Proverbs 3:5-6 
Trust
in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.Have you ever thought you had God’s plan figured out only to be left scratching your head and saying to yourself, “I just don’t get it” when things don’t go the way you thought they would? Oh, I have, and too many times to count. The older I get, the less I do that, though, because I’ve learned that His ways are NOT my ways [Isaiah 55:8] and I’ve seen too much of scripture come to life not to trust His promises. The thing is, each of His promises have a condition. Oops, I’m about to get derailed so let me come back to our scenario of just not understanding when something goes awry.
Recently my son and his family moved to Texas. To say that there is a piece of my heart missing sounds cliché, but I get that saying now, truly. I didn’t leave my heart in San Francisco, but I sure did leave a piece of it in Texas, or so it feels like it at times. There are moments when I literally ache to give my son a hug, to bend down and take the little face of my grandson or granddaughter in my hands and give them big kisses and hold them close to me … and stay there for a while!
That desire rises like a skyscraper reaching for the stars when I know my son is struggling, and only satisfied after whispering a prayer to the Father who has them in His hands and is mindful of every detail of their lives, and I do mean every detail. I can’t help but still shake my head in utter amazement as I am reminded of certain details that confirmed their calling to Austin before they ever left!
After shopping for school districts and apartments to live, they were approved for an apartment right where they had visited online many times, only dreaming of the reality of living an arm’s throw distance from Lake Travis. The apartment they wanted would put them within walking distance to the best school for their two children. That confirmation, along with some verbal affirmations was enough to set a moving date. They were leaving, with or without a job! Oh, how I admired their faith. I couldn’t begrudge them for it. Internally I was crying out to God, really?
I remember when they first told me they were leaving: We were at a local restaurant after a CPM event planning meeting. I was excited to spend some quality time with them – my son, daughter-in-love and my two grand-babies. We had just ordered our lunch and suddenly, as if preparing for a landing, Jeff cleared his throat and began with, “So, Mom”…
They informed me that they had been approved for an apartment and because of that first door opening, they were moving forward in faith to Texas. They didn’t have jobs yet, but they were forging faithfully ahead.
Flies could have come in and nested in my mouth for as long as I sat there with it open! Then a sense of panic at the loss of all I’d taken for granted, i.e., their presence just a few cities away, set in. I burst into tears, uncontrollable sobs right in front of them as if I didn’t have any sort of emotional filter. And at that moment, I didn’t. My world was shaken and I could do nothing to stop the gushing. And when Jeff put his arm around me to hug me to him, I sobbed a little harder, not even cognizant of what others might think.
My mind tried to process what I had just heard and though my heart knew God was behind and ahead of this impending move, at that moment in time, and for at least a week after, all I could think of was the dream of a blended family floating away ever so slowly like a huge helium filled balloon, rising further and further into the distance and one day, gone …
Yes, faith-ing (rhymes with bathing) has nothing to do with understanding. Join me tomorrow as we explore this profound truth.
Evinda
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