Happy
day to you! It’s so good to have you to write for and to share all
these beautiful facets of joy. I’ve been thinking that this will
definitely be a series in my next book in the Destination? Joyful! ™
series, A Cup of Joy for the Day! Grab your coffee and your Red Strand
of Faith and let’s get to the third sacrifice, communication!
As I
wrote that word, I did a mental uh-oh, something tells me we may be on
this one for a while as well, but, hey, that’s okay. There’s no law that
says we have to get through a series in a New York minute, right? Let’s
enjoy the ride.
So before we get to the actual sacrifice of
communication and why it is deemed one of the Seven Sacrifices to Joy,
let’s go and explore the word “communicate.” Now this word, and all its
forms, shows up in the Promises of God, the instructions by God, and the
Love Letters from God a total of 14 times and that’s significant enough
to be a bit intriguing to me. So before I go on to the actual
“sacrifice” of communication, I want to research this word a little bit.
Why? Well, because as I look at the Greek Concordance under
communicate, communicated and communication, beside each context is a
different number which means a slightly different meaning so my
curiosity is getting the best of me.
So many of us don’t like this
subject; in fact, many shirk away from it which is usually because of a
lack of understanding and/or a bad experience with it, but please, stay
with me and let’s have some fun with this word. Who knows, it may stir
up our joy and make the actual “sacrifice of communication” a bit easier
to process.
Okay, so I got the chills because this Greek
translation sounds like a word I’ve heard in the church for quite some
time, especially Calvary Chapels: “koinoneo,” pronounced “koy-no-neh-o,”
and means to share with others, to distribute, to be partakers! Look at
that word again because if I were to swap that last “eo” for an “ia,”
which is the word I hear so often with Calvary Chapel, the translation
would mean fellowship, communion, distribution and contribution!
In English, that says communication is a two-way street with giving and receiving involved!
Have
you ever participated in a conversation where one person was doing all
the talking and pretty soon your ears were just overflowing and needing a
break because the person was talking non-stop, and usually about
themselves, and offering no break for you to distribute or contribute to
the conversation? Well, that is not true “koinoneo”!
True communication does however require that I wait to speak until I truly understand what the other person is trying to say.
Oftentimes, that may require me to have to ask questions along the way
to understand their perception, their point of view, and that’s okay.
Here’s the key: truly listening to the other person does not mean that you agree with him.
That reminds me of something that happened while sitting down in the
airport a couple of months ago waiting to be called to board the plane
to Austin, Texas. It was an incredibly awkward but insightful moment
involving this young couple that I couldn’t help but overhear. I really
wasn’t intentionally eaves dropping! :) Their tones revealed that they
were in the midst of a “moment” and several times I heard her say: “I
just need you to understand my perspective”; and “I just want you to
look at it from my point of view.” She must have pleaded this request in
all its possible ways – at least seven times – and the guy was growing
increasingly frustrated but remaining pretty calm.
Do you know how
hard it was for me to sit there, drink my water and eat my bag of Chex
mix – my lunch since the lines for any and all nutritious foods were
almost out to the entrance of security—and not say a word? I wanted so
very badly to lean into the young guy, whom I was sitting right next to
because of there being more people than seats, and just whisper, “It is
really okay to give yourself permission to see it from her perspective.
It doesn’t mean you agree; but oh the value you will give to her and the
quicker you will resolve your apparent conflict.” When we validate, there’s room to negotiate!
True listening doesn’t require that you agree but it is part of good communication! And the more we listen, the more we learn.
A
very good friend and fellow board member calls this, with a sweet smile
on his face, the big ears/little lips syndrome! God gave us two ears
and one mouth for a reason: He wanted us to truly embrace, endure and
enjoy koinoneo!
Paul speaks about this very thing in Galatians 6:6:
Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who
teaches. We can’t learn if we’re not listening, and we don’t have to
limit this to being taught the word, but the principle is the same and
we see that true koinoneo in the “share in all good things.”
Join
me tomorrow for more diamonds behind communication that will illuminate
in our understanding of a Sacrifice of Communication.
Listening …
Evinda
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