Faith Filled Friday

Hello and welcome back to Faith Filled Friday! 

This last year I have felt an incredible sadness. I supposed I have always had issues with sadness and depression, which is why I came back to Trench Class again. I wanted to do it for myself and no one else. Some answers are found along the way but much like the exploration of our deep oceans or vastness of space, more questions are found than answers discovered. Putting it together is a daunting task and I certainly feel like blocking it out. Don't we all? 

My heartbreak comes from relationships in which I have given all of me, something I’m learning is never healthy! It’s not enough to put one foot in front of the other physically, but to move forward each and every day emotionally as well.

How do we do that? 

Sometimes I will just sit down on my fire tablet and just look for beautiful pictures. Sometimes I stay out longer after work ends not only to catch the sun rise into a new day, but to listen to the birds wake from their slumber and start to sing. I often ask myself, what might I hear that I have not heard before? It's nice to close my eyes and just tune my ears to the radio waves of God's creation. I even picked up a weed that had seen much better days. I have seen a weed like this so many times but never picked it up and looked at it closely…until the other day, and what I saw really amazed me. It looked like there were small finish nails that had been lightly hammered into it. As I looked at it I noticed a bug I had not noticed when I had picked it up. Hmmm, a chance encounter perhaps? I got lost watching this bug take its steps through the maze of "finish nails." Just observing a life other than mine took my focus to a different place.

I began to wonder what God's purpose was for this lil' bug. I can get lost in wondering what sensory items in its little body it might have. I wondered how hard it was for it to find a mate, to find a meal. I was so lost in the moment.

But the sadness and depression seem to be looming around the corner. No matter how much I pray or try and be positive it comes my way so frequently. It's just like the pain I live with; it's always there, a bit better at times, yet still there. But that bug has been in my head for several days now. I wonder if something is leading the bug, like some magnetic northern wave of energy or the wind at its back. Something drives it forward. And then it hit me: Sometimes that is the only step we need to take, to insure the next one after it. I am not sure where I am going in life, not sure if I will ever love again, but I have taken that step of forgiving which free me to step in between the nails myself. Step by step, nail by nail, perhaps I am following the Holy Spirit as it leads me to a better place. I really am not quite sure. I just have to keep doing my part. 

Pretty incredible to think how a bug helped out a human being, thousands of times its size. I just can't help but wonder if God gets a kick out of the things I find and appreciate. I know it is all part of the healing, all part of appreciating and loving life. 

I'd love to hear sometime about the things all of you might come across, things so small that they are missed more than found. What joy or emotion you might find in appreciating God's creations.

Well time for work. Have a good day everyone and as usual... MUCH LOVE!

John