Jenn’s Journey

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Good morning! Just like that, it's February! A new week, a new month…each filled with possibilities. Thank you for spending a few minutes here with me!

I didn't inherit a green thumb. I wish I had. I've even tried to force the issue…with little success! I have a few indoor plants that require little upkeep and I've managed to keep those alive. A favorite of mine is the Ficus tree I've had for years. The other day I noticed that one side of the tree had grown larger and fuller than the other. A moment later I realized that part of the tree reaches towards the window. I turned the tree around so the other side faces the light.

This small, seemingly insignificant act made me think. What parts of me have grown by exposure to Light, and which parts are still in the dark?

I read a quote the other day, the gist of which was, if you are lucky, being a parent will help you become the person you are meant to be. I would add that you must allow it to, but otherwise I agree. The same is true in marriage or intimate relationships. As I've grown older, and a tiny bit wiser, I've seen the truth of this in action. Being a mother has shown me many of my weaker spots, areas in which I'd like to grow. The same is true in my significant relationships. Truthfully, I've been humbled on many occasions.

What's your first instinct when faced with a truth about yourself? If it's good, it's easier to accept, isn't it? How about if it's bad?  I go into defense mode, with some righteous indignation thrown in. If I'm honest though, that defensiveness is because I know the struggle I have. I don't want to admit it. Like my plant, that side of me is in the dark. It can't grow.

 For instance, my anger, I've had it all my life. It was my go-to emotion. A relationship of mine shone light into this particular area of my life, and I had to acknowledge the damage it causes. Humble pie is hard to swallow. I have since begun to understand that God used this to shine His Light into my heart. I can honestly say, through the work He is doing in me, anger no longer has the same control over me. I get angry, yes. Anger is a secondary emotion, covering up fear, sadness and anxiety. Now I access the feelings underneath much faster than I used to be able to.

If I choose to turn towards the Light, I will grow. If I choose to hold my brokenness close and keep it in the dark, I will be stunted.

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the Light of life." John 8:12

Until next week, be blessed,

Jenn