Tuesday’s Trench Lessons 4 Life

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Happy Tuesday, my friends. Grab your favorite beverage, and possibly something to nibble on while you join me today. As my sweet friend Kim-Evinda says, I am going to try to be transparent today.

My mom wanted me to watch a movie with her called The Holiday. There is a story line where a woman from England is on vacation in LA to get away from a man she is “in love with,” that got engaged to another woman. You with me so far? Well, this woman meets an old movie writer on the street. He tells her that in the movies, their encounter would be called a meet cute. Actually, he explains that since they aren't romantically involved, it “isn't so cute.” He compares a lot of actual life to stage directions and scenarios in the movies. Later in the movie, when she is telling the writer about this man that she is in love with (who has just been taking advantage of her throughout their whole “relationship”), he tells her this:  “In the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend.” She then replies: “You're supposed to be the leading lady in your own life, for God's sake!”

When I first heard that line, I immediately thought of my life; who wouldn't, right? I thought about the times when I have allowed others to make me feel small and insignificant. I thought about my first marriage, when my husband cheated on me, made me feel like I was inadequate sexually, and then told me the divorce was my fault because I couldn't communicate properly. I allowed this man to just run me down! I acted like the best friend in this situation. Next, I thought of my second significant relationship. The father of my third child was someone whom I had barely known, but who I quickly fell in love with, or so I thought. After I was pregnant with our son, I discovered he was married!!!! I realize that there was a lot of naiveté on my part in that situation. Nevertheless, this older man proceeded not only to run me down, but to pulverize me! I remember feeling like just a scrap of a person. Total best friend behavior!

Then, I recalled the early part of my second marriage. My husband had cheated on me, but I recall that I didn't really allow myself to react; after all, this is how all relationships went, right? I certainly didn't feel good about myself, and I definitely did not feel like the leading lady! Through lots of prayer and healing, my husband and I got passed the infidelity, and grew to be a strong family. I feel as though my husband has been the leading man in his life, and helped me to act like His leading lady because of HIS (Christ’s) love for me! You heard me right; yes, I said his leading lady. I have married this man, and we are sealed for all time and eternity, so I have no problem saying I belong to him, and he belongs to me. That was a foreign concept coming from a single parent home, but I have embraced it!

Now, there is a whole other side to the spectrum, my friends! It is bad to have best friend behavior when you should be the leading lady, but what about leading lady behavior when you should be the best friend? I tend to be just a tad bit on the controlling side *cough, cough. I like things how I like them, and I prefer to be in the lead. This is not always the most popular attributes to have 24/7. Sometimes I need to let others lead. Sometimes, I need to accept that I cannot have it my way. I always need to accept that it is not always going to be like I envisioned. I need to allow myself to take the back seat, or at least the passenger seat (baby steps!) We read in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future with hope .”  The Lord has planned greatness and blessings for us. The only people that can get in the way of that are ourselves! I struggle daily with giving my life to the Lord, but it is something I strive for. May we all work at turning over our wheels this week and learn when to be that best friend and when to be the leading lady in the movie of our lives!

God Bless you all

Lea

Jenn’s Journey from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

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Good morning everyone! Happy Monday once again. Thank you for stopping by and having a few moments with me. I hope this new week holds some good adventures for you!

Speaking of adventures, I had one this past week. I've talked often here in my blog of being a recovering perfectionist. Life is full of opportunities for improving upon this aspect of my life. I've slowly but surely been practicing letting go of my high expectations, trying to give myself credit for the things I do right.

Back to my adventure. I promised to check on my parents’ home while they are out of town, to water their indoor plants and make sure all is in order. They live about 45 miles away, so it's a bit of a drive. I planned out my week; notice how I say, 'planned,’ figuring that Tuesday was the best day for this trip. I prepared my daughter for the excursion, promising a treat for both of us and charged up her DVD player. She let it be known this was not how she wanted to spend her day…but I assured her we'd have fun and make some memories along the way.

For once, we sailed right up the hill with no traffic and pulled into the driveway. I stepped out of the car, and with a sudden sinking feeling, realized I had the wrong set of keys with me. The house key to my parents’ house dangled safely from its hook 45 minutes away. Normally, this would really set me off, either I'd be mad, or be in tears. Instead, I laughed.

If you know me, you probably have your chin on the floor right now. My daughter asked me "Mom, what is so funny?" I told her the situation and she just looked at me, standing there, in the driveway, laughing. I explained that we would go to the backyard, pick the plums as promised and then we'd go get some lunch and take go to the park.

We did just that. You know what? We had fun!  I didn't spend time beating myself up for this mistake. I was able to stay in the moment, and make some memories with my girl.

To some, this would seem a small thing. To me, it is huge.  The still small voice of God says "Jenn, slow down; enjoy what is around you. I will help you handle whatever the day throws at you" Oh, may I count on Him more.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13

Until next week, be blessed.

Jenn

Faith Filled Fridays From Croley’s Corner of Chicklit Power

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“For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men.”  Romans 14:18

Godly living is characterized by living a life pleasing to God, although there are times when we worry about pleasing man, instead of pleasing Him.

Thanks for joining me for Coffee Hour. Today’s topic used to hit home many years ago and sometimes....just sometimes, it tries to raise its head, so grab your coffee, journal and your heart and see what He has for us today!

I recognized a long time ago one of my character flaws has always been trying to please others. This “flaw” goes as far back as a child growing up. I just wanted to be accepted. There were times I would go to great lengths and my actions were contrary to my belief in Christ. Yes, the word “compromise” can sometimes be mistaken for “pleasing people.” The word “no” was not in my vocabulary and during those times I learned some hard and difficult lessons.  Looking back, I can see how I felt inadequate, insecure and was so full of fear, rejection and failure. Yes, if you can believe that! Whatever it was that moved me, I wanted to make sure I never let anyone down….therefore trying to please so many caused a crack in some of my relationships from friends to family! Pleasing others often brought disappointments and dissatisfaction and the sad part for me was I had to live up to a whole different way of expectations…. to “please others!”

A People Pleaser is one of the nicest and most helpful people you will ever know. I, for the most part, could never say “no” and most assuredly you can always count on me for a favor.  In fact, I spent a great deal of time doing things for other people. Yet I always walked away feeling empty frustrated and full of regrets...imagine that!

However my insecurities and feeling of inadequacies were only lies from the enemy, and that’s his job; he sometimes does it very well, not to give him any credit.  Therefore let us not fall prey to the lies of the enemy…he only brings disapproval!!!

We’re not going to please everyone and the truth be known, it is almost impossible to please everyone.  What may please people today may displease them tomorrow. We must first please God alone for He is who examines our hearts, our motives and our deepest thoughts. All of our motives are constantly without a veil for the sake of the cross and it’s in that, that it’s gaining others for the Kingdom. Now that’s what you call everlasting “Pleasing God!” Oh what a valuable lesson learned.

Pleasing God always brings fullness of joy, blessings, wisdom, peace, comfort, strength, it grows our faith…which turns to hope and with that hope it brings confidence. Be assured that when we speak to others or do for others we’re not after crowd-pleasing approval….but God-praising approval. For we speak as messengers from God, “But as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, even so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who tests our hearts.” 1 Thessalonians 2:4

Paul reminds us…” that you (and I) may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;” Colossians 1:10.

I no longer worry or fret about pleasing man and my insecurities are no longer valid. I’ve been set free to please...please Him in all that I do and of course, say!!

Until next week... and remember to keep Him close to your heart!

Love, Deb

Invitation Thursday

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Thanks for stopping by for our special Invitation Thursday where we will be talking about embracing the waves of change as well as extending you an invitation to come celebrate with us! There is so much to celebrate…and yet, change is not something that many of us do celebrate! Grab your coffee and your SOF and let’s tie another knot in your strand of faith!

The dictionary definition(s) for the word change are: “to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one's name; to change one's opinion; to change the course of history.”

That last definition literally screams the loudest to me, especially in light of the recent Supreme Court ruling which will forever change history as it relates to marriage and family…not a change I can or ever will embrace, nor do I wish to blog on this subject. Romans 12:18 tells us that we are, as much as is possible, live peaceably with everyone…including those we disagree with who are trying to change the God-created definition of marriage and family! There are just some things we can’t change when a change that we disagree with touches our lives in profound ways. So what is it we do? Do we crouch down and submit? How is it we can “embrace” this decision which will surely bring waves of change?

The only answer I hear whispering in the hallway of my hurting heart is: Put our eyes on the Healer, not the stealer…and let’s take the gavel out of our hands, quit pointing fingers and instead invest that energy into prayer!  We ultimately know who wins in the long run.

Coffee Hour friend, friends of CPM and Trench Classes United, please accept this invitation from my heart to yours and join us for a concert, brunch and a workshop too…  http://chicklitpower.com/events/anniversaryparty/

Changing toward heaven…

Evinda







     RemaxAdvA13 0009538

Paws for Coffee Hour: Lessons I’ve learned from my dogs

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Oh, I smile from the inside out whenever I think of this new series that will for sure have us giggling, especially those of us who are real dog-lovers. While our dogs is not what brought Jennifer to CPM, and to me, our love for dogs often gives us common ground to run to when ministry gets so overwhelming and we need a laugh. Her first blog is spot on with many of my experiences and feelings about my dogs! I’m delighted to introduce you to another writer for Coffee Hour…I present…Jennifer Wyatt, an incredibly amazing woman of God with too many talents to count. Grab your coffee and your SOF, because there is a knot to tie in this blog!

People who know me understand that I love the Lord; they also recognize my deep affection for my husband and children.  But…if you spend enough time around me you may think that my first love is my dogs.  Granted, I do spend a lot of time talking about their antics and accomplishments.  I may even have more photos of them on my phone than I do of my kids.  The reality is that my four-legged babies spend more time with me than anyone else.  They greet me at the door with kisses and generally express that they missed me, while the rest of family asks “how was your day?” And, “What’s for dinner?”  It’s not to say that anyone loves me more or less; dogs just express it more openly and frequently.

My furry babies are Corey, an 11-year-old golden retriever, and Logan, a 1 ½ year old Siberian husky.  They are quite a pair and generally follow me everywhere.  They sit next to me on the couch, lay on my feet and frequently need their belly rubbed.  I believe that most dogs’ love language is quality time.  It’s why we love them, want them to be close and miss them when they are gone.

It’s that love that binds us together, humans and animals alike.

As I was writing this blog I started to think about why we express our love, how we are called by God to love each other without question and without ceasing.  For some in my life, it’s easy, other’s not so much, but my pets…always.  Why?  They love us without thinking about it or analyzing it.  They accept our care without question and they notice when we are not around.  If they had cell phones they would probably call or text us several times a day! :-) When they do bad things (like eat mommy’s favorite pair of shoes) we forgive and move on.  Easy for pets, harder for humans…..shouldn’t it be the same?

Now we can’t go over to our neighbors, give them a bone and scratch them behind their ears, but we can express the thought behind it.  I am glad you are here and I am so happy that you are in my life.  If someone needs to hear those three little words…I love you….say it and mean it.

John 13:34-35 “Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.”

Logan, my husky, even says it (though he would probably ask me what is for dinner too). 

Lots of love,

Jen, Corey & Logan

Tuesday’s Trench Lessons 4 Life

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

I have been feeling pretty lost and alone in life. I feel like, although I have many plans, I am going nowhere fast. I overwhelm myself with a to-do list a mile long. There are schedules I want to implement with the kids. I would like to practice decorating pastries so I can open my own small business. I have a goal to study the scriptures every day, without fail. I have many suggestions that would help my husband and me to get along better, and to spend more time together. I have idea after idea of things that would improve the house, and help it run smoother.

I think of tons of things that could possibly enhance the enjoyment of my life, but I am frozen in uncertainty. I put such pressure on myself to get these things done, and to do them to perfection, that I do not even take the first step to accomplish them. If I were to just rely on myself, and stop here, I know I will continue to feel lost and alone. Thankfully, I have a wonderful family, great friends, and a loving Heavenly Father!

I have been guided in my life these last few months. There have been awesome people placed in my life to encourage me. I have had to face situations recently that have helped me grow stronger and wiser. I have been pushed out of my comfort zone. And you know what? I have absolutely loved it! I have begun to accept the fact that the Lord is on my side, and everything will work out the way it should. With that knowledge, I have felt less alone, less lost.

I have also been guided to serve. If you are ever feeling down about your situation, help someone else with theirs!!! I was prompted by the Spirit multiple times to help out a few friends, and I was blessed immeasurably by it. All I had set out to do was help my friend, but I received the blessing. Isn't it so beautiful how that works?

There are many places in the scriptures that speak of charity and service, but there are two that I was guided to share with you. The first is...when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are in the service of your God. And the second is found in 1 Corinthians 13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. Actually, chapter 13 in its entirety is super awesome. If we don't have charity, we have nothing. I just wanted to share that and tell you that charity can be the smallest thing. If out of the blue, you think about a friend that you haven't talked to in a while, send a little card in the mail, or give them a call to see how they are. If you have a feeling that someone needs a visit from you, find the time and stop by. I have found when I am struggling the most human contact is the biggest help. Hug someone. Smile at someone. Say, “It is such a beautiful day today” to a complete stranger. Compliment someone with no desire of reciprocation! Consideration and joy are the biggest gifts you can share with your fellow humans. Please try to share of yourself this week, and notice how you will be blessed by it.

Lea

Jenn’s Journey from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

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Good morning! Happy July. Celebrating freedom is always a good thing isn't it? It seems nowadays it is even more special as this world heats up with more tragedy and unrest.

The other day I went to see the movie "San Andreas." Typically, these types of movies are not my thing, as they usually strike fear in my heart. However, I am glad I took a chance on this one, because I got a reminder during this movie of where I need to place my hope.

If you know anything about the movie, you know a 9.8 earthquake hits California, with San Francisco being the hardest hit. It's really quite sobering to think that anything like this could happen; the devastation is unreal. Of course, the movie has a hero, a firefighter who has the highest number of dangerous rescues under his belt. He's incredibly smart, strong and daring…I'd sure want him around if a tragedy hits!

He was everywhere, rescuing people, hurrying them to safer ground, pulling them out from under fallen debris. In one scene he gets a group of people up against a building, and they survive. One woman asks him, "How did you know we'd be safe?" His answer, "Get up against something strong and stable and you'll be ok."  The ultimate goal is to find and rescue his daughter who is in San Francisco. The daughter has paid attention to things her dad has taught her, and throughout the movie, she is trying to get to higher ground.

I found myself in tears, and not because I was afraid, but because of the spiritual lesson I took away from the movie. I often feel chaos all around me, falling debris, and fear of what will happen next, the struggle to get to higher ground. This is when I have to ask myself: have I been listening to what my Father has told me?

Words from a hymn came to my mind:

I’m pressing on the upward way,
New heights I’m gaining every day;
Still praying as I onward bound,
“Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

My heart has no desire to stay
Where doubts arise and fears dismay;
Though some may dwell where these abound,
My prayer, my aim, is higher ground.”

I/we have Higher Ground to run to, and though He does not always stop the chaos, He helps me/us rise above it. He is the ultimate Hero and one day He will take us far above and beyond this crazy world. I leave you with this verse, "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Psalm 18:2

Until next week, be blessed,

Jenn