings lurk under the anger. It has also taken me a long time to understand that it's okay to have feelings; they are not right or wrong. What I do with them and how I express them is what matters. For a lot of my life, I fought and tried to suppress feelings, which does not work by the way. I resembled a simmering volcano, to be quite honest. I often felt I was alone in my feelings and felt like I was floundering in them as well.

God has been doing a good work in me, as He promises He will in Philippians 1:6. He's helped me see how emotions have run my life. I have spent a lot of time “reacting” to life, rather than responding. He has seen fit to send some wonderful people who listen to my emotions, validate them, yet, they encourage growth beyond old habits.

I still have a long way to go but I've learned that naming emotions, and allowing myself to feel them, is a first step. It's a giant step towards managing feelings rather than being managed by them. Colossians 3:15 says "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called." I know He's calling me to His peace. What is He calling you to?

Until next week, be blessed

Croley’s Corner @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach and it will be given to him. “  James 1:5

Wisdom, it comes to us in many forms and we can find it in many ways, such as studying, by watching those who are ardent in their abilities or by living life’s experiences! Grab your coffee and don’t forget your journal I believe there are some great nuggets of wisdom today at Coffee Hour.

What one thing would you ask of God if you knew absolutely that it would not be refused? We find in Proverbs 2:7 that “He stores up sound wisdom for us and is a shield to those who walk uprightly,” so if He stores up wisdom does this mean we can ask for it? I’m certain the answer would be yes!

We read in 1 Kings 3:3 -9 King Solomon loved the Lord as he walked in the statutes of David his father. One night the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream and the Lord said to King Solomon, “Ask! What shall I give you?” Solomon answered, “Give Your servant therefore an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?” And it pleased the Lord.

Can you imagine having this conversation with God? What would our response be when He asked us, “What shall I give you?” how would we answer him? Such a good question to ponder! However, King Solomon never asked for himself selfishly but said to the Lord “give” Your servant an understanding heart. As we can see he was more concerned over God’s people than of himself and here we see the motive of King Solomon’s heart! This was the beginning of wisdom that God gave according to King Solomon’s words!! 1 King 3:11-14.

You see The Lord knew that King Solomon was going to encounter a heart problem in which he had to make a rightful decision regarding two mothers and two babies.  1 Kings 3:16- 19. God always designs to teach us some valuable lessons that can be associated in some ways of our lives. Aren’t you glad He knows our hearts even before we ask? So I ask myself what is the motive of my heart?

We experienced a blowout in our motor home some time ago; we pulled by the roadside and we had to make a decision to repair the tire ourselves or ask for help! We made a wise decision and within a few hours we were back on the road again. Although this wasn’t a life threatening situation, it still required a wise decision on my husband’s part. We were in a precarious place with no tools, no jack and five grandchildren and the worry of what if someone was going to hit us on the freeway!!!

This journey may not be easy but I remind you that He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; He would never leave us stranded. We have a direct line to call on Him for wisdom… when we ask!

My prayer is that you will seek Him for wisdom in every aspect of your lives, if you lack; ask and as you do be ready for Him to give you sweet treasures of wisdom and understanding. 

Till next week, hold Him close to your heart.

Love Deb

Paws for Coffee Hour

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Welcome to Coffee Hour! Grab your coffee, your strand of faith and maybe even your four-legged friend, and come in and enjoy Jennifer’s blog. You never know; you may be able to teach your dog a new trick as well as tie a knot in your strand of faith! I do know you are going to enjoy how she brings this back to our hearts!

My dog Logan has a new trick.  He will stride into my office, nudge me, and then drape his body over mine while I am sitting at my desk.  Occasionally he will give me a little kiss.  When he first did it I thought he just missed me and wanted to cuddle until I discovered an “accident” on the rug.  He has exhibited this behavior a few times, enough for me to understand that this is his way of letting me know that he messed up and is sorry.

I researched, “Can dogs feel regret” and discovered that they can, along with other more complex emotions.  Regret is defined as knowing you have missed an opportunity.  In Logan’s case, he knew he missed the opportunity to do the right thing and wanted to let me know.  He doesn’t carry the weight of his actions around with him after he is forgiven.  As a dog, he is not that complex.  He only feels the guilt of his actions when I point it out to him as I am cleaning His “mistake” up.

One of the definitions of forgiven is to give up all claim on account of.  Isn’t that why the Father sent His son?  We are forgiven.  We can walk through life free of our past mistakes – we can learn to not remind ourselves of them.  We are imperfect; we will veer off course and sometimes make bad decisions.  We can regret the opportunities we have let slip by but let that be fleeting and used to correct our course, not dictate our self-worth.

How many times have we messed up?  Not on the rug, of course, but in our lives.  Sometimes I think that we forget that all we have to do in our relationships, especially with our Father, is to say, “I know I messed up today; I am so sorry.  I know you still love me.”  I guarantee Logan knows this. He is secure in his place in the pack….why can’t we be that secure of our place in our Father’s heart?

Forgiven,

Jennifer & Logan

Embracing Waves of Change

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Thanks for joining us for our Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. Oh, my goodness there’s all kinds of changes happening within our ministry; some have been painfully challenging and some have been seemingly easy…but change I know is for our good and His glory. Grab your coffee and your SOF and let’s go talk a bit more about some of the most difficult types of changes.

The third most difficult change is a change in a relationship, such as getting married or a marital separation, or conflict with what was once a good friend or family member. Conflict…hmmm, why do we have to talk about conflict? I hear you asking! Because conflict can bring good change, or bad change, depending upon the way we handle it!

See, conflict is usually because emotions get in the way and cause friction between people. The sad truth is the conflict may have begun over something small but the longer it stays unresolved, the bigger it gets! Often times, conflict sucks the energy right out of us because we conflict over who’s right instead of what’s right!

But let’s, just for a moment, look at the positive side of conflict that we may utilize it to bring positive change in our hearts, our families and our world. Conflict surfaces important problems so they can be addressed. Conflict can also cause us to give careful consideration about important decisions. Conflict can also cause us to reconsider a decision, especially those decisions that were made without thinking or made in the heat of a moment. And finally, conflict provides opportunities for creativity, especially if you are conflicting over truth!

Did you know that there is a win/win solution to conflict? Let me give you the two ways in which both parties can feel a sense of winning in the midst of a conflict and in this way you can both bring about a positive change: Both parties need to recognize that something is wrong without pointing fingers, which requires information gathering before making judgments.  Let me see if I can use this analogy: A treating physician has to do the lab work, assess the medical problem, before coming up with a diagnosis. In other words they don’t just grab some Advil to treat cancer! See, conflict can be like a cancer, poison to the soul and fast-spreading! Stop it in its tracks and take a good look into all sides of it before throwing your hands up and your relationships out! See, not to spiritualize conflict, but listen to what Rom 12:18 says about conflict: If it is possible and to the extent that it depends on you, live at peace with….

The second way to achieve a win/win in the midst of a conflict would be to come together and collaborate ; this forces us to deal with what’s true, not with what’s false, and not that emotions are false, but they certainly are not anything to depend upon, and they most definitely need not be why a relationship is thrown away!

So when conflict threatens to change your relationship(s), remember to strive towards a win/win solution to reach connection so as to not disconnect and bring negative change!

Thanks for joining me for the third toughest change that can truly send us tossing and turning in the sea of life, especially if our well being is a bit too dependent on someone else! Remember, for things to change, I must change and as Mahatma Gandhi says, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world” or in your relationships!

Love,

Evinda