Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power: Loving the Unlovable

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Loving the Unlovable

Step 1

It’s so good to be with you for our Coffee Hour and share these powerful truths. What a way to extend grace, which we’ve received, by learning to love those unlovable, difficult people in our lives. Grab your coffee and come on in.

I was going to move us on to Step 2 but then I remembered about something that happened when I was originally blogging this series, and it involves Step 1. I received a phone call from a friend and right away, I recognized her need to talk, really talk. In other words, this wasn’t going to be a light-hearted phone call. And I was right; there was very little chit-chat and within minutes she asked if she could come over and talk to me about this series that I had just begun to blog about.

My heart skipped a beat and I wondered if I had offended her in some way but I swallowed my self-doubt before agreeing to meet with her. We arranged a time for her to come over just a couple of days later, and by that time, we were working on Step 3.

When she came, she again didn’t waste time on idle chit-chat and got right to the subject of loving the unlovable and/or difficult people in her life. I could see that she was really struggling in her heart with this series, and it wasn’t that there was something she didn’t agree with. No, there was like this fear undertone in her transparent sharing. Suddenly, in the midst of her sharing about one of her unlovable people, something I hadn’t thought of prior to writing about Step 1 began to dawn on me.

I asked Ivy if she had started on Step 2 in this process, and a confession so profound burst out of her mouth. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure who was more surprise, her or me! She said: “I just – I haven’t even started my list yet!” She looked as if she might cry with exasperation as she tattled on herself. I sat there, silently encouraging her to continue. “I just can’t bring myself to do it!”

Her admission collided with my understanding, which prompted the next question: “Is it because you think it’s a reflection on you?” She began to squirm a bit, and I continued. “Do you think that by writing the names down, you will be admitting there’s something wrong with you? Or perhaps you are unlovable at times?” You could have heard a pin drop but her eyes affirmed the answers to my questions, which I had asked because of my own experience in this part of the process!

Her sweet, sweet transparency further inspired me to affirm you in making your list. Unfortunately, I can’t say what you would like to hear; that is that your perception of a particular unlovable/difficult person isn’t a reflection of something not quite right in you, because when you write their names down, it may trigger an unpleasant image of something in you that you don’t want exposed!

I know; that’s a lot to process in one sitting, so go ahead and journal your thoughts. It’s so much better to get them out instead of leaving them in. And if you haven’t made that list of unlovable/difficult people in your life, may you be free to do so now.

Evinda