Welcome back to Faith Filled Friday's!
Do you ever feel like there needs to be five of you to get it all done because things are just too crazy? Well that is how I have felt for quite some time; however, this week has been an extremely challenging one for me: between emergency dental visits, an extension deadline fast approaching for my taxes and missing that deadline due to a bug in the IRS’s system, there were also VA issues. Oh, and let’s not forget car breakdowns, printer breakdowns, business issues... Well let's say I am grasping for any extra seconds or bits of calm and peace that I can get.
Well, all of this really became too much and I grabbed my head and let out a scream. I felt trapped, my anxiety coming on so strong sending me into a full-on panic attack. I prayed for God to help me through it as I don't like having to reach for medication to help settle me down. But in this moment, I absolutely had to reach for them, fighting feelings of guilt, feeling like half a man because I can't deal with it all without assistance from a pill. All these thoughts were swirling with all the other stuff as I reached into the cabinet for what I knew would quiet it all.
Well, all of this really became too much and I grabbed my head and let out a scream. I felt trapped, my anxiety coming on so strong sending me into a full-on panic attack. I prayed for God to help me through it as I don't like having to reach for medication to help settle me down. But in this moment, I absolutely had to reach for them, fighting feelings of guilt, feeling like half a man because I can't deal with it all without assistance from a pill. All these thoughts were swirling with all the other stuff as I reached into the cabinet for what I knew would quiet it all.
Just as I was reaching into the cupboard, the doorbell rang. It was a friend showing up and I realized right away that she was totally God sent. She was able to help me calm down enough to get the priority stuff done and then talk me through an emotional breakdown. I fell to tears and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop. I was so overwhelmed with the reality that though I felt so all alone, God heard my silent screams of panic. I don't always have people show up like that and in fact I am alone most of the time. But in my dark moment, God showed up in the form of a friend. I felt…loved, cared for.
So I just wanted to portray my thanks to God and to my friend by sharing this with you. See, sometimes we just need to hold on a few seconds later... help is on the way. Once again I find myself in tears but this time it's because I feel blessed. I needed exactly what came my way tonight. I surely hope this blesses you wherever you are in heart, mind and spirit.
Until next week.. Much love & God Bless,
~John Tam
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